Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the trump-cards dept

This week, the MPAA unveiled some new anti-piracy ads that are targeted (of course) at people who have already paid to go see a movie. Vincent Clement won most insightful comment of the week by underlining just how backwards this is:

It’s interesting that at no point does the RIAA or movie studio every THANK people for paying to see the movie or for buying the DVD or digital file.

Even a used car salesman will shake your hand when you buy a vehicle.

Meanwhile, as we continued our discussion of the Uber crackdown in France, one commenter brought out the disingenuous argument that this is is really all about knowing that you’re insured when taking a cab. Senor Space Beans won second place for insightful by putting that notion to bed:

It’s funny, my state government checks to see if I have insurance before issuing my drivers licence. It doesn’t cost six figures to perform said check. The license doesn’t provide the insurance; it stipulates that you have insurance.

Taxi Licenses in Paris cost so much because legacy taxi companies lobbied to have them raised to prevent any new comers from elbowing in on their market share. They’ve created their own problem and nobody’s talking about it because it’s easier to blame someone else when you’ve failed to innovate.

For editor’s choice on the insightful side, we start out with a response to the FCC commissioner’s apparent view that broadband isn’t all that important. Seegras had a solid theory on just how he could be so wrong:

Secretary Syndrome

Some people don’t even realise they’re dependant on the internet, because they have all their staff doing the work — depending on the internet — on their behalf.

Next, we circle back to the MPAA’s anti-piracy ads, where one commenter suggested there’s nothing movie studios could that the Techdirt community would approve of or appreciate. DannyB chimed in with a list of counter-examples:

You are wrong. But you are too blind to see it.

Here are a dozen things the movie industry could do.

1. Quit focusing on Google which has absolutely nothing to do with piracy.
2. Go after actual infringers. With proof. Using due process. You know, the site hosting infringing content. Free Clue: if you take those down, then those sites don’t appear in Google. (and other search engines!)
3. Quit trying to use copyright as a censorship tool.
4. Quit trying to create laws the impose liability upon everyone except the actual infringers.
5. Try making movies that I actually want to see. (There is exactly one movie this summer that I am interested in seeing — this is the first time in several years. This new stupid anti-piracy ad for three minutes is giving me 2nd thoughts.)
6. If you want to actually help the hard working people you feature in your anti piracy ad, then get rid of Hollywood Accounting.
7. Quit complaining about the Creative Commons license.
8. If I buy a DVD (or CD) I should own either a piece of plastic that costs virtually nothing to produce, or I should own a licensed copy that allows me to very cheaply replace the worn piece of plastic. Or have reasonable backup policies. Most people are honest. But you’ll never see this.
9. Quit trying to destroy the public domain. Quit trying to re-copyright it.
10. Quit extending copyright.
11. In short, quit abusing copyright.
12. Quit trolling TechDirt

Extra freebie:

13. Get your head out of the sand. Quit being stuck in the past. See the future. Technology is your friend. It always has been historically even when you fought it kicking and screaming.

Over on the funny side, we start out on a recent patent trolling story, this time involving newly-formed company Wetro Lan, LLC. Beltorak noticed something about that name, and I’m not even entirely sure it’s a coincidence:

wait wait wait wait

are you serious?? a patent troll called “We Trollin”??? How is this not some form of high satire?

oh yeah, cause they’re serious :-/

Next, in response to Donald Trump’s defamation lawsuit over an Instagram photo that put his face next to Dylan Roof’s, one anonymous comment’s second-place win shows just how much people can’t stand Trump:

About that side-by-side picture- between the two of them, why is Trump the one suing?

For editor’s choice on the funny side, we’ll start by heading back to the MPAA anti-piracy ads one more time, since one anonymous commenter discovered something hilarious when he tried to watch:

I don’t usually go to the movies but I still wanted to see what these commercials are about, so I clicked the links.

“This content is not available in your region.”

Huh, I guess they only want people in the United States to stop pirating.

Finally, every now and then we get a comment that is a complete satirical re-imagining of a famous work. Truth be told, a lot of them don’t seem all that inspired — but DannyB deserves a second nod this week for his opus, How the Cable TV stole Internet Streaming:

Every Who on the Internet liked Netflix a lot…
But the Cable who lived north of Internet, Did NOT!
The Cable HATED Netflix, the whole TV streaming!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his greed was too tight.
But the reason most likely for the copyright pigs
May have been that their ego was six sizes too big.

Whatever the reason, Their heart or their greed,
They stood on the precipice of Cable TV.
Staring down from their cave with a sour, greedy fret,
At the warm lighted screens all over the Internet.

For they knew down on the Internet
Every Who they could see
Was watching Netflix original series
Instead of Cable TV!

And that new streaming content! cable snarled with a sneer,
Streaming TV is popular, it is practically here!
Then they growled with their long fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop the Streaming from coming!”

For in the future cable knew, all the Who girls and boys,
Would be watching on smart phones, their tablets, gadgets and toys!

Then they got an idea! An awful idea!
The Cable got a horrible, awful idea!
“I know just what to do!” The Cable laughed like a brute.
I’ll call my lawyers”, they snarled, “to file a lawsuit!”

That’s all for this week, folks!

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Comments on “Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt”

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Anonymous Coward says:

“For many years, despite claims from legacy copyright industry extremists who sought to blame everyone else for any piracy issues, we’ve pointed out that the reality is almost always that piracy is their own fault for failing to provide convenient, reasonably priced alternatives to the public. When they actually do that, piracy rates almost always drop significantly. And now we have even more proof that these legacy industry insiders know this and don’t care.” Mike Masnik. 1 July.

BUT when the industry creates a site that allows the audience to easily find where they can legally watch a given program, you dismiss a campaign to promote it out of hand -and erroneously – as anti-pirate ads. The industry provides convenience so you have to start looking for fault elsewhere.

Three posts of the week are from people that lack the power to follow links and see what the real story is, three people that accept and regurgitate one-sided wrongness.

The cry will go out in response to this that I’m some sort of shill – I’m not!

That One Guy (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:2 Re:

Well clearly you just need to move to the proper country. That’s not too much to ask is it, in exchange for such ‘awesome’ content?

I mean, how greedy are you, expected them to treat the internet as a global network, and allow anyone to watch content whenever, and wherever they want, for a modest price, rather than having it locked up and blocked depending on where you live so they can make lucrative deals on a case-by-case basis and have the content cut up into tons of pieces such that if you want a decent selection(assuming it’s available at all), you need to sign up for only half a dozen or more services with insane prices and worse restrictions.

Really, shame on you and your greedy ways.

Roger Strong (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:3 Re:

Good point.

As the saying goes, “If Breaking Bad were written in any other modern country, Walt gets cancer and then just receives free high-quality treatment for five seasons.” America is also set up for more shoot-outs, and in turn its police are outfitted with military equipment. A Canadian or British crime show is boring by comparison.

This is why America makes the best TV on the planet. Americans have PAID for it, as a society. It’s why everyone else gets “This content is not available in your region” messages. You can have awesome content OR universal healthcare. Only a greedy bastard expects both.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re: Re:

Seriously, that’s an amazing post, for a few reasons:

a) the linked address is to a press release about a site
b) the site in question would appear to be a search engine to help you find the content, not the content itself
c) but I can’t tell, because the search engine is a region locked website

Google does it better.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:

You forgot about being on the right the bit of soil, and it only being available for streaming when it is not available via other distribution channels, making forward planning difficult. Hint, make sure you have a back-up plan if are planning a streamed video for a kids party.

Rikuo says:

Re: Re:

“Three posts of the week are from people that lack the power to follow links and see what the real story is, “

Of course we lack the power! Those of us NOT in the US get a “This content is not available in your region” error message when we click the link.
This has got to be the sorriest attempt at victim blaming there is (not that I consider not being able to watch a movie legally to be some sort of victimhood…), but you’ve been told in other posts (and on this one) how bad that site is, how idiotic its design is. And yet here you are, still tooting its horn, trying to paint everyone else as being idiots for daring to be in the wrong country.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:

I can’t see it either, I’m not in the right country. I can, however find alternate sources of the adverts and I found the press release. The press release says the site is in Beta which would explain the limited audience.

I don’t get told anything at this site, it totally lacks that sort of authority.
Groupthink is not authority.

Killercool (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re: Re:

The legal customers try to inform the public about how the site is broken, inaccessible, and/or a nightmare to use, and you dismiss it out of hand -and erroneously- as groupthink.

Frankly, actual customers who have experience with the product should have far greater authority than any press releases by a company with a vested interest in the product being sold.
Advertising is not authority.

Leigh Beadon (profile) says:

Re: Re:

This is how the entertainment industry innovates.

For years we’ve pointed out that the industry’s much-boasted-about abundance of legal sources is actually an unnavigable mish-mash of overlapping services with wildly varying quality, availability and limitations, and that even if the average person does have a legal alternative to piracy it’s likely that actually replacing piracy would mean signing up for a dozen different services with separate bills, and it still wouldn’t get them anything… if they can be bothered to figure them out at all.

Does Hollywood respond by trying to unify some of these services? By opening up new licensing terms to allow wider cross-platform availability? By scrapping all that shit and launching a new, flagship platform that promises to offer all the movies there are, and actually delivers?

No, no, no… It has a genius idea instead. “Clearly what we need,” said one bigwig to another, “is a special search engine to help people navigate our dozens of terrible services slightly more easily.”

How could they be so dumb? Maybe they just truly don’t know how to innovate at all. Or maybe this is what happens when your thought process isn’t so much “how can we offer our customers a great service” as it is “how can we seemingly invalidate our customers’ complaints, so they can’t serve as excuses for the behaviour we want outlawed”

Leigh Beadon (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re: Re:

And yet, both things are entirely true…

It’s a bullshit anti-piracy campaign targeted at people who already paid to see a movie, which is idiotic, and it’s a promotion for a worthless “service”. If you have any valid point at all, it’s that we didn’t mock them as extensively as we should have.

But of course, you’re full of shit, because now you’re pretending that you knew it was a terrible service all along – and yet your first comment on this post is eagerly promoting it with language straight out of the press release.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:2 Re:

“But of course, you’re full of shit, because now you’re pretending that you knew it was a terrible service all along – and yet your first comment on this post is eagerly promoting it with language straight out of the press release.”

Neither of those statements are true.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:6 Re:

Those words were chosen to reflect the quote from Mike. A quote that represents one of the rallying cries of the freetards, I didn’t have to go back more than a week to find it.
The conversation has been had, what I was drawing attention to was seen, by you even. Keep your insults.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:7 Re:

You do know that there are shills that visit various forums. In fact, back before they started using things like TOR and VPN it was apparent from their IP addresses that they came from various law firms that were involved in these issues. It stands to reason that these paid shills are still roaming these forums it’s just that they do a better job disguising their identities. It also stands to reason that you are probably one of them. After all, IP extremists on various forums tend to be disproportionately anonymous while those that either oppose IP laws or at least oppose our current laws (but not IP altogether) are much less likely to be anonymous. I wonder why ….

and history shows that IP supporters have no problems whatsoever telling lies. In fact, they seem to have no regard for morality whatsoever. Just look at the MPAA/RIAA and how they managed to subvert the democratic process by getting politicians to engage in secretive meetings where only they are invited. So, in all likelihood, it stands to reason that you are a shill with no regard for morality and no honesty whatsoever. Give me one good reason to believe you’re not a shill.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:8 Re:

Yeah, the MPAA pay’s me $50 a comment, $75 if it disses Mike Masnik, $50 bonus for a reply from Mike Masnik, and $25 for a blue box from any of the lesser spotted freetards.

“After all, IP extremists on various forums tend to be disproportionately anonymous” Do see the irony here.

Digitari says:

Hmmm so easy.....

” Provide a zip code and we’ll provide you with show times and locations for movies in theaters nearby. You can watch trailers and check out behind the scenes features produced by our online magazine, The Credits. You also have the ability to set alerts powered by GoWatchIt and receive notifications when the content you are interested in becomes available from your favorite providers.”

and how does that stream to my phone???

(not to mention the hassle of sign up)

Funny story, I bought unreal tournament black edition from Steam last summer, the VERY next day I got a Notice from my ISP of downloading infringing content, yep, the notice was for Unreal tournament black edition…………..

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