UK Home Secretary: I Need People Who Understand The Necessary Hashtags To Censor Bad People Online

from the oh,-and-to-break-encryption-to dept

So, last week a clearly troubled individual by the name of Khalid Masood killed four people in Westminster and, as happens all too often after something bad happens, politicians went insane. But no one more so than UK Home Secretary Amber Rudd, who really maybe should have taken a moment or two to find out what the hell she was talking about before going on TV spouting off complete and utter nonsense about technology, social media and encryption. Instead, Rudd, who again, I remind you, is in a very powerful position within the British Cabinet (sort of loosely equivalent to the head of Homeland Security in the US) said this while talking about getting various social media companies to be more proactive in censoring content:

“What I’m saying is the best people who understand the technology, who understand the necessary hashtags to stop this stuff even being put up, not just taking it down, are going to be them. That’s why I would like to have an industry-wide board set up where they do it themselves.”

The best people... who understand the necessary hashtags. The. Necessary. Hashtags. Or should that be #NecessaryHashtags. I mean, that's so insane that it distracts from the fact that the UK Home Secretary is literally saying that she wants internet companies to come together in a mass collusion to censor content the UK Home Secretary doesn't like.

Believe it or not, that wasn't even the craziest thing that this person-in-power had to say. Prior to the #NecessaryHashtags, we were given a full throated UK-version of James Comey and his silly, debunked "going dark" nonsense, just with a British accent:

“It is completely unacceptable. There should be no place for terrorists to hide.

“We need to make sure that organisations like WhatsApp, and there are plenty of others like that, don’t provide a secret place for terrorists to communicate with each other.

“It used to be that people would steam open envelopes, or just listen in on phones, when they wanted to find out what people were doing, legally, through warrantry, but in this situation we need to make sure that our intelligences services have the ability to get into situations like encrypted WhatsApp.”

We don't necessarily (hashtag or not!) need to rehash just how wrong this is -- we've covered that plenty of times in the past. The fact is there are always going to be tons of places where "terrorists" can communicate with each other that no one can see. Sometimes it will be in person. Sometimes it will be in public, but using a pre-designated code. And, of course, even more importantly, this crazy decision to blame encrypted communications apps in a case where even Rudd admits the guy was a lone actor, completely ignores just how important encrypted, private communications are to the rest of us. It takes quite a misguided thought process to think "here we have a disturbed lone actor who did an attack, and therefore we need to make absolutely everyone else significantly less safe." It takes an even more misguided process to take that thought and go on TV and announce it as an official plan of the UK government.

Oh, and remember, this is the same UK government that just months ago got massive new powers to spy on the public.

If it's not yet obvious from what was said above that Rudd is just playing tech buzzword bingo and has simply no idea what she's talking about, she also said this:

“We’re not saying open up, we don’t want to go into the cloud, we don’t want to do all sorts of things like that, but we do want them to recognise they have a responsibility to engage with government, to engage with law enforcement agencies when there is a terrorist situation”.

You're not saying open up and you don't want to go into the cloud? But you are saying that encryption shouldn't be allowed to work? What is she even saying? This is all nonsense. The companies do engage with governments all the time. When given a valid and legal warrant, they do what they can. Sometimes that's nothing.

Of course, all of this is coming on the heels of another misguided outrage at other tech companies for sometimes allowing bad people to use their tools. Paul Bernal has an oasis of sanity responding to some of this cesspool of craziness.

Terrorists use the internet to communicate and to plan because we all use the internet to communicate and plan. Terrorists use the internet to access information because we all use the internet to access information. The internet is a communicative tool, so of course they’ll use it – and as it develops and becomes better at all these things, we’ll all be able to use it in this way. And this applies to all the tools on the net. Yes, terrorists will use Google. Yes, they’ll use Facebook too. And Twitter. And WhatsApp. Why? Because they’re useful tools, systems, platforms, whatever you want to call them – and because they’re what we all use. Just as we use hire cars and kitchen knives.

[....]

The same is true of privacy itself. We all need it. Undermining it – for example by building in backdoors to services like WhatsApp – undermines us all. Further, calls for mass surveillance damage us all – and attacks like that at Westminster absolutely do not help build the case for more of it. Precisely the opposite. To the surprise of no-one who works in privacy, it turns out that the attacker was already known to the authorities – so did not need to be found by mass surveillance. The same has been true of the perpetrators of all the major terrorist attacks in the West in recent years. The murderers of Lee Rigby. The Boston Bombers. The Charlie Hebdo shooters. The Sydney siege perpetrators. The Bataclan killers. None of these attacks needed identifying through mass surveillance. At a time when resources are short, to spend time, money, effort and expertise on mass surveillance rather than improving targeted intelligence, putting more human intelligence into place – more police, more investigators rather than more millions into the hands of IT contractors – is hard to defend.

Why is it that all the sane thoughts on this seem to be coming from outside the government, and the craziest ideas coming from those in the highest positions of power?


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  • icon
    Ninja (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 10:48am

    "Why is it that all the sane thoughts on this seem to be coming from outside the government, and the craziest ideas coming from those in the highest positions of power? "

    Because it's not about sanity, it's about control. They don't care about terrorists, they care about control.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Anonymous Anonymous Coward (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:23am

      Re:

      Being crazy does not mean your a power hungry xenophobe, but it sure helps.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      SpaceLifeForm, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:36am

      Sane people....

      will not work in government.
      If you are still sane when you
      start, after a few years, done.
      Group think, indoctrination.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Bruce C.i, 28 Mar 2017 @ 2:44am

      Re: Control

      ...and the biggest reason they want more control is so they can stay in power. Anytime there's a terrorist attack, there's always going to be a witch hunt to find someone to blame for "letting the attack happen". If you're in power, the blame is likely to fall on you (or a fellow minister from your party). If the blame is serious enough, you could lose the next election....unless you start the witch hunt first.

      This is a perennial distraction game that is basically the same thing Donald Trump does, but professional politicians are so much better at hiding it. When the first executive order for the muslim ban was issued, Trump was also making his most grandiose claims yet about voter fraud in the US election - saying that there were 3 to 4 million fraudulent votes that cost him the popular vote.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 10:52am

    The more you try to censor people, the more isolated those with more extreme views will feel, and the more likely that they will carry out lone wolf attacks. What is required is the much more difficult task of engaging with them, and the UK home secretary should know that, as that was how they eventually got the IRA to stand down.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Richard (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 10:59am

      Re:

      The more you try to censor people, the more isolated those with more extreme views will feel, and the more likely that they will carry out lone wolf attacks. What is required is the much more difficult task of engaging with them

      What - these people are nothing like IRA. If someone believes that killing p5 people in a suicide attack will cancel their sins and send them straight to heaven you can't "engage" with them - except to convince them that their beliefs are false. Unfortunately a concerted effort to make the argument that Islam is false is not on the agenda

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:16am

        Re: Re:

        Terrorist organizations are no different from governments, those with the power to make decisions send others out to fight and die. If they can see a safer way of gaining some of their objectives, then they will negotiate.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        • icon
          Richard (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 12:11pm

          Re: Re: Re:

          Terrorist organizations are no different from governments,

          I suggest you wath "Mars Attacks" and see how far that approach got the "President."

          There is no negotiating with these people, and even if you did it and it seemed to go well you might consider the plight of the tribes who thought that they had negotiated a deal with Mohammed. As soon as he felt strong anough he turned round and wiped most of them out.

          Thomas Jefferson's experience with the Barbary pirates are also salutary. When they made an agreement it was written in English and Arabic - unfortunately the two documents did not say the same thing.

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

          • identicon
            Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 2:09pm

            Re: Re: Re: Re:

            Ever thought that if you decide that there is no negotiation with them, then you are ensuring that no negotiations can take place.
            It only takes one side to start and continue a war, but two sides to talk if it is to be resolved by means other than genocide.

            reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:40pm

        Re: Re:

        Unfortunately a concerted effort to make the argument that Islam is false is not on the agenda.

        Maybe it should be. Actually, there's no "maybe" about it.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Richard (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 10:55am

    Oh Dear

    How to be wrong in every possible way!

    1) The Iranians, the Saudis and every other totalitarian Islamic government in the world (who by the way are the reall promoters of this kind of terrorism) will just love the fact that the Christians, the Bahais, the Apostates andthe atheist bloggers will have nowhere to hide if there is no secure encryption.

    2) As the article points out this kind of terrorist doesn't need a support network and secure communications - all he had was a driving licence and a kitchen knife.

    3)Stopping the terroists from public propaganda is a bad idea - their public propaganda has the effect of telling the truth about Islam - which the likes of Theresa May are trying to keep quiet about. Better out in the open where everyone can see it for what it is - and then there will be fewer people to provide cover. All Amber Rudd seems to want is a set of peril sensitive sunglasses.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      I.T. Guy, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:51am

      Re: Oh Dear

      4.) Stop calling every crazy with a knife and a car a terrorist.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • This comment has been flagged by the community. Click here to show it
        identicon
        Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 12:13pm

        Re: Re: Oh Dear

        5) Study the Koran, the Hadith and the Sira _yourself_ before you say anything about someone who claims to be acting on behalf of Islam.

        6) Stop listening to the platitudes of the "Islam is a religion of peace" brigade

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

        • identicon
          Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 1:18pm

          Re: Re: Re: Oh Dear

          7) Stop telling other people what to do.

          8) Stop telling other people what to think.

          9) Make me a sammich.

          reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Bergman (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 10:58am

    We all breathe air

    We all drink water. We all eat food. We all stand on the ground.

    So do terrorists. We need to ban air, water, food and dirt ASAP. Because otherwise the terrorists win. smh

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      Narcissus (profile), 28 Mar 2017 @ 4:41am

      Re: We all breathe air

      Me personally I'm very much against walls. Who knows what terrorists can hide behind walls.

      It's time all walls are made of glass. Next we'll outlaw drapes.

      Obviously Big Brick will be against us but think of the children!

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:12am

    Rudd and every other government official know already that being able to get into every single persons letters, phone calls, text messages, e-mails, messaging apps etc, etc wont do a damn thing to stop the terrorists from committing terrorist acts or 'to protect the children' from pornographic material or being groomed by perverts! what this is aimed at doing, just as it was here in the USA, is to be able to check up on what every ordinary person is reading, both on and off the Internet. what info is being passed on to who and where/when the next bit of personal information about the antics of which politician, government official, famous or wealthy person that has made a prat of themselves or been up to no good but caught out and what can be done to scare the shit out of whoever is going to blow the next whistle! if i remember correctly, i read something where politicians info is to be kept secret but everyone else is to be made available for all to see/read and act on. even if it was said that politicians info was also to be made available to all, there would be numerous 'private' ways of them keeping what they had been/were up to secret! no one is ever exposed like the ordinary citizen! the main reason being, they do nothing wrong and have nothing to hide! it doesn't mean they should have every bit of their privacy and freedom removed, under false pretenses, especially when the person calling for that to be done is as thick as fuck over the way the Internet actually works!!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    orbitalinsertion (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:16am

    All my encrypted tweets are #terroristthreat. Lol you think they would have fixed this by now.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    TechDescartes (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:19am

    iJabberwocky

    `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did post and upload in the cloud:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the meme raths download.

    "Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The files that hide, the clouds that catch!
    Beware the Twitter bird, and shun
    The frumious Instagram!"

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    ECA (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:25am

    Warnign speach..

    I hope the readers KNOW..that cellphones are not safe for talking on..The encryption ISNT used most times, and our Gov. has most of the codes anyway..
    Encryption is a pain, and it does not matter how safe it is, it TAKES TIME to encrypt and decrypt.. LAG, for all you Computer people..

    " ..recognise they have a responsibility to engage with government, to engage with law enforcement agencies when there is a terrorist situation”

    Love this IDEA...a Gov agency telling the PEOPLE that the internet and its service HAVE to be open enough to MONITOR what is happening in their services..
    The amounts of data to SORT and process...IS HUGE..private or Gov. processing is HUGE.. and it Cant be fully automated..

    There is something here that SOME may not notice. In developed nations we have TONS of Identification and Paper work on everyone. In other countries they barely KNOW who is WHO..
    Then we have Tons of people crossing borders and WE HAVE NO PAPER WORK ON THEM..And the countries they come from has very little..

    HOW open would the gov. Be, if they had to be MORE OPEN..that we could monitor EVERYTHING they do..

    How much of our gov. business is DONE OUTSIDE the office? Off the floor WHERE ITS SUPPOSED TO BE..

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Steve Carr, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:39am

    Privacy

    Privacy is our right, not for the Government to spy on us. The future is alternative search engines. We all need to us another search engine and than we take away the governments power, who have become to powerful, or we just go back to yelling loud try Lookseek com a no tracking search or one of the other alternative searches. Have a great day

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:44am

    #GoodLuckWithThat

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:45am

    Oh, censoring is bad, eh? Yet my prior browser session here was blocked after two comments! Masnick is somewhere below hypocrisy.

    I call screeching about "censorship" when doing it yourself out of sight masnocrisy.

    That's one reason you see so little opposition on the site. But even the fanboys are weary of trivia.

    Now, this comment whining about being censored out of sight has a shot at appearing so as to "prove" there's no censoring. But you simply don't see the censored comments, nor from the probably many blocked IPA, and there's the cheaty trick of only letting appear long late so don't affect discussion.

    I'd do more of the good honest criticism so sorely needed here if the "public" comment box wasn't so often "moderated" into the bit-bucket. But I win whether you allow criticism or are The Masnocrit.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Wendy Cockcroft, 29 Mar 2017 @ 6:08am

      Re: Oh, censoring is bad, eh? Yet my prior browser session here was blocked after two comments! Masnick is somewhere below hypocrisy.

      Censored via the Report button. Now sod off, you whining little git. If I want your opinion I'll stop hiding it so I don't have to wade through your mewling self-piteous narcissism to get to the intelligent comments.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Cowardly Lion, 30 Mar 2017 @ 5:17am

        Re: Re: Oh, censoring is bad, eh? Yet my prior browser session here was blocked after two comments! Masnick is somewhere below hypocrisy.

        Haha! +1 green LOL button (and a +1 Red button for the mewling git).

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:45am

    Oh, censoring is bad, eh? Yet my prior browser session here was blocked after two comments! Masnick is somewhere below hypocrisy.

    I call screeching about "censorship" when doing it yourself out of sight masnocrisy.

    That's one reason you see so little opposition on the site. But even the fanboys are weary of trivia.

    Now, this comment whining about being censored out of sight has a shot at appearing so as to "prove" there's no censoring. But you simply don't see the censored comments, nor from the probably many blocked IPA, and there's the cheaty trick of only letting appear long late so don't affect discussion.

    I'd do more of the good honest criticism so sorely needed here if the "public" comment box wasn't so often "moderated" into the bit-bucket. But I win whether you allow criticism or are The Masnocrit.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      PaulT (profile), 28 Mar 2017 @ 1:15am

      Re: Oh, censoring is bad, eh? Yet my prior browser session here was blocked after two comments! Masnick is somewhere below hypocrisy.

      "That's one reason you see so little opposition on the site."

      I see your opposition all the time. Are you really so dumb that you don't know that it's this community telling you to get the f*ck out, and it's Masnick who's allowing you to keep posting?

      "But you simply don't see the censored comments,"

      Again, I see your bullshit all the time. Stop it.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      PaulT (profile), 28 Mar 2017 @ 1:27am

      Re: Oh, censoring is bad, eh? Yet my prior browser session here was blocked after two comments! Masnick is somewhere below hypocrisy.

      Oh, and when this comes through, it's worth noting that my last response was held for moderation - probably because I have a few tabs open and have pasted a few comments in rapid succession on different articles.

      Yet, I don't feel censored or inconvenienced, I just understand how a spam filter works and know that it's nothing personal against me. So, I'll continue my day and not have a rant against an imagined conspiracy. Funny, that.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    OA (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 12:00pm

    Lots of people in power express a belief in censorship and control. Sounds like an ideology.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 12:12pm

    Burn All Bibles....

    Encryption has been around a lot longer than computers. One of the oldest forms of "encryption" (OK technically NOT encryption, but it achieves the same result) is a one time pad or a book cipher. With a book cipher. In this amazing method, the sender and the receiver both have the same edition of the same book and a series of numbers (usually page / word) make up the message. How this works is, the sender "encodes" a message using words from the shared book and sends combinations (see below). The recipient has to know in advance how to decode the message (ie what book to use) and he simply substitutes numbers for words.

    So, assuming you choose a book (let's say the bible) that someone might logically have on their shelf, your code is pretty near unbreakable and to thwart this dastardly plan, you would need to outlaw all Bibles .... Or maybe all books ... or maybe writing in general..

    Now if you knew what book I was using, you could decode the following message (or since I made it SUPER easy, you might be able to guess it)... :)

    23.19 74.100 43.88 80.12 109.85 42.37 73.89

    Just something to think about.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Tim R (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 12:25pm

    #NecessaryHashtags

    I hope this doesn't mean you have to forward Amber Rudd a royalty check every time you sell that on a shirt (which you sooooooooo know you're going to do).

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Mononymous Tim (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 12:54pm

    Simple fix

    Require all terrorists to use the hashtag #ImATerrorist. One and done!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • icon
      DannyB (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 1:31pm

      Re: Simple fix

      That only works where hashtags are allowed.

      A lower level and more general solution for all types of internet traffic is RFC 3514 otherwise known as the Evil Bit.

      You could keep your terrorist traffic safely encrypted. Since you would flag all of your packets by setting the evil bit, internet routers and other equipment would be aware of the malicious intent of your communication, without any need to decrypt it.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    That One Guy (profile), 27 Mar 2017 @ 1:15pm

    No need to give them ideas, they already thought of them

    “It is completely unacceptable. There should be no place for terrorists to hide.

    I'd go with the usual poe about how the government probably wants to outlaw private conversations because terrorists, but given the Snoopers Charter they recently passed I can't help but think that they actually would if they thought they could get away with it.

    The UK government's recent actions and statements certainly give the appearance of a government that believes in protecting privacy only for the rich and powerful, and no privacy whatsoever for the general public.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Unanimous Cow Herd, 27 Mar 2017 @ 1:49pm

    “It is completely unacceptable. There should be no place for terrorists to hide.

    What do you call Europe, then?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Thad, 27 Mar 2017 @ 3:13pm

      Re: “It is completely unacceptable. There should be no place for terrorists to hide.

      She's a Tory, so presumably whatever she calls Europe is something very rude.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

      • identicon
        Cowardly Lion, 30 Mar 2017 @ 6:58am

        Ted Heath...,

        ...the architect of Britain's entry into the European Community, would vehemently disagree with your view on Tories.

        reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Thad, 27 Mar 2017 @ 3:30pm

    "Understand the necessary hashtags" far surpasses "series of tubes" in terms of technical illiteracy by a member of a government. It sounds like something out of a TV cop show.

    Zoom in and enhance! Access granted!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Claire Rand, 27 Mar 2017 @ 4:21pm

    Appologies...

    I'd like to apologise for the halfwit Amber Ruddy Useless, the latest in a long line who have taken that post, had a chip stuck in the back of their stupid necks and all common sense removed.

    I know our education system has been dumbed down somewhat but even they don't normally pretend basic mathematics should be illegal, and most here realise that stuff like the Code Talkers of WW2 was actually both _useful_ and essentially impossible to stop.

    If someone really wants to pass a message where the meaning is incomprehensible to all, all they need to do is use 'govspeak' then no one will ever understand it.

    Sorry for the inconvenience, I thought the encryption wars occurred a long time ago and settled such rubbish, but it seems we have a government for whom the study of history should be illegal.

    Your 'Math is not a crime" T shirts may need a slight spelling adjustment but could soon do reasonably well over here

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 10:12pm

    because the whole aim is to know what everyone else, apart from the terrorists, the porn makers, the pedophiles and all others the government says it doesn't like/doesn't want, is doing, saying, writing, reading, looking at, going to visit, speaking to etc, etc!! us ordinary folks are the only ones the government is interested in, because we, through the internet, can tell EVERYONE just what the lying assholes are up to and stopping that is more important than any terrorist act! and regardless of how much information any government gets about anyone, it wont be enough. no one contemplating committing an 'anti-social act' is gonna broadcast it, are they? all the spies in the world never seem to learn anything until after the event and 99% of the so-called 'acts of terror' that have been stopped have probably been made up by the security services in the first place! que FBI and the non-existing plots they hatch!!

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Mark Wing, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:02pm

    Take it from a self-described "meme lord" with more fans than a B-list celebrity: if you're truly that clueless about social media, then it's time to go back to the drawing board and seriously fucking re-evaluate your entire strategy, and possibly your life choices. Because hashtags are the least of your concerns at this point. #ISISisFuckingLaughingAtYou

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 27 Mar 2017 @ 11:52pm

    Can't we censor people like Rudd?

    Seems like that might do more good.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Mar 2017 @ 12:29am

    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Lord Lidl of Cheem (profile), 28 Mar 2017 @ 2:28am

    Here's an idea....

    Just as the US recently experienced 'A day without women' I think it would only be right and appropriate for Rudd and all who agree with her to experience 'A day without encryption' - it's the only way they'll learn...

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Baxter DaFuscia, 28 Mar 2017 @ 5:21am

    Isn't their album out again on vinyl re-release?

    It might be the flu tablets I was on in the 80's playing tricks with me, but I'm sure The Necessary Hashtags used to play at the Hammersmith Odeon on Friday nights along with Galactic Regurgitation and Feted Pustules. These bands never go out of style and a scratched LP signed by lead singer Tim Kerrs-Cuss only gets better with each replaying. The sonic distention of drummer Walter Wall is like a carpet-bombing of rhythmic marathons. Each 5 minute wave of 42" crash cymbal solos, enhancing Tim's fluidic interpretation of the CLASSIC 1957 Women's Institute Best-of Almond Pudding recipes, is simply beyond comparisons, and certainly surpasses Beatrix Cotter. No words can express the sheer genius of sometimes guitarist Albert Phinnished, whose ability to play a sustained G on a copy of Hendrix's famous charred Strat is almost legendary. The band would still be making music today if it hadn't been for an unfortunate typo in their contract, which saw them promoted as The Ninderry Washbags appearing at the Humberside Odious. At least somebody understands them.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 28 Mar 2017 @ 5:37am

    #Necessary#s
    Yo dawg! I saw you like # so I put a # in your #

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 4 Apr 2017 @ 10:40pm

    We need a new internet: encrypted by default, uncensorable, descentralized.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


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