Man Sues Cable Company For Fat Wife And Lazy Kids

from the no,-seriously dept

It reads like a parody, but, unfortunately it appears to be real. I'm still waiting to read that this is just a very early April Fool's joke, but this article (found at broadbandreports) says that a man in Wisconsin is suing Charter, his local cable company, for making his wife fat and his children lazy channel surfers. His argument is that he called to have the cable disconnected in 1999 - and Charter stopped charging him, but kept the cable service going. He claims that he and his whole family became addicted to the free cable, which has led to all sorts of problems: "I believe that the reason I smoke and drink every day and my wife is overweight is because we watched TV every day for the last four years." I'd say this one may beat out previous lawsuits for the perfect example of how people simply refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. Please, someone, tell me it's a joke.

Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1. identicon
    OldYeller, Jan 8th, 2004 @ 10:46am

    ...and the puishment fits the crime?

    Not a joke, I'm afraid. The real punchline is that the guy's proposed "remedy" for being turned into TV-watching couch potatoes is to be set up for life as web-browsing couch potatoes.

    Not that this should ever reach a court, but in a perfect world the "remedy" would simply be disconnecting their cable and providing them each with a new set of walking shoes.

    Of course, you could always send them a punitive message by hooking them up with Richard Simmons...

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2. identicon
    Cigamit, Jan 8th, 2004 @ 12:03pm

    No Subject Given

    So does the guy just not know that the TV has both a Power Button and a Power Cord? Both are effective in turning off the TV. And if that doesn't stop the situation, there is always the ability to unscrew, or heaven forbid, cut the cable line. But ofcourse, just from him filing this lawsuit, I can tell that he doesn't have enough intelligence to know about these complicated methods.

    What is the world coming too?

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3. identicon
    msykes, Jan 8th, 2004 @ 2:59pm

    Re: No Subject Given

    Forget unplugging it, if this guy really cared about his family he would take an f-ing hammer to the TV. I think that we need a new law where if you file a lawsuit and it's found to be completely without merit like most of these new-wave american lawsuits are, you have to pay some fraction of the amount sought in the suit to some charity, or the government or someone.


    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  4. identicon
    Dan, Jan 8th, 2004 @ 8:20pm

    No Subject Given

    I like the fact that he wants $5,000 or 3 computers with internet access for life. I'm sure that will make his family healthy if they can't turn off a TV.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  5. identicon
    LittleW0lf, Jan 8th, 2004 @ 9:08pm

    People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to breed

    This guy gets 4 years of free cable, and he threatens an employee of the cable company and demands $5000 or three computers and a life time supply of cable internet. The good thing is that there is a police report on his threats, so a judge can laugh him out of court.

    I hope his lack of intelligence was a fluke in his family tree and that his kids drank far more from the IQ juice than he did.

    If anything, the cable company should send him a bill for four years of free cable...sure, he won't pay for it, and no judge would force him to pay because it was their screw-up...but he obviously didn't complain to them about receiving cable for free over the past four years. If I didn't want the cable, I'd unplug it, and if I noticed that they still hadn't shut it off, I would tell them every week that it is still active.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6. identicon
    hmm, Jan 9th, 2004 @ 11:41am

    Re: People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to bre

    I think cable company can sue him. It's like someone leaves a wallet at your house, and you start using their credit cards and stuff. Assuming that the card owner does not notice the transactions - it's very similar to this case...

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  7. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jan 10th, 2004 @ 11:19pm


    You know, you're providing Techdirt for free and I do nothing but sit around and read it all day instead of working or exercising. Techdirt must be the reason I'm fat and broke! It's... an attractive nuisance! Expect to hear from my lawyer in the morning.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  8. identicon
    Sven, Jan 12th, 2004 @ 9:30am

    No Subject Given

    I live by the fat ass that this is about, His wife was fat and ugly b-4 cable and the guy drinks so damn much cause he is a lazy fat-so himself

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  9. identicon
    Tracey Stevens, Jan 16th, 2004 @ 12:56pm

    Free Cable for 4 years

    I found this story intriguing because last year I called the cable company to shut off my cable because I was addicted to TV. Now I still have a TV but no rabbit ears or cable and my quality of life has improved immensely. However, a week after I had the cable company pick up the box, they called to offer me FREE CABLE for a YEAR. After I said no thanks, they sent a letter with the same offer. I think the cable companies are conspiring to control what's left of our minds. They don't care if we pay for it, as long as we watch plenty of commercials. People, if you want free cable, tell the cable company you want to shut it off because it's rotting your brain. They'll give it to you for free so you can get out there and buy a bunch of s**t you don't need.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  10. identicon
    mike, Feb 28th, 2005 @ 3:49am

    No Subject Given

    this poor man is obviously a VICTIM. where is the government? we pay taxes so that the government will protect us. i think the fcc and cable company are both responsible. also tv manufacturers should be held liable for the damages caused by their products

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  11. identicon
    Jim Kotsonis, Mar 22nd, 2006 @ 5:18pm

    Fat and Lazy

    Nope, no joke. The, very intelligent and straight faced, judge in charge of this waste of time lawsuit told the gentlemen in question that he and his family have nothing more to blame then themselves. In my opinion the lawyer of this case should be disbarred and publicly flogged. This is the kind of problems that our society on a whole is suffering from. We are amongst the fattest people in the world and all we do is blame others for it. Take a stand and get the heck out of your homes and play ball, walk, anything. Don’t blame others for your lack of self control.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  12. identicon
    Rachel, Jun 3rd, 2006 @ 10:08am

    This is stupid!

    When will people take responsibility for their actions?! If he was so worried about having a fat wife and lazy kids, then why not offer to take them to the park for a walk. Or take them out for excersise and unplug the TV. It is not TV's problem that people get fat.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  13. identicon
    Torill, Aug 23rd, 2006 @ 7:22am


    I'll say: ONLY IN AMERICA!!!!
    Thank GOD that we don't waste time and money on stupid lawsuit like this in Europe.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  14. identicon
    Laleisha Jenkins, Dec 6th, 2006 @ 9:18pm

    Hell yeah

    I know this bitch ain't talking I will whip her motherfuckung ass on this hoe.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  15. identicon
    Fatsuperman, Nov 21st, 2007 @ 7:15pm

    Community for People that Have Fat wives/husbands

    There is a web based support site of sorts for people with fat spouses.

    It isn't judgmental like most web sites where they accuse the thin spouse of being shallow, and you don't see the "dump the fat bi**ch rhetoric that is so common too. Real people with real fat spouses.


    its not spam, the web site isn't selling anything so there is nothing to gain , I'm just trying to help people out

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  16. identicon
    Paul, Apr 2nd, 2008 @ 12:27am

    What a fat Fuck. I hope he dies with from heart attack before a judge even gets the chance to laugh at him.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  17. identicon
    isolader, Apr 2nd, 2013 @ 8:20pm

    Re: Free Cable for 4 years

    Your a moron!!!

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

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