HideTechdirt is off for Presidents Day! We'll be back with our regular posts tomorrow. In the meantime, please consider supporting us via the Techdirt Survival Fund.
HideTechdirt is off for Presidents Day! We'll be back with our regular posts tomorrow. In the meantime, please consider supporting us via the Techdirt Survival Fund.

Techdirt

by Leigh Beadon




Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the doom-and-gloom dept

This week's most insightful comments could just as easily be called its most cynical — and that's fair enough. If there's anything that should make you cynical about the US government, it's the still ongoing revelations about the NSA. Thus, we've got our most insightful comment of the week from silverscarcat, responding to torture-defender John Yoo's defence of the NSA:

There's one thing John Yoo missed

the terrorists have already won.

After all, Bin Laden said that he didn't have to do anything anymore after 9/11, since America would destroy itself.

He was so right.

And then we've got second place, with Headbhang reacting to a conversation about the shuttering of Groklaw:

The ruling elite is not afraid of the terrorists, it's actually secretly grateful to them for providing the excuse for their whole surveillance programme.

On the other hand, they are clearly terrified of Snowden, Greenwald, et al.

There's plenty of room for gloomy insight across the pond, too. Our first editor's choice on the insightful side goes to an anonymous commenter, responding to the UK Home Office's comment that those who oppose the detention of David Miranda must "think about what they are condoning":

Those who oppose [Snowden and the NSA leaks] need to think about what they are condoning.

And, finally, we've got a great comment from BentFranklin that racked up lots of insightful and funny votes, but not quite enough to crack either leaderboard. When the NSA insisted that the idea of it sifting through as much as 75% of US online communications was "simply not true", he saw the real meaning of the words:

If they say it is simply not true, it must be true complexly.

On the funny side, for first place we head back over to the UK. As details emerged on the government's threats against The Guardian newspaper in forcing it to destroy hard drives, Ruby turned a classic Big Brother argument back on them:

Someone needs to tell the government that if they've nothing to hide, they've nothing to fear.

And in second place, we've got That Anonymous Coward providing some narration for the Time journalist who announced his eagerness to defend a hypothetical future drone strike that kills Julian Assange:

*Marlin Perkins Voice*
And if you watch closely you can see the wild reporter in heat. Here he is presenting, showing the dominate ones he is receptive to receiving what they are willing to give him. See how he as assumed the submissive position, showing he is no threat.

(UK residents: substitute David Attenborough for Marlin Perkins in the above joke. [US Residents: substitute Sigourney Weaver for David Attenborough in the adjacent joke.])

For editor's choice on the funny side, we'll start by slipping in one more comment about the NSA. When the agency revealed that it conducts 20-million database queries per month, Zakida Paul suggested that isn't so bad when you put it in perspective:

Well, to be honest that's not a lot considering the US has over 300 million terrorists inside it's borders.

And, finally, we'll break away from all this high-stakes international insanity and stupidity to focus on the garden-variety kind. When an incredibly painful-to-watch CNBC news panel argued that Call of Duty and other video games have killed chivalry and kept guys from dating, an anonymous commenter suggested they were looking in the wrong place [link added, to clarify for non-gamers]:

Chivalry isn't dead! It just sold 1.2 million copies and it's really fun!

I'm certain that answer would both confound and infuriate the CNBC panelists, so I support it wholeheartedly.

That's all for now!


Reader Comments

Subscribe: RSS

View by: Time | Thread


  • icon
    That Anonymous Coward (profile), 25 Aug 2013 @ 12:03pm

    Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom, still haunting after all this time.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    apauld (profile), 25 Aug 2013 @ 3:13pm

    The only reason Iíve never had any of my comments rate on the funny or insightful lists is the special filter that Mike has that makes my comments seem less funny and less insightful to others.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Paul, 25 Aug 2013 @ 3:21pm

    Like all NSA supporters, John Yoo is an "Opta-Rectum-Ologist.
    He has a glass tube connecting his eyeball to his ass-hole.
    This condition causes a shitty outlook on life....

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    Dark Helmet (profile), 25 Aug 2013 @ 5:05pm

    Yup....

    "I'm certain that answer would both confound and infuriate the CNBC panelists, so I support it wholeheartedly."

    Only because CNBC panelists are so easily confused, hence panelists....

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Loki, 25 Aug 2013 @ 5:07pm

    The ruling elite is not afraid of the terrorists, it's actually secretly grateful to them for providing the excuse for their whole surveillance programme.

    On the other hand, they are clearly terrified of Snowden, Greenwald, et al.


    George Carlin pretty much summed it up years ago. Of course he told us the truth about a lot of things of things like Airport Security (back in 2000 before 9/11 even happened) that few people really listen to.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Beech, 26 Aug 2013 @ 2:13am

      Re:

      Great. Now that you've posted that they are going to need to dig up Carlin's body to ask it some questions about whether or not it's a terrorist. They're probably going to use a SWAT team too.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anon-Y-Mouse, 25 Aug 2013 @ 10:23pm

    A search of all OSB statements is needed

    There's one thing John Yoo missed
    the terrorists have already won.
    After all, Bin Laden said that he didn't have to do anything anymore after 9/11, since America would destroy itself.
    He was so right.

    Years ago I remember a broadcast after the first WTC bombing where they mentioned that OSB wanted to turn the Western nations into the police states that were so prevalent in the Middle East. It needs to be found.
    The computer is your friend. To not trust in the computer is treason.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

    • identicon
      Anonymous Coward, 26 Aug 2013 @ 3:12am

      Re: A search of all OSB statements is needed

      Sorry, Citizen. Old news audio recordings are Green level access. Your current access: Orange.

      reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 26 Aug 2013 @ 6:02am

    Finally! I comment I made makes it to the top posts! But I'll let all the other ACs bask in this moment since I'm cool like that.

    I did ride on the coatails of the Torn Banner studios for this afterall.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • icon
    That Anonymous Coward (profile), 26 Aug 2013 @ 4:34pm

    @Leigh - you also could have subbed in Morgan Freeman into the joke.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]


Add Your Comment

Have a Techdirt Account? Sign in now. Want one? Register here
Get Techdirt’s Daily Email
Use markdown for basic formatting. HTML is no longer supported.
  Save me a cookie
Follow Techdirt
New And For A Limited Time
New Gear By Techdirt: I Invented Email
Advertisement
Report this ad  |  Hide Techdirt ads
Essential Reading
Techdirt Deals
Report this ad  |  Hide Techdirt ads
Techdirt Insider Chat
Advertisement
Report this ad  |  Hide Techdirt ads
Recent Stories
Advertisement
Report this ad  |  Hide Techdirt ads

Close

Email This

This feature is only available to registered users. Register or sign in to use it.