The Latest iPod Killer — Breast iMplants
from the hi-dr-nick dept
Researchers at BT Laboratories say that within 15 years, women will be able to store MP3 players and their music collection in breast implants. “One boob could hold an MP3 player and the other the person’s whole music collection,” apparently. The implants would transmit sound and be controlled over Bluetooth, and could also work with sensors to detect heart murmurs, blood pressure increases, diabetes and breast cancer. Sounds really great and everything — but what happens when they come out with a new model with bigger capacity, a color screen, or plays video? Sounds like the upgrade could be pretty painful. The BT boffin says, “if a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful” — but why just breast implants when it seems like they could be implanted anywhere? Why not make buttocks more useful, or shins? But I guess that’s the perk of a BT research job — sit around all day thinking about boobs and music.
Comments on “The Latest iPod Killer — Breast iMplants”
I’ll mary the first girl who gets this! But wait, will that make them lumpy? Good thing MP3’s don’t skip! Now if they would put a speaker in each one… Hummmm
Makes me wanna get an ipod shuffle implanted in “lil Jimmy”.
better yet, those sony players with the memory stick might come in handy for the male..Id have a lot of storage capacity myself…..
New model what?
“but what happens when they come out with a new model with bigger capacity”
You have to ask? 😎
I hope that bluetooth is more secure by then. I’d hate to have my wife’s breasts hacked into.
Re: hacked boobs?
[insert anti-virus joke]
naw….thats just gross
My new pick-up line
“Let’s go to my place and listen to music!”
So, honey, what’s on the Boob tube tonight?
I get to be the first to say...
No Subject Given
“But I guess that’s the perk of a BT research job — sit around all day thinking about boobs and music.”
Haha! That would be the perky part of the job.
No Subject Given
“but what happens when they come out with a new model with bigger capacity, a color screen, or plays video?“
I wonder where the screen would go. Would the resolution be bigger or smaller depending on the size of the person?
No point in making iPods smaller then.
Next Apple product...
I think apple should market this service.. and call it “iTits”
Really, I think this is a bunch of Malarky. Kinda funny though
No Subject Given
Just great! So now men can say they were just interested in our ?music collection? when they?re staring at our chest?! At least come up with a similar product for men??..it obviously would require less memory? and would theirs send a signal to the guy if he?s erroneously ?downloaded? his music collection on someone else?s ?drive??! Don?t get me started! 😉
Re: LOL > boob tube
If there are MP3s in there, I’m sure it won’t be long until being an investigator for the RIAA becomes a popular part time job. I could use a night job like that. 😉
ipods in boobs
I’m sorry but i dont want to be fucking my girlfriend, go to grab her boobs and feel a lumb…. “um… honey… whats that lump in your breast??”
If I were a girl, I would gladly make my breasts but bluetooth devices with some flesh-padding and nipple-button-dials.
So how would they be powered? Do they tap into the body’s energy supply? Does this mean increased calorie usage? It’s the idea that keeps on giving!
How would you charge the device would you have to shake your boobs like you do with the flashlights.