McGyver’s Techdirt Profile


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  • Jul 20th, 2021 @ 9:13am

    Good for them…

    I used to be concerned about scammers ripping off people and selling dangerous products and shady cures…
    But… I dunno about that concern anymore with this lot.
    The MAGA crowd are so determined to drag everyone to hell with them, I kinda don’t really have ANY sympathy for them… they beg to be ripped off by their willful blindness and quadrupling down on stupidity… they revel in their stupidity and are proud of it.
    I almost want to applaud the scammers because these fools are literally lining up to be fleeced, so why not give them what they want?
    Isn’t that what they themselves keep crowing about?… a free market with NO rules and zero regulations or responsibility?
    So… fuck em.
    They are so aggressively stupid they are fighting to get infected with a highly transmissible virus, which has a readily available vaccine… but they want to only follow their MAGA celebrities advice and reject it… despite the fact that most if not all of these celebrities have been quietly vaccinated themselves regardless of their rhetoric.
    I stopped being concerned when it involves the MAGA folks wellbeing… They are right up there with suicide bombers as far as I’m concerned… they want the world to burn if they can’t have it their way and they only care about winning not how much carnage they cause.
    The whole conservative movement has been a complete and total scam from day one, a way of getting stupid people to hand over their money and rights so their “team” can win.
    If I had far less ethnics and self respect I’d happily join the grift because it’s just super easy money they want to give you for telling them what they want to believe…
    If someone wants to give you a $100 to tell them their shirt looks nice, would you turn it down?
    I don’t honestly blame the scammers, it’s easy money from easy marks.
    I know that all sounds cruel or heartless, but how much sympathy can you have for people who have no concern for anyone else and continually keep acting against their own self interests?

  • Jul 11th, 2021 @ 7:21pm

    No thanks…

    Nobody wants a game to have ads, nothing they are going to offer will compensate for the interruption.
    Maybe in the beginning they will offer something vaguely interesting, yet useless, but I can guarantee that will evaporate once idiots accept ads in games, then you’ll get nothing in return and be paying to be interrupted by ads…
    Just say NO.
    The most I’d accept would be in open world sandbox games where billboards or signs and posters would be for real life companies… that’s it, because just like in real life, you can ignore it if you chose, otherwise anything that I HAVE to pay attention to is a dealbreaker.
    And you know it will all quickly devolve into a crap fest of stupid and repetitive ads.
    Ad people don’t know when to quit or enough is enough.
    No, just no thanks X10,000,000,000

  • Feb 3rd, 2021 @ 6:17am

    Free plot for your next indy flick...

    Hapless character accidentally gets super powers, goes around saving people and thwarting crime but accidentally reveals secret identity and then receives multiple cease and desist orders and theft of intellectual property lawsuits from multiple mega corporations because the concept of being a super hero was their idea first and is confusing their customer base... character is sued into oblivion and retires a broken person... until a crisis arises... will they rise to the challenge?
    Who cares, not my problem...

    Also I fully expect someone to cite multiple stories and comics where that was the plot.

    Corporate greed- Why we can’t have nice things.

  • Jan 25th, 2021 @ 6:09am

    Wahhh haaa ahhh wahhh... Everyone is mean to meeee...

    Conservatives- The spoiled annoying, smelly, whiny kid who throws tantrums over everything and can’t understand why nobody likes him or wants him around... only he’s not a kid anymore, he’s 70 and that’s been his entire life.

    If it wasn’t so insipid and all encompassing, it would be comical, but it’s getting really tiresome now.

  • Dec 21st, 2020 @ 7:00am


    “12345”... You are assuming he can count that high... and in sequence.
    trump: “1...” “3...?...5?...” “Ivanka... what comes after 5? Is it triangle or the sideways zeros?”

    “Beautiful numbers... numbers like nobody has ever seen!”

  • Oct 29th, 2020 @ 7:02am

    Yeech... “Mr. Juicy?”

    Yes, please stop using the name “Mr. Juicy”...
    It’s not appetizing and sounds like someone’s pet name for their wiener.
    What’s their slogan... “Come on in and get a mouthful of Mr. Juicy”?
    But if it’s a growing chain... Maybe that’s what Texas wants?
    It could be gay burger bar or a male strip joint, in which case that name works fabulously.
    Otherwise it’s just a comical bad name, right up there with LoveSac bean bag furniture...

  • Oct 12th, 2020 @ 12:14pm

    Re: Re:

    The be even fairer, most pets are much smarter than this president.

  • Jun 18th, 2020 @ 6:17am

    Not to nitpick, but...

    “True to his word, President Trump has continued to honor America's cops...”
    I dunno... more like “As usual, trump has continued to pander to America’s cops...”
    The man “honors” one thing and one thing only... himself, and that’s it.
    Everything else is a cheap carnival act designed to get people to buy tickets.
    He’d turn on the lot of them in a nanosecond, like an rabid orange badger if they displeased him.
    He says nice things to them because he wants his army of followers to be carrying as many guns as possible, so when he he squeals for their help they come running to his aid.
    It’s purely transactional.

  • Jun 13th, 2020 @ 12:39pm

    Re: Re: Re:

    Biden’s “cognitive decline” is nothing compared to trump’s best days at the peak of his youth...
    trump’s cognitive decline began in fourth grade... for fuck sake, the dipshit said minutemen “stormed the airports and rammed the ramparts”... What the fuck does that even mean?
    He’s so goddamn ignorant he can’t even string together a few words without it devolving into a shitty mess...
    That’s not even senility... go back and listen to him on Howard Stern or interviews in the 90s or 80s... he was just as dumb then, the only difference was he didn’t get to be on TV constantly to blatantly display his stupidity for the world to see, so it was less obvious.
    Regardless, anyone would have to be pretty fucking stupid, desperate and racist to re-elect a pathetic ignorant conman who does nothing but rage tweet all day while doing everything he can to stir up hatred and fear.
    Give me a senile Biden any day over that goddamn hateful imbecile trump.

  • Jun 6th, 2020 @ 12:29pm

    Re: Why don't we try and copyright nature, not a picture, but na

    Isn’t something like 20% of the human genome already patented?
    Give it a few more years and you’ll see people getting sued for having a particular eye color or nose shape.
    I don’t even know if I’m being sarcastic anymore...
    Half the ridiculous Simpsons grade shit I’ve joked about over the past few decades has come to pass in the last couple of years of this dystopian dumpster fire nightmare we are living through.

  • Jun 5th, 2020 @ 11:41am

    Quick question...

    Since you are talking about trump... don’t you mean “foistering” not “foisting”?

  • Jun 3rd, 2020 @ 4:09pm

    Wow, a 2D drawing...

  • Mar 8th, 2020 @ 8:51am

    Whatever you say...

    “ My feeling is beyond what I can express”
    You could start with- “Duuuuuuh...”

    “If I knew, I would run ten-thousand-million miles away from that guy.”
    That’s not a real number, but would you have really?

    “I didn’t do my research...″
    Ya think?

    “This is an experience that will teach me a lot for the future.”
    No... You have learned nothing.

    Did she really just except a proposal for a bill from a random guy on the street?
    Is that really how we will be writing our laws now?
    Would she have been equally fooled by someone in a nun, farmer or superhero costume?
    I think there is more to this story, but at this point who cares, there are far more important things to worry about.

  • Mar 4th, 2020 @ 10:52am

    I have no opinion...

    An opinion is just a conclusion one has reached after weighing the facts and carefully deciding between what to ignore and what one immediately forgot because they really weren’t paying attention in the first place.
    Not having an opinion allows one to avoid choosing between the classic positions of “right” and “wrong”...
    Who is to say what is wrong or what is right, or even what is left... for that matter, what is up or down...
    We live on a planet floating in space, and there is no up or down in space... and left or right is just dependent on which shoe is on which foot...
    Do we not all walk funny when the shoe is on the other foot... and what of those without feet?
    Are any of us so bold as to judge those without feet such as the humble cephalopods?
    If we all try to walk a mile in one another’s shoes only then can we truly appreciate how bad our feet will smell.
    A true journalist knows those arguments and to avoid forming opinions because they can cloud one’s mind with judgmental thoughts that might make them seem biased or preachy...
    They know it is best to leave judgement to historians who are judgie bitches anyway... always pointing out who massacred who and who committed genocide where.
    Journalists need to be pure, they need to let history unfold without them calling out potential problems or facts that might lead to those problems being avoided and mankind not learning another important lesson that we’ll instantly forget.
    After all, if we all listen to both sides, no matter how batshit insane and dangerously divisive the other side may sound and behave, and then carefully take into account all we have learned from them, only then can we all appreciate how insane they truly are, and then take steps to avoid labeling their insanity as right or wrong, and by doing so head down the path to true enlightenment, free of all judgmental opinions.
    By giving both sides equal time and consideration, regardless of how much one side may be lying or trying to manipulate the situation by having it’s insane rhetoric aired, we give history a chance to unfold without sensible interference.
    Some may say that’s irresponsible, but still others may say that’s just an opinion based on a presumption of a concept of right and wrong, facts or bullshit.
    In the end, each of us must randomly choose for ourselves the wildest explanation and stick to it until something cooler or more popular comes along.
    But ultimately that all just my opinion of which I have no opinion on.

  • Mar 3rd, 2020 @ 9:13am

    But... but... but...

    This wasn’t supposed to be what happened... I was told by numerous people who obviously know everything, that streaming would not end up like this... they can’t be wrong...
    It’s impossible I tell ya’... impossible.

  • Feb 20th, 2020 @ 7:28am

    You can’t sue Disney

    Isn’t it illegal to sue Disney?
    Besides, while that’s a cute Pegasus, its not a unicorn, so you gotta pick your fights with the omnipotent corporate masters of our legal system better... at least add in a horn and make it a Pegacorn or something and say it was there all along.
    Not to mention thats just about what every other late 70s van was painted up as anyway... that and Conan (the barbarian, not O’Brien), so the argument would easily be “its a common 70s theme”...
    And of course Disney would have sued the crap out of her if the roles were reversed, they sued a school for $300 for showing a film at fundraiser, that’s what they do... it’s friggin’ Disney.

  • Jan 25th, 2020 @ 9:52am

    Re: Today is the 24th......

    You are thinking small...
    I’m claiming copyright on “2020”, “2021”, “2022” and “2023”...
    Over those four years I’ll rake in enough troll income to afford enough evil lawyers to successfully defend my claim to “42”... which as we all know is the answer to “life, the universe and everything”.

  • Jan 9th, 2020 @ 7:24am

    Get rid of them all

    Initially “red light” cameras were not a bad idea, at least “technically”...
    someone who blew a red light well after it had changed got a ticket as they should.
    But it quickly went downhill... poor maintenance, wrong people getting tickets, improperly timed photos... what should have gotten better and fairer as technology improved, just got more and more revenue driven and flat out corrupt.
    Right nearby there are several intersections that previous only experienced an occasional accident here and there, but are high volume traffic areas now hosting “red light” cameras... but only a few blocks away are much lower volume intersections that experience a collision almost every week... the majority of tickets generated by the cameras are not for blowing through the light, but for cars that don’t come to a complete stop before making a right turn.
    It’s clear from the lack of interest in the low volume, but more dangerous intersections, that the cameras are there solely for revenue purposes.
    Not to mention these devices can pose a nuisance to innocent drivers... I’m sure many of us have seen these cameras flash randomly when nobody is breaking the law.
    I’ve seen several near accidents when the strobe flashed for no reason causing someone approaching the light to brake hard and almost get rear ended... in one case a car almost drove up on the curb with pedestrians on it because it swerved.
    From my own observations, even when I still thought they might be a good idea, it’s clear to me they are more of a nuisance, an exploitation and a problem then any good they might serve.
    If our politicians are so concerned about generating income for their districts, let them donate their salaries and “campaign contributions”.

  • Jan 7th, 2020 @ 12:37pm

    Re: The result of allowing a company to silo in their content.

    I pretty much figured that once Netflix became successful and the way was paved for streaming services, everyone would start to mimic the gouging model cable was famous for...
    Why make a reasonable income licensing affordable content when you can hoard everything including old crap and keep it all wing-wangs for yourself?
    Give it a few years and streaming services will all be trashy reality shows and paranormal/Bigfoot/aliens/hunt for lost nazi gold shows and anything remotely worth watching will be locked into a deluxe package.
    The beauty of history is if you miss it the first time, you can experience it all over again when it repeats itself.

  • Sep 26th, 2019 @ 9:50am

    And the carnival sideshow continues...

    Please don’t read this...
    It will be incoherent and has lots of words, it has no redeeming qualities and you may become dumber by reading it...
    I find it hilarious, though not “Haa-ha-ha” hilarious, more like “bad hallucinations caused by food poisoning and now I’m delirious” hilarious, that this administration is so fucking comically inept...
    I’m thankful they are, but totally amazed they all haven’t managed to drown in the shower or blissfully snuff it trying to fly like Superman...
    If twenty years ago someone had told me they traveled to the future and saw this, right after asking them for any significant winning lottery numbers, I’d have told them their story was complete bullshit, because nobody could climb that far up the ladder and be that absolutely incompetent and willfully stupid.
    Especially the part about trump, who has spent his entire life proving what a moron he is...
    Ronald fucking Reagan was suffering from Alzheimer’s and on his worst day he was Steven Hawking compared to trump.
    I just wouldn’t have bought it...
    Yet here we are... and every day all previous levels of ignorance and scumbaggery are outdone.
    We have exceeded Mystery Science Theatre 3000 villain level stupidity many times over at this point...
    Those capering evil aliens bad guys from any of the 60s godzilla movies actually look like fucking geniuses now... all that’s missing is the silver jumpsuits, capes and winged helmets...
    I get that most people are pretty stupid, but holy fucking hell, I just can’t square it that 30% of the people actually support this imbecile...
    I get that 30% may want a greedy misogynistic narcissistic racist hero... but for fuck’s sake, isn’t there a point where one says, “Okay, I want to make a deal with the devil, but obviously this guy in the stained lavender dinosaur costume is not him”...
    I mean if you are going to sell your soul, at least sell it to the actual devil, not a smelly drunk in a bus station wearing a knockoff Barney costume... at least get the effing venue right and pick someone wearing a frigging devil costume...
    I think the thing that bothers me most is the incompetency... that people so bad at everything can be chosen by anyone to do anything... these people couldn’t manage an abandoned 7-11, yet they are trying to run America into the ground...
    I’m not for that, it’s just the equivalent of the humiliation of having your greatest nemesis turn out to be a pile of retarded hamsters in fat guy costume... it’s like “what the fuck... it was hamsters... no wonder he couldn’t spell...”
    And that’s the problem, because aside from voting these incompetent scumbags out, you never really had an opportunity to fight back against the retarded hamsters... you just had to watch as they ran everything into the ground.
    We weren’t even afforded a proper villain... just a failed real estate guy ex-reality show bozo with the vocabulary of a pile of retarded hamsters.
    Just fuck.
    It’s humiliating on a daily basis.
    Hopefully we have reach a turning point... probably not because for too long this shit has been getting out of hand... but hopefully.
    Anyway... I told you not to read this.

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