Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the think/laugh-laugh/think dept

This week, we wrote about the Albuquerque prosecutor who was extremely unhappy about respecting the accused’s right to a speedy trial, leading one anonymous commenter (going by Yes, I know I’m commenting anonymously) to win most insightful comment of the week by cringing at the way he used a key phrase:

When the prosucuter talks about “accused criminals”, he is not fit for the job because `innocent until proven guilty’.

We’re going to go slightly out of order today and slip in our first editor’s choice for insightful in here, since PaulT replied to that comment to expand on it and how how meaningful it is:

Yeah, it’s kind of a litmus/Rorschach test – how do you read that phrase and apply it to your job? If you read it as “people accused of being criminals” and act accordingly, you’re fine. If you read it as “criminals who have been accused”, you’re not fit for the job.

In second place on the insightful side, we’ve got an anonymous response to the Winnipeg man who had his ASIMIL8 license plate recalled by folks who thought it was about racism, not Star Trek’s Borg. One commenter suggested that the Borg counts as a race, but another saw it very differently:

Correction, multiple species. There were very inclusive of any sentient species. Very, very inclusive.

(It says something about Star Trek fandom that this comment racked up far more votes for Insightful than it did for Funny).

For our second editor’s choice on the insightful side, we’ve got a comment from TKnarr with his ideas on how to move forward with the FCC on net neutrality:

I think what Senator Wyden needs to do is to call for open hearings to “fully document the problems Title II classification has created for the broadband industry and to provide a solid foundation for the FCC’s rules changes”. Don’t phrase it as trying to cut Pai off at the knees, phrase it as if you’re trying to get the evidence he claims is there completely and clearly in the record.

Then when the broadband people are done saying how it’s hampered their investment in expansion and upgrades, pull out their own statements to investors and read out the relevant sections with the text projected clearly. Ask them whether, given the discrepancies, they’ve lied to investors about their business situation and plans or not and to provide good reason why this matter should not be referred to the SEC for prosecution. Don’t involve the FCC here at all, just use the results the next time he tries to trot out his “hurt investments” line to counter him with “But the broadband companies themselves said before Congress that it didn’t hamper their plans at all.”.

Over on the funny side, we start out with what appears to be the conclusion of the Olive Garden/All Of Garden legal spat, with the former apologizing and blaming its IP enforcement contractors. But Anonmylous won first place for funny by wondering if the saga still has an epilogue:

Is no one else wondering about Branden? He is now completely silent on this and that worries me. Did they fire him? Transfer him to Janitorial? Has he been kidnapped and sold to slavers in Southeast Asia never to be heard from again, his family left to wonder why he never came home, little Susie Forcements left to grow up without a father?

What have you done with Branden, Darden?

In second place, we’ve got a comment from Rapnel, who was tripped up by the wording of our headline about Arby’s response to a Twitter troll:

I came here for puppy sandwiches.

I left disappointed.

For editor’s choice on the funny side, we start out with an anonymous comment about the Hungarian teenager who was arrested after he found and promptly reported a website security flaw that let him buy train tickets from the Transit Authority at any price we wanted:

K`Tech asked an excellent question:

Was it on a Nissan Cube?

That’s all for this week, folks!

Rate this comment as insightful
Rate this comment as funny
You have rated this comment as insightful
You have rated this comment as funny
Flag this comment as abusive/trolling/spam
You have flagged this comment
The first word has already been claimed
The last word has already been claimed
Insightful Lightbulb icon Funny Laughing icon Abusive/trolling/spam Flag icon Insightful badge Lightbulb icon Funny badge Laughing icon Comments icon

Comments on “Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt”

Subscribe: RSS Leave a comment
Toom1275 (profile) says:

The whole “Title II hurts investment except when it doesn’t” thing reminds me of one particular anti-climate-science sham paper that proclaimed how woefully inaccurate and unreliable satellite measurements were when they showed warming, but then proceeded to turn around and claim that those very same “unreliable” measurements were 100% accurate when twisted to support tthe paper’s own cooling predictions.

Daydream says:

In defence of the prosecutor’s comments, ‘accused criminal’ is actually technically accurate.

At some point, almost everyone in America has almost certainly committed some sort of crime; speeding, or singing a copyrighted song in public, connecting to an unsecured wi-fi thingy, jaywalking, having an out-of-date driver’s license…

It’s not ‘accused criminal’ in the sense that everyone accused is already considered guilty, it’s that everyone in America is a criminal of some sort and the prosecutors are picking and choosing who to accuse.

That One Guy (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re: Re:

That quote is as horrifying now as it was the first time I read it, thanks to the implications of it and more importantly who is saying it.

‘If a person is innocent of a crime, then he is not a suspect’ can basically be translated as ‘If someone is a suspect then they’re guilty’, ignoring the fact that it’s entirely possible for those investigating a crime to screw up and go after the wrong person, and instead putting forth the idea that if someone’s under investigation they’re guilty, it’s just a matter of finding out exactly how.

Also, have a funny vote for that second half.

Add Your Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Have a Techdirt Account? Sign in now. Want one? Register here

Comment Options:

Make this the or (get credits or sign in to see balance) what's this?

What's this?

Techdirt community members with Techdirt Credits can spotlight a comment as either the "First Word" or "Last Word" on a particular comment thread. Credits can be purchased at the Techdirt Insider Shop »

Follow Techdirt

Techdirt Daily Newsletter

Techdirt Deals
Techdirt Insider Discord
The latest chatter on the Techdirt Insider Discord channel...