Shocking Revelation: Websites For Cheating On Your Spouse Are BSing You

from the a-few-good-men dept

I’ll preface this post with a couple of admissions. First, I’ve never used a dating site, though not because I think there’s anything wrong with the concept. Second, I am getting married in the next couple of days. Now that that’s out of the way, it seems to me that dating sites are all about cheating. You can cheat by fudging your cleavage on your profile picture. You can cheat by yoinking someone else’s dating profile for your own use.

And, if you’re a married person looking to cheat, you can go to a dating site dedicated to cheaters, because surely that will work out well for everyone involved. But here’s something you may have never expected: a skeevy site promising to help you cheat on your spouse might just be bullshitting their own profiles. Gasp! And, because life is full of stories that completely lack a good guy, we learn that one such site, Ashley Madison, is doing just that, thanks to a former employee suing over the carpel tunnel syndrome she says she attained while creating all those fake profiles the unhappily married have been “corresponding” with.

Doriana Silva is seeking $20 million from Ashley Madison for what she calls the company’s “unjust enrichment” at her expense, plus another $1 million in punitive and general damages.

In her statement of claim, Silva — a Brazilian immigrant living in Toronto — says she was hired to help launch a Portuguese-language version of the site and promised a starting salary of $34,000 plus benefits. She was soon asked to create 1,000 “fake female profiles” meant to lure men to the new Brazilian Ashley Madison site — and given only three weeks to complete the work, the document alleges.

Huh, I didn’t realize we were still doing the whole “typing gave me carpel tunnels” thing in this day and age. It seems like a shaky bridge to build for getting all that sweet cash, given that studies haven’t provided any causal link between typing and claw-hands. And it’s worth noting that this is a cash-grab, not the work of an honest whistle-blower. In other words, it may be that the inclusion of the fake profiles story was to extract a settlement from Ashley Madison. Some might suggest that perhaps Silva is lying about creating fake profiles, but since we’ve seen that done by more mainstream dating sites, it’s easy to believe her on that front. Given the opportunity to comment or respond with a statement of defense, the company has thus far been silent.

So, remember, when you’re trolling the internet for someone to cheat on your spouse with, chances are you’re not talking to a real human being. And if you’re unhappy at home, there are much more fun ways to get sore hands than typing on your keyboard.

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Comments on “Shocking Revelation: Websites For Cheating On Your Spouse Are BSing You”

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68 Comments
Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re:

Seriously dude, as someone who probably has “sorting cabbage heads” and “playing marathon sessions of fantasy games online” as their interests on dating sites- I’d be shocked if an actual woman of any nationality responded to you. Your best bet might be to travel to some god-awful Third World shithole and buy an unsuspecting wife from a family of destitute farmers. It would probably take her quite a few years of inculturalization before she realized what a zero you are by Western standards.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re: Re:

You do realize I was being sarcastic right?

No shit?

Yes, I’m on dating websites, but no, no-one has ever professed falling in love with me on one.

There’s a shocker.

So please, enjoy this “Woosh” as a sign of not bothering to understand what I was writing.

I understood just fine, you moron. Better go recalibrate your mocking detector.

out_of_the_blue says:

Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?

Guess overall this is just another typical Techdirt piece of NEVER siding with laborers, only with corporations. Timmy just takes some shots at the woman for no apparent reason, and implies that “Ashley Madison” is (or will be) the injured party, even though stated its business is fake.

This item is rather starkly pro-corporate — without having other discernible point — and even takes the pro-corporate view (supported by NIMH! Timmy always believes the gov’t when suits his notions) that repetitive motions never harmed anyone! Yeah, and coal miners don’t get black lung disease, Timmy.

You’re the kind of arrogant bigot which the jury process is intended to remove, Timmy; not a fair and impartial peer, just jump to conclusions before hearing the facts. You attack the plaintiff without cause and even state that you don’t even need the corporation’s version.

Pragmatic says:

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?

Blue went on there, found a profile called “Mike,” and got all excited… only to discover that the man of her dreams was seventy six and had no teeth.

Uh, Tim, I regularly get pain on the back of my hands from typing. When it’s particularly bad I can feel every tendon and they all hurt. This is what I do to fix it:

http://www.typing-lessons.org/preliminaries_3.html

What I’m saying is, it happens when I fail to follow the rules in that link. I slouch, you see. So when I straighten up and use my foot rest, end of problem. Wrist rests have been trash-talked but I need mine. It helps me keep my hands level and stops me from bending my wrist.

So there’s no excuse for claiming multi-million dollar settlements for something that is mostly self-inflicted by adopting a bad posture. She’d have a case if they stuck her in a cramped environment and denied her the rests, etc., she needed to type in comfort, but she hasn’t mentioned that.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?

probably he’s not a troll like most here, and does not have to resort to Ad Hom’s like many people do here. (they don’t have anything else, or anything to add)

Plus he does not need to, he (rightly) takes issues with your posts, and the attitude you display from what you say.

So someone addresses the issues, and you attack them for not providing Ad Hom’s ??? Geeezzz Tim

And who cares if you are getting married or not, I guess you do, and your future wife, but don’t expect me or anyone care, people read this site to see what is being said (by TD) about “Techdirt” issues. Why do I care what you do in your personal life.

Are you that sensitive ??

Would you like him to say something horrible about you getting married ?? would that make you feel better ?
Or would you rather stick to the subject being discussed ?

Or are you upset that he addressed the issues you raised in your article as opposed to attacking you ?

I just seems odd you would say that !!

I also see TD has its usual Trolls that Censor based on the person, and not the comments, I just wish TD could understand just how disgusting that looks for TD and how it makes this site FAR WORSE because of your REAL trolls who use this CENSORSHIP on a web site that claims to be against such things.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?

You forgot to say something horrible about my impending nuptials, chief?.

Still butthurt from your idiotic Redskins debacle and looking to pick a fight you might actually win or garner some support/empathy?

No one is stupid enough to fall for that.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:2 Where DO you find this trivia? And HOW do you evade coming to a point?

Dude, just sign in. You debated me by name on Twitter, you can do so on Techdirt.

Does your bride-to-be know she’s marrying a paranoid schizophrenic? I don’t evenhave a Twitter account and if I did, I’d find better things to do with it than debate you over your recent embarrassing display of political correctness. I handed you you candy ass (as did just about everyone) in the comments section of your laughable Techdirt op/ed.

If you love calling American Indians niggers so much, just do so with your name attached.

What I love is calling my favorite football team “Redskins”. To the vast majority of the world, “Redskins” means football, not a disparagement of native Americans (fwiw, many of them find the term “indians” offensive). So if you are going to be butthurt-by-proxy, and take umbrage at any perceived slight of “your people”, perhaps you should immerse yourself a bit more into the culture of those you seek to suffer for.

Finally, I do find your gratuitous use of the term “nigger” to be offensive. But unlike you, I won’t be ranting and raving about it. It just makes you look all the more foolish (if that’s even possible).

So, I’m sorry- but I’m not your huckleberry this time. I hope you find your tormentor as he will doubtlessly best you again in your attempt to convince anyone that using trademark law to force Dan Snyder to change the name of his team.

Hail to the Redskins, hail victory?.
Braves on the warpath, FIGHT for old DC?.

alternatives() says:

Re: Stop before I have to seek treatment for depression...

Next thing you will tell me is that all of those Russian girls that keep emailing me

Better than that – You know the Russian ‘friend’ sites where you pay to be a member then pay someone to act as translator and later show how considerate you are by sending the 20ish gal (you are 63+ and on SS disability BTW) money to help her sick mother? Turns out that hot picture of her is a US porn star taken at a porn convention 2 years prior.

Anonymous Coward says:

Would never happen on TD

You would not get people inflating their profile here, its not like someone like masnick would not ‘inflate’ his profile by calling himself “Editor-in-chief Masnick” for example.

how is a ‘dating site” a “cheating on your spouse” site???

You trying to take the “moral high ground” again, sounds very extreme right wing liberal Christian to me. Next think you will do is go after names for a football team or some other equally “OMG wont you PLEASE think about the (insert rant here)”

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD

“This was a site specifically designed for and catered to married individuals wanting to have an affair.

Ok, where does it say that again ?

Oh that’s right, it doesn’t.. !!!!!

So if I am a “solar panel dumbfuck”, where does that leave you ?? I guess you can be a human dumberfucker.

Dark Helmet (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re: Would never happen on TD

“”This was a site specifically designed for and catered to married individuals wanting to have an affair.

Ok, where does it say that again ?”

………you mean other than in the god damn headline? How about the entire 2nd paragraph?

“And, if you’re a married person looking to cheat, you can go to a dating site dedicated to cheaters, because surely that will work out well for everyone involved. But here’s something you may have never expected: a skeevy site promising to help you cheat on your spouse might just be bullshitting their own profiles.”

Seriously, you’re a bit off today….

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:2 Would never happen on TD

I said “IT” not you,, I know what you said, so where is the link to this mysterious (read factious) web site again?

Oh its not there !!!, by “IT” I mean the insert, you cut and past in the usual TD fashion.

I don’t care what you said, I am interested in the facts supporting what you said, where are those facts ?? oh you did not include them!! oh dear. Technical oversight? incompetence ? Lie ?

You gave us one definition of “cheating” then morphed that into “cheating of spouse”, for future reference one is not the other.

So where is this web site that is dedicated to cheating on your spouse again ?? why is it not linked too ? or even named ? is it a product of your imagination, or are you trying to convince your future wife you would never do something like that yourself ?

It ok to make things up, it happens all the time here, we understand, ‘don’t have a real story, no problem, just make some shit up’

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:3 Would never happen on TD

Well, you see, if you take half a second to click back on the link to the original article, you would see in the very first line:

A dating website for married people who want to cheat on their spouses is being sued by a former employee who says she damaged her wrists typing up hundreds of fake profiles of sexy women.

But since that was too difficult for you to CYA in your lust to try and make the writers here look bad I went ahead and copied that in for you. Enjoy!

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD

“it seems to me that dating sites are all about cheating.”

First, I’ve never used a dating site, though not because I think there’s anything wrong with the concept.

it seems to me that dating sites are all about cheating. You can cheat by fudging your cleavage on your profile picture. You can cheat by yoinking someone else’s dating profile for your own use.

And, if you’re a married person looking to cheat, you can go to a dating site dedicated to cheaters,

Do you see here how Tim defines “cheating” then sort of ‘slips’ this meaning as to mean “cheating on your spouse”

So a web site dedicated to “cheating” does not mean “cheating on your wife” (but it could) it means cheating on your profile, or your pictures.

But its timbo’s words not mine, if you care to actually read what he said..

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Would never happen on TD

what web site, there is no link to any web site you talk about, your inserted piece makes no indication that it is a web site dedicated to spousal cheating, so WHAT site are you talking about ?

its about ‘fake profiles’ not about cheating on your spouse, or did you just make that up for effect ??

Please let us in on your secret !!!

Chronno S. Trigger (profile) says:

The troll is strong in this one.

I swear they look for anything and everything that might just be ever so slightly wrong and twist the living fuck out of it.

Tim argues against the website probably making fake accounts and the person that might be faking a repetitive stress injury, yet Blue insists that it’s only about slamming the employee.

Tim obviously points out two different types of cheating, but green swirly AC up there insists that it’s one type and only one type possible. Then bitches about there not being a link to a adult social network dedicated to cheating spouses even though a link isn’t required or relevant to the article.

Before that green swirly defends OoTB by saying everyone else makes “Ad Hom’s” and Blue is the only one being logical, even though Blue is intentionally (it can’t be accidental at this point) missing half the article and making the ad hominems at the same time.

I’m sorry Tim, but I think I found the problem. You’re too smart and you don’t dumb down your articles enough. You assume the readers are going to use intelligence and logic when there seems to be a coordinated team of people intentionally not using them.

Marak says:

Congrats om the impending wedding Tim.

Sortof OT: Dear god the trolls must be borrd today.

OT: Surprise factor? pretty low, CT syndrome not linked to typing? woo…. err what about masturbation?

on a side note the verbal masturbation from the trolls today, perhaps they should seek medical help, or some sort of aupport brace, dont want them getting CT and not being able to whine now do we?

The Groove Tiger (profile) says:

“So, remember, when you’re trolling the internet for someone to cheat on your spouse with, chances are you’re not talking to a real human being. And if you’re unhappy at home, there are much more fun ways to get sore hands than typing on your keyboard.”

Well, some of them require a bit of typing. Hopefully just enough that you can use one hand only.

crade (profile) says:

I was actually interested in your link to carpal tunnel, it’s pretty wierd starting with:

“Carpal tunnel syndrome may be caused by making the same hand and wrist motion over and over.”

and following it with
“Studies have not proved that carpal tunnel is caused by typing on a computer, using a mouse, or repeating movements while working […]”

So making the same hand and wrist motion may cause it, but not repeating movements while working? Or do they just mean they haven’t “proven” it can be ever be caused by anything?

crade (profile) says:

Re: Re:

Then in the treatment section it lists all the treatment as
changing typing activities and states

“Some of the jobs associated with carpal tunnel syndrome include those that involve typing and vibrating tools. “

It sounds to me like that link you provided is basically saying “as far as we can determine, carpal tunnel is caused by typing, we just havent been able to prove it”.

I was hoping for something more comforting hehe

John Fenderson (profile) says:

Re: Re:

I think it depends on precisely what motions you’re repeating.

I know that personally, despite being a heavy daily keyboard user since I was 12, I don’t even have the first sign of carpal tunnel. My suspicion is that this is a bit like being “sensitive to gluten”: a tiny percentage of people really suffer from it, and a larger percentage of people convince themselves that they do.

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