Stan’s Techdirt Profile

On the post: Unintended Consequences Of EU's New Internet Privacy Rules: Facebook Won't Use AI To Catch Suicidal Users

Stan ( profile ), 30 Jan, 2018 @ 10:52am

A New GDPR Right

Thanx, GDPR, for codifying the "Right to Self-Termination Without Busybodies Asking You to Reconsider."

On the post: After The 'Octopus Incident' White House Threatened To Stop 'Menacing Logos' From Spy Satellites

Stan ( profile ), 18 Jan, 2018 @ 02:57pm

What does that logo say?

>"The good news is that neither Lewis nor Clark look menacing."

Hey injuns! Guess who owns your land now?!?

On the post: Court Tosses Cop's Attempt To Sue Twitter And Facebook For Someone Killing Cops In Texas

Stan ( profile ), 12 Dec, 2017 @ 11:52am

Might 1-800-LAW-FIRM represent me.

I live in a country where un-armed minorities are often killed by police. These same police have newsletters (i.e. social media) that are published by the local police union. These newsletters are "radicalizing" their officers. The publishers have become advocates of crime against un-armed civilians and thus should have any immunity stripped from them.

Does anyone think that 1-800-LAW-FIRM might represent me?

On the post: Appeals Court: Forcing A Teen To Masturbate So Cops Can Take Pictures Is A Clear Violation Of Rights

Stan ( profile ), 06 Dec, 2017 @ 02:43pm

Children's civics class

In future children's civics class, they should teach that children need not masturbate upon orders from police officers...especially if one of the officers wants to take pictures...and even more so if any of the officers has a hard-on. And if your civics class is being taught by Judge Jan Roltsch-Anoll, tell her to wank off.

On the post: Verizon Begins Throttling Wireless Users, Effectively Bans 4K Streaming

Stan ( profile ), 22 Aug, 2017 @ 04:38pm

Buzz Lightyear: "To infinity...and beyond!"

Verizon: "Beyond Unlimited:"

Does anyone else see the similarity?

On the post: Psychiatrist Files Lawsuit Over Wordless One-Star Review

Stan ( profile ), 03 Aug, 2017 @ 04:10pm

Reality?

The question now is: which person has the least grip on reality? The psychiatrist or his lawyer?

On the post: There Is An Easy Answer To Whether Machines Should Get Copyright Rights And It Comes Down To Copyright's Purpose

Stan ( profile ), 07 Jul, 2017 @ 11:50am

RE: Similar to the monkey selfie

Giving copyright ownership to AI will prove to be a slippery slope.

Because once AI's are granted these rights, then surely monkeys will be demanding them next.

After that...invertebrates?

On the post: NSA Continues To Dodge 'Incidental Collection' Question, Wants Its 'About' Surveillance Program Back

Stan ( profile ), 05 Jul, 2017 @ 05:02am

NSA violating privacy

"Producing the number would... potentially violate Americans’ privacy in the process, Brooker said..."

Parsing this leads to two possibilities:
1) The NSA is seriously concerned about their practices in regard to privacy or
2) they are so maxed out with violating citizens' privacy's that they simply can't violate any more at this time.

I wonder which one it is.

On the post: Colorado Voters Will Get A Chance To Prevent Preteens From Using Smartphones

Stan ( profile ), 22 Jun, 2017 @ 09:52am

We've heard this before...

This all sounds so, so familiar. Like way back in the 1950's when preachers and school principals were predicting doom and gloom because comic books "...ARE ADDICTIVE, HARMFUL, AND DANGEROUS IN THE HANDS OF CHILDREN."

Just imagine the outcry when Dr Farnum discovers that 12-year-olds can read comic books on their smartphones! And do you know what that leads to? Porn!

On the post: DOJ Officials Express An Interest In Prosecuting Leakers And Whistleblowers

Stan ( profile ), 25 May, 2017 @ 04:56pm

We the people

Sessions replied. “... It’s almost as if people think they have a right to violate the law..." Or that citizens have a right to find out just who in the administration is lying to them and how often.

On the post: Comcast Under Fire For Using Bullshit Fees To Covertly Raise Rates

Stan ( profile ), 01 May, 2017 @ 12:05pm

Croissants from Comcast

25 cent* Croissants from Comcast kitchens!
25 cents* lifetime cost guaranteed! Only 25 cents!*

*(some additionally self-imposed non-regulatory mandated fees may be applied including, but not limited to, the following: yeast activation fee, water purification charge, sugar importation offset, flour grinding expense, butter purity / bovine inspection costs, oven operation surcharge, poison control expense, profit margin protection offset, Property Tax adjustment, billing information verification fee, politician payoffs, et cetera ad infinitum)

Final cost is copyrighted and is not available until after payment.

[daily croissant consumption limit may be imposed/changed without prior notification]

On the post: Want To Promote Breastfeeding? That's A Trade Barrier, Says US Trade Rep

Stan ( profile ), 30 Apr, 2017 @ 01:06pm

Criminalizing non-tariff barrier activities?

Somewhere in the USA, corporate lobbyists are gathering and secretly making plans to criminalize non-tariff barrier activities. Which will lead to the following warning:
Use a tit, go to jail. It's the law!

On the post: Court: No Immunity For Federal Agent Who Made Elderly Woman Stand In Urine-Soaked Pants For Two Hours While He Questioned Her

Stan ( profile ), 19 Apr, 2017 @ 08:19am

His training???

When a government agent prevents a senior citizen from changing out of urine-soaked underwear (after causing her to pee in them), you have to wonder: "Where did he get his training?"

Then it comes to you: at United Airlines.

(The proceeding message was brought to you by United...the "FUCK YOU" airline.)

On the post: Legal Threat From Creator Of Wall St. Bull Statue Even More Full Of Bull Than Expected

Stan ( profile ), 13 Apr, 2017 @ 10:05am

That law firm...

That law firm might consider changing their name to:
Dewey, DuCrack and Howe.

On the post: No, You Can't Buy Congress's Internet Data, Or Anyone Else's

Stan ( profile ), 30 Mar, 2017 @ 02:10am

Shhhhhh ! ! !

Mike wrote: "No, You Can't Buy Congress's Internet Data..."

Correct, but does Congress know that? Not likely! And the thought of THEIR browser histories being sold might have caused them to reverse themselves.

Too late now, I suppose...

On the post: What Should We Add Next To The Techdirt Gear Store?

Stan ( profile ), 26 Feb, 2017 @ 02:28am

Math nerd t-shirt?

Would TD be interested in a math nerd (yet funny) t-shirt design?

On the post: Apple Says Nebraska Will Become A 'Mecca For Hackers' If Right To Repair Bill Passes

Stan ( profile ), 21 Feb, 2017 @ 03:36pm

phones and farm equipment

"... industry lobbyists told lawmakers in Minnesota that broken glass could cut the fingers of consumers who try to repair their screens..."

I predict that John Deere lobbyists will show up with pictures of severed fingers from when farmers tried to fix their own mowers.

On the post: Trump Campaign Wants To Trademark 'Keep America Great'

Stan ( profile ), 25 Jan, 2017 @ 11:59am

Great Again?

I saw a video clip of Pres. Ronald Reagan using this phrase during one of his campaigns.

If phrase like this a "trademark-able", then doesn't that imply that Donald used Reagan's material, presumably without permission?

On the post: Dunks And Drunks: Jagermeister Blocks Milwaukee Bucks Logo Trademark Application

Stan ( profile ), 20 Dec, 2016 @ 02:55pm

random comments

"there are fairly distinct differences ...that would probably keep any customer confusion at bay."

Unless the customer had a few beers and attempts to purchase the Milwaukee Bucks.

And later on..."both of whom converted to Christianity after experiencing a vision" Kick-ass beer will do that to you. No wonder college kids like it.

p.s. the video link is intended for viewers who are thinking of trying Jagermeister

On the post: One Fish Two Fish, We Will Sue Fish: Seuss Lawyers Hop On Pop Art

Stan ( profile ), 15 Nov, 2016 @ 12:39pm

I wonder...

I wonder if the first artist said to the second artist:
"Do you think they will sueus?"

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