Lobbyists Looking To Call Themselves Something Else: Here Are A Few Suggestions

from the suggest-your-own dept

Like many people, I have a somewhat negative visceral reaction to the concept of lobbyists and lobbying. However, my thinking has been shifting, in large part due to last year's This American Life episode all about lobbying, where you begin to realize that lobbying is a symptom of a messed up campaign finance system, rather than "legalized bribery" as some believe. All too often, it appears, politicians are chasing down lobbyists, trying to get donations, rather than lobbyists "offering up" something. Besides, in theory, having people who can help educate clueless politicians about important issues could be a good thing -- if those politicians are actually hearing from all sides on an issue and then making a decision based on the facts (I know, I know, stop laughing...). Of course, that's not the system we have. At all.

And, because of that, many people blame the lobbyists, and, indeed, under today's system, many lobbyists engage in highly questionable practices, because the potential returns are so high.

Given all of this, it appears that lobbyists are trying to "rebrand" themselves. Apparently the preferred name is "Government Relations." Yes, it's the perfect kind of whitewash of "lobbyist." However, the NY Times has suggested "Congress Plus" as a more appropriate name:
We suggest “Congress Plus” as a more truthful name for an industry that employs more than 400 former members of the Senate and House, plus former Congressional staff members estimated in one study to total 5,400 people over a recent 10-year period. Not to mention untold dozens of lobbyists who smartly shift back and forth to Congressional committee posts as the electoral pendulum makes partisan swings that prove increasingly lucrative for experienced insiders.
So, what are some other suggestions for how lobbyists should rebrand? Here are a few suggestions, and we welcome more in the comments:
  • "Corporate Congress"
  • "Corporate Congressional Liaison"
  • "Special Interest Wrangler"
  • "Government Guide"
  • "Legislative Influencer"
  • "Regulatory Realignment Specialist"
  • "Senate Sherpa"
  • "Government Guru"
  • "Congressional Connector"
  • "Lawfluencers"
We await much better ideas in the comments.

Filed Under: lobbyists, rebranding

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  1. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 19 Oct 2013 @ 6:08pm

    - Exotic dancer, after all they all grab the pole and do the dance already.
    - Law surveyors
    - Law salesman
    - Facelaw adimin.
    - Law handyman.
    - GoG - Government over growth.
    - Boom, boom lawmaking, We all like parties right?
    - Strange public agency growth. SPAG's
    - D&D G-Player. The G is not for gay/gal/girl/groupie is for government dude.
    - Stripclub negotiator.
    - Bench lawmaking, how do you call the people who get benched and still keep screaming what others need to do?
    - Wamlaw.
    - Law making clerks?
    - Up & Down people.
    - NIC - Non Interactive Character
    - NPC - Non Playing Character.
    - FAAP - Future A.A. Participant
    - Marvin Gaye Lawmaking, There is no "donation" low enough.
    - SAS - Shark Attack Session.
    - Law raider
    - Law rider
    - Carousel operator.
    - Merry Go Round VIP.
    - Government Resources Analyst Personnel.
    - Congress barnacle.
    - Parasitic law making.
    - BDSM - Bureaucratic Deep System Manager
    - COG - Children of G.
    - Law Dealer.
    - Law Pimp.
    - Law Pumper.

    OMG I could spend the whole day doing this.

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