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IBM Wants Patent On Conference Call Laugh Tracks
from the is-this-funny-to-you? dept
theodp writes "The first known use of a recorded laugh track is said to be in 1950, when the producers of the Hank McCune Show added canned laughter after the show's taping. Almost 60 years later, IBM says it deserves a patent for 'inventing' adding canned laughter to conference calls. 'A pre-selected stored sound (e.g., an interjection such as a laugh) may be generated if there is a period of silence on one of the telephone lines that exceeds a threshold,' explains Big Blue in its just-published patent application for Enlivening Conference Calls to Make Conference Calls More Interesting for Participants. Eureka!"
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What are they patenting?
Are they patenting some kind of software that recognizes periods of silence and then injects an audio track onto the call? I would think that there would be several examples of prior art within current automated answering systems (the ones that answer, "I'm sorry, I didn't get that" if they don't recognize or hear anything).
The other question I have is about applicability. If the software is listening for silence, is it listening in on the conversation too?
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...LOL
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Another excellent example of an implementation patent! Whats an implementation patent you ask?? Well think about the "on the internet" patent. It's all the same stuff that's been in the public domain, simply because our predecessors were stoodgy old stick in the muds who didn't get the idea economy.... In this day and age we just tack "on the internet" to the end of any obvious action and BINGO it's an "invention".
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I'm feeling lazy today so I'm not going to go out and get information myself. Did they patent putting in the laugh track or did they patent a method for doing this? That makes a big difference.
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"The first known use of a recorded laugh track is said to be in 1950, when the producers of the Hank McCune Show added canned laughter after the show's taping. "
That's prior art, you can't invent something, release it, and then ask for a patent years later.
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Re:
From what I'm reading, it's a patent for a device that listens for no sound on the phone line, counts down a specific amount of time, and plays a pre-recorded sound. The laugh track isn't important here, it's only used as an example.
This sounds like an automated version of a device I saw back in the early nineties. The device would plug into the phone, back when all phones were wired, and you could press a button and it would play a pre-recorded sound threw the phone line.
So, they are taking three devices and putting them together.
1) A device that starts a countdown on a non signal and will activate something when the countdown finishes unless a signal appears again. This is done in programing and electronics all the time. (a nand gate?)
2) A device that will play sounds threw the phone line. See the device I mentioned earlier or something like an on hold track.
3) A decibel meter. (If I have to explain that, I probably have to further explain the other two)
I can see that the only reason this hasn't been patented before, or at least no prior art, is because it's a stupid idea and would never be implemented in a professional environment.
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A Sample Conference Call
Regional Manager: So that's why had to shut down 12 stores and lay off half of you here. Any questions?
Silence.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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Re: Re:
Thank you. That kept me from having to read the entire article, and yes, I agree that it's a stupid idea.
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A million monkeys at a million typewriters
Patent anything and everything you can get away with. If you do that a million times something is going to be worth some money some day. Perhaps I should patent sprinkling flower on the tabletop before putting down the dough .... remotely over the internet. Then when a company comes up with custom baked bread that you and your kids make over the internet and have shipped to your home..... I got em. No more white boogers for me, I'll be sippin' margaritas on my private island.
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"Let us have a moment of silence for our late VP that died at an eating contest."
Silence
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Such a unique idea
The radio station I worked at in the 80's had one of these. If it detected dead air for a specified period, it would play a specific cart and also call the station manager and connect him to the studio telephone (the only one that RANG in the studio). You did NOT want to wake up to THAT call.
Thanks, IBM, for inventing something that was pretty common 25 years ago.
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Another Sample Conference Call
Executor of Millionaire's Estate:
"I, Johnathan E. Moneybags, being of sound mind and body, hearby bequeath my entire estate to my cherished pet chihuahua "stinky". I leave nothing to my ingrate children or my frigid wife." Any questions?
Silence.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
I'm still scratching my head over this one. I honestly can't think of a situation where this would be a good idea. Laugh track, keyboard cat, current time and temperature, none of it sounds like added value.
Are we just patenting everything that crosses someone's mind, now? Just in case?
Silence
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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My new patent
I'm going to patent something similar for those rare buy annoying TechDirt stories that seem to sit for 2 hours with no comments.
No comments within twenty minutes?
Insert:
Silence....
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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They are seriously wasting time and money on that?
That would annoy me to no end on a conf call, they are bad enough as it is.
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Dibs!
I call patent on crickets!
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Re: A Sample Conference Call
Regional Manager: Wow, I am glad you all are taking this so well. I guess then you won't mind that none of you are getting severance pay either! Bwahahaha!
Silence.
HAHAH*interrupted by sound of guns being loaded.
Regional Manager: OH SHIT!
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My Patent
I call dibs on the patent covering the combination of Hydrogen and Oxygen in any way, shape or form. I hearby also declare patents on all Nitrogen/Oxygen/Trace Gas substances. Oh yeah, I patent Carbon as well!!!
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I do not disdain patents, but I do disdain those within any company who seek patents for "inventions" that so obviously have absolutely nothing to do with the company's strategic business interests.
Frankly, this application strikes me as little more than an attempt to secure a patent, not for business reasons, but for reasons having to do with the inventors getting a piece of paper with a nice ribbon for hanging on their ego walls and inclusion in their resumes/CVs.
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Re: My new patent
That's awesome!
Mike, that should take a couple minutes of scripting. You might want to patent the idea, though.
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Re: A million monkeys at a million typewriters
Mwahaha!
This is another one of the patents my family has had for YEARS! Now if you don't mind, I'll be suing you for those margaritas & the private island... and for good measure the rest of your hopes & dreams as well.
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I'd patent stupidity, but there's apparently too much prior art.
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Actually, I almost hope they get this, so conference calls by other group do not have this ridiculous canned laughter.
"Alright, does anyone know who flooded the corporate basement today?"
Silence
(You get the Idea).
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... and for good measure the rest of your hopes & dreams as well.
Sorry, GE beat you to it ... four years ago.
They have lots of lawyers all in very nice suits.
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Re: Dibs!
Too late; I already have that and use it during team meetings when asking for volunteers. :-)
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Another way to belie reality?
I see lots of people talking about technical elements but where's the "Hold on a minute; I don't need one more way to be manipulated"? I'm still worrying about the ways technology is breaking down real connection that reflects honesty. Laugh tracks online? Oh my.
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Not Yet
This really isn't a granted US patent, merely a "published application" that has yet to be examined by the Patent Office.
The purpose of this is to demonstrate to the taxpayers that large American corporations retain their keen innovative edge.
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Re: ... and for good measure the rest of your hopes & dreams as well.
Damn, thwarted by lawyers once again.
You see, a lawyer be an ninja's arch enemy.
Hence, the thousands of lawyers slain by my sword.
A ninja must do his part to rid the world of the vermin lawyers.
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