Trump Orders The Cyber To Be Fixed In The Next Sixty Days

from the all-power-to-C:-drive dept

No one likes it when a new boss takes over the office and starts acting like the entire operation can be turned around in a matter of days, if not hours. A "can do" spirit is overrated, especially when it's possessed by someone who knows almost nothing about the day-to-day business or, indeed, anything about this sort of business in general.

But that's what we have going on here. Within days of taking over the job, the new President has unleashed multiple orders and directives to FIX EVERYTHING… with details to follow sometime between "shortly" and "never." The plan to "make America great again" involves:

  1. Telling Americans you're going to "fix" all of these things.
  2. Telling government agencies and officials that they're going to fix all these things
  3. Right now
  4. ????

Ars Technica reports:

Today, the Washington Post published what appears to be a draft of an executive order to be signed by President Donald Trump. The order, entitled “Strengthening US Cyber Security and Capabilities,” puts flesh on the bones of the “cyber review” promised by Trump during the campaign. It spells out who will conduct the review and what its specific goals are. The order also sets a brisk pace for the review, calling for initial recommendations for the security of “national security systems” and critical infrastructure within 60 days. The review also has a 60-day deadline to provide the president with a list of “principal cyber adversaries.”

While fire in the belly proclamations aren't unique to the new president, the expectation that multiple officials and agencies will be able to come up with what's required in the next 60 days borders on ridiculous. There's also a 100-day window for recommendations on how to draft the private sector into the government's cyberwar. At this point, multiple agencies are still fighting over who gets to be the top cyberwarrior, as well as whose particular data silo gets to be the biggest. Expecting something coherent in the next couple of months is delusional.

This administration-ordered time crunch -- as unrealistic as it is -- isn't limited to President Trump. As Ars Technica's Sean Gallagher points out, President Obama did the same thing. His 2015 cybersecurity "sprint" order was just as misguided. In the end, all Obama got out of it was some agency head resignations. Government systems are still, for the most part, as insecure as they've been since before the "sprint," when the Government Accountability Office reported that 23 out of 24 agencies surveyed failed to meet information security standards.

But this sort of speedy order is swiftly (no pun intended) becoming a Trump trademark. America's problems can apparently be solved with presidential "to do" lists fired off to a variety of agencies. He appears to believe that if he orders it, it will be done. How do you win the War on Terror, currently in year 16 of ∞? Easy. Come up with a plan to win and then win.

(ii)   Within 30 days, a preliminary draft of the Plan to defeat ISIS shall be submitted to the President by the Secretary of Defense.

(iii) The Plan shall include:

(A) a comprehensive strategy and plans for the defeat of ISIS;

It's breathtaking in its simplicity. It's a shame no previous presidents had the forethought to demand a plan to defeat ISIS. And it's doubly-shameful no one involved in the War on Terror could be bothered to formulate a plan for beating terrorists until the president demanded one. Trillions of taxpayer dollars could have been saved if only George W. Bush had demanded a "comprehensive strategy for the defeat of [current top terrorist organization]" to be delivered to him by the end of 2001, AT THE LATEST.

And here's what's going into these orders and directives. Not much. Not even a legal review by White House lawyers.

NBC is reporting that the document [immigration/visa order] was not reviewed by DHS, the Justice Department, the State Department, or the Department of Defense, and that National Security Council lawyers were prevented from evaluating it. Moreover, the New York Times writes that Customs and Border Protection and U.S. Citizen and Immigration Services, the agencies tasked with carrying out the policy, were only given a briefing call while Trump was actually signing the order itself. Yesterday, the Department of Justice gave a “no comment” when asked whether the Office of Legal Counsel had reviewed Trump’s executive orders—including the order at hand. (OLC normally reviews every executive order.)

This process is a reflection of Trump's personality, and it's not a good look for someone in the most powerful office in the world. The federal government often has trouble accomplishing the mundane. Now, its new boss wants it to deliver miracles and is only willing to wait a couple of months for them to be delivered. At some point, realism has to set in, but we're still at the point where the new president believes mountains can not only be moved, but have always been able to be moved at the slightest notice. All that's been missing is someone willing to order the mountain's relocation.


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  • icon
    JoeCool (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:03am

    Easy fix

    Fixing cyber security is easy! Just institute a policy whereby anyone writing their username and password on a post-it and sticking it to the monitor or a bulletin board, or writing their username and password on a chalkboard or whiteboard will be summarily fired (preferably out a cannon). Passwords will also no longer be up to the user - they will be issued by IT every month.

    There = 99.9999% of all cyber security issues are now dealt with. :D

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    • icon
      Ninja (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:37am

      Re: Easy fix

      "There = 99.9999% of all cyber security issues are now dealt with."

      This can only be achieved by turning off and destroying every single computer powered device in the US. Problem solved!

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    • icon
      Bamboo Harvester (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:25pm

      Re: Easy fix

      I think your percentages are off. That would only fix roughly 94% of the daily security problems.

      Would that I was kidding....

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    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:00pm

      Re: Easy fix

      That wont work, because the more powerful a person is, and the more damage that hijacking their accounts can do, the less likely they are to follow security directives.

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  • identicon
    Dan T., 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:08am

    5. PROFIT!!!!!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Doug (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:53am

      Re:

      For those not in the know about this meme:

      http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/profit

      So basically, we have a president with a South Park level ability to create a plan.

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      • icon
        That One Guy (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:03pm

        "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

        Worse actually, he's not creating the plan, he's demanding that other people do so in a ludicrously short amount of time.

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        • identicon
          Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:18pm

          Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

          Maybe this falls under stage 2 of his mandate which is to reduce government size. I mean he would be totally justified in firing whole departments who failed to deliver upon his completely achievable orders on time, right?

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        • icon
          Bamboo Harvester (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:29pm

          Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

          I always found giving a deadline resulted in MUCH harder work being done on the project, and positive results - even if the entire project wasn't completed on time.

          Given that quite a lot of his campaign rhetoric boiled down to getting rid of deadwood, I can't really disagree with the method.

          YES, it'll be abused. So will anything else. This *is* government we're talking about.

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          • icon
            That One Guy (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:44pm

            Re: Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

            Did you often set ludicrously short deadlines for insanely complex subjects?

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            • icon
              orbitalinsertion (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:49pm

              Re: Re: Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

              That's how we get a lot of software.

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              • icon
                killthelawyers (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:42pm

                Re: Re: Re: Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

                Congratulations on identifying one of the sources of insecurity.

                reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

            • icon
              Bamboo Harvester (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:34pm

              Re: Re: Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

              A couple of times. To weed out the deadwood. The people that tried to meet the deadline kept their jobs.

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              • icon
                That One Guy (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:47pm

                Re: Re: Re: Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

                Which might work if you know that what you're asking for isn't likely to be accomplished in the time frame provided, even if they can work towards it, but whether or not Trump knows and is willing to admit that remains to be seen.

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              • icon
                Cdaragorn (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:53pm

                Re: Re: Re: Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

                While the smart ones just quit and got a job somewhere that doesn't think beating people over the head is a good idea.

                This kind of management never produces good results.

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                • identicon
                  Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 6:46pm

                  Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

                  Can confirm, would be gone in two seconds.

                  Outfits like those described do not deserve two weeks notice, just mail in your badge.

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              • identicon
                Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 9:20pm

                Re: Re: Re: Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

                > The people that tried to meet the deadline kept their jobs.

                So, you kept the dumb ones. Congratulations.

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        • identicon
          Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:07pm

          Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

          That is because he has a simple plan, tell other to fix the problems, and the people he tells, being senior management, will use the same plan and tell their underling to fix the problem who will... until the solving the problem is assigned to someone with no underlings.

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        • identicon
          Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:59pm

          Re: "My plan is to make you come up with a plan... that I will then take credit for if it works."

          Light speed is too slow, so we'll have to go right to ... LUDICROUS SPEED!!!

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:10am

    Obama already strengthened domestic surveillance. Trump promised "tremendous backing".

    Educate yourself and your family on practical privacy and security hygiene.

    https://securityinabox.org/en/

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    • icon
      Roger Strong (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:23am

      Re:

      Also securityinacan and securityonastick.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Mark, 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:25am

      Funny

      Obama emailed and rogue server with a fake name, he did wonders! Seriously, kool aid is for children.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      SteveMB (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:16pm

      Re:

      Donald ought to try a "physician, heal thyself" approach, starting by throwing away his obsolete insecure phone (https://www.wired.com/2017/01/trump-android-phone-security-threat/), which could be (and probably already has been) turned into a remote-controlled bug just by tweeting him a malware link designed to catch his attention (e.g. "Miracle Lotion Can Make Your Hands Grow To Normal Size!").

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      • icon
        Anonymous Anonymous Coward (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:26pm

        Re: Re:

        Don't you think that a President who would order every government agency to 'fix the Cyber' in 60 days would be smart enough to stuff his insecure phone into a Faraday bag when he is not using it, or especially when he is discussing high security items with his cohorts (strike out) advisers? See, he fixed 'His Cyber', waiting on everyone else.

        Well, maybe not.

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        • icon
          Vidiot (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:47pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          Here's a tip: The insecure phone comes out of the Faraday bag every morning between 3 and 4 to launch the daily Tweetstorm... kids, have your scanners and sniffers handy!

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      • icon
        PaulT (profile), 1 Feb 2017 @ 12:21am

        Re: Re:

        Well, he's hired Guiliani, who couldn't get his own security company's website secured, so I'm sure he'll be straight on to that one.

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  • identicon
    Babs, 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:14am

    But what does this have to do with tech... oh, wait.

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  • icon
    Roger Strong (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:15am

    America almost lost President Bush II when he choked on a pretzel and lost consciousness.

    If the same were to happen to President* Trump, one can only imagine the disruptive Executive Orders issued the following day.

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  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:19am

    Hell, we are still worrying about heartbleed. While money can't solve everything, it does give us more options. The man isn't a politician, he might learn, we might teach him. Let go of your anger, it never put you in the right, only the wrong. Funny no one saw him coming, and now he is here and others can't deal with it with anything but ignorance hate. Who is the idiot now? Is that who you, or is that who whom?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 6:55pm

      Re:

      Imagine some asshole grabbing your pussy ... oh wait, you don't have one. Ok, imagine someone taking out a full page ad demanding your arrest and incarceration. You would be good with that? The guy is a loose cannon wrecking havoc on deck and the gale force winds are not letting up, what do you do? Get rid of that POS. But noooo - anyone who questions fearless leader is consumed by hatred and ignorance according to this one person posting their bullshit. Who is the idiot, it is still dumpf.

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  • icon
    timmaguire42 (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:26am

    I believe Neil DeGrasse Tyson already solved this problem--create an unbreakable code. The rest is just implementation.

    2 days tops. And 58 days lolling in the sun with a margarita.

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  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:28am

    On the 11th Day

    And on the 11th day He said: "Let the Cyber be fixed!" - and the cyber was fixed.

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  • icon
    streetlight (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:33am

    2 days tops. And 58 days lolling in the sun with a margarita.

    Sitting on a beach earning 20%.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      killthelawyers (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:45pm

      Re: 2 days tops. And 58 days lolling in the sun with a margarita.

      Remember, after you break the cyber you have to drill through the other locks and then convince the FBI to turn off the power by staging a terrorist attack first. Also, look out for barefoot guys in tank tops.

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  • icon
    Ninja (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:35am

    It would be interesting if the result of the plans ti fix everything came with the conclusion Trump should resign. Because at this point he would at least stop breaking more things.

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  • icon
    orbitalinsertion (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:39am

    Do you think that establishing the FEMA camps that house half our citizens, and the orders to take everyone's guns (multiple times) took longer than 60 days to implement? Sheesh.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 7:06pm

      Re:

      Soon there will be camps (if not already) in the desert for keeping those about to be deported.

      Internment camps, concentration camps, I wonder what they will call them this time.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:57am

    Agency created/bought malware

    Does this order include fixing the malware being rolled out by various multi-lettered agencies? Will that fix involve telling everyone about them, or will that fix involve actually disinfecting infected computers, or both?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:18pm

      Re: Agency created/bought malware

      "Does this order include fixing the malware being rolled out by various multi-lettered agencies?"

      Who knew that spy-v-spy meant NSA v. FBI?

      We're going to get US agencies hacking one another!

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  • icon
    ChurchHatesTucker (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 11:57am

    Funny

    At some point, realism has to set in

    No, wait. I meant tragic.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Pixelation, 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:10pm

    I like this plan

    When it fails, Trump needs to be fired.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:11pm

    There's nothing about America that can't made greater with the right amount of ignorance. (except for muppet Trump's ego and his Sith Lord Bannon's lust for power)

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    That One Guy (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:39pm

    You can do that?!

    (ii) Within 30 days, a preliminary draft of the Plan to defeat ISIS shall be submitted to the President by the Secretary of Defense. (iii) The Plan shall include: (A) a comprehensive strategy and plans for the defeat of ISIS;

    Forget ISIS, I had no idea the president could simply order a problem to be solved like that, and in a single month at that.

    Might I suggest he get on a few of the following?

    World-Hunger

    Homelessness

    Poverty

    Violence

    Bigotry

    Disease

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Anonymous Anonymous Coward (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:52pm

      Re: You can do that?!

      You forgot:

      Corruption
      Greed
      Stupidity in Business
      Bailing out Stupidity in Business (oh wait, he has counted upon that in the past)
      Hatred
      Misogyny
      Sexism

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      TripMN, 31 Jan 2017 @ 5:59pm

      Re: You can do that?!

      Please guys, keep it in the realm of Tech.

      He needs to solve whether P = NP

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • icon
        Doug (profile), 1 Feb 2017 @ 5:20am

        Re: Re: You can do that?!

        You mean decide if P == NP, right?

        If P = NP, then P == NP by definition, unless you're running in parallel and assignment is not atomic. Then if P = NP we still need to decide if P == NP. Maybe what you really meant was NP = P. That would/could be good.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        • identicon
          TripMN, 1 Feb 2017 @ 5:45am

          Re: Re: Re: You can do that?!

          You are differing in assignment versus equality. I can quickly surmise you are a developer.

          I was using the mathematical equals which anyone who doesn't have a background that includes programming would read more naturally.

          But yes, your statement is correct.

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    David (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:47pm

    Cyber enemies list.

    Russia.
    China.
    North Korea.
    A few others, but those are the main players.

    Okay, that took 45 seconds. Damn, I should be famous.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Bamboo Harvester (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:36pm

      Re: Cyber enemies list.

      You forgot US Senate Aides....

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Ld Elon, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:36pm

      Re: Cyber enemies list.

      You forgot Britain, Israel, Turkey, Saudis, and France.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      That One Guy (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:44pm

      Re: Cyber enemies list.

      If you define 'enemies' not just as 'groups that would like to attack us' but 'and those that would like to make it easier for them to do so', you could tack on several USG agencies and more than a few politicians to that list too. Like say, anyone who advocates for crippling encryption.

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  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:53pm

    Not getting the Trump bashing

    The President's powers are limited.
    Unlike most politicians he is actually trying to do what he said he would do.

    Ordering any government agency to do anything within 60 days is like asking to move a mountain. But that just highlights how inefficient government is at doing anything. Maybe some changes could make government more efficient, maybe Trump is simply wasting paper, time will tell.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:42pm

      Re: Not getting the Trump bashing

      "Ordering any government agency to do anything within 60 days is like asking to move a mountain"

      I beg your pardon! I realize that it sometimes takes hours for the government to screw things up, but I'm absolutely certain, with a job this big, and this much pushing behind it, they can screw it up in seconds!

      Moving a mountain is easy. Finding that damned lever and a proper fulcrum are the parts that're a pain in the ass!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 7:08pm

      Re: Not getting the Trump bashing

      Whitewashing looks to be your calling, hope they pay you well.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Cowardly Lion, 1 Feb 2017 @ 1:12am

      Who gives a rat's ass whether you're getting the Trump bashing or not?

      I'm still waiting for his unscaleable wall, and for Mexico to pay for it, I'm still waiting for the DC swamp to be drained.

      President "grab 'em by the pussy" ran his mouth off before the vote. Now is when he gets to make good.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        GEM, 1 Feb 2017 @ 12:42pm

        Re: Who gives a rat's ass whether you're getting the Trump bashing or not?

        If he builds that 30 foot wall, I'm investing heavy into any manufacturer of 35 foot ladders.

        ---

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    GristleMissle, 31 Jan 2017 @ 12:53pm

    Give him a chance

    Clearly you all know nothing about security. Donald Trump has one of the best security advisors in the history of cybersecurity.

    There are few things that he will be incapable of doing. And this idea that you're pushing about how security is difficult to fix is absurd. Security is one of the easiest things to do when it comes to computers.

    What we need to do is all sit down like intelligent people and pick from this list below.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_antivirus_software

    Or better yet, I think it would be a good idea if Trump demanded that the tech companies write a new government approved piece of software and force that to be included in all new installs of computers.

    Done.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:35pm

      Re: Give him a chance

      Donald Trump has one of the best security advisors in the history of cybersecurity.

      You forgot the /s

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:12pm

    "Ignorant as a Child"

    That Chinese description of Trump's diplomacy "skills" can now be extended to include, well, pretty much everything else too. We have a 10 year-old helming our Ship of State.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:13pm

    Fake news.

    Not order, but draft.


    Not fix but provide recommendations.

    And yes, bezos disclaimer missing also. He stands to lose a few billion $$ a year he gets by postal service providing free express mail from China for Amazon small packages.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    aldestrawk (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:21pm

    the biggest vulnerability

    As I see it, the biggest vulnerability right now is that a hacker can start a trade war, or a real war, with a single tweet, That is, unless Trump beats them to it.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    USA Unite together, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:29pm

    TRUMP CAN DO IT-move that mountain, nothing to hard for him...American workers built Manhattan

    Getting the cooperation of the rest of government, not going to work since the downsizing, sabotaging, etc.
    TRUMP should do it again, "You're fire," and hire those dedicate hard workers who were let go from the last administration back with pay, benefits, all...
    a Unites States of American worker.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 3:25pm

      Re: TRUMP CAN DO IT-move that mountain, nothing to hard for him...American workers built Manhattan

      Actually I believe it was the Dutch who started the work.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    ECA (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:50pm

    corp MENTALITY

    FIX IT,
    FIX IT NOW..
    I dont have any idea HOW to do it..
    BUT, you FIX IT..

    Figure out HOW to deal with ISIS...
    there are a few ways..
    RESTRICT ALL ACCESS to ALL MUSLIM NATIONS..
    TAKE everyones pictures with TRUE ID, and place it in a data base..(sounds like drivers lic/ID cards)

    PUT UP A FENCE..monitor ALL BORDER(hmm, (Sounds like No mans land in Korea)

    BOMB EVERYTHING...and piss off every other Muslim and other religions in the Area..(hmm, sounds like Vietnam)

    HOW about the Mexican Fence...you REALLY want to IMPACT CORPS in the USA?? DROP all tariffs, and FORCE CORPS to only CHARGE EQUAL PRICES for the goods...it would PISS THEM ALL OFF..Paying for a Headlight system at $200-300 and marking it down to $50 would REALLY put a dent in CORPS ideas..

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Not.You, 31 Jan 2017 @ 1:53pm

    I have the plan Trump is looking for

    It's so damn simple even Trump will comprehend it.

    1) Kill all of the members of ISIS

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Daydream, 31 Jan 2017 @ 5:00pm

      Re: I have the plan Trump is looking for

      It's a bit more complicated then that.
      If you have that as step 1, then:

      2) Kill everyone who was providing material support to ISIS.

      3) Kill everyone with views and beliefs similar or identical to those of ISIS (to be identified by prediction software).

      4) Kill everyone who protests against the previous killings, they're probably sympathizers (again, identify targets using prediction algorithms).

      5) Repeat Step 4 ad infinitum until there are no more targets.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      GEMont, 1 Feb 2017 @ 12:56pm

      Re: I have the plan Trump is looking for

      Not a good plan.

      Most of the ISIS members who wear masks are actually White Rental Mercenaries and US Corporate Kill Squads, and killing them all would place ISIS squarely at the feet of The 5 Eyes nations where they actually live. That would be bad PR.

      ISIS is the Boogeyman. If you kill the Bogeyman, you remove the thing that creates fear among your peasants.

      If your peasants are not afraid, they will become overly interested in exactly how their peace-time taxes are spent by those who are trusted with such things.

      That would be bad for the billionaires.

      When they are frightened, like in times of war, they never question where their taxes are spent. Status Quo restored. Rich richer, and poor fukt.

      ---

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    shanen (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 2:15pm

    Spelling error in headline: It's "the Siber".

    As in the Siberian candidate.

    You thought Trump was having trouble understanding and saying "the cyber". Not at all. Just his terror of the Freudian slip.

    Give my love to Putin, eh?

    P.S. I'm not saying that Comey is a Russian mole. I'm saying that there is a high probability that there is at least one mole in the FBI office in NYC and you should start looking in the cabal of FBI agents who threatened Comey back in October... And have a super-nice day!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 3:01pm

    We all know how this is going to end....

    People with a realistic understanding of the subject and the problems that needs to be faced, will give a realistic estimate of a timeframe and which goals that is damaging or downright impossible to accomplish.
    People that want to keep their jobs and get promotions regardless of their professional integrity (and people who call it "the cyber") will give a plan they think will please with unrealistic estimates, damaging practices and a solid plan for completely destroying what is left...
    Guess who will be getting a raise and who will be listened to.

    Looking at it with an understanding of the subject and from outside the US, it seems to be a very scary time we are facing in IT.
    As with Trump and his other policies, I really hope that I will be proven the fool and somehow it will turn out to be good ideas. If that day comes I will be glad to admit my faulty viewpoint and wear a big sign that tells everyone that I was wrong, because being right in these cases, is so much worse.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    withersteen (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 3:02pm

    Over-promis, under-deliver. It will be pure luck if he can improve on anything Obama did. But, Trumpkins will take all the credit he can and none of the blame. Get used to it.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Lawrence D’Oliveiro, 31 Jan 2017 @ 3:38pm

    Seems Like This Has Been Canned

    The Register is reporting that Trump’s signing of this Executive Order has been cancelled.

    Maybe somebody has finally found a big enough clue-bat...

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 3:45pm

    Did anyone actually read the order?

    I did. And speaking as someone who has been doing security since DARPA days, it's a hot mess. It reads as if someone made a list of every buzzword, then attempted to ensure that they used all of them at least one time in the document. Most of it makes no sense at all. Some of it is absurd.

    Here's an example: "A review of the principal U.S. cyber adversaries (Adversaries Review) shall commence immediately".

    I have no idea what that means, because I don't know what a cyber adversary is or how we're supposed to determine who they are. A decent argument could be made that MI6 is a "cyber adversary" since they spy on the US just like every other nation with the capability does. But since they're a political, military, and economic ally...are they an adversary?

    Attribution is hard. REALLY hard. Even when there are obvious clues, it's still hard -- because it's trivial to plant those. We don't actually know who the really good adversaries are because they're the ones we can't identify. And while the three-letter agencies may think they know: I sincerely doubt it. (Consider: countries infiltrate each other's intelligence agencies routinely. So if there's a hack that appears to be coming from China, is it Chinese intelligence or a plant in Chinese intelligence?)

    The reports that are generated as a result of this order are going to the same kind of word salad with a generous topping of platitudes and generic recommendations, because to actually, seriously tackle the problem of figuring out who the adversaries are is a 10-year project. So nobody's going to do that. They're going to spout the usual BS and maybe make some stuff up.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    neo anderson says, 31 Jan 2017 @ 4:57pm

    except a day on pluto is about 50 years

    so not to worry a day on pluto is a long long time

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 5:46pm

    No, you see, Trump's got this guy named Not Sure... and he's going to fix The Cyber in ONE WEEK.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Roger Strong (profile), 31 Jan 2017 @ 8:43pm

    It's a shame no previous presidents had the forethought to demand a plan to defeat ISIS

    Some perspective: Trump just fixed the F-35.

    Before Trump's inauguration:

    The F-35! It’s “not very good!” It’s “out of control!” It’s comes at a “tremendous cost!”

    10 days after Trump's inauguration:

    The F-35 fighter jet — a great plane by the way, I have to tell you, and Lockheed is doing a very good job as of now,” Trump said Monday at a meeting with small business leaders at the White House. “There were great delays, about seven years of delays, tremendous cost overruns. We’ve ended all of that and we’ve got that program really, really now in good shape, so I’m very proud of that.”

    He'll defeat ISIS the same way. By tweeting that he's done so.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Jan 2017 @ 9:33pm

    Ban windows

    1)fix cyber
    2)ban windows
    3)fix all other problems

    sorry

    1)do nothing real
    2)??
    3)profit!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Dazed and confused, 31 Jan 2017 @ 10:48pm

    Maybe everyone should just acquiesce to bureaucrats

    The reason people think this is hard is they've swallowed the lie that bureaucrats have been feeding them for the last several decades.

    There was a time in this nation when hard problems were just SOLVED. People got off their asses and did something instead of passing around some memos and declarations and wondering who was going to actually take care of things.

    This guy may be crazy, but telling Washington to get off their asses and fix stuff THEY KNOW IS BROKEN, with consequences for them personally if they don't sounds like a damn good idea to me.

    I work in IT, I know you can't wave a wand and fix this stuff, but the answer IS NOT "it hard, we have think 'bout 'pooter too much to make safe' sitting on their thumbs. This stuff does NOT fix itself.

    The private sector sees a security problem? They fix it like their asses and hair are on fire. The US Gov't sees a security problem, they argue who gets to be the boss over the project and allow for a 10 year bid process. If they can build surveillance systems quickly that adapt to the modern computing environment regularly, they can sure damn fix the stuff they have. It's a matter of motivation.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Lawrence D’Oliveiro, 31 Jan 2017 @ 10:59pm

      Re: There was a time in this nation when hard problems were just SOLVED.

      When was that, exactly?

      Was the 2008 financial crisis just SOLVED?

      Was Israel just SOLVED?

      Was civil rights just SOLVED?

      Was the Vietnam War just SOLVED? Or did the US basically give up?

      Was the Korean War just SOLVED? Or is it in fact technically still in progress?

      Was the Depression just SOLVED?

      Please let me know when you think this wonderful time was.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 6 Feb 2017 @ 7:38am

    Fix copyright.

    Fix climate change.

    Fix corruption.

    Fix capitalism.

    Good luck with that, especially the latter.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    AnonCow, 25 Feb 2017 @ 8:48pm

    Three step description of the Trump administration

    1.) Draft executive order

    2.) ???????

    3.) Profit

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


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