Modest Proposal: Going Piracy Neutral

from the this-post-is-a-test-of-your-sense-of-humor dept

Here's an amusing one out of the UK. Nick Henderson has created something of a Swiftian "modest proposal" for people who feel guilty about infringement. Modeled after the idea of carbon offsets to become "carbon neutral," he suggests a process for becoming "piracy neutral," which is that if you happen to infringe by downloading an unauthorized song, you should freely release a track of your own composition into the world without restrictions.
Henderson truly is trying to give back to the world, because he recorded some basic stems that he's put together and is offering up as the "piracy neutral fun pack", such that you can remix them yourself to create your own new music in an effort to become "piracy neutral."

And, because people who angrily write comments on this site rarely read to the end of the post, I'll just point out that this is a joke, not anything even remotely serious. Laughter is good.


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    apauld (profile), May 22nd, 2013 @ 8:02pm

    Jeez Mike

    You do realize your asking the idiot squad to actually read three whole paragraphs, don't you?

     

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      apauld (profile), May 22nd, 2013 @ 8:05pm

      Re: Jeez Mike

      BTW, it is very cool.

       

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      Anonymous Coward, May 22nd, 2013 @ 11:12pm

      Pirate the Beatles, Upload Crap of Your Own... Awesome...

      facepalm... how about you upload a song of equal demand as the one you stole. you know, a song people might actually want as opposed to farting into a kazoo to replace a beatles song?

       

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        Anonymous Howard (profile), May 22nd, 2013 @ 11:57pm

        Re: Pirate the Beatles, Upload Crap of Your Own... Awesome...

        *Whooosh*
        What was that sound? Right, the point flying over your head..

         

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        Anonymous Coward, May 23rd, 2013 @ 12:14am

        Re: Pirate the Beatles, Upload Crap of Your Own... Awesome...

        Double facepalm!

         

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        JamesF (profile), May 23rd, 2013 @ 12:57am

        Re: Pirate the Beatles, Upload Crap of Your Own... Awesome...

        You notice how these guys trot out the same crap every time. Wouldn't it be nice if all the copyright trolls all agreed to bugger off and sue each other to death for 'stealing' each others 'arguments'?

         

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    horse with no name, May 22nd, 2013 @ 8:38pm

    whatever

    And, because people who angrily write comments on this site rarely read to the end of the post, I'll just point out that this is a joke, not anything even remotely serious. Laughter is good

    Stupidity is stupidity, even if you think there is a laugh in it.

     

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    Minimum Waged Shill, May 22nd, 2013 @ 8:43pm

    See Mike, you are promoting piracy!!! Techdirt should be shut down for intentionally encouraging unlawful behavior!!!!

     

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    out_of_the_blue, May 22nd, 2013 @ 8:56pm

    That's assuming pirates could make anywhere near equal value.

    But if you could, you'd be keenly protective of it just like the "copyright maximalists"! You may give away your garage band tracks or silly little Youtubery, but if you'd scraped up $100M, coordinated hundreds of talented people, and worked thousands of hours to make a movie, you'd have entirely different opinion about it being "shared" for free. You might even be worried about recovering "sunk (or fixed) costs". Your notions simply don't scale.

    How's this for a remix? Just shorten "And, because people who angrily write comments on this site rarely read to the end of the post, I'll just point out that this is a joke, not anything even remotely serious." down to This site is a joke, not anything even remotely serious.

     

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      AC Unknown, May 22nd, 2013 @ 9:12pm

      Re: That's assuming pirates could make anywhere near equal value.

      Are you prattling on about your $100,000,000 movie again. OOTB? Get over it.

       

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      Anonymous Coward, May 23rd, 2013 @ 1:23am

      Re: That's assuming pirates could make anywhere near equal value.

      Yeah, if I made a movie like that I'd never let it get broadcast..

      Blue even when you try to re-frame the issue you do it wrong.

       

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    the other rob, May 22nd, 2013 @ 9:13pm

    It's actually a better joke than one might have thought...

    ... because the whole "track for a track" idea denigrates the concept of some works having more value than others and reduces artistic expression to fungible commodity.

    That's probably the only thing that the proponents of compulsory licensing and the major record labels agree on.

     

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      Anonymous Anonymous Coward, May 23rd, 2013 @ 7:36am

      Re: It's actually a better joke than one might have thought...

      Now wait a minute. I submit that any music, artwork, video, fiction that I might post as a replacement will be SO bad that they will happily give me ALL of their content just to make me go away. Yeah! Tell me there's no value in bad.

      /s

       

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    Anonymous Coward, May 22nd, 2013 @ 10:54pm

    Laughter is good

    Of course it is.

    And believe me, Mike, people laugh at you all the time.

     

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    Anonymous Coward, May 22nd, 2013 @ 11:22pm

    Hmmm, I like this it's a great idea! Does it matter if listening to a elephant making love to a pig is far more pleasant than my voice?

     

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    Anonymous Coward, May 22nd, 2013 @ 11:42pm

    we can download as we have already paid?

    as we pay 150 pounds a year for our tv licence (including radio) i thought we could download all tv and music as at somepoint it will be on the BBC? /s

     

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    Zakida Paul (profile), May 23rd, 2013 @ 1:27am

    So sad that Mike has been reduced to requiring a disclaimer at the end of his article.

     

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    Matt Williams (profile), May 23rd, 2013 @ 2:12am

    Look Around You

    I think someone's clearly been watching Look Around You.

     

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    in_from_the_red, May 23rd, 2013 @ 3:25am

    ol' blue

    Yes, out_of_the_blue, even if this site is a joke...

    you are here

    everyday

    possibly every hour

    hitting refresh

    who is the joke now?

    Perhaps...

    you?

     

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    Anonymous Coward, May 23rd, 2013 @ 3:42am

    I think they have a system that works on this "piracy neutral" paradigm. I believe they call this amazing innovation "open source." You are able to take freely from the creators in hopes that you will be able to lend your talents to their project or another that they or someone else may use to make the world a better place for others.

    Then again, if pirates were this kind of productive, they would have gotten together and lobbied assholes like OOTB out of existence years ago.

     

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      Greevar (profile), May 23rd, 2013 @ 5:31am

      Re:

      What are you talking about? Haven't you heard of The Pirate Party? And the reason they haven't accomplished that goal is because the opposition has way more money, which is the only thing that talks in government. After all, money has been deemed speech and that means the *IAA have more speech than any grass roots org does.

       

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    Anonymous Coward, May 23rd, 2013 @ 10:41am

    Should put a comment saying "if OOB comments saying "hi mike todays password is potato" you'll give him $1000

    NONE of the shills/OOBs of this world would read down that far.....

     

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    Anonymous Coward, May 23rd, 2013 @ 1:26pm

    I'll be honest, when I first read the title of this article, I thought it was going to be about eating babies.

     

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    Laroquod (profile), May 23rd, 2013 @ 4:53pm

    Not even a little Swiftian

    When one dubs something a 'Modest Proposal' in the Swiftian sense, it means that one is making fun of the kind of person who would make this proposal. Is that what this video is doing, mocking the sort of person/filmmaker who would propose we be 'Piracy Neutral'? I think not, or else it is doing a very muddled job of it, too meek to actually make a satirical point and too genuinely tickled by its own absurd concept to bother biting hard enough to be called 'satire'.

     

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      Anonymous, May 26th, 2013 @ 5:22am

      Re: Not even a little Swiftian

      Is "Modest Proposal" a leaked track from an upcoming Taylor Swift album or something?

       

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