That Anonymous Coward's Second Techdirt Favorites Post Of The Week

Techdirt

from the back-again-for-more... dept

OHAI Tourists!
pulls on orange vest

For those of you not shaking your heads in disbelief that I’m here again, I’m That Anonymous Coward.
People mostly just call me TAC, my current claim to fame is appearing in 4 sets of exhibits submitted to Federal Courts by Pretenda and its agents, as well as suing to unmask me for intentional infliction of butthurt… or something. 
I coined the term Pretenda. 
I am harsh, snarky, and pretty entertaining.
I am a legend in my own mind, and the stuff of nightmares for copyright trolls.

Now if you’ll all take your seats here on the short bus, the tour can begin, as soon as I get past this pesky club Mike put on the wheel. 
Hand me that canister… a little liquid nitrogen works wonders on stuck locks.
Multitool please….
Now we connect wire 1 to wire 3 and… we’re off.

Palantir (named for that creepy orb from Lord of the Rings that lets you spy on hobbit beauty queens changing), got $196 Million in funding.  Let’s ignore the absolute failure of the people behind it, and how they planned to use the tech to undermine Wikileaks for private customers.  And they would have gotten away with it, if not for those pesky kids in trendy masks.  So a company, who has no problem creating fake information, is being funded to gather more ‘real’ information for the government or anyone else with a briefcase full of cash. 

Oh everyone smile at the traffic camera, it’s gathering our images to update your status on NSABook.
Given the errors most data aggregators have… you are probably all George Takei.
Everyone smile and say Oh My!

Everyone wave at that nice policeman hiding in that alley… being anonymous online is okay for him, but everyone else should register themselves.
I wonder if he works for this guy.  I guess its open minded thinking like that, that leads to stuff like this.

Ok everyone roll up the windows, this is a bad neighborhood.  Those dark forbidding towers, the fire, the brimstone… Nope its not Mordor, one does not just tour Mordor… this is the Surveillance Suburb. DUMDUMDUMMMMM

I’d bother to narrate but this neighborhood is like the most insane HOA ever.
Pouring money into companies, making us all less safe, with nothing to show for it.
If you question them, you’re a freaking terrorist.
They scare everyone with ZOMG the terrorists will win, even as they do way more harm.
Protecting the cash cow is more important than people knowing the truth.

Ok this place depresses me… here let’s just do a doughnut in Rep. Rogers lawn…

BaBang
Whoops sorry that was a pretty big speed bump, oh wait no it’s just EA’s latest fail.

Let’s pay a visit to my favorite place, the Copyright Troll Cul-de-sac. 
We should be safe, with the Government shutdown those nice men from ICE are cooling their heels at home.
Just up here on the left, and this clicker I “found” opens the gates….

Given the amazing lengths some countries are going to appease the IP cartels, well this is confusing.
And well this just seems to fly in the face of the horrible times they claim…
They have given up buying the laws they want, they just think they can say it and make it law.

Yes it’s time to hit the wayback machine Peabody for background, as you should have learned last time I had the wheel… I go where I want, last tour I went offsite to Ars.  

I was talking about this lawfirm, Steele Hansmeier LLC and their boy wonder lawyer Brett Gibbs. 
They stood before a Judge and admitted they mislead the court in the original complaint, that the discovery wasn’t enough to identify the infringer and wanted the court to allow them access to pretty much anything with a computer in it in the target’s house.
My crystal ball is that good, I saw what was happening and well popcorn futures are way up as the comedy keeps coming.
It would be funny haha but the wheels of justice are slow, so its more funny utoh.
See that battered McMansion? The one that looks like its been hit by the wrecking ball a bunch of times, and somehow is still standing?  Prenda Prime, it’s pretty much Steele Hansmeier with new siding.
HA.  I think the upcoming holidays might be a little chilly.
HA. They ‘represent’ him, and their best answer is we think he’ll have a good answer?
HA! And the cash they owe, piles up higher.  

I guess gaming the justice system will finally catch up with you.  
The irony, it burns.  How big does the lie have to be when even a staunch copyright advocate calls you out?

What is this little dark alley… oh this is where the patent trolls are breeding.
Much like the copyright trolls they are filling peoples heads with dreams of imaginary dollars… that never seem to make it to their greedy hands.
It is almost like some people want these trolls to succeed and keep the world from moving forward.
They extract money from people who innovate so they can spend more money to keep themselves alive.
Heh, lemme flick on the high beams…. look at them run!
Ok it’s gross back here, let’s get out on the road…

FSCK someone got funding restored for ICE, everyone duck down while I get us out of here.  
STAY DOWN!
Well Mike can have those bullet holes filled with bondo…again…

I would be depressed about all of the NSA coverage, except my paranoia apparently was well founded.
Looking at the few revelations so far, can people understand why Occupy, LulzSec, & Anonymous scare the crap out of the powers that be?  
We had paramilitary action against citizens exercising their right to protest.  
Fun fact pepper spray is banned for use on soldiers in war because it is chemical warfare, but hosing down citizens seems to be perfectly ok.
‘Merika – home of the meek and surveilled.
Maybe those they demonize most are the ones who are done being meek.  
Maybe we should stop accepting what they tell us, as it’s clear they have no problem lying to us, and educate ourselves about them.
Not everything they do is well received, but when people fight back it gets messy.
I guess CFAA is the digital firehose being turned on protestors.

And back to the parking lot…
Ohhh look!  Everyone wave at the drones we aren’t supposed to know about.

So we’ve watched our rights get stripped away.
We’ve all paid the tax on innovation, and gotten nothing but more bad laws.
If you question those rights we all think we still have, they call you names and start digging for dirt (or farm that job out).
Is anyone scared that the guy in the Guy Fawkes mask is making sense?

Republicans are red, Democrats are blue, the really sad thing is, neither side gives a fsck about you.

Oh hey, Mike did my $25,000 ever show up?

You can use part of it to have the tour bus fixed up.

And that was part of the week that was.
I remain,
TAC