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Pro Tip: If You're Going To Break And Enter Someone's Home, Don't Log Into Your Facebook

from the feeling-stupid dept

In the history of the dumb criminals we've written about, it's been quite difficult to stave off the temptation to label each and every one of them "the dumbest criminal." This should be understandable to anyone who has read these stories, what with all the self-incrimination, Google-searching for tips on how to commit their crimes, and the taunting of LEOs. That said, I don't know that I've ever experienced the temptation quite so strongly as I am with this knucklehead breaking into someone's home, logging into his facebook account on the victim's computer, and failing to log back out.

See, when James Wood returned to his Minnesota home one day, he found the house ransacked with tons of his stuff missing. In their place appeared to be only some wet clothes and shoes.

"I started to panic," he said. "But then I noticed he had pulled up his Facebook profile."

Wood posted to Facebook using Wig's profile, saying Wig had burglarized his home. He even shared his phone number to see if someone would call with information. Wig texted him later that day.
Yeah, that seriously happened. Not only did Nicholas Wig, a 26 year old man with ostensibly enough brain-power to lift himself out of bed in the morning, leave his Facebook account logged into his victim's computer, he actually responded to the messages Wood was inputting into his profile and contacted the phone number Wood left in hopes of catching the guy. Wood informed Wig that he'd left his clothes and shoes at his house when he was doing the world's dumbest Ocean's Eleven impression and offered to return them in exchange for some of the stolen items. But, I mean, come on. Nobody's that stupid, right?
Wig agreed to meet with Wood later that night. Wood believes Wig was under the impression he would give him back some of his clothes he had left at his home in exchange for a recycled cell phone Wig had stolen. Wood, at his friend's house, left for home. On his way back to his house he saw and recognized Wig, from his Facebook profile, walking on the street. He immediately called police.

"I've never seen this before," Dakota County Attorney James Backstrom said. "It's a pretty unusual case, might even make the late night television shows in terms of not being too bright."
Oh. I, uh, appear to have been mistaken. Someone is that dumb and that someone's name is Nicholas Wig. But, hey, you know, maybe this is all some kind of misunderstanding. I mean, it's not like someone who actually stole stuff from a person would then return to the freaking scene of the crime to meet that same person, right?
Wig was wearing Wood's watch when he found him. Police arrested him at the scene.
And just like that, a criminal defense attorney somewhere in Minnesota was handed a not-of-sound-mind defense.


Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 24th, 2014 @ 8:46pm

    Moral of the story

    Don't use Facebook, it will get you in trouble.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2.  
    icon
    Roger Strong (profile), Jun 24th, 2014 @ 9:07pm

    "When asked, he indicated that he sees nothing wrong with Comcast's merger with Time Warner Cable."

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3.  
    icon
    martyburns (profile), Jun 24th, 2014 @ 9:12pm

    Re: Moral of the story

    I agree. Facebook did not go far enough in protecting Wigs privacy.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  4.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 24th, 2014 @ 9:23pm

    Foolbook.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  5.  
    icon
    Roger Strong (profile), Jun 24th, 2014 @ 9:34pm

    Escape From Langley/Fort Meade

    You know those movies where a criminal is sprung from death row or a life sentence by a shadowy government agency because they have some critical task they need him to do?

    This guy is about to start a new career in Intelligence Oversight.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6.  
    icon
    That Anonymous Coward (profile), Jun 25th, 2014 @ 12:06am

    derp derp derp derp derp derp derp...
    but but but the homeowner said online it was okay, so it had to be true.

    derp derp derp derp derp...

    No thanks, don't want fries with that.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  7.  
    identicon
    zip, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 12:16am

    dumb criminal

    Stories are all too common these days involving cops mistakenly pointing their guns at drivers (sometimes even shooting them) because their car might have distantly resembled the car reportedly driven by some bad guy.

    So as far as public safety goes, here's the ideal car thief -- stealing something highly unlikely to get misidentified by even the most unobservant cop.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667023/Thief-steals-Model-A-churchgoer-crashes-it.html
    (pres umably this was a 'modern' version that did not require hand cranking)

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  8.  
    icon
    Coyne Tibbets (profile), Jun 25th, 2014 @ 12:42am

    Re: Re: Moral of the story

    Privacy starts at your home, not your victim's home.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  9.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 2:41am

    Re: Re: Re: Moral of the story

    So he should have stolen the whole house. Simple as that.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  10.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 3:32am

    Re: Re: Moral of the story

    Facebook didn't do anything. Should they have somehow detected that Wood was logged into Wig's account and logged him out??!! Wood posted as Wig, and Wig being the genius he is... he responded to the post and called Wood.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  11.  
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    TheResidentSkeptic (profile), Jun 25th, 2014 @ 3:38am

    Place your bets boys and girls..

    *if* the defense attorney is at all aware of current interpretation of the law in various crazy courts - he will counter-sue Wood for CFAA, Impersonation, Slander (he WROTE that Wig stole his stuff)... and Wig will go free, while Wood goes to prison..

    So... wanna bet on who wins/loses in this one?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  12.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 3:56am

    I'm curious that he didn't take the computer itself. You'd think it'd be the kind of thing a burglar would grab.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  13.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 5:09am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Moral of the story

    He must not be a bankster

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  14.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 5:11am

    Re: Place your bets boys and girls..

    Only works for rich people

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  15.  
    identicon
    Sherlock Holmes, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 5:57am

    Alas...

    He's the Santa Anna of crime.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  16.  
    identicon
    Michael, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 7:07am

    You have to feel a little bad for Wig. He was only stealing because he needed some money to help his Nigerian prince friend scratch together enough cash to get himself to the US where he could pay back Wig and he would then pay back the people he had stolen from.

    Completely altruistic.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  17.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 7:32am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Moral of the story

    "I'm bringing the whole thing to Mexico."

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  18.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 8:08am

    Re: curious that he didn't take the computer

    "I'm curious that he didn't take the computer itself."

    I'm curious whether he left in his underwear and wearing only a shirt. The original story doesn't mention stolen clothes......

    "His credit cards, cash and watch were all gone.

    In their place, the thief had left a pair of Nike tennis shoes, jeans and a belt, that were all wet. Wood said it had been raining outside."

    WHY did he take off his clothes? To ransack the place but not wet the carpet ?!?? Were there any new funny marks on the carpet? I'm not sure I really want to know.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  19.  
    identicon
    AnonyBabs, Jun 25th, 2014 @ 11:04am

    Re: Re: Re: Moral of the story

    Humor fail.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  20.  
    identicon
    bali wood house, Nov 7th, 2014 @ 1:06am

    good artikel

    i think
    You have to feel a little bad for Wig. He was only stealing because he needed some money to help his Nigerian prince friend scratch together enough cash to get himself to the US where he could pay back Wig and he would then pay back the people he had stolen from.

    Completely altruistic.

    bali wood house

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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