Kenya's Ingenious Solution To Cybercrime: Register Every Wi-Fi User And Device With The Government

from the criminal-masterminds dept

Good news! Kenya has developed an ingenious, foolproof plan to put an end to the menace of cybercrime as we know it: they’ll soon be requiring that all Wi-Fi users register with the government before going online. Since most of us realize that hacking or tricking Wi-Fi authentication systems is impossible, and, as we all know, criminals aren’t capable of stealing other peoples’ Wi-Fi credentials, Kenya will be at the very forefront of landing a killing blow on internet-based crime as we know it for decades to come. It’s simply amazing that someone didn’t come up with this idea sooner.

The new head of Kenya’s Communications Authority, Francis Wangusi, last week stated in a speech that Kenya has taken over chairmanship of Association of Regulators of Information and Communications for Eastern and Southern Africa (ARICEA), a body that fights cybercrime within member nations. A new mandate of the group will require that every single Wi-Fi device in each and every member nation be registered with KENIC for the good of internet users everywhere:

“He added that Kenyans will also be required to register their mobile devices with Kenya Network Information Centre (KENIC) in new rules aimed at fighting cyber- crime. “We will license KENIC to register device owners using their national identity cards and telephone numbers, the identity of a device will be known when it connects to Wi-fi,” said Mr Wangusi at the ARICEA annual general meeting Tuesday in Nairobi. CA is also committed to conduct a detailed study on the depth of web hackings in the country. Wangusi said cyber-attacks are on the rise with the banking sector suffering most, followed by government officials.”

Other reports seem to indicate the well-formed plan could just involve users having to plug in a passport or other ID number before being able to access the internet whatsoever:

“We are considering the idea of ensuring the Public Wi-Fi is not accessed without a log in. The logging in of the public domain will require one?s passport number, ID Number or telephone number,” he said. “The unique number of a device is identified on the internet but we can?t identify who is owning it, if you don?t use the right identification numbers. That?s why we insist on logging in the Public Wi-Fi with personal credentials. This will help us in securing the cyber space, in case of cybercrimes,? he said.”

Since MAC spoofing apparently doesn’t exist in the alternate dimension I’m currently writing this story from, it should be relatively easy to get everybody voluntarily registered while constantly monitoring and thwarting any attempt to bypass the system. Similarly, since fighting the ambiguous menace known as “cybercrime” is never used as a pretense to expand government surveillance and brick-and-mortar oppression, Kenya will likely spearhead this bold new assault on internet skulduggery without any negative repercussions whatsoever for the public at large. Amazing!

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Comments on “Kenya's Ingenious Solution To Cybercrime: Register Every Wi-Fi User And Device With The Government”

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Anonymous Coward says:

Re: SMAC MAC Address Changer

Are MAC addresses still set up such that the first 6 characters designates the manufacturer of the NIC? Is so I can see something being deployed that if the first 6 characters don’t match anybody’s list that said NIC would be denied access to whatever network.

(Similar to MAC whitelisting/blacklisting, except those use entire addresses.)

Anonymous Coward says:

And the really funny thing is ...

MAC addresses aren’t transmitted past the point of access. So your WiFi equipped device and the WiFi access point have access to the MAC address and anything past that just has a IP address (typically dynamically assigned). So is Kenya going to require that all WiFi access points maintain access logs? Or perhaps transmit an authentication record to some central logging server?

Definitely sounds like politicians making laws about technology when they don’t have the foggiest concept about the technology.

minijedimaster (profile) says:

Re: And the really funny thing is ...

Not only that but vast majority of the time you’re connecting to an AP on a LAN and are NAT’d out to the internet on the same public IP everyone else on the AP is on (just a different random port). So really PAT’d out, not NAT’d out I guess. Either way, not sure how you even accomplish this without forwarding all your internet traffic to some sort of AAA server the government runs.

ahow628 (profile) says:

Re: Re: And the really funny thing is ...

You don’t think the government of Nigeria can build servers to handle the forwarding of all traffic through one government checkpoint? Just look at all the email traffic they handle going to the US.

“Dear honorable sir, I am Jobley Masterson, esq and I represent a Nigerian price…”

That One Guy (profile) says:

Well, not /all/ of them...

You can be sure however that politicians and the higher ranked individuals from companies will not be subject to this new tracking scheme, because it would ‘violate their privacy’, and ‘present a threat to the security of the government/company’.

Can’t track the ones that write the rules, or the ones who buy them after all. /s

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