Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the chitter-chatter dept

This week, both our winners on the insightful side come in response to our post about Zoe Keating's detailed look at the problems with last year's Music Modernization Act and its impact on independent musicians. In first place, it's Rico R. highlighting how little many musicians even knew about what was happening:

I'm an independent musician, and this is the first time I'm hearing about this comment period on the Music Modernization Act, and it's almost over! I say this with the utmost respect, but if Techdirt, a non-major small-time news operation, is the first time I hear about a potentially troubling implementation of updated copyright law in a way that directly affects me, there's a major disconnect between legacy gatekeepers and actual creators. I have to wonder if legacy players are hoping that smaller independent artists (like myself) just don't do anything so they can make money off of works they don't own or represent. And they say that copyright law is designed to protect small creators like me? Yeah, right!!

In second place, it's Mason Wheeler with an opinion about word choice when describing how the new copyright process is designed to "help divert money to the big music publishers and away from independent artists":

"Divert."

As important as it is to call out publishing interests on their continuous abuse of the word "steal" WRT copyright infringement, it's equally important to apply it appropriately instead of using euphemisms. So let's call a spade a spade here: the process is rigged to allow big music publishers to steal money from independent artists. The NMPA has designed a system in which they get to take money that rightfully belongs to independent artists, and stuff their own pockets with it instead. That's legitimate theft.

For editor's choice on the insightful side, we've got a pair of comments about the idea that YouTube could moderate all its content. First up, it's Bamboo Harvester with a point about a key obstacle we didn't mention:

You missed...

...a big one. He's assuming all the video is in English.

You're not going to get multi-lingual reviewers for minimum wage.

This clown needs to see the team involved in a "live" (ten to thirty second transmission delay) TV broadcast.

Next, it's a response to that comment from JoeCool with even more to add:

It goes even further than that. Not only is the language an issue, but the content as well. Is this medical video okay, or is it endorsing snake oil? Is this engineering video okay, or is it con artists trying to sell a perpetual motion machine? Is this biography okay, or it is libelous/slanderous/defamation?

It goes on and on and on... you'll need at least as many experts on EVERY subject to sort and vet each video.

Over on the funny side, our first place winner is an anonymous response to a regular critic, regarding claims about leaving the comment section:

No, really, I'm seriously leaving this time.

Did you hear me? I'm leaving!

Just checking in. I wasn't sure if maybe the internet was out and you didn't see that I was leaving.

Guys, it's really difficult to feel self-important when you ignore how significant it is that I'm leaving.

You're all stupid poopyheads and I'm taking my ball and going home! Maybe.

In second place, it's renato with a response to the Tennessee sheriff who claimed his department uses an MRAP to protect children:

Finally someone has thought about the kids.

For editor's choice on the funny side, we start out with Bobvious, who responded to the proposal that the Right To Be Forgotten's alternative name could be the Right To Erasure:

Nominative Antonym: Right to be Streisanded.

(To be honest I'm not 100% sure what a nominative antonym is, and Googling just gets me lists of antonyms for the word "nominative", but right to be Streisanded is apt!)

And last but not least, we've got NoahVail with an alternative proposal to trying to force YouTube to moderate everything:

Baby steps

Before we leap into a huge endeavor like mods reviewing every upload, maybe we should trial the "Review Process" on a more reasonable scale.

I suggest having politicians read and understand every law, before they vote on it.

That's all for this week, folks!


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  • identicon
    Bobvious, 21 Apr 2019 @ 4:59pm

    Nominative antonym

    Googling just gets me lists of antonyms for the word "nominative"

    That's because Antony M. has pulled a Goolnik and gotten Google to forget all about Antony M. and his nominatives.

    Music Modernization Act

    As we well know, the MAFIAA hates the public domain, and because most public domain music is old and ancient, it is, by definition, NOT modern. Thus the Modernisation act is designed to prevent the transmission, re-use, re-working, etc. or hearing of, any NOT modern music. This would free up vast hours of radio playtime currently being wasted on "dinosaur" music that no-one else is PAYING for. Imagine all the bandwidth that could have been saved if people hadn't uploaded free OLD stuff to Youtube. Only gatekeeper-approved and financially regulated MODERN music shall exist.

    Imagine your relief at the mall at Xmas time, knowing that you won't be assaulted by wandering minstrels singing OLD stuff. You'll only hear MODERN and fee-paying TOTALLY ORIGINAL NEW Xmas carols like Ice Ice Baby, Jesus Walks, and Christmas in Harlem

    So let's call a spade a spade here

    https://youtu.be/YYpsz2eAKOs?t=148

    Is this engineering video okay, or is it con artists trying to sell a perpetual motion machine?

    I think we'd best not let the USPTO moderate those.

    You're not going to get multi-lingual reviewers for minimum wage.
    Especially if the CBP is stopping them from getting in.

    I suggest having politicians read and understand every law, before they vote on it.

    https://govtrackinsider.com/members-literally-dont-have-enough-time-to-read-some-bills-before-a-vot e-is-held-e8691c86c91d?gi=9bc3e9648e4c

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 21 Apr 2019 @ 5:35pm

      Re: Nominative antonym

      You're not going to get multi-lingual reviewers for minimum wage.
      Especially if the CBP is stopping them from getting in.

      As if they'd actually employ someone in the US to do this. Getting it right is impossible anyway, so it makes more sense to outsource this to a cheap country and let them fail at it than to pay a US resident to fail at it. As a bonus, when the moderators inevitably fail, the PR department can blame it on the use of poorly vetted subcontractors at the foreign sweatshop, the lack of the outsourced employees' understanding of US idioms, etc. Failure at the individual contributor level is unavoidable, but with proper planning, the corporate home office can be standing by to deflect blame onto an anonymous and unsympathetic Other.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Stephen T. Stone (profile), 21 Apr 2019 @ 9:14pm

      because most public domain music is old and ancient, it is, by definition, NOT modern

      This would not be a problem if copyright terms were still 28 years long instead of two lifetimes long.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • icon
        Scary Devil Monastery (profile), 23 Apr 2019 @ 6:08am

        Re:

        "This would not be a problem if copyright terms were still 28 years long instead of two lifetimes long."

        The problem would still exist. As long as copyright is a legal concept there will always be trolls willing to stake whatever money they can borrow, embezzle or outright steal into that one case that'll fund them for life.

        The conflicts are inherently built in when what the legislation refers to is, essentially, an intangible point of view.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Wolfie0827 (profile), 22 Apr 2019 @ 6:34am

      Re: Nominative antonym

      "I suggest having politicians read and understand every law, before they vote on it.

      https://govtrackinsider.com/members-literally-dont-have-enough-time-to-read-some-bills-before-a- vot e-is-held-e8691c86c91d?gi=9bc3e9648e4c"

      Members are too busy doping it up and hitting on teens in the restrooms to read most bills before a vote, Hell some are too busy doing the above to even vote!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 5:49pm

      Re: Nominative antonym

      ...only gatekeeper-approved and financially regulated MODERN music shall exist..

      That is the sickest shit. Hope that doesn't happen. There is always the Boston Tea Party approach to that crime.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 21 Apr 2019 @ 5:40pm

    So am I the only one who thinks Zof is Jhon Smith with an account?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
      identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 21 Apr 2019 @ 6:53pm

      Re:

      No you’re not the only one, I think so too. And I think PaulT is a lady from the UK. Nobody here is who they say they are. That’s a key tool of the Internet - lying about who you are. It’s used over and over again and again on site after site.

      Did you see AOC accusing Nunes of having a “million bot” gang programmed to attack her? WHere do you think she got that idea from, she’s too stupid to think it up herself. There are lots phony posters in nearly every medium, how could there not be, with no accountability at all?

      The left relies on lies and deceit to promote their messages, because they could never withstand even a little legitimate scrutiny. “If you can’t compete with free, maybe you can’t compete at all”. What total horse shit. The truth is “if you don’t WANT to compete with free, build a better product and PROTECT IT with copyright, patent, trade secret and trade mark. That’s the American way!

      Just look at the Mueller report to see how pathetic their arguments are. They’re all just liars, leakers and criminals, small or large.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • icon
        Matthew Cline (profile), 21 Apr 2019 @ 8:32pm

        Re: Re:

        Are you suggesting that online anonymity be prohibited, so you can always know exactly who any commenter is?

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
          identicon
          Anonymous Coward, 21 Apr 2019 @ 8:43pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          You are asking about a solution to the problem of fake people with fake opinions marketed as real news but actually being fake news, like Techdirt. The solution is likely complex, maybe worse than the problem. I’m not sure. Do you have an idea, or are you fine with deceptive sites like this one?

          Have you considered how your opinion might change if Techdirt named you personally, or named your family or business personally, and attacked it with fake facts and fake comments?

          What do you think?

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

          • identicon
            Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 12:14am

            Re: Fake Indian scalps real Indian

            Bro I can’t wait for the real Hamilton to be unmasked like the third rate Scooby Doo villain he is.

            reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

          • identicon
            Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 12:18am

            Re: Re: Re: Re:

            I wouldn't worry.

            According to Techdirt's critics, this website has a constantly decreasing readership and is run by idiots who aren't taken seriously in mainstream journalism. Since this website's detractors themselves indicate Techdirt has no influencing power whatsoever I have nothing to worry about.

            Unless, of course, those critics were lying?

            reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

            • identicon
              Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 5:56pm

              Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

              Techdirt gets read in the oval office.. what are you talking about?

              reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

              • identicon
                Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 10:20pm

                Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

                I'm talking about all the times John Smith and Hamilton proudly proclaimed that "Masnick isn't a real journalist" and "this site is a cesspool nobody reads", or some variant thereof.

                Search for them yourself. I'm not doing your homework for you.

                reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        • icon
          Stephen T. Stone (profile), 21 Apr 2019 @ 9:09pm

          Given how Hamilton enjoys (relative) anonymity on this site, I doubt he is suggesting that.

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

          • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
            identicon
            Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 2:07am

            Re:

            Give all the power to the many, they will oppress the few. Give all the power to the few, they will oppress the many.

            reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 12:12am

        Re: 3.4%

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 3:34am

    Nominative Antonym: Right to be Streisanded.

    I love it! And the way Mike always tags these articles with multiple repetitions of Thomas Goolnik's trochaic name... it inspired me. So, to the tune of Beethoven's Ode to Joy:

    Thomas Goolnik, Thomas Goolnik,

    Thomas Goolnik, Goolnik, Tom,

    thinks that he should be forgotten,

    but our memory lives on!

    He's too rotten to be forgotten,

    won't be forgotten, Goolnik, Tom!

    Thomas Goolnik, Thomas Goolnik,

    Thomas Goolnik, Goolnik, Tom!


    There's no right to be forgotten,

    not here in the USA!

    He can file his bogus takedowns,

    but his past won't go away!

    He's too rotten to be forgotten,

    won't be forgotten, Goolnik, Tom!

    Thomas Goolnik, Thomas Goolnik,

    Thomas Goolnik, Goolnik, Tom!


    There's no right to be forgotten,

    such a thing does not exist!

    All it does is call attention

    to it, and get people pissed.

    He's too rotten to be forgotten,

    won't be forgotten, Goolnik, Tom!

    Thomas Goolnik, Thomas Goolnik,

    Thomas Goolnik, Goolnik, Tom!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 6:04am

      Re:

      (C) Copyright 2019 by Hamilton, All Rights Reserved.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Mason Wheeler (profile), 22 Apr 2019 @ 7:06am

      Re:

      Gah! I read this and imagine a big choir just belting it out in full voice, and now I just know it's going to be stuck in my head all day. Thanks a lot!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 7:52am

        Re: Re:

        It really is pretty good. A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        • identicon
          Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 6:04pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          Once I was screwing sheetrock to a bathroom wall in a newly constructed lavish home. I hit the cold water inlet pipe. Screw went right into the pipe. Plumber came in sweated another pipe and I hung another piece of sheetrock and, damn, I screwed another screw into that pipe.. The plumber came in and sweated another pipe into place. And FUCK if I didn't hit that 3/4 inch copper pipe dead on a third Time!! People were just completely baffled at that! Thought I would share that!

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Mason Wheeler (profile), 22 Apr 2019 @ 12:21pm

      Re:

      What the heck?!? How did this get flagged? My joking complaint notwithstanding, this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in TD comments.

      Hey Mike, I think Thomas Goolnik himself must be actually lurking around here or something, as I don't see any reason anyone else would find it objectionable!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 22 Apr 2019 @ 6:10pm

        Re: Re:

        No, you must have embarrassed the google roaming search bots. It has omniprescence and onnipotence to hit that TD flag in a multi burst.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    FlatZOut (profile), 23 Apr 2019 @ 12:54pm

    If We Have Funniest/Insightful Comments of the Week, We Can Add:

    Funniest/Insightful Comments of the Month
    -Take the Most Insightful/Funny Comments from each week and see which one was the most Insightful/Funniest comment of the month

    Unless of course this is already a thing and I’m just stupid.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


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