Applicant For UND Head Football Coach Cites Video Game Experience As His Qualifications

from the dive-dive-bomb dept

Many of my fellow Americans enjoy the sport of football and their professional and collegiate leagues, the NFL and the NCAA. If you're like me, you often opine that you could run the team, the program, or the franchise in immeasurably greater fashion than the millionaire chowderheads currently employed to do so. If you're also like me, you play football video games and, oddly, learn quite a bit about the game from them. That, however, is usually as far as this type of thing goes.

Unlike me, however, Christopher McComas decided that all of these things have somehow merged together to make him the perfect fit for the University of North Dakota's vacant head football coach position. Having noticed on Twitter that UND was looking for a new head coach, he submitted his resume. His plan, such as it is, is undeniably interesting:

My football philosophy is basically an attacking one. We're going to give AIR RAID a whole new definition. Theoretically how many times do you think a team can pass in a game? Challenge accepted. We're going 5 wide, chucking the pigskin all over the place. Never punt. Onside every time. Chip Kelly will be calling me to learn my offense. We will put on an exciting brand of football, we will pack them into the Alerus Center night in and night out, go ahead and blow the roof off the place and add about 35,000 seats to that place.
To many of us, this philosophy is quite familiar. We often see it employed by every ten-year-old we play in an online version of Madden or NCAA Football. This, as McComas 9 page PowerPoint he sent to UND Athletic Director Brian Faison to justify his hiring, is so recognizable for a reason.

Now, I can't say for sure that Mr. Faison will find these video game credentials as underwhelming as I (Thurman Thomas a God? Even God couldn't do that!), but it seems quite unlikely that they'll get McComas hired. Also, his plan to be good by "winning a lot of games" seems more like a goal than a plan, but what do I know?

Either way, it's useful to remember as we head into the holiday season and the TV glow is full of sports (for some of us, at least), there's always someone better out there, even if that means being better at foolishly stating how great we'd be if we were in charge of our favorite teams.

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  1. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 6:04pm

    If you can't blind them with brilliance baffle them with BS.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2. icon
    lucidrenegade (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 6:30pm


    Sounds like OOTB

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 31 Dec 2013 @ 6:35pm


    Applying global statistics to an individual instance is a mistake most people make. The law of large number says that if you do it often enough, your average will be what you expect. However, on any individual play, one would expect the head coach to know how his team will perform on any given play and have a better idea of the odds than statistics about teams in general.

    For example, if you are the 2012 Redskins, you might as well punt. You are not going to get a score anyway. On the other hand, if you are the 1985 Bears, you should go for it no matter where on the field you are. Your defense will get you the ball back in better field position anyway.

    The high school football coach that doesn't return punts would be a fool if he had a player on his team that simply never fumbled. On the other hand, if everyone on his team drops the ball all the time, then he would be a fool to attempt to return a punt.

    The New Yorker article is right though. NFL coaches are more concerned with keeping their jobs than with winning games.

    The dude applying for the job should be laughed at. Calling plays is the least important part of a coaches job. The real part is teaching the team to work together and taking advantage of the strengths of all the players while minimizing the weaknesses. Play calling almost anyone could do.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  4. icon
    RadialSkid (profile), 31 Dec 2013 @ 8:35pm

    I'm guessing this was sent in as a joke.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  5. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 1 Jan 2014 @ 4:06am

    Re: Re:


    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6. icon
    silverscarcat (profile), 1 Jan 2014 @ 5:31am

    Let him try...

    After all, if he bombs out at least it'll be concrete proof that video game skills don't translate to real life so we can FINALLY put that damn scare tactic to rest.

    On the OTHER hand, if he succeeds, that'll be interesting as well, even if not likely.

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  7. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 1 Jan 2014 @ 7:19am

    I encourage UND to hold back on a decision until they can verify his Tecmo Bowl stats. And not for the Raiders, the Bo Jackson player was cheap.

    Also, go Bison!

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

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