Capt ICE Enforcer’s Techdirt Profile


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  • Mar 13th, 2017 @ 8:56am

    Bridge anology

    Actually this makes perfect sense. A neighborhood builds a bridge to communicate with each other. But then the NSA, CIA, FBI, 5 Eyes, Samsung refrigerators, law enforcement, and teenagers wanting to tweet clog it up. Hence why I haven't built a bridge in my back yard.

  • Mar 13th, 2017 @ 8:53am

    Porn speed

    I don't know about you, but porn seems to be the only thing I get high speed these days. Maybe all websites should swap to the porn mode in order to ensure high speeds.

  • Jan 23rd, 2017 @ 11:15am


    We don't need a treaty to help with the free flow of information across the globe. We have been doing it for years. If we start to put it in writing then that will allow the government to believe it is allowed to stop it.

  • Aug 18th, 2016 @ 9:29am

    Most see profit lost, I see profit gained.

    Most on the outside would view this as terrible, but from an inside corporate view this slide is great for the company. And this is why Comcast and AT&T are not concerned...

    TV provider weekly meeting...

    Intern: Sir, we are losing customers at an increased rate. Just look at this slide, we are DOOMED....

    CEO: WTF are you talking about. This slide is great.

    First it shows that soon we won't have to negotiate license with companies in order to provide their junk shows.

    Second, this gets rid of the business model of providing customers with unlimited viewing option for one set price.

    Third, it allows us to increase our profit margins. As the cost for hardware decreases month to month, we are able to charge a premium which will increase with the more they want to watch. We will charge $0.20 for each Youtube video, $1.20 for each Netflix video, and just wait until the 4k videos come out. That will be $6.15 for each video based upon the data consumption....

    Boys, we are RICH, Rich, Rich....

  • Aug 10th, 2016 @ 12:25pm


    God dang it. Copyright has led to someone being creative in a whole new way. Now he should copyright that and shut everyone else out of the market without paying him a license fee.

  • Aug 9th, 2016 @ 7:13am

    Business option for ransomware

    Hello internet ransomware companies. Might I recommend that you change your business model. Instead of a one time fee to unlock the device. You should change your EULA to an annual license which charges every year to keep it unlocked. That ways you get more profit.

  • Aug 9th, 2016 @ 7:10am

    Thought of the day.

    Capt ICE Enforcer thought of the day.

    Sometimes the dumbest option is the smartest option to go.

  • Jul 14th, 2016 @ 1:19pm

    Re: Fair sentence.

    Sure this individual has done this numerous times. And every time nobody was physically hurt. Police have gotten use to doxxing, and an easy way for them to handle these types of situations is to access the situation. A preliminary phone call to the supposed target for confirmation with a brief follow up by peace officers is normally all that it would take. Imagine this, 911 call for active shooter or hostage situation... Step 1. Notify officers of the situation in order to prep for the mission. Step 2.. Contact suspected individuals via phone in order to confirm that they are in danger. If they say yes, Immediately launch all forces, if they say no then send a couple peace officers to verify while having the main strike force ready to engage. Step 3, At the scene of the potential crime, all members inside the home/building step outside the home in order to speak with officers. If it is real then the suspects and victims will be separated and the officers will be able to call for backup. If it is fake, then the officers go back to their office or Dunkin Donuts.... Mmmmm... Donuts....

  • Jun 5th, 2016 @ 8:08am


    Full disclosure before you read about it in the comment section: I'm a former opium salesman paid by the CIA to unfairly malign absolutely everybody.

    Where do I apply.

  • May 19th, 2016 @ 8:42am

    No evidence

    No evidence, no evidence they say. The cable company not only killed my wallet, but then it tortured and killed my bank account. I have proof not only from the banks, but my refrigerator being empty and cold.

  • May 4th, 2016 @ 6:53am


    What does comment as signed out mean with the checkmark next to my name mean... Is Techdirt wanting me to call myself signed out?

    Signed Out, (Formerly known as Capt ICE Enforcer)

  • May 4th, 2016 @ 6:50am


    If only someone would compete against the evils of Popcorn time. You know, like offer high quality movies that people actually want to watch at a rate and ease that people want to do it. But heck, what do I know.

  • May 4th, 2016 @ 6:47am

    Re: Re:

    No, those with $21 billion dollars have the most influence. It doesn't matter how much the public screams and complains.

  • May 4th, 2016 @ 6:45am


    You know, these days I truly believe that the lawmakers are bribed err swayed by offering them a free meal at McDonalds. With $21,000,000,000.00 per year at stake. That is a whole lot of kids meals that the cable industry can use to get this turned off.

  • Apr 28th, 2016 @ 7:29am

    Amazing thought of the day...

    A funny comment will be entered here soon.

  • Apr 28th, 2016 @ 7:20am


    This is amazing. Comcast is once again offering the services that are innovative and amazing. What other company will make amazing headlines by creating an artificial cap to the amount you can use something, then create a huge press release about how amazing they are for increasing their artificial cap. It is not regulators that Comcast fears. It is because they care about the people. Comcast for President.... LOL, I hate this.

  • Apr 27th, 2016 @ 7:24pm

    Yeah, Okay

    Yeah, okay. That is great, but why would those who snoop on emails care what other government officials think or say. After all. When your boss can lie under oath repeatedly without getting into trouble. Or torture individuals. Or invade/attack other sovereign nations. Or you can break every rule involving classified information on servers not under government control then run for POTUS. It is abundantly clear that they will keep doing what they want. Without fear of retribution or punishment. This government SUCKS.

  • Apr 25th, 2016 @ 4:39pm

    Usage Caps???

    We will never charge for usage or have data caps. What we have is a RLRP (Real Life Role Play). Here is how RLRP works. Everyone starts out at the bottom of the totem pole. A sewer rat trying to climb your way to success in order to be the King/Queen/CEO or whatever you chose. Here is how you increase your level in RLRP...

    Level / Spend Per Month / Reward
    2: / $100 / Free access to YouTube
    3: / $200 / Free 512 MB of online storage
    4: / $300 / Free drink koozie with our logo on it.
    5: / $500 / Priority data transmission which is still slower than your neighbors.
    65: / $1,300 / You did it, You are the king. Go online and select your Elite membership package. Which includes a $5 string backpack, $4 sunglasses, $1 bumper sticker. All of which include our company logo. $49 charge for shipping and handling.

  • Apr 11th, 2016 @ 3:38am

    (untitled comment)

    Come on now, people don't go to jail or prison for non violent crimes. That would be silly.

  • Dec 8th, 2015 @ 5:19am

    This is BS

    This seriously needs to change. I am not talking about only politicians, government agencies, and to big to fail corporations. I am also including everyone else (This font is looking at you TD reader!). This needs to start now, before things get worse.

    First, everyone needs to understand something. I mean really focus on this. Nobody on this planet can keep you safe other than yourself. Think about that for a few moments, if you want to be safe, then take actions to help you not become a victim. Laws don't work to stop bad people, and though our militarized peace (Police) officers usually have a very short period to arrive at the scene "Few Minutes" usually it only take a "Few Seconds" to be the victim. Remember, nobody cares more about you than you.

    Second; Now that you realize your #1 protection is You and not someone miles away. Realize that this our country, and in fact most of the world is relatively safe. Most of us do not require an armored vehicle to head to the grocery store. So please get out and enjoy the sun.

    Third; The government was not made to protect us against the few individuals. But instead, to protect us against other nations. We should hold them accountable for that mission. If they start to stray away from that mission. Then they get FIRED. Trust me, when your paycheck is at risk. You tend to listen to your boss (Boss = You, Me, the People)

    Fourth; Terrorist, Terrorist, Terrorist.... OMFG Terrorist. Listen, as a 20 year combat vet. There are bad people out there. But remember the first suggestion. Nobody on this planet can keep you safe, but you. I don't mean everyone should become a ninja master. But I have found that if you carry a gun, most people want to behave and be friendly. I bet you that terrorist would be terrorized of you if they knew that every person around them had weapons. Realize that the government cannot keep you safe from bad individuals or small groups.

    Fifth; I have always loved change. Especially in technology. But some changes I personally hate. I went from being a US citizen proud of being known as an American, who has supported and defended the Constitution of the United States ideals. And now, I look at the changes our nation has made. Torturing people, attacking civil rights, invading nations with drone. I now look at us and say this is BS.

    The ideals which made us great are now being removed from the history books. I am not an extremist, I am an idealist. Take responsibility for your actions. Hold others responsible for their actions. Quit allowing others to trample our security for the protection of government agencies which have failed at their job. Defend the constitution and the people of this planet.

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