Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the broadband-in-broad-strokes dept

This week, we've got another first place winner for insightful from That One Guy, who also notably took seven out of the top ten insightful spots overall. The top comment was an excellent response to the many ludicrous claims about the public's broadband needs:

Saying that no one needs a 25 Mbps connection because a single user/service won't use it completely is rather like saying that there's no point in building multi-lane roads or highways because a single car will never be able to take up more than one lane.

In second place, we've got an anonymous comment on a related topic: the States that are beginning to realize how self-serving AT&T's protectionist broadband legislation has been. As this commenter noted, that really should tell you something:

Government, local or otherwise, isn't exactly noted for efficiency or economy, so if they can provide broadband cheaper and more efficiently than a huge ISP with all the economies of scale... Well, you've got to wonder just how many hundreds of percent profit AT&T is making on their crap, don't you?

For editor's choice on the insightful side, since That One Guy dominated the leaderboard, it seems only fair to include one more of his comments. This time, it's an attempt to cut through the crap of the repair monopoly created by anti-circumvention provisions:

Pick One

Companies should be limited to two options:

1) License

They aren't selling their product, they are only licensing it's use, in which case they are legally barred from referring to the transaction as a sale, maintain limited rights over the product such that they can prohibit people from fixing or modifying it themselves, but are also required to do so themselves within the scope of the license(product breaks, they have to fix it, customer loses their copy they have to replace it).

2) Sale

Product has been sold, and the company no longer has any rights or control over it, other than limited rights with regards to things like prohibiting reproductions and sales(not to be confused with re-selling the product, which is allowed). Customer is allowed to modify, change, give away or sell the product as desired, and the company has no ability to stop them. At the same time, the company has no obligations beyond the point of sale, such that if the product breaks unless it's under warranty they don't need to fix it, if the customer loses it they have no obligation to replace it.

Next, we head all the way back to last week's comments post, where David had an observation about the sorry state of copyright:

Isn't it fun that Hitler's "Mein Kampf" is now in the Public Domain and everybody can send around copies while Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech will likely never be legally copyable?

That's the way we build our future.

Over on the funny side, first place goes to an anonymous commenter on our post about the latest wacky legal threat to hit Techdirt, and our response to it. One commenter had an excellent suggestion:

You guys should sell popcorn in the Techdirt store.

In second place, we've got rw with a response to our call for ideas about the TSA's potential response to the laptop bomb in Somalia:

All laptops must have their batteries removed and shipped separately to the destination ... or wherever the airline decides to send it.

And in the spirit of crowdsourcing, this week's editor's choice for funny features two more predictions. First, it's Mark Harrill with a terribly plausible vision of wild overreach:

TSA will check your laptop for downloaded music and send a compiled list to the RIAA for billing.

TSA will check your laptop for downloaded TV shows and movies and send a compiled list to the MPAA for billing.

TSA will check your laptop for downloaded books and send a compiled list to the Big 5 publishers for billing.

TSA will check your laptop for TOR and will send your information to the DEA for inspection. Also, your laptop will be confiscated and sold on Ebay as seized property.

TSA will check your laptop for VPN and encryption software and will send your information to NSA, FBI and CIA. If you are using full disk encryption, you will be detained until you decrypt the drive and they can copy the contents.

TSA will ban taking all electronic devices bigger than their hand onto the airplane. Such items must be checked, for which the airlines will charge a fee to ensure their safe return. Use of the electronics on the airplane at any time will make you subject to arrest, fine and general ridicule.

And finally, it's Anonymous Anonymous Coward with a "multivariate solution":

I predict that the TSA will enhance efforts to cross breed octopuses with emus and bloodhounds. The resultant being will be an eight armed search engine that can sniff out whatever the handlers desire to take home while keeping its head buried in the sand.

That's all for this week, folks! Techdirt is off tomorrow for President's Day, and back to our regular posts on Tuesday.


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  1. identicon
    Personanongrata, 16 Feb 2016 @ 3:13pm

    Lies, Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

    But he was also one of the first to use the Paris attacks as an opportunity to attack actions taken by tech companies to "undercut" intelligence capabilities, as well as claim Snowden's leaks were resulting in terrorists routing around surveillance efforts.

    The bogus terrorists now use "encryption" and it is all Edward Snowden's fault meme that is being propagated by various US intelligence organ directors (eg Comey, Alexander) and their political surveillance state doppelgangers (eg Clinton, Feinstein) has been completely debunked countless times.

    The sentence below was excerpted from The Intercept:

    U.S. Mass Surveillance Has No Record of Thwarting Large Terror Attacks, Regardless of Snowden Leaks

    Jenna McLaughlin

    Nov. 17 2015, 2:19 p.m.

    In fact, there’s no evidence that the NSA’s extraordinary surveillance dragnet, as revealed by Snowden, has disrupted any major attack within the U.S. ever.

    https://theintercept.com/2015/11/17/u-s-mass-surveillance-has-no-record-of-thwarting-large-terr or-attacks-regardless-of-snowden-leaks/

    It really is such a shame to interrupt the mass psychosis clearly afflicting those ensconced within the US government and it's security apparatus as listening to various US officials and authorities while they continuously make pronouncements that are in direct contravention of reality serves to expose them as the know-nothings (or criminal) they truly are and helps to destroy whatever credibility they may have remaining with the general public.

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