from the seriously-creepy dept
We've covered plenty of stupid criminal stories in the past, but there's been something missing from those stories. That something is a tone-deaf "excuse" that excuses nothing except the common sense of the perpetrator. Well, wait no longer, because here is your latest idiot criminal, University of Florida professor Don Samuelson, who is accused of using a pen-camera to film his students' naughty bits.
According to the arrest report, the first two of four alleged incidents involve recording down a woman's v-neck shirt. On August 30, one woman became aware of what Samuelson was up to as he attempted filming both down her shirt and up her skirt, between her thighs. The camera pen was seized by police and the portable thumb drive containing the videos included videos of other women working in his lab and meeting in his office.So, they got him. Like, dead to rights got him. Got him so bad that you would imagine there's no weaseling out of this for Samuelson, right? He'd just have to admit what he did, slink away, and take his punishment like a man. Well, no, friends. Samuelson has an excuse for surrepticiously filming his female students' breasts and between their legs. And, boy, is it ever convincing.
Samuelson admitted the camera pen was his, but insisted he was using it to prove a woman wasn't wearing any undergarments.In other words: no, officer, I was not trying to get panty and bra shots, I was trying to get vagina and breast shots, duh! That's probably not the kind of thing you want to insist. I'm having trouble coming up with a worse excuse for being a college professor perv-dog than that, and I've been trying to come up with one for at least fifteen minutes. So way to go, Don Samuelson, surely former professor at the University of Florida and possible new admittee to a local correctional facility. You're not only a creepy pervert, you're a dumbass too!