Iran's New Jet Can Fly (In Photoshop, At Least)!

from the silly-dictator,-tricks-are-for-kids dept

You really start to get the feeling that some of these less-friendly nations aren’t even trying anymore. We recently covered how North Korea tried to scare the bejeezus (technical term) out of the States with an incredibly strange movie about a man dreaming of the nuclear annihilation of America, except they used video game footage to produce it. This wasn’t the first of such instances, but you begin to get the feeling that the attempts, at best, are not getting any better and, at worst, are getting even more lame. As someone who grew up in the 80’s, I have to pine for the days when a possible enemy nation really put in the effort required to scare the hell out of me. The USSR did this extremely well, causing more people to build almost-certain-to-fail bomb shelters than The Discovery Channel would know what to do with. Each silly attempt only makes me shake my head, mostly because I have to wonder who these guys think they’re going to fool in the era of the internet and its global group of fact-checkers.

Which brings us to the new fighter jet, unveiled by Iran and named the Qaher-313, which could well actually be able to fly, but you can’t know that from the photoshopped pictures released to state run media. Here’s a comparison between a stock image of Mount Damavand, a well-known natural landmark in Iran, and a suspiciously similar image with the new jet flying over it.

Look, it’s not that the jet doesn’t look pretty sweet flying over Mount Damavand, it’s just that if the majority world opinion is that your country is still using Russian war technology because you can’t build working models on your own, an easily-discovered photoshop of your plane… you know… actually flying probably isn’t going to impress anyone. Put some effort into it, guys. At least figure out a way to alter the cloud formations, so they aren’t identical.

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Comments on “Iran's New Jet Can Fly (In Photoshop, At Least)!”

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75 Comments
Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: It gets worse.

Since when has the anti-piracy cartel been effective at anything except ripping people off? For them to be effective Iran would have to have something that we would want them to steal. They don’t have any technology that’s worth a shit. They don’t appear to have any talent either. They really don’t appear to have much money. Their land is pretty much a desert. What’s of value that the cartel could steal? Oil? Maybe. But that takes effort to get and these guys don’t like expending effort.

As far as the Geneva Convention goes, when has the law, International or otherwise, made any difference to them?

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:4 Re:

Very convincing source. A twitter user said 150 died.

How about this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rXPrfnU3G0

I am sure there were countless instances like this of innocenct people murdered that we will never see.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/01/22/detainee.documents/index.html

The link above surpasses your kill count, and these are US detainees.

http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,13319,98759,00.html

I could go on for a while with documented murders by the hands of US soldiers.

Furthermore, if you think that attrocities commited by Iran are any comparison to what the US has done you are a fool.

How many military bases does Iran have around the world to enforce their foriegn policy?

Dark Helmet (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:5 Re:

“The link above surpasses your kill count, and these are US detainees.”

Your link only counts 30 or so homicides as “unjustifiable”, so not, that doesn’t up the kill count. Beyond that, you’re comparing enemy combatant detainees being killed, though deplorable if true, to a govt. killing it’s own protesting citizens. They aren’t even close to analogous, as you well know. Your comment on Wikipedia as a source is Luddite nonsense unworthy of a response.

“I could go on for a while with documented murders by the hands of US soldiers.”

Again, in WAR. And if you want to call the Iraq or Afghanistan wars unjustified, you’re free to make your case, but you’ll be wrong. Citizen casualties are unfortunate, but strictly in war times, I’ll value my country’s lives over the enemies lives any day of the week. Try again.

“Furthermore, if you think that attrocities commited by Iran are any comparison to what the US has done you are a fool.”

When judged against their capabilities? I don’t think so. Plus, we then have to weigh all the good both sides do and see who comes up on top. I trust that isn’t a wager you want to make, should you be sane.

“How many military bases does Iran have around the world to enforce their foriegn policy?”

Do you really doubt that the theocratic state of Iran would LOVE to have many more bases than the US has if they had the capability? That they haven’t done something because they CAN’T is no point in your favor….

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:8 Re:

Fair enough, but does not make it any less meaningful.

“but strictly in war times, I’ll value my country’s lives over the enemies lives any day of the week.”

Good thing we are in a perpetual state of war so you can always justify the killing of human beings that live outside the made up lines of your country.

“we then have to weigh all the good both sides do and see who comes up on top”

Ah, the good things, you mean like enforcing copyright? Providing munitions to rebels?

“comparing enemy combatant detainees being killed, though deplorable if true, to a govt. killing it’s own protesting citizens.”

Here you go… from wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kent_State_shootings

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:9 Re:

And just because the have not began using real bullets yet, once the proles start protesting for the real reasons, you can bet your ass all the ammunition DHS has been buying will come to good use.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/10/26/marine-veterans-skull-fractured-by-police-projectile-at-occupy-oakland-protest/

Dark Helmet (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:11 Re:

I have to assume on this point that you’re saying “our government” meaning the United States, because that just isn’t true of the Iranian government. I would never suggest you cannot decry certain actions by the USA. I do it myself quite regularly, as a writer on this site. But your assertion that we are somehow a murderous country with evil in our hearts is ridiculous….

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:12 Re:

Not sure if you thought the other AC was me.

“I would never suggest you cannot decry certain actions by the USA. I do it myself quite regularly, as a writer on this site.”

I realize this and respect it

“your assertion that we are somehow a murderous country with evil in our hearts is ridiculous”

Where did you get this idea? If it is based on my comments in this thread then the same can be said about your assertation that Iran is somehow a murderous country with evil in its heart.

Dark Helmet (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:13 Re:

Either way, I enjoyed this discussion. I think it’s incredibly easy for our fellow patriots to dip into the talking points without any knowledge of the history of the world, our nations, or the matter at hand. Such discussions devolve, naturally, into meaningless the like of which should be familiar to anyone who watches cable news.

That two disparate thinkers can discuss these things openly is a beautiful thing….

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:14 Re:

You simply think that killing 72 to 155 alleged civilians per year in 2011 (in Pakistan alone) justifies preemptive attacks upon alleged millitants (totaling 330 to 575)?

So about 2 to 8 alleged millitants per civilian murdered in a country we are not at war with is not wrong? Interesting perspective.

Source (pg.23): http://web.law.columbia.edu/sites/default/files/microsites/human-rights-institute/files/COLUMBIACountingDronesFinal.pdf

…more on the site as well: http://web.law.columbia.edu/human-rights-institute/counterterrorism/drone-strikes/counting-drone-strike-deaths

“call the Iraq or Afghanistan wars unjustified, you’re free to make your case, but you’ll be wrong”

What about Pakistan and Yemen? We at jusitfied war there buddy?

And, just saw this on the secrecy angle: http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2013/02/graham-drones/

If the use of bombs isn’t wrong, why don’t they just tell the truth?

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:14 Re:

Also, I’m pretty sure the 2nd AC that you thought was me was talking about abortions… and I don’t think they use bombs in that situation.

Although, I hope this comment of yours was intended for me: “Either way, I enjoyed this discussion… That two disparate thinkers can discuss these things openly is a beautiful thing.”

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re:11 Re:

That is exactly what I am doing, if you didn’t notice.

So, are you suggesting that we continue to let them do things we aren’t proud of because they allow us to criticize them?

What is the point of being able to do so if we don’t?

They raped us… but at least they used lube! The Iranians don’t use lube so put a fucking smile on your face.

Dark Helmet (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:12 Re:

No, the point, which appears lost on some who wish to denigrate my fair country, is that democracy is an amoeba, meaning that it ebbs and flows like a conglomerate of living things, which of course it is. To point at one particular time and say, “Look! Bad!” may perhaps be satisfying, but is is a false method for truth.

The same cannot be said of Iran, which has a rather amiable consistency of anti-freedom actions. Recall that it is you that chose to compare the two, for reasons I cannot surmise….

Wally (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:10 Re:

Let me tell you about the DHS. There’s not much to say when either FoxNews Network or MSNBC complains about them as that is known as bias media. Admittedly Techdirt also seemed bias at times but usually were right about the waste of money by the DHS. The conformation of that is that a local news broadcaster in my area (WTTE-Columbus) started complaining about how much money Ohio alone spends funding the DHS..it neared just below $1-billion a year. You want to talk about too much expenditure….the DHS is a prime target.

Wally (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:10 Re:

Harkens to my home state DH. A private investigation revealed that in fact, an FBI Issue .38 Smith and Wesson Revolver fired the first shot.

Kent State was a very terrible tragedy in deed. You know the infamous photo where the dead body of a student was being carried into an ambulance on a gurney? My 7th grade phys. ed teacher was about 2 feet to the left just off camera.

nasch (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re:5 Re:

The link above surpasses your kill count

I think it’s fruitless to try to analyze which country is “better” based on body counts. Has the US killed more people than Iran since Iran became a country (whenever that was)? I would think so. Is that because the US is more evil? I don’t think so. Does it mean the world would be better if more countries were more like Iran and less like the US? I doubt it.

DCX2 says:

Re: Re: Re:2 Re:

Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Those were civilian cities. They were not valid military targets. I do believe their kill count far exceeds anything the Iranians have ever done. By a few orders of magnitude.

Of course, that’s just direct actions. Will we take responsibility for our indirect actions? It’s kind of funny when you think about it, actually; we had Saddam Hussein hanged for using the chemical weapons that we sold to him. However, we sold them to him so he would use them on the Iranians, and when he used them on the Kurds – after they tried to assassinate him – well, we didn’t like that as much.

Do we share any culpability for selling Saddam Hussein chemical weapons, knowing full well he intended to use them against the Iranians? I guess we justified it because the Iranians had overthrown the Shah a few years earlier and we were probably a little upset about losing control of Iran. Do you remember the Shah? He was chosen to control the Iranian government when the CIA-instigated coup overthrew the democratically elected government of Iran back in 1953.

What about all the innocent people who die as a result of our sanctions? For example, there were many sanctions in place against Iraq during the 90s. Infant mortality went from better-than-world-average to less-than-world-average in just two years of sanctions which lasted more than a decade. Experts estimate at least 100,000 excess deaths among children can be attributed to the sanctions, up to a possible 500,000 excess deaths among children. Mind you, that total is just children, it doesn’t include any adults who died as a result of sanctions. Once again, I think those sanctions have killed orders of magnitude more people than any Iranian action to date.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: Re: Re:

If they are going to just make shit up, why not just go all the way with it? Why not just claim you have some new technologically advanced propulsion system that is completely unknown to the western world. Why even claim mastery of stealth technology? Why not sat that the technology you have developed makes detection of the aircraft irrelevant since it isn’t able to be harmed by conventional technology. I mean, if you’re just going to make the shit up, why not just go big? But wait, that would take creativity, when they can’t even be creative enough to use a different picture of the thing than they previously released. Oh yeah. That’s why.

Richard Hack (profile) says:

Plane probably does fly

One analysis I saw – as opposed to all the Iran-bashing ones – actually made sense.

It indicated that based on the design the plane probably isn’t intended to be “stealth” or even much of a high-altitude fighter. It’s probably intended to be an “anti-helicopter” plane. This is because the US Navy will be using anti-submarine and anti-small boat helicopters to prevent Iran from laying mines in the Persian Gulf in the event of a war. Having a small jet that could fly flow, be hard to detect or maneuver against by regular fighter hets, and make mince-meat of helicopters would be a strategic asset.

Personally I doubt they would survive long against US air superiority once achieved, but the concept makes sense.

Most of the Iran-bashing articles just don’t get that this was a mockup, not an actual plane. Wait until a test unit rolls off the assembly line to decide whether it will fly or not.

Meanwhile, keep this in mind: There is ZERO evidence that Iran has ANY interest whatsoever in nuclear weapons. ALL the real evidence – and logic – points the other way. ALL the ALLEGED evidence has been debunked by one expert or journalist or another. The notion that Iran is pursuing nuclear weapons is PRECISELY the same BS that Iraq was pursuing “WMDs” – and for the same reasons.

iranian says:

iranian jeet

Iran didn’t say that qhaher313 is flying but is going to fly very soon.you are liar about all we(Iranian) do and during more than 30 years it’s clear to all. you kill the people around the world from Iraq to Afghanistan ,Pakistan,Mali,… and al ghaede group(ben ladan=your president bush friend) is your group that help you to war against other country that you don’t like them!!
actually you are not human?! Hiroshima-Nagasaki remember please!!
now killing Syrian people and and and,…
stop joking please!!!!!!!!

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