n00bdragon 's Techdirt Comments

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  • On the post: Capital One Says Money Laundering, Not January 6 Riot, Led To Shutdown Of Trump Accounts

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 04 Aug, 2026 @ 01:13pm

    I worked for a large financial institution for many years and I know a bit about how the Bank Secrecy Act works. It's an important nuance to point out that just because Capital One closed their accounts doesn't mean the various Trump-aligned orgs were definitely, probably, or were even suspected of committing a crime. Now, before all you people saying I'm covering for Trump get your panties in a twist, it also doesn't mean that weren't committing or suspected of committing any crimes. The BSA doesn't make any judgement on whether crimes are (probably) being committed. It is an (intentionally) opaque set of rules enforced on financial institutions that restrict who they can maintain accounts for and what kind of activity they can or can't tolerate in those accounts. Activity which might force the bank to terminate an account might not even be illegal. As is pointed out in the bottom of the story, the responsibility for the rules lies with the government and part of the rules is that the bank can't tell you which rules you broke to get the axe. It's a lot like the TSA's notorious No Fly list but for banking. You can't sue the airline for refusing to board you and your options for contesting your situation are extremely limited. Personally, I'm not a fan of the BSA for this reason as it does create a set of "shadow laws" under which even intentionally trying to not break them can be taken as a violation. But Trump et al are absolutely wrecking themselves when they should be checking themselves here. One of the downsides of the BSA is that by forcing private companies to proactively take action, there's an incentive in law enforcement to just let a lot of stuff slide and not investigate any further. Now the Trumpistas want to drag their own dirty laundry out in the sun and put a magnifying glass to just how dirty it was. I don't have any hope that Todd Blanche of all people would initiate an investigation into his own boss's son's possible misdoings but this is all but handing the next administration a possible layup prosecution on a silver platter. I cannot imagine a more insanely awful legal strategy.

  • On the post: Trump Spends The Weekend Fighting For The $1.776 Billion Slush Fund His Chosen Attorney General Swears Is Dead

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 03 Aug, 2026 @ 07:26pm

    In the words of JC Denton: Do you have one single fact to back that up?

  • On the post: Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 03 Aug, 2026 @ 06:03am

    Your local grocer has goose?

  • On the post: A Blackout Protest Over Sony Ditching Disks Is Brewing

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 28 Jul, 2026 @ 09:03pm

    If every single one of those 345k people burned their PS5 in protest and swore a blood oath to never give Sony another dollar they wouldn't notice. Even if they did, if it increases their profit margin by more than 0.37%, they'd cry all the way to the bank.

  • On the post: AI Systems Out-Persuade Expert Humans, Including Professional Canvassers And World Championship Debaters

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 28 Jul, 2026 @ 06:26am

    Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you look at it), this isn't a new problem. People have been handing political and economic power to people who project confidence over demonstrating ability for millennia. An essential part of growing up and becoming educated is not just learning facts but also learning to evaluate people who claim to have them. Many adults are not great at it (as evidenced by the endless history of scams). Hopefully in the future, by necessity, society starts more rigorously training kids to spot a charlatan.

  • On the post: DOJ Withdraws NY Times Subpoenas After Judge Notices It Never Bothered To Follow The Rules For Subpoenaing Reporters

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 25 Jul, 2026 @ 06:09am

    Judge: You didn't tell the judge that the subpoena was about reporters, about the New York Times? Sullivan: We did not. It was an oversight. Later we did legal research.
    "Your honor we didn't realize the story in the New York Times was written by reporters." is certainly... a take.

  • On the post: Trump Fires Court-Appointed US Attorney One Hour After Appointment, Immediately Gets Sued

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 25 Jul, 2026 @ 05:56am

    It also renders the whole confirmation process moot as well. The delay in the confirmation process is so that all the senators from the 13 colonies can travel to Boston by horse, not so that the president gets an endlessly repeating four month free trial.

  • On the post: Government Lawyers Say Trump Admin Can Use TikTok Again Because ‘Owned’ No Longer Means ‘Owned’

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 23 Jul, 2026 @ 09:21pm

    I think the twisted logic being used here is that because Bytedance may own a non-zero quantity of shares in many companies, by that posters own insane reading of the law, the government must be prohibited from using anything at all, because Bytedance owning <0 shares of something poisons the well so to speak. AC should apply to be a lawyer for the government. They really like people like him these days.

  • On the post: DOJ Now Citing Fake AI-Generated Cases To Keep ICE Detainees Locked Up

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 22 Jul, 2026 @ 04:29pm

    Given that kind of work environment, is it really any surprise that the few remaining DOJ lawyers would turn to hallucinating AI tools to “generate” their legal filings?
    Yes. Lawyers are responsible for the things they submit in court. That's literally the beginning and the end of their job description: being responsible for the position their client wants to make in court. That is why we, as a society, have lawyers. They are legal professionals. In fact, getting it right is so important that they make you go to extra school for many years and then take a test and then join a guild. The entire point of all of this is to have some kind of standards. Imagine for a moment if doctors were allowed to use AI to conjure up test results for their patients and then use that as a basis for treating them. Oops, sorry about the chemo. Don't blame me. ChatGPT told me you had cancer. Let's call citing non-existing cases what it is: lies. It is lying. It is equally as bad as if the lawyer made up the cases from their own imagination rather than using a random text generator to concoct it. Refraining from telling lies in court is not a "best practice". It should be the very most basic elementary requirement, even more essential than wearing clothes. That it's happening in cases where peoples' freedom is at stake is almost beyond the point. It is a firetruck showing up at a burning building with no water. The fact that there are people trapped in the inferno doesn't make it worse. It is the level at which the people supposedly here to help should just leave.

  • On the post: Administration Works Fast To Cover For Another ICE Killing

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 22 Jul, 2026 @ 11:18am

    So, assuming Mullin gets the chop I can only wonder who they plan to sacrifice offer the job to next. Presumably someone even more incapable of predicting how this will inevitably turn out. How does Trump do it? Where does he find all these people willing to jump off a cliff for him?

  • On the post: xAI, Which Is Being Sued Over Grok’s CSAM Problem, Sues a User Over Grok’s CSAM Problem

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 21 Jul, 2026 @ 09:02pm

    1. This lawsuit seeks: (i) a judicial declaration that Defendant violated Plaintiff’s applicable Terms of Service and Acceptable Use Policy, (ii) enforcement of the indemnification provisions contained therein, (iii) injunctive relief preventing Defendant from creating additional accounts or further circumventing Plaintiff’s safeguards, and (iv) all damages to which Plaintiff is entitled, including attorneys’ fees and costs.
    Most TOS violations end with you getting banned from the service. Is there really a court ready to entertain the idea that breaking TOS can leave you liable for attorney fees? Which other TOSs have most of us already signed onto which could then be sued for breaking? I get that this is mostly legal posturing because they want a court to stamp its seal of approval on their having nothing to do with this, but the devil is always in the details.

  • On the post: Federal Judge Nukes Trump’s Self-Dealt IRS ‘Settlement,’ Sends Lawyers To The Bar

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 14 Jul, 2026 @ 02:04pm

    For once, Thad and I are wholeheartedly in agreement. Here's hoping for sanctions and/or disbarment!

  • On the post: How Google And AI Nearly Made A Seasoned Reporter Spiral

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 11 Jul, 2026 @ 03:02pm

    It depends on your definition of "silly" I think. The root problem is people assuming that Google's AI search result is in any way authoritative. In a way, I feel sorry for Google on this one. The AI is simply reading a bunch of search results and producing a summary of what it finds therein. In that extremely limited sense, it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It can't (and can't be expected to) call phone numbers or double check LinkedIn profiles. People just need to stop ascribing intelligent thought to fancy autocomplete. Though, I get it, "When will people stop being dumb?" is a rhetorical question that will always disappoint.

  • On the post: Adults Broke The Internet, And They’re Trying To Fix It By Kicking Kids Off

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 10 Jul, 2026 @ 12:52pm

    You're an awesome person who just made my day. Thank you very very much.

  • On the post: Adults Broke The Internet, And They’re Trying To Fix It By Kicking Kids Off

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 10 Jul, 2026 @ 09:50am

    Bluesky is unusable by anyone of any age in Texas this morning thanks to the site's proactive decision to force age verification on all users.

  • On the post: Fifth Circuit Says Gov’t Can Violate Migrants’ Due Process Rights… But Only For 90 Days

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 08 Jul, 2026 @ 03:06pm

    Trick question! It doesn't matter, because knowing, understanding, following, and applying the law is for peons. For the government, ignorance of the law is the perfect excuse. Also, since there are no penalties for government noncompliance other than "file another lawsuit in district court... and wait" I'm sure this 90-day deadline is going to be taken extremely seriously by ICE.

  • On the post: ESA Lobbying Against ‘Stop Killing Games’: Hosting Private Minecraft Servers Is Illegal Piracy

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 07 Jul, 2026 @ 09:36pm

    Gibbons cut in: “They’re illegal. They are not in any way affiliated with Microsoft. Microsoft, for Minecraft, has gotten a lot of criticism because of those community servers not employing the same safety standards that Microsoft does on their Minecraft servers.”
    Imagine applying this nonsense to literally any other aspect of life. Cooking food is illegal because your kitchen doesn't have the same safety standards as... uh... *checks notes* a corporate cafeteria? Owning a house is illegal because it doesn't have the same "safety standards" as a prison cell?

  • On the post: The Courts’ Solution To Overpriced Court Records: Make Them More Expensive

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 07 Jul, 2026 @ 12:52pm

    Why stop at $0.12? Why not $12.00 per page? Surely that would get them all the funding they need and more. What are you going to do? Use an alternative system? Lawyers are just going to bill their clients anyway and I don't think any law firm would complain about being more expensive.

  • On the post: The Supreme Court Upholds The Constitution. Barely.

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 01 Jul, 2026 @ 04:13pm

    Because that's not my position and never has been my position. You may disagree with me, and that's fine, but you're assuming stuff about me that is honestly really gross and reflects more poorly upon you than me.

  • On the post: The Supreme Court Upholds The Constitution. Barely.

    n00bdragon ( profile ), 01 Jul, 2026 @ 04:10pm

    I know you're baiting the assumption that it's the 2nd but too late. He already shat on that one too. Remember the bump stock ban? The entire document is meaningless to Trumpists.

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