Coogan 's Techdirt Comments

Latest Comments (138)

• On the post: Congress Introduce Bi-Partisan Bill To Abdicate Its Own Role And Screw Over American Public All At Once

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 09 Jan, 2014 @ 12:42pm

  I've never been to the Capitol Building, but at this point I'd be willing to bet that the toilet paper in the bathrooms are rolls of little squares with pages of the Constitution on them.

• On the post: Average Wait Time For A Response At Administration's 'We The People' Petition Site At 298 Days

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 09 Jan, 2014 @ 08:32am

  Thanks, Sequestration!

• On the post: The Importance Of Justice Sotomayor's Jones Ruling In Laying The Groundwork To Restore The 4th Amendment

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 02 Jan, 2014 @ 01:34pm

  Re: Re: Re:

  Dang it, wish this system had an Edit function.
  
  This:
  
  When I saw "online vs offline"...
  
  was supposed to be this
  
  When I say "online vs offline"

• On the post: The Importance Of Justice Sotomayor's Jones Ruling In Laying The Groundwork To Restore The 4th Amendment

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 02 Jan, 2014 @ 01:32pm

  Re: Re:

  Excuse my poor choice of terminology. When I saw "online vs offline" I really mean "online vs reality". My point is the same as yours: it's a lot easier for the government to violate a person's privacy "online" (your point 1) than is is in "the real world" (your point 2).

• On the post: The Importance Of Justice Sotomayor's Jones Ruling In Laying The Groundwork To Restore The 4th Amendment

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 02 Jan, 2014 @ 11:36am

  
  ?It may be necessary to reconsider the premise that an individual has no reasonable expectation of privacy in information voluntarily disclosed to third parties,? Sotomayor wrote in 2012. ?This approach is ill suited to the digital age, in which people reveal a great deal of information about themselves to third parties in the course of carrying out mundane tasks.?
  
  
  I'm not sure what I find more incredible:
  1. That this nugget of wisdom comes from a government official, or
  2. That it's even considered to be some kind of life-changing "wisdom" strong enough to change a person's mind.
  
  How we define privacy online vs offline may have to be reconsidered in the Internet Age? HOLY SHIT, BATMAN! SOMEBODY CALL DATELINE NBC!
  
  The United State Code of Law: Running 20 Years Behind the Rest of the World.

• On the post: FBI Agent Tries To Register Copyright On Top Secret Interrogation Manual… Making It Available To Anyone

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 20 Dec, 2013 @ 11:40am

  And these are the people in a position to protect the US, it's citizens, and it's assets from threats.
  
  Even scarier, these are the people sworn to protect and uphold the US Constitution.
  
  I don't know whether it's funny or terrifying that the only times these people seem to do anything good is when they massively fuck something up.

• On the post: Ridiculous: Why Is Any Country Supporting Locking In Life + 70 Copyright Term Protection?

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 06 Dec, 2013 @ 12:39pm

  What's the reason that you
  can't make a video parody?
  M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!
  Hey there! You there! Stop there!
  You're stealing our IP!
  M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!
  
  Mickey Mouse!
  Mickey Mouse!
  
  Forever let us hold our copyright!
  RIGHT? RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT!
  
  Come along and sing a song
  For only a modest fee!
  M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!

• On the post: US Hypocrisy: Pushing For Maximum Damages For Infringement, While Settling Its Own Piracy Bill For Less

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 02 Dec, 2013 @ 12:23pm

  The irony is that, in most cases, lawsuit settlements are taxable. So Apptricity will be cutting a check right back to Uncle Sam.
  
  As an added kick in the pants, the Army should send them a shirt saying "The government took $225 million of software from me, and all I got was $30 million and this fucking t-shirt."

• On the post: DailyDirt: Healthier Sodas Still Aren't That Healthy

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 15 Nov, 2013 @ 08:21pm

  I tried the Diet Coke Plus several times. Tasted like normal DC, but just a tad sweeter. I kinda liked it.

• On the post: Rep. Mike Rogers Says France Should Be 'Popping Chamagne Bottles' To Celebrate That We Spy On Them

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 28 Oct, 2013 @ 12:14pm

  If I had to throw out a guess, I'd say he'd be whistling a different tune if if was revealed that the French government has slurped up data on 70 million American phone calls.
  
  "Thank you, France, for keeping us safe!"

• On the post: TSA Security Checks Begin Long Before Travelers Arrive At The Airport

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 22 Oct, 2013 @ 01:01pm

  It's kinda getting to the point where I actually want to be put on a no-fly list just so I can avoid the TSA.

• On the post: Court Tells Asst. Principal That Students' Fake Social Media Accounts Don't Violate CFAA Or Racketeering Laws

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 01 Oct, 2013 @ 06:43am

  The guy is obviously not very smart. For a few dollars he could've run down to the Dollar Tree, bought five plastic squirt guns, planted them in the kids' lockers, and just had them expelled.

• On the post: How The 'Information Dominance Center' Was Made To Look Like The Starship Enterprise Bridge

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 16 Sep, 2013 @ 07:41pm

  "Captain, we have entered orbit around Earth."
  "Excellent. Commence communications intercept."
  "Captain, a ship has launched from the surface and is moving to intercept our course. The ship identifies itself as the USA Constitution
  "Red alert! Evasive maneuvers! Load proton lawyer tubes!"
  "Lawyers loaded, sir."
  "Target that ship and fire!"
  "Direct hit, sir! The ship's shields have been neutralized by our Non-Disclosure Agreements and Motions to Delay"
  "Fire phasers! Pew, pew, pew!"
  "The Constitution...has been violated, captain."
  "Outstanding. Continue full communications intercept. File a report with the ship computer, redact, and bury somewhere deep in the janitorial logs."
  "Yes, sir"
  "Ahh. Another day, another victory for democracy."
  
  [FIN]

• On the post: Feds Beg NY Times, Pro Publica Not To Reveal That They've Inserted Backdoors Into Internet Encryption

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 05 Sep, 2013 @ 01:48pm

  The government insists it has put in place checks and balances to limit misuses of this technology.
  
  I was under the impression we already had checks and balances in place against government abuses of power: the fucking United States Constitution

• On the post: Right Before Snowden Leaks, President Obama Fired Nearly All Members On Key Intelligence Advisory Board

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 16 Aug, 2013 @ 11:03am

  The more I read these stories, the more I want to start a Kickstart campaign to buy thousands of 10 ft x 8 ft pieces of plywood, cut them all into the shape of a middle finger, and start propping them up at various locations around Washington DC. Cuz frak you, DC. Frak you hard, just like you've been frakking us for decades.

• On the post: Lawmakers Issued License Plates That Make Them 'Invisible' To Traffic Cams And Parking Tickets

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 07 Aug, 2013 @ 08:14am

  Re: Re:

  The hell you say. I know for a fact that Pacific Rim actually happened just like in the movie.

• On the post: Lawmakers Issued License Plates That Make Them 'Invisible' To Traffic Cams And Parking Tickets

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 06 Aug, 2013 @ 01:05pm

  While reading this I'm reminded of the little South African bastard in Lethal Weapon 2 who plugged a dozen bullets into Mel Gibson then had the balls to hold up his papers and yell "Diplomatic Immunity!"
  
  It didn't end well for him...

• On the post: Overcriminalization: Congressional Research Service Doesn't Have The Manpower To List All Federal Crimes

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 19 Jul, 2013 @ 08:40am

  Re: Re:

  There's a very deep rabbit hole you could go down when forming an internal dialogue about this subject, and it gets ever more complex and tragic the deeper you go.
  
  It's truly amazing, the divide between what the government expects of you and how much they can punish you for not meeting their expectations. In many cases, even if you ultimately win, you're still in far worse shape than you were before, with little chance of ever being "made whole" again.

• On the post: Overcriminalization: Congressional Research Service Doesn't Have The Manpower To List All Federal Crimes

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 19 Jul, 2013 @ 08:21am

  If you task someone to do something, but then give them too few resources to accomplish it, isn't it your fault for not giving them the resources they need to accomplish the task you've asked of them?
  
  If they have the resources to enforce these laws, it stands to reason that they have the resources to list them all out.

• On the post: Overcriminalization: Congressional Research Service Doesn't Have The Manpower To List All Federal Crimes

  

  Coogan ( profile ), 19 Jul, 2013 @ 07:58am

  "Please, Mr Government. Can you provide me with a list of all crimes? I would like to make sure I do not trespass against those laws."
  
  "Sorry, we can't provide that information. Way too much work."
  
  "But how can I be sure that I'm not breaking any laws"
  
  "We're constantly monitoring your email, phone calls, and your location. We know what library books you check out and can get your credit card and banking data whenever we want. If we suspect you broke a law, we'll arrest you."
  
  "Arrest me!? But then I'd have to spend money on bail, on a lawyer, and take time off from work. All because you suspect I may have committed a crime?"
  
  "Freedom ain't free, sir."
  
  "But that's not freedom."
  
  "Sorry, it's my lunch break."
  
  This is a Bloom County comic strip waiting to happen...

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