FBI Lowers Hiring Standards To Approve Applicants Who Admit To Having Sex With Animals
from the lots-of-staffing-for-'field'-offices dept
As the Trump administration continues to chase away actual talent in order to staff federal agencies with loyalists and/or people who don’t know any better, it has had to lower hiring standards to keep the federal cupboards stocked.
ICE went on a hiring surge following the imposition of impossible arrest quotas and a few billion tax dollars. To keep ICE staffing at the level required to arrest 1,500-3,000 non-criminals a day, ICE had to lower its standards and drastically reduce the amount of training these new officers — many who were promised $50,000 signing bonuses — received.
The combination of bonuses and lowered standards not only saw ICE cannibalizing US law enforcement agencies, but also belatedly discovering that a lot of applicants weren’t even capable of meeting standards so low they had to trip over them.
The same thing is now happening at the FBI. Plenty of talent has fled/been bled since Trump took office for the second time. A large percentage of the remaining workforce has been tasked with providing support for Trump’s mass deportation efforts, which means there’s barely anyone left to do the work that still needs to be done by the FBI.
The standards have been lowered at the FBI. And the new standards are so low, they’d possibly even embarrass ICE HR personnel, as CBS News reports:
The FBI previously refused to hire job applicants if they admitted to hiring sex workers or stealing from an employer — or engaging in acts of bestiality.
[…]
In June, the FBI quietly lowered some of the standards it uses when it conducts background checks on would-be federal agents and other personnel. According to multiple sources briefed on the matter, the FBI did so to facilitate hiring in some cases, even if candidates acknowledged they engaged in sexually deviant activities or stole from an employer.
Um…
Well, I’m not going to insult sex workers or sex purchasers, so long as everything is consensual. That this remains a criminal act in most places in the nation is a failure of policy, rather than a leading indicator of criminal proclivity.
But then we have to move on to the other stuff. Stealing from employers tends to be a deal breaker for new hires across both the public and private sector. And you would think an agency with plenty of expensive/sensitive stuff in its possession would be more wary than most when it comes to admissions of theft from former employers.
And that’s probably going to be a problem for the FBI as it moves forward with these relaxed-to-the-point-of-comatose standards.
But it is weirdly specific that the FBI has decided to soften its stance on bestiality. I mean, the FBI wouldn’t be removing this standard if it was such a rare occurrence that it rarely prevented securing a new hire. That it’s being removed now strongly suggests the FBI is being prevented from hiring a lot of… shall we say… otherwise qualified candidates.
It also says something about the hiring pool, which must be loaded with bodily fluids and animal hair. I have never been asked specifically about my animal-fucking activities when applying for any job during my past 33 years of full-time employment. It says something about the FBI that this question even needs to be asked, even indirectly. And it says something else entirely about the FBI now that it’s decided being charged or convicted for bestiality is no longer worrying enough to take a hard pass on a candidate.
That being said, there’s something about the FBI’s new hiring standards that actually suggest it might be willing to forgive and forget, which isn’t a bad thing.
The new standards also specifically address applicants who have engaged in past acts of bestiality or animal cruelty – saying they may still be considered for the bureau as long as the incidents took place before the age of 18, the sources said.
So, it’s not as immediately disturbing as it first appears, although you’d still think the FBI would have enough qualified applicants that it could leave the “no bestiality” requirement in place, no matter what age the person was when they performed these acts. Also, it seems like a lifetime moratorium on animal cruelty convictions should probably remain in place, since those actions tend to predict future acts of violence and are generally (if not entirely factually) associated with, you know, serial killers.
The caveats make this less awful than my headline would suggest. But, on the other hand, we expect federal agencies to hire the “best of the best” because they’re supposed to be the ne plus ultra of law enforcement. Under this administration, though, we’re apparently willing to settle for anyone who can fog a mirror.
Filed Under: bestiality, doj, fbi, kash patel, lowering standards, moral turpitude ftw, party of law and order, trump administration
