Iran's FARS: Snowden Documents Finally Detail That The US Government Is Run By Aliens

from the truth-is-out-there dept

Edward Snowden's leaks have offered much in the way of revelation. Each story seems to broaden our understanding of exactly how widespread the government surveillance efforts have gone. They have caused many Americans to rethink their stance on their own government. They've painted several public employees, including those holding the highest offices in the nation, as inhuman power-mongers. And, according to Iran's semi-official FARS news agency, there may be a reason for that.

FARS is reporting that the latest revelation from the Snowden documents is that the American government is actually run by a race of aliens known as "Tall Whites," who have engineered everything in recent history, most notably the rise of Hitler, because all alien intergalactic roads lead back to Hitler.


Pictured: a Tall White

And, no, I'm not making any of this up or exaggerating any of this. That distinction belongs to the website whatdoesthismean.com, best known as being generally insane and specifically crackpot-conspiracy-theory-ish. Prior to FARS deciding that this was, like, totally legit, that website was the only source for this revelation that has FARS stating:

A stunning Federal Security Services (FSB) report on the nearly two million highly classified top-secret documents obtained from the United States Department of Defense (DOD) run National Security Agency-Central Security Service (NSA/CSS) by the American ex-patriot Edward Snowden states that this information is providing “incontrovertible proof” that an “alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda” is driving US domestic and international policy, and has been doing so since at least 1945.
They further state that the only reason you haven't heard of these "Tall Whites" running the American government is because they have instituted a global network designed to shut down any information sources about them. Apparently, the FARS news agency and WhatDoesThisMean are somehow out of the reach of these alien masterminds.

Thanks for the laugh, FARS. In the future, if you could just go ahead and return to falling for "news stories" from The Onion, that'd be great.



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  • icon
    silverscarcat (profile), 17 Jan 2014 @ 1:58pm

    NOW it makes sense!

    After all, there's no way anyone on this planet could EVER allow for stuff like that to happen and why Obama never released his birth certificate until AFTER he was President!

    It's all making sense now!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    blaktron (profile), 17 Jan 2014 @ 3:08pm

    Would Donald Trump be one of the Tall Oranges then?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 Jan 2014 @ 3:11pm

    I feel obligated to mention that "fars" is Swedish for "farce".

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    James T, 17 Jan 2014 @ 3:13pm

    Sounds as legit as the "least untruthful" answers our government is giving itself.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Alien Rebel (profile), 17 Jan 2014 @ 3:25pm

    Finally!

    We short greens have been on the case of these tall whites for some time now. Glad to see word's finally getting out.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 Jan 2014 @ 3:27pm

    I thought they were going to say Mexicans.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 Jan 2014 @ 3:35pm

    way to devalue

    so all the Snowden stuff, is not just becoming a forum for racist jokes..

    It shows just how seriously the world is taking all these bullshit 'revelations'.

    Just one big joke and Snowdens expense.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    socrates2 (profile), 17 Jan 2014 @ 3:37pm

    Those poor guys at FARS have definitely overdosed on "X-files" re-runs.
    Sadly, this corroborates the theory that the less factually informed a people are, the more the "curiosity-vacuum" is filled with conjecture, superstition and out and out paranoia...

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anne O'Nemus, 17 Jan 2014 @ 5:37pm

      Re:

      Just because it was on X-Files doesn't mean it isn't true.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      trinsic, 17 Jan 2014 @ 6:40pm

      Re:

      The worse the social/political climate gets, the more criticism is direct toward people and ideas outside established view points.

      There is a little known saying among a small minority of people with truly open minds, "Truth is stranger than Fiction"

      Keep it up, it only increases your own self-inflated importance. Which furthers you from contemplating your existence.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Pragmatic, 21 Jan 2014 @ 7:26am

      Re:

      Don't get me started...!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 Jan 2014 @ 3:41pm

    "We are the Tall Whites. You will be assimilated"

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Alien Rebel (profile), 17 Jan 2014 @ 4:01pm

    Dopey Earthlings

    You have no excuses for not knowing all this. Seriously; if you had any brains, it would have clicked when you started seeing rights contracts containing "media existing anywhere, throughout the universe or in any alternate dimension(s), . . "

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      alien victim, 18 Jan 2014 @ 11:08am

      Re: Dopey Earthlings

      Turned down a very lucrative job at a big animation company because of wording like that in their contract. Didn't like the hubris it suggested, never considered this angle. Makes far more sense now.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • icon
        Alien Rebel (profile), 18 Jan 2014 @ 12:30pm

        Re: Re: Dopey Earthlings

        I did illustration work for a game developer, had a nice relationship with them until they sent a new contract written by the tall whites. They demanded ownership of ALL WORK created by me while I was engaged with them, unless I declared what was not to be their property and submitted samples. No need for additional proof that aliens are indeed taking over.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    weneedhelp - not signed in, 17 Jan 2014 @ 4:03pm

    [Sigh]

    Pfft... Everyone knows the Government has been infiltrated by the Nibiru shape-shifters.[rolls eyes]Silly Russians.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Me, 17 Jan 2014 @ 4:05pm

    How do you know this isn't an NSA plant to make the Snowden concerns seem flippant?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 17 Jan 2014 @ 4:16pm

    Obviously Fake

    "American ex-patriot Edward Snowden"

    Wrong Edward Snowden so its obviously fake

    The one leaking stuff is known as the "American patriot Edward Snowden"

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      btr1701 (profile), 18 Jan 2014 @ 9:38am

      Re: Obviously Fake

      > "American ex-patriot Edward Snowden"

      > Wrong Edward Snowden so its obviously fake

      > The one leaking stuff is known as the "American
      > patriot Edward Snowden"

      Are you trying to be funny or do you really not know what the term "ex-patriot" means?

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 18 Jan 2014 @ 12:47pm

        Re: Re: Obviously Fake

        "do you really not know what the term "ex-patriot" means?"

        Someone who used to play pro football in New England?

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anne O'Nemus, 17 Jan 2014 @ 4:27pm

    Sorcha Faal

    Sorcha Faal, the pseudonym of the original author of this piece, is well-known as a disinformation agent targeting gullible and emotionally vulnerable tinfoil-hatters. This piece should be classified under 'humor'.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Spaceman Spiff (profile), 17 Jan 2014 @ 4:46pm

    They Live!

    Great 1988 SciFi 'B' movie - our society is controlled by aliens who can disguise their real appearance, and only special sunglasses can reveal their true face! Sound familiar? :-)

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    An actual girl, 17 Jan 2014 @ 5:34pm

    Don't blame me -- I just catalogue the craziness

    Yeah, the original article isn't serious. However, does everyone know that 500+ (former and current) military personnel, intelligence services workers, and defense employees have decided to go on the record regarding their dealings, in the course of their professional duties, with: UFOs; apparently alien technologies including crashed spacecraft; recovered humanoid but not human bodies; and various practices for keeping the public unaware of this information including manipulation of photographic evidence?
    http://disclosureproject.org/

    I don't find this topic extraordinarily comforting, and I'm quite sure that most of us have no clue WTH they're actually up to.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 17 Jan 2014 @ 6:11pm

      Re: Don't blame me -- I just catalogue the craziness

      What the ones I met are "up to" is monitoring the planet that they "terraformed" (such sweet irony) some 4 billion years ago by stationing the Moon (the combination of the Moon's mass and its orbit limits the peturbations of the Earth such that the Earth's magnetosphere is always broadside to the Solar Wind. This in its turn both stops the atmosphere from being blasted away and prevents life from being exterminated by high-energy protons.)

      I'm not entirely sure where that leaves us except to say that you're very right to feel uncomfortable about it.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 17 Jan 2014 @ 6:30pm

        Re: Re: Don't blame me -- I just catalogue the craziness

        By the way, peturbations are changes in the Obliquity of the Ecliptic, or variations of the dihedral angle between the Axis of Rotation of the Earth and the plane of the Earth's orbit around the Sun (the 'Ecliptic'). The Earth's Obliquity varies only between ~20 and ~25 degrees over a cyclical period of some 41,000 years.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        An actual girl, 17 Jan 2014 @ 6:40pm

        Re: Re: Don't blame me -- I just catalogue the craziness

        Really -- I didn't get the hell astroturfed out of me on my first comment here ever?! That's fantastic!

        I've also gotten a wicked story or two from friends who've been behind the "classified information" curtain. If any of this was true (imminent earth changes, aliens coming to live among us...), it would be devastating. And if it's just more disinfo to confuse and control people, that's so damn sinister I don't know where to start. Why tell defense contractors these things? What kind of psychopaths are in charge anyhow?

        Unless you're saying aliens told you this rather than insiders, in which case, I stand teased.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      steell (profile), 17 Jan 2014 @ 7:24pm

      Re: Don't blame me -- I just catalogue the craziness

      I hope that doesn't include the dozens of reports I made during my time in the USAF. I was just trying to show that no one read the reports anyway. No one ever said anything about all the ridiculous reports I filed, so apparently I was right, no one ever did read them.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 18 Jan 2014 @ 2:33am

        Re: Re: Don't blame me -- I just catalogue the craziness

        So everyone in the USAF is a liar, eh? What about the Navy? Are they all liars too?

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      dave mirra, 27 Aug 2014 @ 11:57am

      Re: Don't blame me -- I just catalogue the craziness

      Your right. Most of these people dont. Look at the comments..Sheeple..There is no wonder as a species we are completely with out. I have created my list of I told you so people..And yes i wish i knew more about that agenda.read read read..

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Mike, 17 Jan 2014 @ 6:48pm

    And people wonder why dipshit liberals make fun of us.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Manic Pedantic, 17 Jan 2014 @ 8:05pm

    Timmy still can't get his "facts" right.

    And, no, I'm not making any of this up or exaggerating any of this. That distinction belongs to the website whatdoesthismean.com, best known as being generally insane and specifically crackpot-conspiracy-theory-ish.


    Try

    whatdoesitmean.com

    for the lowdown on the highbrow subject of conspiracy theories.

    As an aside, there are many people involved in many different conspiracies and there are just as many who appear to be involved and are only acting out in self-interest. Just as there are many who haven't a clue about what is happening around them, there are many who cannot tell the difference between a real conspiracy and what has happened in someone's drug-induced nightmare. As they say, don't attribute to intelligent conspiracy when it is just self-interested stupidity. As our in-house "conspiracy theory" analyst (Dark Helmet) will attest to.

    We only need to look as far as the FBI, CIA, DEA, NSA, etc, for evidence of people running their own little conspiracies because they believe that everyone else is involved in various nefarious conspiracies.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 19 Jan 2014 @ 9:03am

      Re: Timmy still can't get his "facts" right.

      You forgot Congress, they are good at promoting conspiracy theories - ad nauseum. Benghazi, IRS, birthers, truthers ...

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    krolork (profile), 17 Jan 2014 @ 8:19pm

    We need a revolution.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 18 Jan 2014 @ 1:27am

    I doubt an intelligent alien race who's smart enough to travel across the interstellar cosmos, would be dumb enough to push the disastrous economic policies we're currently pursuing as a people.

    Indeed, the current policy failures appear to be 100% "human" in nature.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 18 Jan 2014 @ 1:31am

    Tall-whites is obviously a cover word for jews.
    They been saying the same thing about the jews for the past few years, and suddenly its aliens?
    Well, they still have more credibility than foxnewz

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Crusty the Ex-Clown, 18 Jan 2014 @ 6:42am

    I knew it!!

    There is a reason this short ex-clown isn't rich and famous and besieged with attractive women demanding his attentions. Damn you, you Tall White Aliens!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    bilgerat, 18 Jan 2014 @ 7:35am

    they live

    Sounds like some one is ripping off one of my fav movies. They Live, was exactly what fars is reporting. One question though,if we are being controlled by the tall whites, how do you explain Obama?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 18 Jan 2014 @ 7:53am

    I suppose I could overcome my dislike for country music if it were to rid us of this alien infestation.

    Putting on Slim Whitman's Indian Love Call

    Turn it up to eleven.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 18 Jan 2014 @ 8:23am

    The Flat Earth Geniuses

    Just because it sounds outrageous doesn't mean it's not true.

    If some of you lived hundreds of years ago you would have been the ones who believed the earth was flat and the center of the universe.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 18 Jan 2014 @ 12:59pm

      Re: The Flat Earth Geniuses

      There are people who believe those things. And our claim, right or wrong, does nothing to quell the skepticism regarding the topic at hand.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 19 Jan 2014 @ 3:32am

    Obama said he promises "things will change" and the NSA will no longer bug world leaders mobile phones...

    ALL Change, because he also signed an order so the CIA will do it instead AND adds bugging their houses, their assistants houses and other 'appropriate' buildings......technically he didn't lie to the public but nothing changes and just gets worse

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 19 Jan 2014 @ 3:35am

    FARS (which receives partial funding from the US as a 'semi-official' Iranian news source) was asked by the US goverment to run this crap btw.
    Its all FUD so that when Snowden leaks the REALLY serious stuff (assassinations, concentration camps for anti-government 'undesirables') it'll be lumped in with aliens/ghosts/telepathy etc as a pile of crap.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    steve ellis, 19 Jan 2014 @ 3:38am

    Tall Whites

    The Tall Whites do exist, they have there main base which is 5,000 Square miles in area 53. They have 2 agreements which were made back in 1955 with the US Government 1. technology transfer agreement and 2. earth resource extraction agreement.
    For more information watch Mr Charles Hall Interview for 1hr 26mins on youtube and watch it all carefully. also go on google earth after and you can view the the tall whites scout craft and main landing areas in dog bone lake. The Main technology handed over the last 30 years was communication systems but the Tall Whites are a selfish race and will not do anything unless its in there favour. FARS News have not got it quite correct but they have opened the can. The Tall Whites goal is to integrate in human society officially in 20 years from now with a 1 world government. We will loose our freedom. Do your homework into this and as you dig deeper , you will find a lot more that I have not given out above. Regards Steve UK

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    steve ellis, 19 Jan 2014 @ 4:22am

    Barack Obama

    There is one more point. Barack Obama was never informed of the under government with the Tall Whites. He had No KNOWLEDGE of this just as he had NO knowledge of the NSA using this Technology for world Mapping and survellance on all world leaders 24hrs a day.
    Obama now has been briefed over the last 4 months about the whistleblower SNOWDEN of the information he has leaked to the world. Obama has made in certain words an apology to Merkel and ALL other world Leaders and branded Snowden a traitor to his country. Obama has now been briefed on the Tall Whites and Hopefully he will get the full agenda . I hope Obama starts a move against the The World Plan of 1 Government and integration of the Tall Whites.

    Rgds Steve UK

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Alien Rebel (profile), 19 Jan 2014 @ 9:40am

    Truth

    Why is it that the bad things are always so "true"; invasions, mind control, brain-sucking leech people? Why not the good stuff?

    There are times I could really use a nice Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Christa, 19 Jan 2014 @ 10:08pm

    Disclosure Time!

    My husband and I were shocked when we saw this article as it lines up so well his new book "The Anunnaki of Nibiru: Mankinds Forgotten Creators, Enslavers, Destroyers, Saviors and Hidden Architects of the New World Order" where he mentions Paul Hellyer the "Tall Whites" and so much more! Found on http://www.amazon.com/The-Anunnaki-Nibiru-Forgotten-Architects/dp/1491211229!

    www.geraldclark77.com

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    SpaceLifeForm, 20 Jan 2014 @ 3:24pm

    Logic dictates that this could be true

    If true, it explains a lot of events over the last 50 years.

    If false, then those events indicate that Homo Sapiens is
    just insane.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Pragmatic, 21 Jan 2014 @ 7:37am

    So much crazy... I suspect that the comment about trying to discredit Snowden by getting him linked with the tinfoil hatters may have some basis in fact. Isn't that how disinformation works?

    Then, of course, the other "true believers," who in olden times would have been blathering about faeries, nymphs, spirits and demons (and the astonishing variety thereof), have started shilling their crap and conspiracy theories about aliens... all of which plays into the hands of the dirty tricks brigade, if indeed they are behind this.

    Damn it, I'm running out of tinfoil!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Alien Rebel (profile), 21 Jan 2014 @ 8:12am

      Re:

      . . I'm running out of tinfoil!

      Gets me to thinking that what we could really use an empirical study to measure just how many crazies there are amongst us. Publicly announce a tinfoil shortage, then measure the run on retailers.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 21 Jan 2014 @ 9:13am

    Way to oppress the short grays Iran!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    yackyj, 4 Mar 2015 @ 10:28am

    I love whatdoesitmean.com

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Tallish Whitish Jewish, 31 May 2015 @ 9:51pm

    We were originally known as the Tall Whites but after several decades of mixing with various ethnic communities across America we would now, "unofficially", like to be referred to as Largish Light Beiges.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


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