Latest Thing To Blame On Google? Koi Thieves

from the time-to-blur-the-koi-ponds dept

It seems these days you can try to blame just about anything on Google. The latest? Koi thieves. Yes, the highly sought after colorful fish are apparently disappearing at a higher-than-normal clip, including from some decently secluded koi ponds. Thus, the police have decided that it must be the fault of Google Earth, allowing the dastardly carp criminals to scout out their targets. Google, for its part, points out that Google Earth merely presents publicly available satellite imagery via its app, suggesting, correctly, that it’s a bit unfair to blame Google just because Google presents the same data in a way that others could find elsewhere.

Filed Under: , ,
Companies: google

Rate this comment as insightful
Rate this comment as funny
You have rated this comment as insightful
You have rated this comment as funny
Flag this comment as abusive/trolling/spam
You have flagged this comment
The first word has already been claimed
The last word has already been claimed
Insightful Lightbulb icon Funny Laughing icon Abusive/trolling/spam Flag icon Insightful badge Lightbulb icon Funny badge Laughing icon Comments icon

Comments on “Latest Thing To Blame On Google? Koi Thieves”

Subscribe: RSS Leave a comment
Anonymous Coward says:

Illegal immigration killed our apartment complex koi pond, which had been in continuous existence for almost 40 years.
It was a luxurious touch, and an added expense for the property owner, who paid a koi expert to maintain the fish and the pond.

Our area was hit with a boom of illegal immigration from Central American indigenous people – rural villagers who immediately netted the koi fish and cooked them for dinner. If the fishmongers hadn’t killed the koi, they would have undoubtedly died off because of all the piss that was flooding the pond. Hey, the concrete-bottomed fish pond was a body of water, so why the hell shouldn’t you unzip your fly, aim, shoot and fire?

The property owner finally had to pay someone to pour cement in and fill the pond up after all the fish were gone, since the water had become a de facto Porta Potty, outdoor laundry where women beat their wet clothes on the rocks, and a convenient wading pool for the tykes. Jesus H., I was the most open-minded tolerant person in the world until the illegal aliens started eating our koi fish.

Anonymous Coward says:

Re: Re: #4

The owner sold the property at the high end of the market, cashed out and retired to a foreign country. Also what can you do when someone rents an apartment with fake ID and false employment information, but then pay their rent in full and on time every month? The long-time tenants, including me, saw the pond fishing and the other behaviors, but it became a matter of our word against the newcomers. I chose to move.

Dark Helmet (profile) says:

Re: Re: Re: #4

What the shit are you talking about?

“The owner sold the property at the high end of the market, cashed out and retired to a foreign country”

Okay, who was the landlord? Or if it was a Condo, who was your association prez? Because they should have been all over this. Or your just lying spewing garbage about illegal aliens.

“Also what can you do when someone rents an apartment with fake ID and false employment information, but then pay their rent in full and on time every month?”

Well, for starters you can not rent out to people with false papers, since you seem so sure they were illegals. If you’re a condo, you can get the developer/association to not sell to people with false papers. More pointedly, you could do the neighborhood watch thing and inundate your local police with calls EVERY TIME one of these “illegals” commits any of several misdemeanors you mentioned (misuse of public property, public urination, indecent exposure, etc.etc.etc.) and have them arrested, which ought to get them on an INS bus pretty damn quick.

Plus, it seems to me all of these “illegals” brazenly holding Koi barbecues in front of you could have been arrested for theft, with fairly stiff penalties depending on the going rate for the Koi they stole from the “owner” you mentioned. That also ought to have landed them back in Mexico.

So basically, the moral of the story is this: if you’re going to make up a complete lie in order to attempt to inflame racial tension and hatred, how about, you know, coming up with something less retarded there, Goering.

Chronno S. Trigger (profile) says:

I read about this the other day

From what I read the police guessed that it was because of Google Earth but they made it vary clear that Google Earth was only using things that are already freely available in many different places. If it wasn’t Google Earth than it would have been something else. There didn’t seem to be any blame placed on Google, they just assumed that it was the tool used.

Gene Cavanaugh (profile) says:

Google Earth

Right on, Michael!
If I were going to steal Koi (or anything else) I would do my research first (like going to Court). It wouldn’t matter whether the information was on Google or buried in an archive somewhere, I would find it.
If I wanted to PREVENT a theft, I would need to know what information was available to criminals, but with other things vying for my attention, I would look for it on Google, and stop there – it makes no sense to spend all my time looking for potential problems (the scatter gun approach, as opposed to the rifle shot approach of potential criminals).
So, to me, it is clear that Google Earth may (and likely does) prevent crimes, but certainly it does not enable them!

John85851 (profile) says:

I know Google is a nice target...

… but how about going after the fishing-pole companies? After all, the people had to use something to get the fish.
And how about going after the car companies for making vehicles that conveniently helped the people escape the scene of the crime? Why if it weren’t for those blasted cars, the people will still be walking away from the water with those koi in their hands!

Add Your Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Have a Techdirt Account? Sign in now. Want one? Register here

Comment Options:

Make this the or (get credits or sign in to see balance) what's this?

What's this?

Techdirt community members with Techdirt Credits can spotlight a comment as either the "First Word" or "Last Word" on a particular comment thread. Credits can be purchased at the Techdirt Insider Shop »

Follow Techdirt

Techdirt Daily Newsletter

Techdirt Deals
Techdirt Insider Discord
The latest chatter on the Techdirt Insider Discord channel...