Jack Thompson, Come Quick: Super Mario Bros. Threatens Our Kids

from the save-us dept

We’ve all heard the stores about how folks like Jack Thompson believe video games like Grand Theft Auto are “murder simulators” that need to be stopped. Thompson has even come out against the Sims for the ability to have naked people in the game (oh the horror!). But, new evidence is coming out that he’s perhaps missed a much more nefarious threat: Super Mario Brothers. Apparently five teenaged girls have been arrested for trying to play a real-life version of the game, which involved making up mysterious boxes, and placing them throughout the neighborhood. The local county’s hazardous materials team was called in to examine the boxes, as there were fears that it may have been an attack of some kind. The story seems so ridiculous that it sounds like it should have been an April Fool’s event (it did come out on the 1st), but it seems to have been picked up by a few newspapers by this point… so we’re hoping they actually have some fact checkers (could be a stretch). So, until this is confirmed as a hoax, we’re waiting for the first official condemnations of Super Mario Bros., as a terrorist training simulator.


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Comments on “Jack Thompson, Come Quick: Super Mario Bros. Threatens Our Kids”

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30 Comments
Anonymous Coward says:

There are a couple moron’s in this story:

Moron #1: Al Queda for making everyone uber paranoid (10 years ago, neighbors would think nothing of the boxes)

Moron #2: The neighbor that called the cops

Moron #3: The cops for calling hazmat

Moron #4: Jack Thompson – get laid man. bang a stripper. smoke some pot. deface a stop sign. just do SOMETHING to lighten up.

What is this world coming to? They should abolish all laws. Let the world destroy itself and start over. People that survive have to be at least a little smarter than any of the above.

Xanik says:

Yeah! Video Games Are Evil!

That guy kinda reminds me of the people who say Harry Potter is the work of the devil, and they are really all Satan worshipers…

See, this is what happens when people make assumptions, and dont get down to the cold hard facts. *sighs* Personally, I’m hoping a giant venus flytrap eats him on the way to work ๐Ÿ˜‰

/or vicious, over-sized turtles with frick’n metal helmets on their heads!

Alia Mortuus Angelus says:

I can not believe this guy cares too much, some one needs to just knock some sense into him before he totally ruins what’s left of the good part of the world. When he got all anal about The Sims, he maybe should have played the game before he started being a douche about it. They aren’t even anatomically correct. They’re basically just Barbies that move. So in all fairness, he needs to target the Barbie industry as well.

The more this guy goes out and tries to make videogames have higher ESRB ratings, the more I seriously laugh at him. I’ve played Grand Theft Auto, I’ve played The Sims, I’ve played Mario games, and never have I had the urge to kill, have sex, or jump onto boxes with questionmarks on them. People do that on their own without playing video games. There are much worse things in the world that naked barbies, and killing pixalated strippers. So, Mr. Thompson, get a damn life. You may be a high strung, egotistical lawyer, but in the rest of the world’s eyes, you are a piece of trash. A largeg percentage of the population probably hates you right about now, and their feelings are justified. I just looked up your age on google, and apparently you’re thirty? Christ, man by the way you act, you sound like you’re in your seventies. Get with the times, and stop using Video Games as an outlet for all the world’s problems.

-Alia

The Noot says:

What’s even worse is the fact that they are considering criminal charges against these kids.

I can see it now:

-“What are you in for?”

-“Murder, rape, arson, and rape. What about you?”

-“I got nailed acting out scenes from my favorite video game.”

-“Oh yeah? What game? Grand Theft Auto? NARC? Doom?”

-“No…Super mario Bros.”

Robert Martin (profile) says:

Alia you miss the point

Your little snitfit over critics of how you spend your playtime is out of place.

This has nothing to do with Jack Thompson, and little to do with video games. The local police who busted these girls probably have no idea who Jack Thompson is.

This story is about paranoia regarding boxes with question-marks on them.

Until we emerge from this fearful era, spontaneous outbursts of public art will be perceived by many as a terrorist act.

Xanik says:

Cute Idea The Girls Had Though

I mean, I think that would be funny as heck to just randomly find a box like that. (Unless, it looked like it would be from the Joker/Riddler from Batman… because… that would suck!)

What would be even funnier… get a ton of those boxes, some blow up dolls, fake weapons, (and anything else ‘game’ related we can think of), then ‘decorate’ Jack’s house with them! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Todd Shelton says:

Quick...Call Mr President

Tell him to replace Dicky with Chicken Little

THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING!!!

Come on people, where is this country heading? Alarmism as a result of sensationalism, which is based on loosely-structured “news”, and propogated by a country full of IDIOTS!!

THINK for a second, Joe America, before you believe what you hear/see/read. Just because it’s presented to you through media does NOT mean it’s The Truth Chisled onto Stone Tablets.

/shakes head

and to THINK I’ve got a daughter being born into this B.S. in 2 months. I’m scared of THIS type of crap more than anything else, people…really F’n scared of Mass Ignorance.

AmericanMan says:

Story doesn't make sense: Don't believe it!

Mass Ignorance?

I hear a bunch of whimpy men who need their hind ends paddled when they were younger.

oh no! someone said something…someone made a mistake…lets blow our tops call everyone idiots and dunces and get real scared like little chickens!

Out of the mouth the heart speaks!

Lets get mad at people who are trying to fix the problem instead of terrorists and call each other names!

Lets all act like we are worse than the muslim terrorists.

Wake up from your sleep people and take a look at your self!

What Arrogance!

todd says:

Re: Story doesn't make sense: Don't believe it!

“Lets get mad at people who are trying to fix the problem instead of terrorists and call each other names!

Lets all act like we are worse than the muslim terrorists.

Wake up from your sleep people and take a look at your self!

What Arrogance!”

What arrogance, indeed…..

You’re part of the problem. Blanket statements stem from fear. Fear stems from ignorance. Ignorance stems from being closed-minded and selfish.

Fix your own problems with your ignorance before you talk about “paddling hind ends”.

At least I know we have more terrorists in the world beside Muslims, Idiot.

Anonymous Coward says:

Arrogance is thinking that all Terrorists are Muslims or vice versa, i’m not muslim, but i got friends who are, and they are nice ppl, when u refer the the terrorrists that have been sensationalised, your referring to the extremists? does the IRA ring a bell? i’m sure there are hundred if nto thousands more terror groups in the world that are not muslim,

fact of the matter is, its people, we are all individuals and when you have 6 billion of us, there’s bound to be bad eggs.

there are also ppl who react differently, Jack thompson lashes out at video game concepts, bush waging war on an Oil-Rich “tyranny” what about Poor “Tyrannies” they dont get focus eh? go go freedom fighter Bush, but thats his way…

The term โ€œterrorismโ€ means premeditated, politically motivated violence perpetrated against noncombatant targets by subnational groups or clandestine agents, usually intended to influence an audience.

based on that defintion, Jack Thompson is only missing the Violent bit ๐Ÿ™‚

where did i get that definition?

http://www.cia.gov/terrorism/faqs.html

The CIA, where else ๐Ÿ™‚

F3r@l 5tr1k3r says:

BULLSHIT!

that.. is bullcrap! first its halo.. then Gear of war, GTA,.. now the beloved Mario brothers?!!? as a Gamer i am shocked and offended that people are pointing fingers at the beloved characters i grew up with and calling it a “terrorist simulator”! :'( who next?! pac man? kirby? sonic?! Democracy hating communist need to leave video games and gamers alone!

-one community!

-one language!

-one culture!

if you belive this crap about video games being murder simulators.. stay the hell out of our industry damn it!!!

-F3ra1_5tr1k3r

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