Nobody Thinks Online Dating Is A Substitute For The Real Thing

from the finding-a-first-date dept

Unlike Brad Stone at the Times tech blog, I think webcam-based speed dating is a promising idea, and if I were single I'd probably try it out. Stone points out two objections to the concept, neither of which seems especially compelling. One is that "for a certain demented kind of person, live Web cameras are an invitation for nudity and public displays of self-affection." That doesn't strike me as a very serious obstacle, though. For one thing, as any woman who's tried old fashioned online dating (is online dating old enough to be called "old-fashioned" yet?) will tell you, men already send women inappropriate pictures of themselves using traditional personals sites. Secondly, this kind of abuse should be pretty easy to deter by asking for contact information, perhaps verified with a credit card. Few men are likely to expose themselves on a site that's keeping a video recording of the conversation and has their contact information on file. The other objection is that "brief, Web-brokered Internet chat sessions might not be the best gauge of whether an enduring connection is possible." But that objection applies to any online dating service—yet lots of people find Internet dating useful. The point of online dating services (and real-life “speed dating” services, which have also become popular) isn’t to decide who to marry, and it’s never been a substitute for more traditional dates. The point is to help you efficiently find people who seem worth the time and expense of a first date. If a service like this helps you avoid a date where the girl stares at her plate and mumbles to herself the whole meal, that seems like time and money well spent.

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Comments on “Nobody Thinks Online Dating Is A Substitute For The Real Thing”

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dorpus says:

Punishing the Wrongdoers

People think the net is a “safe” place to act greedy, immoral. In return, I enjoy torturing the gold diggers, perverts, etc. in ways I wouldn’t do in real life. I’ve read books on police interviewing tactics to use their own words against them. Of course, I’ve also been able to find sincere people this way also — I’ve never been disappointed.

I’ve had plenty of success in meeting normal, respectable women online. My current girlfriend will be spending Thanksgiving with me.

Neal says:

Ummm, send those women to me

I’d like to meet a few women that spend dinner staring at their plate and mumbling to themselves. I never have any luck with any of the others, they’re too busy flirting with guys from other tables and accepting drinks. Maybe a couple of those girls you mention would end up being shy, self-conscious, introverted, sweethearts just like me.

Anonymous Sloth says:

Re: Ummm, send those women to me

Unfortunately for said women, it seems that 99.9999% of men who describe themselves as “shy, self-conscious, introverted, sweethearts” are, in actuality, self-absorbed, dependent pussies with a victim complex. Perhaps you’re one in a million, but with odds like that, you probably aren’t.

TheDock22 says:

I actually met my guy online...

Good ole’ fashioned Yahoo! Personals too. His opening line was talking about his tattoo and I was intrigued. After a few hours we realized we went to the same high school and graduated the same year, but hung around with different crowds so we just never crossed paths. That was about four years ago and we are still doing well. And he never sent me any inappropriate pictures.

ehrichweiss says:


I have to say that I’ve met a girlfriend or two through dating sites and I saw enough success to start my own local dating site. My mother-in-law met her current borefriend through Match..though HE will be the one getting the surprise since I’m betting she can’t “hide the crazy” long enough to get him in a relationship; she’s one of the few that I’ve ever met that can take a 15 year relationship, drop it without a second thought and be moving full forward to snag another sucker in under 2 weeks.

Paul (user link) says:

Online Dating Profile

Online dating can be very rewarding, and millions of people have found their soul mate online.

It is a great way to reach out to people you would never have a chance to meet, and connect with them.

The major key to online dating is setting up a magnetic profile, that attracts those similar to you.

Not any profile will cut it, you must create an edge over the competition, which is fierce.

For a free report on how to set up a magnetic profile visit Online date secrets

Marlon (user link) says:

Great idea but...

I think whoever came up with the idea of webcam speed dating is pretty close to genius level, but alas you’re going to get a lot of married guys and perverts ruining the services. These guys don’t care who sees them naked – the proof being that their first email to most women on dating sites is a picture of their undersized “equipment”.

On a side note online dating doesn’t seem to be so alternative anymore either – it’s more the norm now from what I see?

jane says:

online dating

If you’re tired of the normal, boring online dating sites welcome to something new – features extended member profiles with images,videos,events, online chat and an integrated instant messaging system for one-on-one, real-time communication. Remember it only takes mintues to sign up using our easy sign up process. ?Be part of something new? – JOIN SUGAONLINE .COM TODAY !

tao system (user link) says:

Meet In The Real World

There is not better way of finding your soul mate than in the real world. Meeting someone behind a computer screen is for people that have no confidence to go out and make an effort to approach someone in the real world and start a conversation. At least that way you can see what they look like immediately and get to know them within a few minutes.

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