Lost An Email? Just Call The NSA!

from the backup-and-disaster-recovery-for-idiots dept

Throughout all the reporting on the NSA’s massive surveillance programs, both international and domestic, you’ll occasionally hear an increasingly common response: let’s just all troll the hell out of them. The idea, of course, is that the NSA’s collection of everything ever simply sets up a massive problem of extrapolating the number and size of haystacks in which they must find the terrorism needle. Anyone pissed off about how the American government is treating them via spying on their activities might suggest that they surreptitiously insert a bunch of likely flagged words into normal communications just to make things a bit tougher on the agency. And, despite the fact that these suggestions are usually made half-seriously, often accompanied by nervous laughter and a quick review of surroundings to ensure no black vans are present, the NSA has acknowledged the problem and has said it is prepared for the trolls. This is in response to entire websites devoted to online antics and shenanigans, all designed to make the job of the NSA just a tad bit more difficult.

But not all such antics need take place online, as evidenced by my new personal hero, a man in Holland who called the NSA to retrieve and an email he said he’d accidentally deleted.

This is what brilliance looks like. The logic is as flawless as the hapless NSA receptionist is flummoxed. In case you can’t see the embedded video, this wonderful man called the NSA’s general number and claimed he accidentally deleted a Gmail email and that his local computer repair tech had suggested calling the federal agency, since they obviously have a copy. What follows is a lengthy conversation with a woman, who is likely just trying to do her job, that should probably be up for some kind of comedy award.

But take note, people: this doesn’t work. While the NSA certainly may have your email, but they won’t serve as your backup provider. Which is just as well, since that’d take a significant revenue stream away from me, personally. Thanks for not intruding everywhere, NSA.

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Comments on “Lost An Email? Just Call The NSA!”

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19 Comments
Vic says:

And, despite the fact that these suggestions are usually made half-seriously, often accompanied by nervous laughter and a quick review of surroundings to ensure no black vans are present,

Ahh, the good old times. That phrase describes PRECISELY how it was in the Soviet Union when I was growing up there (late 1960s to very early 1980s)!

OldMugwump (profile) says:

Kudos to him. Both he and the nice NSA lady stayed polite and professional the whole time.

But he’s not a US citizen, so doesn’t get to participate in our socialized, government-run free email backup system.

NSA should really offer to restore his email for a small fee. It would go a (very small) way toward paying for the cost of our American Stasi.

ECA (profile) says:

Iv always wondered

This has been in my mind for many years..

If you want to get MJ across the border, WHY NOT spay a light amount around EVERYTHING??

Take a small amount of stems and pieces and boil it abit of alcohol for a short time and poor a water mix, around cars Gong back and forth across the border.
You could even sit on the Side of the main road and just Spritz Cars as they go by..

You would saturate the area to the point that ANY/ALL dogs could smell would be MJ..

HOw crazy could this be?

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Iv always wondered

This is the steganography problem. Unless you were sitting and doing this ALL THE TIME, the mere fact that it’s happening at the time means that a shipment is in process. The cost of searching every car for this time probably isn’t too high.

Plus, if you’re only spraying one side of the cars, and suddenly there’s a car that the dogs report a positive signal on BOTH sides of the car… then that’s the one to search. So you find a way to only store the drug on one side of the car, but then the cost of searching goes down, as they only have to search half the car!

tl;dr: (counter-)security is hard

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