Bakery Creates TSA-Safe Cupcakes After TSA Defends Its Confiscation Of 'Dangerous' Cupcakes

from the at-least-those-terrorists-won't-get-fat dept

While the TSA continues to not catch terrorists, it is catching flak for its decision last month to confiscate a cupcake. Even more bizarre, the TSA is continuing to defend the confiscation, claiming that since this cupcake was in a jar it meant that the frosting was considered a gel and subject to the totally silly and pointless 3 oz. rule.
I wanted to make it clear that this wasn’t your everyday, run-of-the-mill cupcake. If you’re not familiar with it, we have a policy directly related to the UK liquid bomb plot of 2006 called 3-1-1 that limits the amount of liquids, gels and aerosols you can bring in your carry-on luggage. Icing falls under the “gel” category. As you can see from the picture, unlike a thin layer of icing that resides on the top of most cupcakes, this cupcake had a thick layer of icing inside a jar.

In general, cakes and pies are allowed in carry-on luggage, however, the officer in this case used their discretion on whether or not to allow the newfangled modern take on a cupcake per 3-1-1 guidelines. They chose not to let it go.
Or maybe they were just hungry. Either way, rest assured that terrorists who get through security won't be able to get fat on cupcakes.

Or... maybe they can. A bakery in Rhode Island, picking up on this ridiculousness and sensing a marketing opportunity, is now offering a TSA-complaint cupcake, complete with exactly 3 oz. of frosting... a plastic baggie, and a faux boarding pass declaring compliance:
Yes, there's now a dessert menu for your airport security theater...


Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 9:45am

    I feel so much safer that I know the TSA is now fighting the bad health caused by junk food. This serves to balance out any bad health caused by their x-ray scanners.

     

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  2.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 9:50am

    More companies should do this, it will wake up the sheep and also poke fun at (and draw attention to, hopefully logic as well) the TSA's policies.

    Common sense isn't that common, so they say, and clearly that applies to the TSA!

     

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  3.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 9:58am

    Also, I'm surprised these cup cakes have received TSA approval so soon. Usually such approval takes a number of years.

    First they must conduct clinical trials on the flammability of the cup cakes. If that passes, they must then inspect all ingredients to make sure that the cupcakes can't be used as a weapon. They must make sure that it won't release any toxic chemicals or fumes before and after being ignited, that it doesn't contain any infectious diseases, that there aren't any explosives hidden inside them, and they must finally ensure that the cup cakes aren't a hazard in case they get messy and wind up on the floor. Wouldn't want anyone slipping and falling. One other thing, they must make sure that there aren't any strong chemicals that can burn through the airplane enclosure and cause a hole.

    When it's all said and done the average muffin can cost up to $16 after approval.

     

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  4.  
    icon
    weneedhelp (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:00am

    That damn cupcake just looks like trouble. It's up to something. Phew! I am sure glad the TSA stopped that rouge cupcake from starting trouble. Scary thing is we just dont know how many more cupcakes are plotting against us as we speak. An all out ban on cupcakes needs too be applied, and the current cupcakes out there need to be rounded up and shipped off to Gitmo for "interrogation" (wink wink) to get the other cupcakes that hate our way of life.

     

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  5.  
    icon
    Hephaestus (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:04am

    Re:

    I think we should nominate all TSA workers for the Darwin award. After all a sizable chunk of them will be dead of cancer in a couple years.

     

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  6.  
    icon
    Hephaestus (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:07am

    Re:

    "Scary thing is we just dont know how many more cupcakes are plotting against us as we speak."

    It's not the cupcakes you should be worried about. It's those damn doughnuts hiding 3.25 ounces of jelly inside.

     

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  7.  
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    Ninja (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:15am

    Instant sales hit! Still, these little things are so delicious that they may cause a pandemonium inside the plane when hungry passengers go wild over the sweet scent of said cupcakes. What you don't see, Mike, is that the potential of turning law abiding citizens into dangerous wild beasts that may jeopardize the plane security is what is in check here. Confiscate each an any cupcake is yet another great service offered by TSA (along with sexual stimulation, cavity exams and other useful and delighting offerings).

     

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  8.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:18am

    must have been a 'sweet bust' for this agent!

     

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  9.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:23am

    Re: Re:

    It's all that sugar, it's killing our nation.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  10.  
    icon
    weneedhelp (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:25am

    Re:

    'sweet bust' - No. Those are in the backscatter viewing room.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  11.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:37am

    Re:

    Hey, in all seriousness though, sometimes the boogeyman likes to disguise himself as a harmless little cupcake.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  12.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:37am

    Is that Nixon on the picture?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  13.  
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    Chronno S. Trigger (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:42am

    Re:

    It's a play on the "I am not a crook" joke.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  14.  
    identicon
    Coco Was Screwed, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:44am

    As ridiculous as I think the TSA is, if you actually look at what the traveler tried to bring on board, you would understand. It was not a cupcake "placed" in a jar, it was a jar filled to the brim with the components of a cupcake. How would anybody that has traveled in the current climate think that this would make it through?

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PWfP0cH2h1c/Tws7muR_06I/AAAAAAAAAwg/o5WGF6hp6Hc/s1600/Cupcake+ Comparison.JPG

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  15.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:48am

    Hmmmmm....terroific.....ggaaaaaahh.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  16.  
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    Kevin H (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:49am

    What would happen?

    Take on of these cupcakes (in baggy) to an airport. Set it on the Xray bins so carefully as though it were made of pure nitro glycerin. When they look at you with a raised brow simply smile and say that you are trying to keep the wonderful icing job intact. At the other end pick it up just as carefully.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  17.  
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    Kevin H (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:50am

    Re:

    Ask him to take a bite and smell the sweet peanut butter aroma. The only threat this poses is to someones diet.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  18.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:51am

    Re:

    You know, come to think of it, these TSA approved muffins aren't safe at all. Don't be fooled by their harmless appearance. It's all theatrics. It seems like the TSA will approve anything these days. They're getting reckless.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  19.  
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    Overcast (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:56am

    Totally Stupid Assholes.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  20.  
    icon
    Robert Doyle (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:57am

    Re:

    Actually... they seem to wield a significant amount of authority - I bet if we just broadened the legislation to modify their duties to take place in any place, not just on roads, sidewalks, ports, airport, bus depots, express checkout lane in grocery stores and probably a couple I missed, I bet they could make sure people do the right thing. All the time. Everywhere. In complete compliance.

    They could make sure people use the appropriate amount of toilet paper, chew the right number of times and even brush in the proper fashion!

    I think we are on to something here.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  21.  
    icon
    Oblate (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 10:58am

    Quoth TFA:
    ---
    Rebecca Hains said she was going through security at the airport in Las Vegas when a TSA agent pulled her aside and said the cupcake frosting was "gel-like" enough to constitute a security risk. (Source: WCVB/CNN)
    ---
    What about the security risk constituted by the "gel-like" substance rattling around in the skull of that TSA agent? I guess since the agent wasn't going on the plane it's not considered dangerous?

    I hope they rendered the cupcake inedible before they left, as I too get the impression the agent was just looking for a free dessert.

     

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  22.  
    icon
    Ninja (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:02am

    Re:

    Ok, lemme think. Cupcake, kid. Terrorist plot. Makes sense. Couldn't you open the thing and SMELL it?

    We have brains to analyze the situation and take the proper procedure.

    Just because your GPS tells you to drive of a cliff it doesn't mean you will do it. You'll use your brain and find some alternative like a bridge or a way to go down the cliff then up at the other side.

    Seems brains is not the strong trait in TSA agents.

     

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  23.  
    icon
    Berenerd (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:04am

    Mmmmmm...cupcakes...

    They are actually good...expecive...but good. They will be testing their ability later this month by taking them on vacation with the owner and going through TSA at TFGreen in RI. Talking to people that work there (I heard about this a week ago or late last week i think? I stopped this morning to get one on the way to work.) They sold out the first day and they have had a hard time keeping them on the shelf. I had no idea people wanted cupcakes on their flight

     

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  24.  
    icon
    Chris (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:04am

    Better watch out

    That bakery better watch out before they get labeled a terrorist for making fake boarding passes.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  25.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:08am

    I can see it now, some performance artist group will probably coordinate a gathering where they simultaneously leave 1000+ cupcakes or more sitting unattended all over the place in a busy airport terminal and then simply walk away.

    LOL

    You have to admit, THAT would be AWESOME!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  26.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:12am

    Since it's possible to kill a man with just two fingers, I wonder how long it will be till the TSA starts conficating passengers hands.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  27.  
    icon
    Trails (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:12am

    OH MY GOD, SOMETHING NEW!!!

    The TSA's defence amounted to "Agent didn't know what it was, so he blocked it". It's a valid defense given their strategy. Unfortunately their strategy is moronic. It's stopgap measures meant to stop the last threat averted through dumb luck rather than investigative work.

    "Richard Reid hid a bomb in his shoe, make 'em take off their shoes! Some idiots had some harebrained impractical half-baked plan (which never would have worked) to mix liquids into a bomb based on a Die Hard movie, no more liquids! Some guy tried to hide a bomb in his junk, but just turned himself into a eunuch through our dumb luck, get some nekkid scanners!"

    It's a reactive, whack-a-mole approach and it's trivially easy for any terrorist smarter than Gomer Pile to circumvent.

    TSA should be run by terrorism experts and detectives, instead it's seemingly run by mall cops.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  28.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:14am

    TSA

    Does anyone else think that the TSA agent ate the cupcake? There is a scientific way to see if I'm correct, a cooked chocolate frosting using Exlax should do it.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  29.  
    icon
    Chronno S. Trigger (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:17am

    Re: Re:

    I wouldn't be using GPS as a marker of human intelligence.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  30.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:18am

    the cupcake is not a lie

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  31.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:27am

    Re: Re:

    Total Safety Administration!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  32.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:29am

    Re: TSA

    I think you are correct, Obviously the TSA agent was high on drugs, and had the munchies.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  33.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:30am

    Re:

    So, the minute you stuff devils food cake into a jar with some frosting at the top it becomes a safety concern?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  34.  
    icon
    Atkray (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:43am

    Re: What would happen?

    Go ahead and try it. I double dog dare you.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  35.  
    identicon
    YouMother, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:45am

    Re:

    Phew! I am sure glad the TSA stopped that rouge cupcake from starting trouble.

    I'd suggest you start with a dictionary since that seems to be the help you need most.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  36.  
    icon
    Atkray (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 11:47am

    Re: OH MY GOD, SOMETHING NEW!!!

    The cops at my mall can run (comes from chasing those pesky skateboarders) I think the average TSA employee would struggle to run 5 meters (comes from eating cupcakes).

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  37.  
    icon
    Violated (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 12:08pm

    Commonsense Obmitted

    I always wonder why they simple don't use common sense.

    Like at the airport you can buy a bottle of drink but due to rush you can leave it unopened and it gets seized. No matter you have the purchase receipt, it is still sealed, and the sales lady can testify you just purchased it.

    I suspect they may give to back to the airport shop to sell to the next "mug"

    The obvious way to tell this liquid is what it is would be to open the bottle and smell the contents. I am sure most of us know what water or fizzy orange smells like. Most forms of chemicals and explosives would also stand out.

    Then in any unfamiliar liquid doubt they can have the passenger drink some when their reaction would be quite telling.

    Instead what do we have... The demon cupcake.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  38.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 12:12pm

    Re:

    I don't know about hands, but plenty of travelers are more than willing to give them one finger.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  39.  
    icon
    Beta (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 12:18pm

    Re:

    I imagined a bomb squad in full armor creeping up on a cupcake in an evacuated concourse-- then the laugh caught in my throat when I remembered how the Boston police panicked over some silly little light displays, and Logan Airport security tackled a girl because she had some LEDs on her jacket. In both cases the authorities closed ranks and defended their infantile behavior. And some in the public supported them.

    Now I just feel embarrassed for my country.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  40.  
    icon
    Trails (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 12:28pm

    Re:

    My god, he's got food in a jar, run!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  41.  
    icon
    Beta (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 12:31pm

    opportunity

    Instead of trying to get publicity with a TSA-compliant cupcake,...

    Imagine an advertising campaign for cupcakes that terrify the TSA! Big yummy cupcakes with mounds of icing, Arabic script and/or "wiring" in ganache, "Death By Chocolate", "Allah Ak-Berry", "Sweet Revenge". Television spots with stupid, arrogant TSA bullies running in panic from a pretty girl with gorgeous baked goods (by which I mean cupcakes -- by which I mean actual cupcakes). Oh, this could work...

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  42.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 12:41pm

    Boot on the Face of Cupcakes...

    Funny and sad story, this is just another step toward the edge.

    Wait until the TSA randomly stops you and searched your car.
    http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20111020/11465616440/tsa-decides-terrorists-must-be-driving-partn ers-with-tenn-law-enforcement-to-randomly-search-vehicles.shtml

    TSA = Totalitarians Shoving Authoritarianism

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  43.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 12:56pm

    Re: Commonsense Obmitted

    Common sense isn't very common. Look at congress, not that they are a cross section of the population, but they ARE representatives.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  44.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 12:57pm

    Re:

    "As ridiculous as I think the TSA is, if you actually look at what the traveler tried to bring on board, you would understand. It was not a cupcake "placed" in a jar, it was a jar filled to the brim with the components of a cupcake. How would anybody that has traveled in the current climate think that this would make it through?"

    I'm sorry.
    It's still ridiculous.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  45.  
    icon
    Gracey (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 1:16pm

    OMG...now it's the cupcake bomb.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  46.  
    icon
    Dolz (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 1:20pm

    Re:

    Oh my gosh cupcakes are everywhere. The American way of life has already been lost to the terrorist organizations Hostess and Dolly Madison (Charlie Brown was a sleeper agent).

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  47.  
    icon
    DOlz (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 1:22pm

    Re: Re:

    Maybe it was red velvet cake?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  48.  
    identicon
    wec, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 1:35pm

    How did he determine the weight of the icing?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  49.  
    identicon
    Lawrence D'Oliveiro, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 2:05pm

    Re: not a cupcake "placed" in a jar, it was a jar filled to the brim with the components of a cupcake

    Of course! Not a cupcake, but COMPONENTS of a cupcake! And why would anyone want to bring the COMPONENTS of a cupcake on board a plane, unless they were terrorists planning to secretly assemble it into a ... cupcake?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  50.  
    icon
    MahaliaShere (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 2:06pm

    Over a cupcake???

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  51.  
    icon
    Thomas (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 2:52pm

    TSA needs..

    the food - their salaries don't cover their lunch, so they need to confiscate food from people traveling. That's also why they lift money from carry-ons and checked baggage - they don't get paid enough. Aside from not being paid enough working for TSA can be great - free food, you get to fondle teenagers, you pick up tips on the side.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  52.  
    icon
    fb39ca4 (profile), Jan 17th, 2012 @ 4:43pm

    The TSA agents will just get hungry and confiscate them anyways.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  53.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 5:56pm

    Re: Re:

    make sure you have an appropriate amount of mourning should Glorious Leader pass away

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  54.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 6:15pm

    Re: Commonsense Omitted

    Not liquids, usually, but still: Carbon Monoxide, Carbon Dioxide and Oxygen are all clear and odorless, but one is toxic to humans in low amounts, one only causes problems in high amounts, and the other is neccessary for human life, and yet still toxic in high enough concentrations.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  55.  
    identicon
    Ducksfeet, Jan 17th, 2012 @ 7:27pm

    Cupcake Stuffer

    Yes I had a job once when working at this famous Hotel known for it's pastries and cakes.Now being the one to to put icing on the cake my duties went a little farther by pumping icing into the cupcake.Now that it is known and recorded will my name show up on the know fly list as a terrorist or will I be pictured in Hustler for defilling
    a cupcake.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  56.  
    icon
    Ninja (profile), Jan 18th, 2012 @ 8:38am

    Re: Re: Re:

    That's precisely what I'm talking about. Use your brains and you'll notice there's something wrong with the GPS directions. I take everything, including GPS, with a grain of brains. Can't go wrong.

    The TSA often forget to use their brains.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  57.  
    identicon
    How to Make a Cake, Mar 21st, 2012 @ 9:31am

    Haha, thats hilarious. Linsey from how to make a cake

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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