The Devil's Coachman 's Techdirt Comments

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  • On the post: Judge Says Commerce Outweighs Free Speech Issues When It Comes To Reporting On High School Football

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 09 Jun, 2010 @ 03:31pm

    Wisconsin? Why would any human live there? Cheese?

    High school football? Gimme a break. The idiots should be glad anyone even would want to watch that crap. Morons! God will not help them, but mock them, as they deserve.

  • On the post: Court Says Police In Ohio Can Just Guess How Fast You Were Going And Give You A Ticket

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 09 Jun, 2010 @ 03:25pm

    Let's see - this is Ohio, home of Cleveland, Cincinnati, and other hellholes

    Here's a clue. Stay the hell out of Ohio, where the Kent State murders were simply papered over and forgotten by the authorities. If you think there is any possibility of justice in that wretched crap-hole of a state, you're hopelessly deluded. It has a good probability of being the crappiest state in the USA, and I will take great pains to ensure that I never, ever set foot on its filthy ground. Ohio is a pony-fellating state, which has an average IQ slightly above room temperature, which when you consider winters there, is pretty dismal. Should it simply sink into the earth, nobody would notice or care. Except the fools who still live there. The only state in the union that I can remember a river actually catching fire. It almost makes Mexico look like a legitimate state, but not quite. Yet.

  • On the post: The Ethical And Legal Problems Of Having Patients Sign Over The Copyright On Doctor Reviews

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 09 Jun, 2010 @ 03:08pm

    This is how you spot the true quacks

    Any doctor who tries this crap on you is guaranteed to be a quack, and probably has a high likelihood of killing, maiming, or disfiguring you in the bargain. So, when the brain-dead idiot actually attempts to get you to agree to these ludicrously one-sided terms, run out the door, get on the internet, and let the world know what a vile, self-serving practitioner of substandard medicine they must be. Of course, the large orange beak and the webbed feet should also give you a clue.

  • On the post: Amazon Sued For Selling Smarties

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 09 Jun, 2010 @ 03:04pm

    Gawd! More stupid lawyer tricks! Kill them all, now.

    You'd think this matter would have been anticipated and settled years ago, but no, some turdball with a law degree and a deep larcenous streak decides to pursue crap like this on an adversarial, fee for service basis, instead of negotiating a mutually agreeable settlement. I think all the lawyers in the world should be jammed into Deepwater Horizon wellhead. They're all so full of crap that there's no chance it wouldn't stop the spill. It's gotten to the point that if someone I just met tells me they're a lawyer, I would have no choice but to shoot them dead before they sue me out of existence, I think the title of the play by Charles Ludlam "Turds in Hell" most accurately describes these subhuman vermin. We're in hell, and they're all turds - a self perpetuating cycle with no end.

  • On the post: Big Time Patent Attorney Jumps Into The Patent Trolling Game By Buying 4,500 Patents From Micron

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 07 Jun, 2010 @ 03:12pm

    This is why we all love lawyers so much, while hoping they all die.

    Not only hoping they die, but in such a horrible, painful, and unprecedented manner that making a video of it and distributing it would be one of the all-time money making ventures you could dream up. Imagine being able to see film of an actual lawyer being tortured in a manner that would have made Dr. Mengele blush, until begging to be mercifully dispatched without further ado. And being denied that. Lawyer snuff films! A new industry. I thought of it first, so I'm patenting it, and anyone who disagrees can see my attorney, and torture him to death. Yeah!

  • On the post: More Casinos Succeeding With The 'That Jackpot You Won Was Really A Computer Glitch' Claim

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 07 Jun, 2010 @ 02:50pm

    Anyone who gambles on machines in casinos deserves to lose

    Matter of fact, anyone who gambles in casinos deserves to lose. What is it about the odds favoring the house that so many people fail to understand and accept? This is why I do not gamble in casinos. Lotteries are my sole form of gambling, and I expect to lose every single time, except for the extremely remote possibilities that I may actually win something at all or win the big one. Someone eventually does, but it sure isn't me. At least so far. Can you imagine what would happen if a glitch occurred in the Powerball or MegaMillions lotteries, and the winning ticket was denied payment? Nobody would ever buy another ticket again. Why the same principle doesn't seem to apply to casinos is beyond me.

  • On the post: Terrible Ruling: Forwarding A Link Can Be Considered Defamation

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 07 Jun, 2010 @ 02:01pm

    Hey, it's Texas. It doesn't need further explanation.

    Looks like the Lone Star State is becoming the capital of idiotic jurisprudence in the entire world, never mind the USA. Between the Eastern District patent troll suits and this, sounds like their ideas about secession are something that should be actively encouraged. Then they would have to keep their idiocy to themselves. That, and their pointy-toed boots and six pound belt buckles. Oh, and lest I forget, that shite beer they love so much down there. They won't be missed, ever.

    If I lived there, I'd be looking to move out before some idiot judge made some moronic decision that would somehow negatively impact me directly. As it stands now, they haven't gotten that far, but it sure looks to me that it's where they're heading. It's looking more and more like there isn't a hell of a lot of philosophical separation between the Texas judicial thugs and the Taliban.

    Yeeehaaah! We don't need no stinking Constitution. We'll just make up laws as we wish, and they'll mean what we say they mean, which we can change whenever we want. I'd be pretty embarrassed to say I was a Texan, should I be so misfortunate.

  • On the post: MLB Looks To Sue Annoying Commenters

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 07 Jun, 2010 @ 03:15am

    Even though I hate baseball, maybe I should get on the MLB site

    Perhaps I should take the trouble to register as a user, and then sharply criticize that world class moron Selig, or mention things about his family that may or may not be true, just to piss them off. It's always fun to poke annoying idiots with a stick, just to get a rise out of them, and if they wish to get physical in response, administer a healthy beat-down. Can't do that physically on a forum, but intellectually, it's not a problem. I haven't watched MLB since they went on strike and blew off the Series. Never will again. Anything that annoys and infuriates them is just fine with me, so I may just have to do my part.

  • On the post: Maryland Police Confiscate Biker's Computers After He Catches Questionable Activity On Helmet Cam

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 05 Jun, 2010 @ 05:26am

    There's only two possibilities here.

    Either you're a trolling bunghole, or a complete moron. Now that I think about it, they're pretty much one and the same, so you're a moronic trolling bunghole. Go back to wanking to your porn, Goober.

  • On the post: French Senator Proposes Outlawing Anonymous Blogging

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 02 Jun, 2010 @ 06:02pm

    Re: It's very sad

    Hey, he's from a nation of cheese-eating surrender monkeys, so when all other explanations fail, chalk it up to that. This is a nation to whom Jerry Lewis is a national comedic treasure, who haven't been victorious in battle since Napoleon, and whose aversion to bathing and deodorants is hard to find a parallel to outside the Middle East and darkest Africa. They drink vast quantities of wine that would make Two Buck Chuck taste like DRC burgundy, put butter in everything including their hair, and hold the rest of the planet in undying contempt for having the audacity to not be froggies like them. Screw those snail slurping croissant munchers - not a real man to be found in the whole country. Other than that, I have no problem with them. For the moment.

  • On the post: Canadian DMCA Introduced; Digital Lock Provision Trumps Any And All User Rights

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 02 Jun, 2010 @ 05:32pm

    Since they're Canadian, there's only one thing I can say.......

    Take off, you hosers! Eh?

  • On the post: Lawyer Explains Reasoning For Suing Google Over Walking Directions: It Was Dark

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 02 Jun, 2010 @ 05:30pm

    What intensely stupid cow this creature must be

    I mean, if she actually has a job at this moment, she should doubtless be terminated. No cause needed, just a corporate prohibition against hiring and retaining idiots, applied retroactively. Probably might succeed in convincing a jury that omitting her idiocy from the employment application constituted fraud.

    Would you entrust this woman with anything of value, such as your credit card, your health records, or even flipping your burgers. Of course not! Such an idiot should be put in permanent confinement until they can demonstrate that they have reduced their idiocy to acceptable levels, and it this country, that doesn't take a lot. I sincerely doubt she would ever see the light of day again.

    Every time I read of a case like this, I feel that the movie Idiocracy is actually a documentary of the current state of the world. It used to be funny, but now it is just so sad. So sad. And altogether too true.

  • On the post: How Much Do Most People Really Care About Privacy?

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 02 Jun, 2010 @ 05:21pm

    I care enough about it to not be part of the Facebook lemming brood

    If you want to put your most intimate details of your life on things like Facebook, by all means, feel free to do so. I, on the other hand, do not have a compelling need to spill my guts to people I hardly know, or perhaps just recently met, only to have said information used against me in all the myriad ways possible. If you don't value your privacy, you probably have no real values to begin with, so you have no right of complaint when others use your information against you, sometimes in truly harmful ways.

    If I felt, even for a moment, that someone was spying on my personal life, I would make their own lives so utterly miserable, and inflict such horrific punishment on them, that I would doubtless be their last victim. On the other hand, should I freely display all such information to any casual observers, I would be a complete idiot and deserving of my fate. Very simple stuff, really. I fail to understand why others cannot see this. Massive idiocy on their part is the only explanation I can come up with.

  • On the post: How Much Do Most People Really Care About Privacy?

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 02 Jun, 2010 @ 05:20pm

    I care enough about it to not be part of the Facebook lemming brood

    If you want to put your most intimate details of your life on things like Facebook, by all means, feel free to do so. I, on the other hand, do not have a compelling need to spill my guts to people I hardly know, or perhaps just recently met, only to have said information used against me in all the myriad ways possible. If you don't value your privacy, you probably have no real values to begin with, so you have no right of complaint when others use your information against you, sometimes in truly harmful ways.

    If I felt, even for a moment, that someone was spying on my personal life, I would make their own lives so utterly miserable, and inflict such horrific punishment on them, that I would doubtless be their last victim. On the other hand, should I freely display all such information to any casual observers, I would be a complete idiot and deserving of my fate. Very simple stuff, really. I fail to understand why others cannot see this. Massive idiocy on their part is the only explanation I can come up with.

  • On the post: Facebook Trying To Get Canadian Spammer To Pay Up

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 01 Jun, 2010 @ 06:05am

    They would get more satisfaction if they pursued non-monetary methods

    Perhaps it would be more of a deterrent to others of this spamming d-bag's ilk if he were to turn up in an alley suffering from multiple fractures, contusions, and lacerations, with no memory of how he acquired them, or who he was, or where he lived. And, the expense to Facebook of having that taken care of in that way would be far less than the current litigation being pursued in utter futility. There are a few organizations with a great deal of experience in this realm, who would be more than pleased to make a deal mutually beneficial to Facebook and themselves, while maintaining the utmost discretion. It could even be the beginning of a beautiful long term relationship. Just a word of advice - keep all communications involved out of any and all electronic media. Word of mouth is word to the wise.

  • On the post: Australian Artists Upset That Australian Tourism Campaign Crowdsourced Images

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 29 May, 2010 @ 05:25am

    Like anyone actually needs professional photographers anymore

    What a bunch of wanking twits! If anything, this should make the government and anyone else wonder why they would pay such a bunch of untalented whiners anything at all, for merely duplicating what anyone with a decent digital camera and a photo editing program could do. Why would they? I guess being an idiot would be an important factor, since only an idiot would pay them.

    Bloodsucking leeches, the lot of them. Boycott all photographers for a few months or years, and see who's left whining. Sorry, you prats, but you'll never win this one unless you have a whole lot of money to pay off a large number of politicos. Go take your infantile crying elsewhere, like maybe your local pub, where they will doubtless pummel you insensate, leaving you face down in your own water and vomit. Prats!

  • On the post: Using An Online Map As Part Of Your Criminal Activity Gets You A Longer Sentence In Louisiana

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 28 May, 2010 @ 12:24pm

    But, but, but.....it's for the children!

    Why else would they pass a law like this? Yeah, that's the ticket - it's for the children. And it fights terrorism. And it makes us all more secure. It turns a sandwich into a banquet. It removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets. It'll get you a job. It is a job. And, lest we all forget, it's from Louisiana. That's really all you need to know. So how can this law not pass?

  • On the post: Police Just Guessing When They Can't Clearly Read License Plate In Red Light Camera Photos

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 28 May, 2010 @ 12:17pm

    Re: Not a habit

    And your certainty is based on what? A guess? Based on what? Nothing at all? Right! I imagine you must have done really well in school, basing your certainties on guesses when taking tests. Was 2.0 a commendable passing grade in your school? Oh, and I would also think that your expressed "doubt" also confirms the legitimacy of your certainty. Wow, you are a master of Self-delusional Logic. Well done. Now, begone!

  • On the post: Pentagon: If You Don't Let The US Gov't Spy On Your Network, You Place American Lives At Risk

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 28 May, 2010 @ 08:33am

    Thanks, but "Wild West" works for me and others quite well.

    Another "I'm from the Government and I'm here to help." moment. I guess I should not be surprised at Defense Department nincompoops making pronouncements that cause one to wonder how long they've been channeling Josef Stalin. Wait until the mandatory webcams in all residences are suggested. Just give them time.

  • On the post: Supreme Court Asked To Explore Whether 'Innocent Infringement' Is A Legit Response In File Sharing Cases

    The Devil's Coachman ( profile ), 28 May, 2010 @ 08:24am

    Burger King Theory? Off your meds today?

    I have no idea what point you are trying to make here. Neither, I suspect, do you. Please desist from posting until your medications stabilize. Or perhaps you've stopped taking them entirely? Read the label on it or the package insert, and I'm sure you'll find words to the effect that sudden cessation of the drug can have serious side effects, as we all know you are now doubtless well aware of. Unfortunately, doubling up on skipped doses is not generally recommended, but if you go back to bed right now, and take it as soon as you get up tomorrow, I'm sure you'll feel much better then. So will we.

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