Jeffrey Nonken 's Techdirt Comments

Latest Comments (1260)

• On the post: Public Domain Monkey Selfie Now In A Trademark Application, Using Photoshopped Gap Images [Updated!]

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 18 Nov, 2014 @ 09:37am

  The Gap will sue in East Texas and will end up owning the shirt, the drawing, the photo of the monkey, the photographer, and the monkey. Ten minutes later they'll sue Techdirt for defamation and Marc Randazza will send a mocking letter. The Supreme Court will find it so funny they'll reverse the lower court's decision and also declare the monkey legally a person. The monkey will end up owning the photographer, the drawing, the Gap, and East Texas. However, the Gap's photo will be declared public domain and turn out to be responsible for encrypting a telephone with a song on it. It will be arrested by the RIAA arm of the NSA in a violent conflict involving Pennsylvania school campus police bearing M79 grenade launchers and M16 rifles and driving armored military vehicles. The photo will fight back by pointing a half-eaten bagel and making "Pew! Pew!" noises, killing 6 and hospitalizing 15.

• On the post: DailyDirt: How Many Passwords Do You Know?

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 13 Nov, 2014 @ 05:24pm

  Keepass + BtSync FTW.

• On the post: You Too Can Finally Join the Modern Broadband Era For the Rock Bottom Price of $20,000

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 13 Nov, 2014 @ 05:12pm

  Comcast wants $32k to hook up my employer. We're a few blocks away from their nearest coverage. The area is zoned commercial/industrial, so it's not like it's just us. Our choices are: AT&T or two Dixie cups and a string. We chose AT&T.
  
  Some days I think we made the wrong choice.

• On the post: Ontario Police Inspector Says He Wants A 'Driver's License For The Internet'

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 12 Nov, 2014 @ 05:00pm

  If all anonymity were eliminated, and everybody on the Internet can always know who is speaking, then I expect that Internet bullying will be replaced with real-life bullying: any unpopular opinion I might express (like being pro-life, pro-choice, pro-feminism, pro-racism, pro-LGBT, pro-Obama, pro-welfare, pro-religion, pro-cello-music, pro-teaching-children-about-sex...) or any argument I might get into (let's say for instance I was in a multiplayer game and *gasp* MADE A MISTAKE...) has a significant chance of resulting in pissed-off people showing up on my doorstep with violence in their hearts and the hardware to express it.
  
  Of course, if it's only the police that have access to this information, then only the police will show up at my doorstep with violence in their hearts and the hardware to express it, the latter thoughtfully provided by the U.S. Government by way of the military. Only the police, that is, or their friends. Or hackers, because we know what happens to massive databases and backdoors only the police have access to. Or friends of the hackers. Or anybody the hackers decide to release the information to. So... pretty much anybody.

• On the post: Student Facing Terroristic Threat Charges After Decorating High School Bathroom With Laughable 'Satanic' Graffiti

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 11 Nov, 2014 @ 08:41am

  "...being stupid in public."
  
  Yeah, I was a teenager once myself. That didn't use to be a crime.

• On the post: A Dystopian Future Of Ads That Won't Stop Until You Say 'McDonald's' Could Be Avoided With More Transparency

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 03 Nov, 2014 @ 03:17pm

  So... if you're mute, the commercial will go on forever?

• On the post: DailyDirt: Cyborgs All Around Us

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 31 Oct, 2014 @ 04:45pm

  Required reading

  Cyborg by Martin Caidin. Classic SF they turned into a TV show. Sorry, two TV shows.

• On the post: This Week In Techdirt History: October 19th – 25th

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 26 Oct, 2014 @ 03:03am

  All those poor, poor unemployed Pony Express riders. Not to mention the infrastructure for keeping and caring for the horses... the economy took a body blow that day from which it has never recovered.

• On the post: FBI Wants To Know If Applicants Have Been Downloading Unauthorized Content

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 15 Oct, 2014 @ 05:13pm

  Polygraphs? Polygraphs?!?! Polygraphs are garbage voodoo magic. Might as well use Phrenology.

• On the post: FBI Director Angry At Homebuilders For Putting Up Walls That Hide Any Crimes Therein

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 26 Sep, 2014 @ 09:17am

  A couple decades ago there was a controversy in Pennsylvania regarding concealed carry permits. (Or, hell, it could have been nationwide, I didn't pay close attention, and my memory isn't clear.) The media were invariably calling such a permit a "license to kill". In fact, I think the only thing you could hear on TV for weeks was the phrase "License to kill", just repeated over and over. Now, no matter where you stand on the second amendment, I'm pretty sure that if you're being rational you'll understand the difference between "legal permission to carry your weapon out of sight" and "legal permission to use your weapon to kill at whim". But hey, let's not let sanity or perspective get in the way of using a clever turn of phrase borrowed from your favorite spy thriller.
  
  I don't see that anything has changed since then. Seems like the brainless monkeys that run this country are waving their genitals around and throwing their poop more than ever.

• On the post: Law Professor Claims Any Internet Company 'Research' On Users Without Review Board Approval Is Illegal

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 24 Sep, 2014 @ 04:56pm

  n.b. The "Pepsi Challenge" taste test that was started in 1975 is not research, it's a marketing ploy in research's clothing. The whole point wasn't to determine which was more popular, Coke or Pepsi, but to get you thinking in terms of "Coke or Pepsi" exclusive of any other brand of cola. A false dilemma writ planet-sized. We are being manipulated.
  
  (Not that this detracts from your argument in any way, and could possibly reinforce it. I just thought I'd toss in a bit of tangential tinfoil hattism for anybody who wasn't feeling paranoid enough. Carry on.)

• On the post: Senator Saxby Chambliss Insists That NSA Reform Would Help ISIS… Despite Having Nothing To Do With ISIS Surveillance

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 24 Sep, 2014 @ 12:01pm

  "...why not just mandate that every human being in the US walk around with a camera and microphone recording everything they say and do...?"
  
  ... With automatic shutoff any time they are within 30 feet, hearing, or line-of-sight of any police officer or federal agent. Of course.

• On the post: LA School District Reluctantly Gives Up The Grenade Launchers The Pentagon Gave Them

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 23 Sep, 2014 @ 10:31am

  Re:

  http://world.guns.ru/grenade/usa/m79-e.html

• On the post: LA School District Reluctantly Gives Up The Grenade Launchers The Pentagon Gave Them

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 23 Sep, 2014 @ 10:30am

  Re: 40 mm

  According to the list that Muckrock posted (https://muckrock.s3.amazonaws.com/foia_files/California_Agency_Inventory_as_of_06-25-2014.xlsx) it's three M79s.

• On the post: NYPD Puts Terrorism On The Run By Ordering Twitter To Turn Over Parody Account User Data 'Linked' To Brooklyn Bridge Flag-Switching

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 11 Aug, 2014 @ 10:31am

  Dump these guys into downtown Davis without a native guide.
  
  I know, it's a terrible thing to do to a New Yorker. The carnage will be horrible! But the survivors will come out hardened, more liberal and with a healthy respect for the all-powerful bicycle enterprise. (Also a craving for Thai food and sushi.)
  
  But they'll never get rid of the taste of bugs.

• On the post: Recording Industry Exec Says It's Not Censorship To Block Sites He Doesn't Like

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 11 Aug, 2014 @ 09:24am

  I don't think Medwenitsch should be allowed to speak on this subject. It obviously serves no legitimate purpose.

• On the post: Google Now Using HTTPS As A (Very Slight) Ranking Signal In Search To Encourage More Encryption

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 07 Aug, 2014 @ 04:23pm

  My take is that rather than SSL being an indicator of possible quality of the underlying web site, they may be thinking of it being a quality in and of itself. IOW, all other things being equal, an encrypted site is of higher quality than an non-encrypted site because it's encrypted.

• On the post: Randy Queen Keeps Digging: Issues DMCA Takedown On Blog Post About Him Issuing DMCA Takedowns

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 05 Aug, 2014 @ 03:10pm

  The problem with the First Rule of Holes is that it starts with "If you find yourself at the bottom of one...". Finding yourself anywhere requires a modicum of situational- and self-awareness. I suspect Mr. Queen hasn't looked up lately.

• On the post: Minority Astroturf Group Gets Comcast-Affiliated News Site To Remove Article About Minority Astroturfing On Net Neutrality

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 04 Aug, 2014 @ 10:50am

  "We're sure that's just a coincidence though."
  
  Dude. You owe me a new sarcasm detection meter. This one just exploded.

• On the post: UK Government Report Recommends Ending Online Anonymity

  

  Jeffrey Nonken ( profile ), 30 Jul, 2014 @ 02:21pm

  ...time after time, we noted examples of basic detective work allowing police to track down the criminals.
  
  Like reading Facebook.

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