Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the i-need-a-coffee dept

The item that got the most attention this week was the news that Keurig plans to include what is essentially DRM in their upcoming line of “2.0” brewers. After the firestorm that post ignited, Keurig raced to put out a weak response discussing all the wonderful reasons that this technology is necessary. Arsik Vek won most insightful comment of the week for catching one of the many flaws in their message:

“It’s critical for performance and safety reasons that our new system includes this technology.”

So, are they admitting that current Keurig coffee machines are both improperly performing and dangerous? I mean, they lack this feature, right?

When Australian broadcasters complained that Netflix hadn’t blocked VPN users, thus giving all those Australian viewers choice and freedom, DB won second place for insightful with an excellent comparison, and exposure of the underlying hypocrisy:

I see this as the same situation as importing low-cost textbooks licensed for foreign markets.

Large companies want the benefits of an open world economy, moving production freely to optimize costs. But they don’t want their customers to have the have same freedom to buy where the prices are lower, or the selection is better.

In this case the media companies want to buy their content on the worldwide market, while restricting their customers from doing the same. They want the government to effectively grant them a distribution monopoly.

For editor’s choice on the insightful side, we’ll start with one more comment on that post, in which edpo underlined just how dumb it is to hate and fear VPNs:

Anyone attempting to criticize VPN’s in this day and age is clueless. I am on a VPN all day, for my privacy *and* because that is how my business is set up to work. I can be anywhere in the world and be sitting at my desk, working as I normally do and being productive. My personal interests (privacy and productivity) trump what some technophobe entertainment-industry lawyer thinks I should be doing to maximize his employer’s revenue. It’s absurd. If I were advocating for changes in *his* industry to help maximize my income at the expense of his employer’s interests, the absurdity would be even more obvious.

Next, we’ve got a response to the post about Homeland Security detaining US citizen Christine Von Der Haar and quizzing her about her sex life and relationship with Greek national Dimitris Papatheodoropoulos. The incident, and the explanation, gave silverscarcat an idea for a new rule for the government:

Any time a government agency says “national security”, an immediate investigation by reporters and non-government officials is to be launched to see why it’s considered that.

Over on the funny side, we start out by returning to the Keurig post, where sorrykb won first place by making the connection to an incredibly appropriate quote from Douglas Adams:

“When the ‘Drink’ button is pressed it makes an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject’s taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject’s metabolism, and then sends tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centres of the subject’s brain to see what is likely to be well received. However, no-one knows quite why it does this because it then invariably delivers a cupful of liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.”

For second place, we head back to the homeland security detainment post, where Michael offered a theory about the government’s motives:

They were doing this for the children!

Just think, if these two were married and hyphenated their names, their children would have to learn to spell Von Der Haar-Papatheodoropoulos and forever be unable to fill out government forms because there are not nearly enough boxes for all of those letters.

For editor’s choice on the funny side, we start out on the post about the UK’s porn filter architect being arrested on child porn charges. Quinn Wilde offered a funny and informative reply, putting this latest embarrassment in the context of the David Cameron government:

We need a Minister for Hypocrisy

For those who need a recap on David Cameron’s government:

His Chief Secretary to the Treasury had to resign after fiddling his expenses.

His Director of Communications had to resigned after being implicated in the phone hacking scandal.

His Secretary of State for Defence had to resign after giving his close friend unauthorised access to the Ministry of Defence.

His Immigration Minister had to resign after it emerged his cleaner did not have permission to work in the UK.

And now the architect of the UK porn filter has had to resign having been arrested on suspicion of possession of child pornography.

If only Cameron had a Minister for Hypocrisy this could be the most successful government of all time. Although, given form, he’d probably have to resign after being discovered telling the unequivocal truth about everything and, you know, holding himself to his own standards.

And finally, we’ve got a short and sweet anonymous comment, pointing out that the accusation that the CIA has been spying on the Senate Intelligence Committee has (unsatisfactorily) answered an old question:

I guess now we know who’s watching the watchers.

That’s all for this week, folks!

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