Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the doom-and-gloom dept

This week's most insightful comments could just as easily be called its most cynical — and that's fair enough. If there's anything that should make you cynical about the US government, it's the still ongoing revelations about the NSA. Thus, we've got our most insightful comment of the week from silverscarcat, responding to torture-defender John Yoo's defence of the NSA:

There's one thing John Yoo missed

the terrorists have already won.

After all, Bin Laden said that he didn't have to do anything anymore after 9/11, since America would destroy itself.

He was so right.

And then we've got second place, with Headbhang reacting to a conversation about the shuttering of Groklaw:

The ruling elite is not afraid of the terrorists, it's actually secretly grateful to them for providing the excuse for their whole surveillance programme.

On the other hand, they are clearly terrified of Snowden, Greenwald, et al.

There's plenty of room for gloomy insight across the pond, too. Our first editor's choice on the insightful side goes to an anonymous commenter, responding to the UK Home Office's comment that those who oppose the detention of David Miranda must "think about what they are condoning":

Those who oppose [Snowden and the NSA leaks] need to think about what they are condoning.

And, finally, we've got a great comment from BentFranklin that racked up lots of insightful and funny votes, but not quite enough to crack either leaderboard. When the NSA insisted that the idea of it sifting through as much as 75% of US online communications was "simply not true", he saw the real meaning of the words:

If they say it is simply not true, it must be true complexly.

On the funny side, for first place we head back over to the UK. As details emerged on the government's threats against The Guardian newspaper in forcing it to destroy hard drives, Ruby turned a classic Big Brother argument back on them:

Someone needs to tell the government that if they've nothing to hide, they've nothing to fear.

And in second place, we've got That Anonymous Coward providing some narration for the Time journalist who announced his eagerness to defend a hypothetical future drone strike that kills Julian Assange:

*Marlin Perkins Voice*
And if you watch closely you can see the wild reporter in heat. Here he is presenting, showing the dominate ones he is receptive to receiving what they are willing to give him. See how he as assumed the submissive position, showing he is no threat.

(UK residents: substitute David Attenborough for Marlin Perkins in the above joke. [US Residents: substitute Sigourney Weaver for David Attenborough in the adjacent joke.])

For editor's choice on the funny side, we'll start by slipping in one more comment about the NSA. When the agency revealed that it conducts 20-million database queries per month, Zakida Paul suggested that isn't so bad when you put it in perspective:

Well, to be honest that's not a lot considering the US has over 300 million terrorists inside it's borders.

And, finally, we'll break away from all this high-stakes international insanity and stupidity to focus on the garden-variety kind. When an incredibly painful-to-watch CNBC news panel argued that Call of Duty and other video games have killed chivalry and kept guys from dating, an anonymous commenter suggested they were looking in the wrong place [link added, to clarify for non-gamers]:

Chivalry isn't dead! It just sold 1.2 million copies and it's really fun!

I'm certain that answer would both confound and infuriate the CNBC panelists, so I support it wholeheartedly.

That's all for now!



Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
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    That Anonymous Coward (profile), Aug 25th, 2013 @ 12:03pm

    Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom, still haunting after all this time.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  2.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 25th, 2013 @ 12:43pm

    Re:

    I so remember watching that when I was growing up.

    Does this mean I'm old?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  3.  
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    That Anonymous Coward (profile), Aug 25th, 2013 @ 2:58pm

    Re: Re:

    While Jim wrestles those 14 alligators, I'm going to head into the tent and take a nap...

     

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  4.  
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    apauld (profile), Aug 25th, 2013 @ 3:13pm

    The only reason Iíve never had any of my comments rate on the funny or insightful lists is the special filter that Mike has that makes my comments seem less funny and less insightful to others.

     

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  5.  
    identicon
    Paul, Aug 25th, 2013 @ 3:21pm

    Like all NSA supporters, John Yoo is an "Opta-Rectum-Ologist.
    He has a glass tube connecting his eyeball to his ass-hole.
    This condition causes a shitty outlook on life....

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  6.  
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    Dark Helmet (profile), Aug 25th, 2013 @ 5:05pm

    Yup....

    "I'm certain that answer would both confound and infuriate the CNBC panelists, so I support it wholeheartedly."

    Only because CNBC panelists are so easily confused, hence panelists....

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  7.  
    identicon
    Loki, Aug 25th, 2013 @ 5:07pm

    The ruling elite is not afraid of the terrorists, it's actually secretly grateful to them for providing the excuse for their whole surveillance programme.

    On the other hand, they are clearly terrified of Snowden, Greenwald, et al.


    George Carlin pretty much summed it up years ago. Of course he told us the truth about a lot of things of things like Airport Security (back in 2000 before 9/11 even happened) that few people really listen to.

     

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  8.  
    identicon
    Anonymous, Aug 25th, 2013 @ 7:15pm

    Re: Re:

    Probably no older than someone who, say, remembers spending Saturday mornings watching shows like "Isis", "Space Academy", "Land Of The Lost", and "Electra-Woman & Dyna Girl".

     

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  9.  
    identicon
    Anon-Y-Mouse, Aug 25th, 2013 @ 10:23pm

    A search of all OSB statements is needed

    There's one thing John Yoo missed
    the terrorists have already won.
    After all, Bin Laden said that he didn't have to do anything anymore after 9/11, since America would destroy itself.
    He was so right.

    Years ago I remember a broadcast after the first WTC bombing where they mentioned that OSB wanted to turn the Western nations into the police states that were so prevalent in the Middle East. It needs to be found.
    The computer is your friend. To not trust in the computer is treason.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  10.  
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    That Anonymous Coward (profile), Aug 25th, 2013 @ 10:33pm

    Re: Re:

    That depends, do you know what Electric Kool-Aid is?

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  11.  
    identicon
    Beech, Aug 26th, 2013 @ 2:13am

    Re:

    Great. Now that you've posted that they are going to need to dig up Carlin's body to ask it some questions about whether or not it's a terrorist. They're probably going to use a SWAT team too.

     

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  12.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 26th, 2013 @ 3:12am

    Re: A search of all OSB statements is needed

    Sorry, Citizen. Old news audio recordings are Green level access. Your current access: Orange.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  13.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 26th, 2013 @ 6:02am

    Finally! I comment I made makes it to the top posts! But I'll let all the other ACs bask in this moment since I'm cool like that.

    I did ride on the coatails of the Torn Banner studios for this afterall.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  14.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Aug 26th, 2013 @ 7:46am

    Re: Re: Re:

    I tested positive for that - twice!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  15.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Aug 26th, 2013 @ 8:31am

    Re: Re: Re:

    SIGMUND AND THE SEA-MONSTERS!!!!!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  16.  
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    Anonymous, Aug 26th, 2013 @ 2:51pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re:

    That too. Watching it as an adult, though, you can see how much it sucks and think, "I actually used to like this sh...show?!".

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  17.  
    identicon
    Anonymous, Aug 26th, 2013 @ 2:53pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

    "Sigmund & The Sea Monsters", I mean.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  18.  
    icon
    That Anonymous Coward (profile), Aug 26th, 2013 @ 4:34pm

    @Leigh - you also could have subbed in Morgan Freeman into the joke.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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