Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the which-do-people-care-about-more? dept

Well here’s a first. The top two vote getting posts for “most insightful,” both were for comments from the same person… our very own Marcus Carab. First up, was his comment concerning the story of Google putting the various Belgian newspapers back into its index, after they had sued Google for linking to them (and won), but then complained when Google stopped linking to them. While a lot of commenters suggested Google should punish the newspapers by banning them from the index permanently, Marcus thought otherwise, and apparently many of you agreed with him:

Google has nothing to gain by punishing them, and no desire to do so. It is NOT Google versus the content companies, and Google knows that (even if the content companies often don’t). Google wants newspapers to succeed and will gladly help them.

You know what’s far more valuable to Google than recouping some legal costs? Having more newspapers recognize that Google is not their enemy, and that they can all work together to everyone’s benefit. The last thing Google wants is more accusations of hoarding all the power and controlling the fate of the news industry.

Coming in a close second was Marcus’ comment concerning the MPAA’s bizarre brushing off of a group of the most respected technical experts pointing out that PROTECT IP, as written, will effectively break key parts of the internet and cause serious unintended consequences. I thought that the MPAA’s odd statements about the tech community innovating was just a statement brushing off the concerns, but Marcus interpreted it slightly differently, and in retrospect, I think his interpretation is probably correct:

Actually I think you might be missing the hidden message to Vixie, Kaminsky et al in their statement:

We are confident that America’s technology community, which leads the world in innovation and creativity, will be capable of developing a technical solution that helps address the serious challenge of rogue sites.

I read that as: “Yeah, we’ll break it – and you’ll fucking fix it, nerds.

Okay… for editor’s choice, we’ve got Josh in CharlotteNC, responding to that same story by explaining the technical solution that has already been given to the entertainment industry:

I actually have an issue with that part of statement. Here’s why:

The “technology community” has already given you a solution. Adapt your business model to the new reality of today instead of trying to turn the clock back to 20 years ago.

Don’t ask me for a “technical solution” to a problem that is not a technical problem. If you bring me a computer with a burnt out PSU or a cracked motherboard, don’t ask me for a software fix – it’s a hardware problem. Likewise, don’t ask me for a technical solution to an economic (business model) problem.

And, finally, we’ve got the always wonderful Mr. Smarta** explaining why the public had no seat at the table for the “six strikes” negotiations between ISPs and the entertainment industry:

The point of the entire six strikes process is not to stop piracy or stop “copyright infringement”. It’s to punish the world for having the audacity to share! By proclaiming guilt until proven otherwise, you’re paying up whether you like it or not. Even if it’s $35. Everybody is guilty until they can prove themselves innocent by shelling out hundreds of thousands of dollars for defense attorneys to prove otherwise. This is part of the new way of the internet. It’s the first stage. The second stage for the industry is to track each person, probably with tattooing a number on their forearms or tracking digitally with a personally identifying number that Obama wants to give everyone. I’m sure the third step is to place them in a centralized location so they can’t fight back.

They can pick any IP address they want and accuse you of anything they want, and you’re F*****! There is no defense. There is no safety net. You don’t get to fight it or defend yourself until the fifth strike, and by then it’s too late. Every politician, company owner, and representative who are on board with this might as well be wearing a black armband with a little symbol on it. Makes me freakin’ sick.

It’s the beginning of the end, peoples. We’re all cattle, and our masters are coming to slaughter us until we bleed whatever money we have. I’ll be investing my $35 in an anonymous VPN service, thank you very much.

Okay, onto the funny. Last week we had lots of overlap between the top insightful posts and the top funny posts. This week, not a single post made it into the top 20 of both lists. But that doesn’t make the winners any less funny. In first place came this comment from an Anonymous Coward, responding to the story of police shutting down the lemonade stand of some little girls by repurposing a famous old saying:

As the saying [now] goes

If life gives you lemons, don’t even think about making any fucking lemonade.

In second place we have another Anonymous Coward (who says Anonymous Cowards are all bad?), with one of the funniest responses to a rather incomprehensible comment from someone else. This AC sounded the alarm:

Hey Mike, you better fix your tubes. Some of the Internet is spilling in your comment section.

For editor’s choice, I’ve got two quick ones. The first, from Simon, was a simple question concerning those same Belgian newspapers being put back into Google’s index:

So… are these newspapers going to pay Google to be re-listed, or are they expecting it for nothing like a bunch of freetards?

And, I’m a bit hesitant to post this final one, because it definitely elicited a groan response from me… but it’s too well done to be left alone. Step on up, Mr. LemurBoy, for your spectacularly awful pun-filled discussion of the woman threatened with jailtime for planting a vegetable garden in her front yard:

I think we need to get to the root of this problem and stem these bad laws. If they won’t leaf a woman like this alone, you can be sure they’ll branch out and come for the rest of us. Lettuce pray it never reaches that point. I know I don’t want the police to turnip at my door if I embed a video. Of course, against the lobbying power of MAFIAA, I doubt our efforts will be worth a hill of beans.

On that note, I know you’ll want to wash your brain out with some new comments, so get to it…

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