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Shocking Revelation: Websites For Cheating On Your Spouse Are BSing You

from the a-few-good-men dept

I’ll preface this post with a couple of admissions. First, I’ve never used a dating site, though not because I think there’s anything wrong with the concept. Second, I am getting married in the next couple of days. Now that that’s out of the way, it seems to me that dating sites are all about cheating. You can cheat by fudging your cleavage on your profile picture. You can cheat by yoinking someone else’s dating profile for your own use.

And, if you’re a married person looking to cheat, you can go to a dating site dedicated to cheaters, because surely that will work out well for everyone involved. But here’s something you may have never expected: a skeevy site promising to help you cheat on your spouse might just be bullshitting their own profiles. Gasp! And, because life is full of stories that completely lack a good guy, we learn that one such site, Ashley Madison, is doing just that, thanks to a former employee suing over the carpel tunnel syndrome she says she attained while creating all those fake profiles the unhappily married have been “corresponding” with.

Doriana Silva is seeking $20 million from Ashley Madison for what she calls the company’s “unjust enrichment” at her expense, plus another $1 million in punitive and general damages.

In her statement of claim, Silva — a Brazilian immigrant living in Toronto — says she was hired to help launch a Portuguese-language version of the site and promised a starting salary of $34,000 plus benefits. She was soon asked to create 1,000 “fake female profiles” meant to lure men to the new Brazilian Ashley Madison site — and given only three weeks to complete the work, the document alleges.

Huh, I didn’t realize we were still doing the whole “typing gave me carpel tunnels” thing in this day and age. It seems like a shaky bridge to build for getting all that sweet cash, given that studies haven’t provided any causal link between typing and claw-hands. And it’s worth noting that this is a cash-grab, not the work of an honest whistle-blower. In other words, it may be that the inclusion of the fake profiles story was to extract a settlement from Ashley Madison. Some might suggest that perhaps Silva is lying about creating fake profiles, but since we’ve seen that done by more mainstream dating sites, it’s easy to believe her on that front. Given the opportunity to comment or respond with a statement of defense, the company has thus far been silent.

So, remember, when you’re trolling the internet for someone to cheat on your spouse with, chances are you’re not talking to a real human being. And if you’re unhappy at home, there are much more fun ways to get sore hands than typing on your keyboard.

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Companies: ashley madison

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Comments on “Shocking Revelation: Websites For Cheating On Your Spouse Are BSing You”

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68 Comments
Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re:

Seriously dude, as someone who probably has “sorting cabbage heads” and “playing marathon sessions of fantasy games online” as their interests on dating sites- I’d be shocked if an actual woman of any nationality responded to you. Your best bet might be to travel to some god-awful Third World shithole and buy an unsuspecting wife from a family of destitute farmers. It would probably take her quite a few years of inculturalization before she realized what a zero you are by Western standards.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re: Re:

You do realize I was being sarcastic right?

No shit?

Yes, I’m on dating websites, but no, no-one has ever professed falling in love with me on one.

There’s a shocker.

So please, enjoy this “Woosh” as a sign of not bothering to understand what I was writing.

I understood just fine, you moron. Better go recalibrate your mocking detector.

out_of_the_blue says:

Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?

Guess overall this is just another typical Techdirt piece of NEVER siding with laborers, only with corporations. Timmy just takes some shots at the woman for no apparent reason, and implies that “Ashley Madison” is (or will be) the injured party, even though stated its business is fake.

This item is rather starkly pro-corporate — without having other discernible point — and even takes the pro-corporate view (supported by NIMH! Timmy always believes the gov’t when suits his notions) that repetitive motions never harmed anyone! Yeah, and coal miners don’t get black lung disease, Timmy.

You’re the kind of arrogant bigot which the jury process is intended to remove, Timmy; not a fair and impartial peer, just jump to conclusions before hearing the facts. You attack the plaintiff without cause and even state that you don’t even need the corporation’s version.

Pragmatic says:

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?

Blue went on there, found a profile called “Mike,” and got all excited… only to discover that the man of her dreams was seventy six and had no teeth.

Uh, Tim, I regularly get pain on the back of my hands from typing. When it’s particularly bad I can feel every tendon and they all hurt. This is what I do to fix it:

http://www.typing-lessons.org/preliminaries_3.html

What I’m saying is, it happens when I fail to follow the rules in that link. I slouch, you see. So when I straighten up and use my foot rest, end of problem. Wrist rests have been trash-talked but I need mine. It helps me keep my hands level and stops me from bending my wrist.

So there’s no excuse for claiming multi-million dollar settlements for something that is mostly self-inflicted by adopting a bad posture. She’d have a case if they stuck her in a cramped environment and denied her the rests, etc., she needed to type in comfort, but she hasn’t mentioned that.

alternatives() says:

Re: Stop before I have to seek treatment for depression...

Next thing you will tell me is that all of those Russian girls that keep emailing me

Better than that – You know the Russian ‘friend’ sites where you pay to be a member then pay someone to act as translator and later show how considerate you are by sending the 20ish gal (you are 63+ and on SS disability BTW) money to help her sick mother? Turns out that hot picture of her is a US porn star taken at a porn convention 2 years prior.

Anonymous Coward says:

Would never happen on TD

You would not get people inflating their profile here, its not like someone like masnick would not ‘inflate’ his profile by calling himself “Editor-in-chief Masnick” for example.

how is a ‘dating site” a “cheating on your spouse” site???

You trying to take the “moral high ground” again, sounds very extreme right wing liberal Christian to me. Next think you will do is go after names for a football team or some other equally “OMG wont you PLEASE think about the (insert rant here)”

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD

“This was a site specifically designed for and catered to married individuals wanting to have an affair.

Ok, where does it say that again ?

Oh that’s right, it doesn’t.. !!!!!

So if I am a “solar panel dumbfuck”, where does that leave you ?? I guess you can be a human dumberfucker.

Chronno S. Trigger (profile) says:

The troll is strong in this one.

I swear they look for anything and everything that might just be ever so slightly wrong and twist the living fuck out of it.

Tim argues against the website probably making fake accounts and the person that might be faking a repetitive stress injury, yet Blue insists that it’s only about slamming the employee.

Tim obviously points out two different types of cheating, but green swirly AC up there insists that it’s one type and only one type possible. Then bitches about there not being a link to a adult social network dedicated to cheating spouses even though a link isn’t required or relevant to the article.

Before that green swirly defends OoTB by saying everyone else makes “Ad Hom’s” and Blue is the only one being logical, even though Blue is intentionally (it can’t be accidental at this point) missing half the article and making the ad hominems at the same time.

I’m sorry Tim, but I think I found the problem. You’re too smart and you don’t dumb down your articles enough. You assume the readers are going to use intelligence and logic when there seems to be a coordinated team of people intentionally not using them.

Marak says:

Congrats om the impending wedding Tim.

Sortof OT: Dear god the trolls must be borrd today.

OT: Surprise factor? pretty low, CT syndrome not linked to typing? woo…. err what about masturbation?

on a side note the verbal masturbation from the trolls today, perhaps they should seek medical help, or some sort of aupport brace, dont want them getting CT and not being able to whine now do we?

The Groove Tiger (profile) says:

“So, remember, when you’re trolling the internet for someone to cheat on your spouse with, chances are you’re not talking to a real human being. And if you’re unhappy at home, there are much more fun ways to get sore hands than typing on your keyboard.”

Well, some of them require a bit of typing. Hopefully just enough that you can use one hand only.

crade (profile) says:

I was actually interested in your link to carpal tunnel, it’s pretty wierd starting with:

“Carpal tunnel syndrome may be caused by making the same hand and wrist motion over and over.”

and following it with
“Studies have not proved that carpal tunnel is caused by typing on a computer, using a mouse, or repeating movements while working […]”

So making the same hand and wrist motion may cause it, but not repeating movements while working? Or do they just mean they haven’t “proven” it can be ever be caused by anything?

crade (profile) says:

Re: Re:

Then in the treatment section it lists all the treatment as
changing typing activities and states

“Some of the jobs associated with carpal tunnel syndrome include those that involve typing and vibrating tools. “

It sounds to me like that link you provided is basically saying “as far as we can determine, carpal tunnel is caused by typing, we just havent been able to prove it”.

I was hoping for something more comforting hehe

John Fenderson (profile) says:

Re: Re:

I think it depends on precisely what motions you’re repeating.

I know that personally, despite being a heavy daily keyboard user since I was 12, I don’t even have the first sign of carpal tunnel. My suspicion is that this is a bit like being “sensitive to gluten”: a tiny percentage of people really suffer from it, and a larger percentage of people convince themselves that they do.

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