This Week's Bad Photoshopping Lesson Comes From Scientology

from the the-thetans-did-it dept

The universe has a sense of humor. I’m convinced of it. See, as someone who believes that humor is a wonderful way to deal with otherwise disheartening topics, I’m amazed at how often the world around me will give me something to laugh at when I’m feeling blue. Take the world’s current climate on the topic of religion, for instance. It’d be very easy to get down in the dumps over the Westboro Baptist Church, religious fundamentalists engaging in acts of terror, and the never-ending saga known as the Middle East “peace” process. None of those things are laughing matters. But then, reading the forlorn expression on my face, the universe sends me another story from the Church of Scientology.

The Tom-Cruise-iest religion on the planet took a break from their attempt to destroy free speech to celebrate the grand-mega opening of their new ironically named Ideal Organization in Portland by producing the worst photoshopped picture this side of the Iranian military.

The crowd was around 450-750 people. But the church claims it was more like 2,500, and it Photoshopped in the proof. Except the proof is about as convincing as your thetan’s origin story. In reality, there were no people in the right-hand side of the photo. There was actually a line of rented trees set up to block the view of people not so friendly to Scientology (see the photo below), as well as police blocking off a four-block radius for the event. And it’s not just that the picture was doctored, it’s that it was done quite poorly. They added people right on top of the trees in the altered section.

Tony Ortega has the two photos that demonstrate this. First was the “official” photo from the Church which is clearly photoshopped.

And then a shot from a different angle showing that the people on the right section above aren’t actually there.
What was an attempt to make turnout of the “event” look bigger than it was resulted in, at best, Scientology looking silly yet again for their combination of secretiveness and lying about their own events. Or, at worst, it suggests that Scientology turns human beings into a kind of hybrid tree-people, in which case we’re all going to be subject to an aphid plague that may undo all of humanity. Ahhhh!

So a word of friendly advice to my Scientologist friends: brainwashed graphic designers are a better asset than brainwashed Tom Cruises. For ever and ever. Amen.

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Comments on “This Week's Bad Photoshopping Lesson Comes From Scientology”

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Anonymous Coward says:

New Home

“The Church’s new home is the landmark Sherlock Building, originally constructed in 1893 and listed today on the National Register of Historic Places.”

I don’t know why that bothers me, but it does. Could there be some ulterior motive to their choosing a protected building as their “new home”?

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: New Home

Wait a damn minute. I seem to remember there being a law on the Portland books that if you owned a historic place, even if it was a residential building, you had to be open 1 day a year to all comers who wanted to see the inside of it (in order to allow people to experience history and view historical landmarks). Many homeowners chose Christmas Day, since they knew no one would ever show for it.

So we have access, and now all we need is someone with motive to do something terrible/awesome/hilarious.

The Real Michael says:

Re: Re: Re:

The FBI did investigate Scientology way back when (for tax fraud), but L.Ron Hubbard came up with the genius idea to send his followers to track agents’ every step, then threatened to go public with some of their more ‘questionable’ private activity. Needless to say, the investigation ceased.

The Libertarian says:

Re: L. Ron Hubbard

Scientology came out of a bet between Piers Anthony and L. Ron Hubbard as to who can make a successful religion. Apparently, L. Ron won the bet. I think L. Ron is laughing somewhere since Scientology is an exercise in how susceptible human beings are to an Authority figure.

Not to put down Christ, but Scientology shows how stupid people can be when it comes to following different philosophy. However, if you drop the philosophers of today in Hellenistic Greece or China of the Hundred Schools it would be a different environment. L. Ron and Piers would have a field day, and there would be no end to the competition.

Scientology is a philosophy since the religion came out of a bet and not out of spiritual inspiration. It might have been better if Scientology jump started another Golden Age of Philosophy — it would be interesting if that time period restarted all over again.

Louanne says:


Censored my other comment, didn’t you? Here is another one:

Photoshopped my ass…

Daily Mail, Washington Times, Gizmodo Australia, all pulled the story. Why: because it’s a LIE. No only the 2,500+ that were there (including myself) know that. Also those that know what a “extreme wide angle lens” is do.

That happens if you believe Tony Ortega: you get proven wrong in no time.

Ian says:

Quick to Judge and WRONG

What if I told the writer of this article and all you haters just waiting to dog pile on anything you deem less than yourself that YOU ARE WRONG? HERE”S THE PROOF! The video PROVES there were people there! Now, have you learned a lesson about rushing to judgement? So sad…

JonIE says:

Re: Quick to Judge and WRONG

The guy with the blue shirt in the bottom of the squared-off area has his twin standing next to him, doing the exact same pose, mirrored.

It obviously must have been photochopped from a picture taken at the same time, but from a different viewing angle.

Slide No.2 in the photo gallery is the full image:

Cowboy Bebop says:

I bet Tom did it.

ROFL WTF? I don’t get what they were thinking and you’d think with Hollywood they could have actually did it flawlessly.

I mean I’ve done far better work on random Reddit images lol.. Next time they may want to jump over to the Photoshop Gurus forum and pay a few bucks to get some work done that’s actually convincing.

Oh well tell next time, Hail Xenu.

Anonymous Coward says:

There is no “For ever and ever. Amen.” or anything remotely similar in Scientology.

Scientologists do not worship, pray or believe in God.

Instead adherents are taught to believe that they ARE God. Although it masquerades as a church for tax purposes, Scientology is really a long series of ‘self-help’ type courses where people are taught things like how to scream as ashtrays in an attempt to levitate them. Suckers who have spent many years in the cult and paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to reach the higher levels are supposed to have supernatural abilities and god-like powers.

Scientology is an elaborate scam to fleece the gullible.

teka (profile) says:

It also looks like the people in the far upper left section are also “digitally enhanced”.

The semi-overhead image seems to show the line of rented trees crossing the street somewhere between the black awnings of “Silverado”(male strip club) and the neighboring body-piercing shop (just before the exotic club, see the trace of red near the glare or light?) This pegs the blocked in crowd as an area only slightly wider than the frontage of the building at best, not stretching off into infinity down 3rd and Oak streets.

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