Federal Election Commission To Crack Down On 'Deez Nuts' As Presidential Candidate

from the you-take-the-fun-out-of-everything dept

In this somewhat insane presidential election, about the only non-terrifying entertainment that came out of it happened last summer when Public Policy Polling (PPP) released a poll showing that “Deez Nuts” would get 9% of the vote.

The more web savvy among you may know that “Deez Nuts” was a popular web meme earlier in 2015, but it didn’t quite explain how it got into the poll. It turned out that a 15 year old kid named Brady Olson had filled out the necessary paperwork under the name Deez Nuts, and PPP had decided to toss it into their poll as a bit of fun. The attention paid to Deez Nuts as a political candidate resulted in a bunch of other silly names filling out the paperwork as well — including Butt Stuff, Mr. Not Sure and Sir TrippyCup aka Young Trippz aka The GOAT aka The Prophet aka Earl.

Of course, after that initial flurry of attention, most people mostly forgot about Deez Nuts, the fake Presidential candidate…. until this week.

You see, earlier this week PPP released a new poll showing that Green Party candidate Jill Stein was trailing Deez Nuts in Texas (also trailing, Harambe, the dead gorilla who is also now something of an internet meme).

And, just like that, it seems the renewed attention may have killed this bit of fun. A day later, the Federal Election Commission (FEC) announced that it will start cracking down on Deez Nuts and other such candidates. It has now started to include a verification procedure for “possibly false or fictitious names.”

Yeah, it seems the FEC can’t take a joke.

The Commission has authorized staff to send verification letters to filers listing fictional characters, obscene language, sexual references, celebrities (where there is no indication that the named celebrity submitted the filing), animals, or similarly implausible entries as the name or contact information of the candidate or committee.

And they’re not kidding around. Part of the process of sending out these letters will remind filers that the FEC may “pursue or refer action for false filing under 52 U.S.C. Section 30109(a) or otherwise report such filings under 52 U.S. C. Section 30107(a)(9).” So, uh, yeah. So, long, Presidential Candidate Deez Nuts. We hardly knew you.

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Comments on “Federal Election Commission To Crack Down On 'Deez Nuts' As Presidential Candidate”

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art guerrilla (profile) says:

Re: Re:

at this point, i could not agree more…
a totally RANDOM pick would do better,
a coin flip would do better,
for the simple reason of the game is rigged against us, and ANY improvement would be a substantial improvement…

but, let’s not lose perspective, kampers: it is NOT due to insufficient intelligence that our kongreskritters just can’t ‘see’ the result of their anti-99% laws/actions; it is due to insufficient basic morality to withstand the onslaught of legalized bribery and co-option by the borg…
(forget about whatever small percentage happens as a result of enn ess ehh/see eye ehh/eff bee eye extortion, etc…)
what we got are tools, fools and the occasional boy scout…
but how long does it take a tool or a fool to realize which side their bread is buttered on ? ? ?
what happens to an ‘incorruptible’ (snort) boy scout ?
turn’em if you can, burn’em if you can’t…
maybe keep a few token ones around for window dressing…
its payoffs all the way down, kampers…

Anonymous Coward says:

It’s a shame… deeze nutz was clearly the only choice for well informed voters…

Having an entry of “no confidence” would be better, and more sensible. But this is america… we don’t do sensible anymore, apparently. If you’re not a card carrying member of the brainwashed masses you can go fuck yourself. Chose your tawdry corrupt sociopathic sycophant 1%’ers puppet and shut-up already- or be ready to be shamed because you refuse the choice of unprecedented evils.

I love you; But go fuck yourself america. I’m drunk and sick of your shit tonight….

Anonymous Coward (user link) says:

And what if someone legally changed their name to something like “The Son of Deez Nuts,” then tried to register as a presidential candidate?

Would the FEC tell them in no uncertain terms to fuck off?

It would be pretty undemocratic telling people they can’t register as a candidate in an election if that’s the case…

Anonymous Coward says:

re: write-in candidate.

In my state- a least for the one and only time I’ve voted (1st term obama suckered me in), there was NO OPTION to write in anything.

I”m curious how many other states are like that, or if that was an error that’s been corrected now.

-Also, literally 49% of my states voters didn’t count that year thanks to the electoral collage. The vote was only won by 12,000 or so votes, but obama got all the points for the state. This is a huge part of why I never voted before, and probably won’t again; The system is ridiculous, it disenfranchises people, by design. I don’t even begin to understand how the electoral collage is still considered legal within the constitution.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: re: write-in candidate.

That would be a “winner take all” state.

The idea behind that is, roughly: If candidates are split even close to evenly between “the two parties”, we (the state as a whole) won’t influence the election at all. But hey, if we throw the whole lump of electoral college votes behind “the winner”, we stand a better chance of influencing the election.

So… any state that has a historical bias towards one candidate or the other, the party in power is obviously not going to be in favor of “weakening their block”, while the underdog (of course) supports it. The party in power being in power, the only practical method of moving from winner-take-all to district representation will be via voter initiative. And even then, you have to wave an election like Bush/Gore under their noses….

Two states (Maine, Nebraska) vote by congressional district, the rest are ‘winner take all’. Both those states did so recently – but both moved away from winner-take-all before the 2000 (Bush/Gore) election.

There is a lot more to it.

Granite Patriot says:

Wait, why am I voting again?

So in short, the FEC said: “No America, we will not let you vote for your jokes over our jokes!” Very authoritarian of them.

How about an open election? As in you have to write in your candidate selection? No multiple-choices-fill-in-the-dot nonsense on the ballot. You have to actually write the name of person you want for president, next to the line marked “President”.

That might actually fix a few things around here.

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