Patrick Zarrelli Claims He's Filing Criminal Charges Against Us Because He Doesn't Like Our Post About Him

from the dude:-do-you-even-first-amendment? dept

So... a week and a half ago, we published an article, written by Tim Cushing, discussing the rather poor decisions of a self-proclaimed "reputation management" guy named Patrick Zarrelli. Zarrelli, it appeared, had been hired by Florida attorney Gary Ostrow, to improve his reputation, but instead, Zarrelli proceeded on a course that seemed more likely to destroy his own reputation, and potentially drag Ostrow further down with him.

The background: Ostrow, back in 2012, put out a ridiculous press release, claiming that he was "taking on all celebrity criminal cases in Florida." The press release was so ridiculous and silly that it resulted in mocking and scorn from lawyers online, including Scott Greenfield and Mark Bennett. Apparently, three years later, Ostrow decided he wanted those posts to disappear from the internet. As we've seen, trying to make things disappear from the internet is generally a bad idea that has a history of backfiring spectacularly, often generating renewed interest in that which you wish to delete.

It tends to be even worse when you attempt to delete the content in the most ham-fisted manner possible, which appears to have been Zarrelli's strategy. He called up Greenfield and Bennett, and did a weird passive-aggressive combination of threatening them with totally baseless legal threats, and a weird sort of "hey we're all buddies, let's just take this content down" ridiculousness. If you haven't, you really need to listen to the voicemail that Zarrelli left Greenfield. I could describe it, but no description could do that voicemail justice. It includes a bunch of nonsense legal terms ("hot news exemption"?), a bizarre attempt to "trade" website design if Greenfield will take down the article ("let us improve your blog for you"), threats ("it's not going to be fun for you") and a bizarre listing of his family tree of "high-end lawyers."

All this resulted in more blog posts from Bennett and Greenfield. Another attorney, Brian Tannebaum, apparently also was on the receiving end of ridiculous threats from Zarrelli.

Throughout it all, Zarrelli kept publicly (on Facebook and Twitter) putting up a show of bravado, and a few times suggested that the reason that everyone was pissed at him was because of some sort of "lawyerly bravado" that he felt they believed they needed to show before capitulating -- rather than the truth: which is that these lawyers know Zarrelli has no legal basis for his claims, and they have little time for censorious jerks who are threatening them with bogus legal threats.

Now we get to the rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging.

We had thought that, as with many such cases, Zarrelli might calm down, get a little perspective and move on with his life -- possibly in a different business than "reputation management." But, apparently, he (unwisely) chose plan B.

Yesterday afternoon a large envelope stuffed with hundreds of pages of paper showed up at my office, which appears to be a hilariously stupid threat that he's suing basically everyone who made fun of him.
If you can't read that "cover page," here's what it says:
Dear Tech Dirt [sic] Team,

A writer of yours named Tim Cushings [sic] is using your website to harass, stalk, libel, and cyber bully me online. We have filed criminal charges and bar complaints in seven states. We are now in the process of filling [sic] a federal lawsuit in Florida. Due to your companies [sic] high page rank, there [sic] attack articles about me dominate the search results. They are even above my own Facebook page.

Thank you,

Patrick Zarrelli
And, as you can see, there are large packets for the lawyers mentioned above -- Scott Greenfield, Mark Bennett and Brian Tannebaum, as well as one for Tim Cushing, who is listed together with Sam Glover (I have no idea why). Each "cover page" lists a "criminal case #": "Criminal Case #15-172076FLPD." I can't wait to see what criminal law it violates to "rank better than my Facebook page in search results," but I get the feeling that the Florida police won't be doing much with this.

Beyond the misspellings, the cover letter is just ridiculous. It doesn't actually make any request to us. It doesn't say that anything has actually been filed against us, or Tim directly, despite the clear attempt to imply as much. There is no effort to (as you're kinda required to do) name what actual statements constitute violations of the law (he can keep looking, 'cause he's not going to find any). Also, "harass, stalk, libel, and cyber bully." Dude, he wrote an article about you fucking up. That's not harassing, stalking, libeling or cyber bullying. That's called reporting, and it's damn well protected by the First Amendment. Whatever "criminal charges" he thinks he's filed are not what he seems to think they are. Individuals don't file "criminal charges." That's law enforcement's job. It sounds like he may have just whined to some law enforcement folks in Florida who probably filed it in the garbage file where it belongs. Obviously, he's not filing "bar complaints" against us or Cushing, since Cushing isn't a lawyer. He very well may have against the lawyers listed, but those will all go nowhere fast.

If he's seriously contemplating "filling [sic] a federal lawsuit in Florida" -- well, then he should have had his lawyer contact us, rather than himself -- and he might want to acquaint himself carefully with Florida's brand new anti-SLAPP law, which we would almost certainly make use of in seeking legal fees for filing a bogus lawsuit whose sole purpose was an attempt to stifle Constitutionally protected speech.

Oh, and you might wonder what's in all the pages in those packets. It is not -- as you might think from the cover pages -- any actual lawsuit or bar complaint or anything of the sort. It is not any actual demands or explanation of what laws he thinks we broke. Rather, each packet is just pages upon pages of screenshot printouts of the articles that we wrote, the comments on those articles, and comments found on Twitter and Facebook where people were mocking Zarrelli.

Dude: let it go. You messed up and people made fun of you for it. There's nothing illegal about that (in either the criminal or the civil sense).

Update: After a bunch of requests, we've scanned in the full packets. You can see them below:

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  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 10:50am

    "Obviously, he's not filing "bar complaints" against us or Cushing..."

    He's probably filing bar complaints to his local bartender as he cries in his drink of choice.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 10:55am

    I take great pleasure in knowing that this dude printed up my comment of just saying "Daaaaaaaaaaaamn" and included it in his packet of silly. Maybe this one will be in the next one?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Roger Strong (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 10:57am

    For the Record...

    I'm a non-American reading this story and laughing at Zarrelli from outside the US.

    You know, in case he wants to file a lawsuit through the World Court.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 10:58am

    Oh goodie goodie! Something entertaining to fill in the hole left by the resolution of Prenda.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Daniel, 10 Nov 2015 @ 10:58am

    I've missed Prenda...

    I've missed Prenda and real train wrecks are hard to find...this looks like it might provide almost as much enjoyment.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    That Anonymous Coward (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:04am

    Thats a mighty fine hole you're digging there genius.

    Something something dick in a hornets nest.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    ArkieGuy (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:04am

    FOI Request

    My guess? This dude made a police report to the Fort Lauderdale Police Department (based on the "FLPD" at the end) saying that you "harass, stalk, libel, and cyber bully" him online.

    Can you FOI a police report? It might be worth a laugh. :)

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    techflaws (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:05am

    This will probably soon become known as the 'Chewbacca offense'.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:08am

    What is it with certain lawyer types?

    What is it with certain lawyer types? They get their law degree (from where is anyone's guess) and then proceed to act like that is some sort of magic wand that they get to wave around to make people respect and fear them. It has the opposite effect on me. They deserve nothing but scorn and ridicule.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Paul Alan Levy (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:17am

      Re: What is it with certain lawyer types?

      Lotta reason to diss some lawyers, but PUH-lease, don't associate us with Zarrelli -- is there any reason to think he is a lawyer?

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:25am

        Re: Re: What is it with certain lawyer types?

        Based on the voice mail referenced in the article, it sounded like his family is chalk full of lawyers and people with lots of power... not really sure how that in any way makes his statements more true or based in reality. I wonder how they feel about him using their names and titles in his legal quagmire in the making.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        • icon
          GMacGuffin (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:40am

          Re: Re: Re: What is it with certain lawyer types?

          Zafrelli's family attorneys can't be happy ... regardless whether they are really his family.

          I tell my clients: For gawdsakes, don't name-drop me or even CC me without first giving me a heads-up of what you want to say.

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        • icon
          Capitalist Lion Tamer (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:52pm

          Re: Re: Re: What is it with certain lawyer types?

          Zarrelli's actual words were "riddled with high-end lawyers," which seems to suggest it's not actually a positive thing.

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

          • identicon
            New Mexico Mark, 10 Nov 2015 @ 2:51pm

            Re: Re: Re: Re: What is it with certain lawyer types?

            Personally, I could suggest stronger wording like (with apologies to the better lawyers out there):
            teeming with
            infected with
            blighted with

            reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:32am

      Re: What is it with certain lawyer types?

      He's not a lawyer himself, but was supposedly performing "reputation management" for one.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 12 Nov 2015 @ 8:47am

      Re: What is it with certain lawyer types?

      When your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. So for a lawyer, his tool is the courts. So he uses the courts to resolve every problem, real or imagined, he has.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Whoever, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:09am

    Techdirt rank?

    Due to your companies [sic] high page rank, there [sic] attack articles about me dominate the search results. They are even above my own Facebook page.


    This doesn't appear to be true -- for me, at least. But Google's search results are heavily influenced by your own search history, so it is more likely that the reason Mr. Zarrelli sees TechDirt results higher than his own Facebook page is that MR. Zarelli spends a lot of time Googling Techdirt!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      ArkieGuy (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:12am

      Re: Techdirt rank?

      Oh, I bet he Googles himself regularly!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 5:16pm

        Re: Re: Techdirt rank?

        Probably googles himself every time he is in the shower too.

        I would love it if techdirt uploaded a copy of the pages he sent. I would love to see my comment in a legal filling.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      zerosaves (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:58am

      Re: Techdirt rank?

      I use bing myself (nothing against google, just feel helping healthy competition furthers both products) and it places "In the news" links first when you search his name, and this article here is the top result.

      GJ Zarelli

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Pixelation, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:16am

    Oh Zarrelli...

    Please Carreon!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Bill Silverstein (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:20am

    Right to be forgotten

    At least he didn't demand you remove the information under his right to be forgotten under EU law.

    That worked so well for other people. I believe in one case that an Court ruled that while the original information must be removed, there is nothing that stops you from publishing about the request to be removed.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Mason Wheeler (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:28am

    as well as one for Tim Cushing, who is listed together with Sam Glover (I have no idea why).

    Do you have any idea who? Sam Glover isn't mentioned anywhere in the article except here. He was added to the tags for the story, but the only article under his tag is this one. Who is this mysterious person?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Personanongrata, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:30am

    Reading Between the Lines

    Dear Tech Dirt [sic] Team,

    I am a pathetic little person.

    Love,

    Patrick Zarrelli

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    GMacGuffin (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:33am

    Dude...

    You can tell that Mike is fully gobsmacked by the stupidity of a circumstance when he uses "Dude" as a pronoun more than once in a story.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    avideogameplayer, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:37am

    What's that? The special is roast shoe?

    I'd like 12 pairs, please...

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Rekrul, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:39am

    Hey Patrick Zarrelli, you're a douche-nozzle!

    (Think that will make it into the next packet?)

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    TasMot (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:39am

    "Zarrelli Reputation" - Search this on Google

    Ok, I'm just a poor schmo gettin' by from day to day (impatiently waiting for the next chuckle from a TechDirt article). So just out of curiousity I did a search on Google (OK, I googled it) for "Zarrelli Reputation". I mean after all, his whole business is reputation management, right? So the first FOUR pages of results are about how bad he is doing a managing his own reputation and some of the articles are feeling sorry about the clients that hired him.

    Actually, this could mean that there is going to be more fun reading here. That's about 40 to 60 lawsuits against various blogs and publications that are (what did he say):
    harass, stalk, libel, and cyber bully me online


    Come on, I'm already starting to salivate at all the articles on TechDirt about this little "Zarelli Circus of Legal Entertainment".

    Strangely enough, in working some Google magic, I could not find an article with a "positive" reference to Zarelli. Only articles about how badly he has messed up. I guess with everybody talking about his clown act, maybe he is hoping that no one will remember his client's activities. He's created the "Zarelli Google Trick". It's heavily patterned after the Jedi mind trick but is not a story of fiction and doesn't actually work. It is however entertaining.

    I hope George Lucas doesn't sue him though; for creating a derivative work without paying for a license.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:05pm

      Re: "Zarrelli Reputation" - Search this on Google

      And when Zarelli reads this, hopefully he'll see your comment and think "Oh, so THAT's how SEO ranking works!"

      Because you just anchored all those other search results :D

      You even threw in a few things that will likely now show up in the suggested search terms when someone types in "Zarrelli" in Google.

      I wonder if this cascades over to Bing, Yahoo! and DuckDuckGo? I've been out of the optimization game for a while now, so I'm unsure.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      BW (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 2:46pm

      I think you're on to something...

      Patrick Zarrelli actually CAN improve his clients' reputation.

      First, he associates his name with his client. THEN
      He ruins his reputation SO BADLY that THEN
      When you try to Google his client all you can see id articles about how stupid Patrick Zarrelli is.

      Viola! The client's reputation is improved.

      See? It works!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:41am

    Teacups and snowflakes are certainly delicate

    Two things came to mind whilst reading this. First, how much the Streisand Effect is like those trick birthday candles that cannot be blown out. They just keep on relighting, and relighting, and…

    Second, with that comment about Techdirt showing up higher than his own Facebook page tells us an awful lot about his skillz as a reputation management expert extraordinaire. Makes one wonder how one might go about retraining (not a typo) his services.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:27pm

      Re: Teacups and snowflakes are certainly delicate

      At this point, he's trying to put the candles out by spraying 'em with old-style silly string.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:43am

    > Obviously, he's not filing "bar complaints" against us...

    Obvioushly? No, actually quite reashonable to file bar complaints against you ... guysh. Where better than a bar? (hic) Barkeep! Another round for my friends here! And uh, ya know howta makea Zombie? Great! I'll have oneadem!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    yankinwaoz (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:48am

    Wow. And I thought I was a bad speller.

    That cover letter is a computer print out. That means he used some sort of editor. Why didn't he run the spell and grammar check before hitting "Print"? At least he would't appear to be a 8 year old turning in his first English assignment.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    fakeZarelli, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:56am

    Joe Garelli fights Patrick Zarelli after school

    How do we know this whole situation wasn't orchestrated by a child? The evidence and approach definitely suggests a child like mentality. Did you guys at Techdirt tattle on him?

    Purple-monkey-dishwasher

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Atkray (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 5:19pm

      Re: Joe Garelli fights Patrick Zarelli after school

      /puts on tinfoil hat

      I think you are on to something. I think this whole thing may actually be a ploy by PETA where we find out that Patrick Zarelli is actually a certain monkey that likes to take selfies.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 10:01pm

      Re: Joe Garelli fights Patrick Zarelli after school

      Best. Simpsons. Reference. Ever.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 11:59am

    He really sounds like the perfect portrait of the entitlement generation.

    "I am special because everyone tells me I am and anyone who doesn't agree is bullying me, and I am going to throw a fit until they are punished for saying bad things about me"

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Vladlagg, 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:11pm

    Florida Man

    Hits bottom, starts digging. I can see the headlines now. Dis' gon' be good.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:11pm

    Sam Glover

    http://www.otimollc.com/attorney-marketing-ideas/patrick-zarrelli-killer-reputation-or-reputation-ki ller
    Includes an amusing screenshot of Zarrelli's Facebook page - when he's riled up his spelling improves slightly.

    Sam Glover has written an article on lawyerist.com:
    https://lawyerist.com/92408/lawyer-hires-internet-tough-guy-to-silence-internet-tough- guys/

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Roman, 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:16pm

    Listen up here Patrick Spaghetti: fuck you. If you feel you wish to go after me with baseless legal bullshit, my address is 1313 Eat a Dick Ln.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:32pm

    South Florida wire services are allegedly reporting that Zarrelli could be represented Pro Hac Vice by Joseph Rakofsky Esq., an attorney with considerable experience of "Internet Gang Stalking by Attorneys."

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:33pm

    If the Tim Cushings went all anti-SLAPP on the Zarrelli, that... would... be... my... SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    sorrykb (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 12:44pm

    This is unfortunate. Patrick Zarrelli could really use some sober friends in his life who could point out the disastrous path he's on. Not that I'm sure he'd listen.

    Also, do you think you should redact his phone number shown on the first page of his legal manifesto?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Kevin Carson, 10 Nov 2015 @ 1:04pm

    Search results

    If Zarelli's unhappy about the search engine results his name pulls up now, wait till his website is the number one result for a Google search of "assclown."

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous in Florida, 10 Nov 2015 @ 1:17pm

    Sue me baby!

    Hey, I live in Florida...sue my anonymous ass off Patrick Zarrelli. Patrick Zarrelli is a royal douche bag!
    Patrick Zarrelli, Patrick Zarrelli, Patrick Zarrelli...say that 3 times fast and get page ranking and criminal charges filed against you by Patrick Zarrelli.
    Just in case Patrick Zarrelli didn't notice. I'm using his name alot for page rankings. I'm looking out for you Patrick Zarrelli.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Keroberos (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 1:31pm

    Each "cover page" lists a "criminal case #": "Criminal Case #15-172076FLPD."
    All that means is that he called the cops about this. I'm assuming that the "FLPD" at the end of that case number stands for the Fort Lauderdale Police Department, which of course has to file a case number for every complaint they get (even if it's some nut-job who thinks aliens have implanted him with mind controlling devices). Any real criminal charges would come from a District Attorney's office.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 2:20pm

      Re:

      Wouldn't the FLPD require that a criminal offense (of some kind) be alleged in order to open a criminal case? And wouldn't they also require that said offense happen within the jurisdiction of the FLPD?

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      alternatives(), 10 Nov 2015 @ 4:52pm

      Re: No need for a DA

      Any real criminal charges would come from a District Attorney's office.

      Naw, ya could be a ham sandwich and be true billed from a Grand Jury.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    limbodog (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 2:18pm

    How much would it cost?

    What's the going rate for custom awards these days? Maybe one made out of clear acrylic? Those seem to be popular.

    In them, we can etch an image of Barbara Streisand.

    It would officially be the Techdirt Award for Publicity Failure (or something)

    Unofficially, we can call them the "Babs" awards.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Almost Anonymous (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 2:39pm

      Re: How much would it cost?

      Was just going to comment that I can't believe no one has mentioned the Streisand effect yet, as in:

      Patrick Zarrelli should take some time out of his busy schedule of googling himself and instead google the "Streisand Effect".

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Tanner Andrews (profile), 14 Nov 2015 @ 5:41am

      Re: How much would it cost?


      What's the going rate for custom awards these days?

      I seen to get my share of spam from rthurman@smallbusinesscommunity.org, who will happily sell you an award for a little under a hundred dollars. If Mr. Zarrelli needs an award, I'd probably want him to pay for it himself. You can pay more for a fancier award, depending on how much support your ego needs.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    connermac725 (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 2:41pm

    Patrick Zarrelli PRINTS THIS

    HHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE
    so called reputation expert my @ss

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 2:50pm

    Individuals can file criminal complaints.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Mike Masnick (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 4:29pm

      Re:

      Individuals can file criminal complaints.


      A complaint? Sure. "Criminal charges"? Hells no. I have no doubt that he filed a complaint form, just as I have no doubt that the FLPD gave it the due respect it deserves (ie. "none"), meaning I doubt that anyone listed need have any fear of travelling to Ft. Lauderdale any time soon.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      alternatives(), 10 Nov 2015 @ 4:58pm

      Re:

      Individuals can file criminal complaints.

      Yes. In fact the cop who creates the complaint the DA signs off on is doing it not as a cop but as a citizen. Because then you'd have an executive branch person (the DA) and an executive brancher - the cop - in collusion.

      Now I, as a citizen, have tried to bypass the DA and get a Judge to sign off on a criminal complaint. Its like I just walked in with Plutonium.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Mark Wing, 10 Nov 2015 @ 2:59pm

    Are you going to hire Tim back when he gets out of prison?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    That One Other Not So Random Guy, 10 Nov 2015 @ 3:14pm

    Sounds like Patrick Zarrelli is pissed off and mad about it.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 3:33pm

    now, that's some [sic] writing.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 4:56pm

    Positive spin

    You're focusing too much on the negative side. Tim can now call himself a "Technology Expert", with official documentation to back that up.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Patrick Zarrelli, 10 Nov 2015 @ 5:50pm

    I dare you to sue me for impersonation.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Mark Wing, 10 Nov 2015 @ 6:20pm

    It's just a fact of life that some people have a small SEO.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 6:21pm

    Wha??

    If this Zarrelli person IS NOT a lawyer, what is he doing claiming to file lawsuits, and where's he getting the $200+ filing fees for each of them (well over several thousand if you believe him)?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Capitalist Lion Tamer (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 7:18pm

      Re: Wha??

      He could file in forma pauperis, claiming he's too poor to cover the filing fees. But that would conflict with the claims he made in his phone calls, where on top of running a successful [lol] reputation management company, he has several websites getting "millions" of hits every day.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 11 Nov 2015 @ 12:43am

      Re: Wha??

      It is called a Pro Se filing, combine it with a In Pauperis and you can sue as a non lawyer with a chance of not having to pay any fees.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Roger Strong (profile), 10 Nov 2015 @ 8:14pm

    Attn: Leigh

    So many comments on this topic have been "deemed funny by the community", all of them were inspired by Patrick Zarrelli's performance art.

    Let's not forget that while Zarrelli's own submission may have arrived by post, it was still a Reader's Comment to Techdirt. Please do not deny him the Funniest Comment of the Week honors.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Ninja (profile), 11 Nov 2015 @ 9:52am

      Re: Attn: Leigh

      No, really, next Insightful/Awesome will have to be split and Funniest given its own article. Or comment the fun in this article alone separately. Zarrelli managed to touch our collective funny spots in a way never seen before.

      It's the first time I spend part of the article and most of the comment section laughing like that. People are looking at me strangely here at work.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    anon, 10 Nov 2015 @ 8:35pm

    FSU

    Zarrelli is not a lawyer. He does have a Bachelor of Sociology from Florida State University though. Apparently he never had to learn the difference between "there" and "their" to get a degree.

    Go Noles!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 10 Nov 2015 @ 10:06pm

    yall sure do draw the crazies, good thing its entertaining or i bet it would be a real bother

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    That One Guy (profile), 11 Nov 2015 @ 1:15am

    What strange priorities...

    So he can go through all the hassle of throwing together a large threat letter to try and shut TD and others up, but he can't spend five freakin' minutes researching how well that sort of thing has gone in the past?

    Time is precious, but come on, if you're going to threaten someone, at least check to see how well that's worked out for those that tried before you.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Andrew, 11 Nov 2015 @ 5:15am

    Holy shit!

    This guy is moving more dirt than a fucking Bucyrus RH400.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    scatman09 (profile), 11 Nov 2015 @ 5:32am

    Patrick Zarelli is the new SLR Guy.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Nov 2015 @ 7:20am

    Just listened to the voicemail Zarelli left and yeah, I think I'd like to see his oh-so impressive list of family lawyers actually do something here. Perhaps Zarelli can also form a coherent statement without the overuse of "um" (stopped counting after five ums).

    This guy deserves whatever negative attention he receives for that voicemail alone. Keep up the fight Techdirt!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Nov 2015 @ 7:56am

    It doesn't actually make any request to us.


    The first words that came to mind after reading his letter were "you're welcome."

    He was just saying thank-you

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Nov 2015 @ 11:34am

    Tech (pause) Dirt

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 11 Nov 2015 @ 5:44pm

    Inattention

    The level of inattention in every aspect is mind boggling.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Roger Strong (profile), 12 Nov 2015 @ 9:15am

    > That's not harassing, stalking, libeling or cyber bullying.

    Given the size of Zarrelli's ego, how about blasphemy?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Monday (profile), 12 Nov 2015 @ 2:17pm

    SJ is crap

    I linked over to SJ, and read more on Zarelli, his ego, his empty threats, and more comments. Some posts with great links to youtube, and his website etc. I made a comment that I had linked over there from here (TechDirt) and the comments are just as awesome - at both threads. The "Mod" deleted that comment.
    Maybe you should think twice about doing advertising for some piss ant website, I had never heard of until yesterday morning, before making posts. Quid pro quo...

    I'm just saying...

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      That Anonymous Coward (profile), 12 Nov 2015 @ 7:04pm

      Re: SJ is crap

      Scott clearly hates links, its a posted policy.
      It is his sandbox, so he gets to set the rules.
      It isn't that piss ant in some circles.

      He isn't known for the warm fuzzys, I've run afoul of him before and chose not to repeat that experience.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Grock, 12 Nov 2015 @ 7:25pm

    L

    I'm immortalized on page 59 of the Mark Bennett packet. Thank you Patrick Zarrelli for making me feel relevant.

    Is it wrong for me to hope he continues to double down on stupid so I can be entertained?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


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