Lightning Strikes Twice: Wannabe Murderer Butt-Dials His Almost-Victim
from the what-an-ass dept
There’s a saying that goes: lightning never strikes the same place twice. That saying is complete garbage, of course, as Casey Wagner, the twice-struck target for God’s unholy wrath will happily tell you, but the point is that rare stuff is rare. And on the list of stuff that I would think would be especially rare would be murder-plotters butt-dialing the worst possible people while discussing their nefarious plans. We discussed this back in May, when a Florida man ass-rang 911 in the midst of a lovely little death-brainstorming session. I remember reading that just a few months ago and thinking, “Well, that’s certainly a once in a lifetime occurrence.”
As it turns out, it was a once in a few months occurrence, since the same damn thing happened again, only worse. This time, we have an Arkansas man who happily discussed murdering his former employee just after he butt-dialed his intended victim.
Jonesboro police arrested Larry Barnett, 68, on Thursday after being contacted by a Paragould man. The man told Detective Jason Simpkins he received a phone call at 12:30 p.m. from Barnett. He said it appeared Barnett had “unknowingly made” the phone call. The intended victim said he overheard Barnett give another man directions to his home in Paragould. During the call, which lasted approximately 1.5 hours and was ongoing when he contacted police, the victim said he overheard Barnett say, “I don’t care if you have to burn his house to the ground with him in it. I don’t care what you have to do, make it look like an accident.”
Now, I can’t be certain that it was an errant rear-cheek that did the dialing on this, but I’d like to think we’re going to see a defense argument for Barnett that states that his posterior was attempting a confession and should not be punished along with the rest of this jackass’s body. On the other hand, anyone dumb enough to accidentally call their victim while discussing a murder plot is probably too dangerously idiotic to be allowed to walk around in public, even putting the whole murder thing aside.
Chalk up another dumb criminal whose ass got his ass in the clink!