Pro Tip: If You're Going To Break And Enter Someone's Home, Don't Log Into Your Facebook

from the feeling-stupid dept

In the history of the dumb criminals we’ve written about, it’s been quite difficult to stave off the temptation to label each and every one of them “the dumbest criminal.” This should be understandable to anyone who has read these stories, what with all the self-incrimination, Google-searching for tips on how to commit their crimes, and the taunting of LEOs. That said, I don’t know that I’ve ever experienced the temptation quite so strongly as I am with this knucklehead breaking into someone’s home, logging into his facebook account on the victim’s computer, and failing to log back out.

See, when James Wood returned to his Minnesota home one day, he found the house ransacked with tons of his stuff missing. In their place appeared to be only some wet clothes and shoes.

“I started to panic,” he said. “But then I noticed he had pulled up his Facebook profile.”

Wood posted to Facebook using Wig’s profile, saying Wig had burglarized his home. He even shared his phone number to see if someone would call with information. Wig texted him later that day.

Yeah, that seriously happened. Not only did Nicholas Wig, a 26 year old man with ostensibly enough brain-power to lift himself out of bed in the morning, leave his Facebook account logged into his victim’s computer, he actually responded to the messages Wood was inputting into his profile and contacted the phone number Wood left in hopes of catching the guy. Wood informed Wig that he’d left his clothes and shoes at his house when he was doing the world’s dumbest Ocean’s Eleven impression and offered to return them in exchange for some of the stolen items. But, I mean, come on. Nobody’s that stupid, right?

Wig agreed to meet with Wood later that night. Wood believes Wig was under the impression he would give him back some of his clothes he had left at his home in exchange for a recycled cell phone Wig had stolen. Wood, at his friend’s house, left for home. On his way back to his house he saw and recognized Wig, from his Facebook profile, walking on the street. He immediately called police.

“I’ve never seen this before,” Dakota County Attorney James Backstrom said. “It’s a pretty unusual case, might even make the late night television shows in terms of not being too bright.”

Oh. I, uh, appear to have been mistaken. Someone is that dumb and that someone’s name is Nicholas Wig. But, hey, you know, maybe this is all some kind of misunderstanding. I mean, it’s not like someone who actually stole stuff from a person would then return to the freaking scene of the crime to meet that same person, right?

Wig was wearing Wood’s watch when he found him. Police arrested him at the scene.

And just like that, a criminal defense attorney somewhere in Minnesota was handed a not-of-sound-mind defense.

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Comments on “Pro Tip: If You're Going To Break And Enter Someone's Home, Don't Log Into Your Facebook”

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zip says:

dumb criminal

Stories are all too common these days involving cops mistakenly pointing their guns at drivers (sometimes even shooting them) because their car might have distantly resembled the car reportedly driven by some bad guy.

So as far as public safety goes, here’s the ideal car thief — stealing something highly unlikely to get misidentified by even the most unobservant cop.
(presumably this was a ‘modern’ version that did not require hand cranking)

TheResidentSkeptic says:

Place your bets boys and girls..

*if* the defense attorney is at all aware of current interpretation of the law in various crazy courts – he will counter-sue Wood for CFAA, Impersonation, Slander (he WROTE that Wig stole his stuff)… and Wig will go free, while Wood goes to prison..

So… wanna bet on who wins/loses in this one?

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: curious that he didn't take the computer

“I’m curious that he didn’t take the computer itself.”

I’m curious whether he left in his underwear and wearing only a shirt. The original story doesn’t mention stolen clothes……

“His credit cards, cash and watch were all gone.

In their place, the thief had left a pair of Nike tennis shoes, jeans and a belt, that were all wet. Wood said it had been raining outside.”

WHY did he take off his clothes? To ransack the place but not wet the carpet ?!?? Were there any new funny marks on the carpet? I’m not sure I really want to know.

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