Dumb Criminal Agrees To Take SnapChat Selfie With Robbery Victim, Is Caught Quickly

from the let's-chat dept

We used to do cover a certain type of story around here, where we informed our readers about some truly dumb criminals doing truly dumb things with technology. We stopped doing those posts more recently, in part because they were starting to feel stale and in part because we didn't want to force our readers to confront the true levels of stupidity that exist on this planet. But, like a member of the Corleone family, they just keep pulling me back in.

Victor Almanza-Martinez is just an armed robber looking for love in all the wrong places apparently, as he and two others decided to rob four people of their belongings in California, but took a break from the robbery to exchange SnapChat information and take a selfie with one of the female victims.

It occurred at Lovers Point Park, according to the Pacific Grove Police Department. Victor Almanza-Martinez, 18, of Castroville, and two other men allegedly approached four victims and robbed them of their belongings, including keys to a 2013 black Chrysler 200. The suspects fled in the Chrysler, which is still missing, but not before Almanza-Martinez and one of the female victims exchanged Snapchat information and posed for a selfie together, police said.
I don't understand anyone in this story. I can't picture myself being robbed by even the most attractive armed woman on the planet and thinking: that's someone I should really try to hook up with. I only hope that this young lady was using her feminine wiles specifically in the hopes of catching her assailants, but since there are no quotes from the woman indicating that, hope is all I have. And then I try to put myself in the shoes of Almanza-Martinez in the midst of committing a crime in which one of my victims asks if they could please get just a bit of super-incriminating evidence. Under what circumstances would I agree to this? None.

And, of course, the selfie turned out to be just the break the police needed to nab this idiot.
The selfie was apparently a break in the case, police said, adding that it helped them track down Almanza-Martinez. The suspect was subsequently arrested and charged with armed robbery, kidnapping, possession of stolen property, conspiracy, violation of probation and gang enhancements. Almanza-Martinez is being held at the Monterey County Jail with bail set at $170,000.
Dude. Learn to criminal better.


Reader Comments

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  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 13 Jan 2016 @ 4:04pm

    You can't fix stupid.

    -Ron White

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 13 Jan 2016 @ 4:04pm

    We used to do cover? It's the first line for chrissakes!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Rick in Florida, 13 Jan 2016 @ 4:10pm

    Dumb Criminals

    Don't fix stupid! These are the ones our police forces can actually catch! I wish they were ALL this stupid.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 13 Jan 2016 @ 5:05pm

      Re: Dumb Criminals

      If you don't let some of the Stupid back into the ecosystem to reproduce, you're just an evolutionary force in favor of Smart. Your only hope then is to wipe out all the Smart at one go before they can multiply. And you KNOW that's not gonna happen.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 13 Jan 2016 @ 5:13pm

    God help him if the police search his phone and find a couple mp3's and/or movies he downloaded without the gatekeeper's permission. He could be looking at some seriously ridiculous time in prison, like maybe... life plus 70 years.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 13 Jan 2016 @ 6:06pm

    I can't picture myself being robbed by even the most attractive armed woman on the planet and thinking: that's someone I should really try to hook up with.
    What are her priors?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    orbitalinsertion (profile), 14 Jan 2016 @ 1:55am

    But encryption!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Ninja (profile), 14 Jan 2016 @ 5:33am

    I wonder when we'll see a criminal dumb enough to leave his address with a hot victim. I suppose we are striding fast towards Darwin Award levels of dumb.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 14 Jan 2016 @ 8:09am

      Re:

      @Ninja 0533

      Already happened years ago. In my area a number of banks no longer have deposit slips. I lost count how many bank robbers years ago wrote their robbery notes on the back of their own deposit tickets; the ones with their name and address printed on them!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Dreddsnik, 14 Jan 2016 @ 6:53am

    Never underestimate the power of 'Tang' ( that wonderful orange breakfast drink ;) )

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 14 Jan 2016 @ 9:17am

    In the famous words of George Constanza to a hot woman after being handcuffed to a hotel bed, robbed and abandoned "Call Me?"

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 14 Jan 2016 @ 10:46am

    'If it wasn't for those damn meddling kids'

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


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