DJs' 'Dihydrogen Monoxide' April Fool's Prank Results In Suspension And Possible Felony Charges

from the is-actually-Dolan-water dept

April Fool's Day. Either you love it or you hate it. There's not much middle ground. As a writer on The Internet, April Fool's Day is a 24-hour deathtrap composed of plausible stories that will set you on fire the moment you press the Publish button. It turns even the most cheerful of writers into a deeply cynical curmudgeon, one who approaches each possible scoop with more suspicion than the heavily-bearded guy down the street who's building a bunker under his garage and frequently answers the door wearing nothing but a shotgun. (Much of this reverts back to normal following the "holiday," but each year adds another layer of resentful suspicion. In fact, if you cut open a writer, you can simply count the rings to determine how many years they've been in the business.)

For many people, though, April Fool's Day is a 24-hour period filled with lighthearted pranks and sub-Onion quasi-satire. They love cheerful shenanigans and they love being fooled. Except when they don't. Then it's suddenly "gone too far" and concerned foolees start pressing for "something to be done about it." This is one of those stories, the kind where you can't fool all of the people all of the time, but you can temporarily fool enough of them that someone gets seriously pissed off.

Florida country radio morning-show hosts Val St. John and Scott Fish are currently serving indefinite suspensions and possibly worse over a successful April Fools' Day prank. They told their listeners that "dihydrogen monoxide" was coming out of the taps throughout the Fort Myers area.
If you're not familiar with the term "dihydrogen monoxide," you'll be thrilled to know that the compound is damn near everywhere. Not only that, but its ubiquity has prompted many a petition to be signed fervently in favor of banning the dangerous-sounding substance completely. No one's really sure what makes it so dangerous, but anything containing two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen can't be completely safe.

Of course, anyone who's paid attention over the last couple of decades (at least) knows that dihydrogen monoxide is water. What's surprising is that a couple of pranking DJs could find enough people unaware of this fact to a.) pull off the prank and b.) possibly face felony charges. Wait... what?
[A]pparently, the station, the water works, and perhaps the authorities are still trying to figure out if the two hosts could face felony charges for, again, reporting that the scientific name of water was coming out of the pipes. "My understanding is it is a felony to call in a false water quality issue," Diane Holm, a public information officer for Lee County, told WTSP, while Renda stood firm about his deejays: "They will have to deal with the circumstances."
It seems unlikely the DJ duo will actually face felony charges, but they are currently suspended after being yanked off the air in the middle of their morning show. Apparently, enough people expressed their concern about dihydrogen monoxide leakage that the local water utility was forced to issue a statement.

These reactions to an April Fool's prank that occurred on a day when pranks are to be expected seem rather overblown. The DJs are suspended indefinitely for technically telling the truth and the station has indicated the pair are facing additional punishment. Sure, nobody wants to feel like a fool, but that is the totality of April 1st. If this many people can't take being taken for a ride on the foolingest day of the year, then it's a clear sign that the national sense of humor is in critical condition. (We've already eulogized the national sense of proportion and scattered its ashes across a variety of moral panics and Terms of Service outrages.) To put it in more familiar terms, "If you can't laugh at yourself, the terrorists win."

[It appears the terrorists have won. (Again.) A poll on the radio station's website (warning: ads frickin' everywhere even with Adblock) shows that 78% of the respondents believe the DJs should return to the airwaves "never." (Poll is no longer live, but an "indefinite" suspension could technically lead to returning "never.")]



Reader Comments (rss)

(Flattened / Threaded)

  1.  
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    DannyB (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:21am

    Knee jerk over reactions

    Something should be done to send a message.

    We should have a knee jerk over reaction to people who exhibit knee jerk over reactions such as this.

     

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  2.  
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    Nastybutler77 (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:27am

    Shocking. People are stupid and don't like having it pointed out to them. Keep me posted.

     

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  3.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:27am

    I'm not seeing a poll, but they seriously had one about how they should handle their own employees? That is just crass.

     

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  4.  
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    Ken, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:29am

    Look, I'm as staunch a supporter of the First Amendment as everyone. But society has to protect its most vulnerable members: very young children, people in comas, head injury victims, the profoundly disabled, and Floridians.

     

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  5.  
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    dennis deems (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:30am

    Anyone who's paid attention over the last couple of decades (at least) knows that dihydrogen monoxide is water.
    Alternatively, anyone who paid attention during seventh grade science class knows that dihydrogen monoxide is water.

     

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  6.  
    identicon
    Rabbit80, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:33am

    Re:

    This is what happens when you teach religion instead of science in the science classroom.

     

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  7.  
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    Gareth, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:33am

    Hardly surprising, given:

    A) It's Florida, and

    B) It's a Country station.

    Not exactly a Venn diagram that would contain a lot of smart listeners.

     

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  8.  
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    Atkray (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:34am

    Adblock

    Tim,

    I'm running Firefox 19.0.2 (apparently it wants an update) and adblock, and I don't see any ads.

     

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  9.  
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    Luke A, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:38am

    I. Cant. Headdesk. Hard. Enough.

    How can the population be this stupid?

    Could they at least look it up on the internet before they panic?

    What ARE they putting in the Dihydrogen Monoxide in Florida?

     

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  10.  
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    Chosen Reject (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:39am

    Wait till people learn about the amount of dioxygen in the air. It's been responsible for mass extinctions, and is highly linked to forest, home, and business fires. It has also been known to cause rust, accounting for billions of dollars of economic loss every year.

    I recommend that everyone who was concerned about dihydrogen monoxide should immediately put in place measures that prevent exposure to dioxygen.

     

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  11.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:39am

    How the water company should've handle this

    Water Company Guy: *picks up the phone* Hello?
    Concerned Citizen: Hello? Yes, I have a question regarding the water quality.
    WCG: Go on...
    CC: I'm concerned that it might be contaminated with Dihydrogen Monoxide.
    WCG: You are aware that Dihydrogen Monoxide is water correct?
    CC: But the guys on the radio said that it was dangerous!
    WCG: Are you familiar with the concept of April Fools?
    CC: I...uh...
    WCG: Jackass... *hangs up phone*

     

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  12.  
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    Luke A, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:39am

    You win comment of the day.

     

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  13.  
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    Atkray (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:39am

    Re:

    That is what I thought except those are exactly the two groups you would expect to keep forwarding the warning email about Dihydrogen Monoxide that has been floating around for a while now, you know, the kind that Mom's and off-shore casinos send.

     

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  14.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:40am

    Re:

    Oh come now. There must be dozens.

     

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  15.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:41am

    Re:

    Floride, obviously :P

     

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  16.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:45am

    Another update

    Check the bottom of the original article on theatlanticwire.com for another update. In summary: DJs are back on the air, probably won't be charged.

     

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  17.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:45am

    Re: Re:

    No, this is what happens when you allow environmental activists and their cohorts in the media to brainwash the population into believing that anything with a scary-sounding name is automatically bad for you.

     

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  18.  
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    Yakko Warner (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:46am

    They have a right to be concerned

    You do realize that dihydrogen monoxide (or DHMO) is involved in 100% of drowning-related accidents in the US alone.

     

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  19.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:47am

    If Dihydrogen Monoxide is so harmless why don't you drink it?

    Everyone drinks soda instead of the dangerous Dihydrogen Monoxide, so we should ban it! We shouldn't even allow our kids to bathe in Dihydrogen Monoxide!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  20.  
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    SquidlyMan, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:50am

    What about the date?

    Uhhhh.... It was April 1st. Didn't anyone in the state of retirement bother to draw upon the years of experience for this day and remember it is Aril Fools Day?

    There was a similar situation many years ago in Seattle with a Country radio station (something about varmints parachuting off the Space Needle) which ended badly for the DJs and I believe that was on April Fools Day as well.

     

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  21.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:50am

    Re:

    Did you know that they put IRON in some foods?

    No wonder I've been getting so heavy! I keep telling my doctor: it's not fat, it's all the Iron they put in the foods these days. Of course, he won't listen to me. He just tells me to move my fat arse and lose some weight.

    Stupid doctors...

     

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  22.  
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    Yakko Warner (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:52am

    Update: They're back on the air

    http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2013/04/florida-dj-indefinite-suspension-didnt-last-ver y-long/63837/

    The indefinite suspension didn't last very long for the Florida morning-radio hosts who played an April Fools' prank gone wrong—or right, it's kind of hard to tell—and according to an official at the local health department they also won't be charged with a felony.

     

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  23.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:53am

    Dihydrogen monoxide wouldn't be related to the the bottle labled:-
    Copious water, use sparingly
    that a university lab tech produced to satisfy a student request.
    One would of thought that the date at least woukd have caused people to think before leaping.

     

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  24.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:55am

    We should hand out felony charges to everyone at Pixar - Woody's line "Somebody's poisoned the water-hole!" in Toy Story is CLEARLY calling in a false water quality issue.

     

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  25.  
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    Digitari, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:55am

    Re: Re:

    Doesn't everyone know that fluoridated Dihydrogen Monoxide causes Monotheistic adherents to sublimate??

     

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  26.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:55am

    Re: Re:

    Fort Myers is a Yankee retirement community. What do you expect intelligence from Yankees? If so you have never visited Fort Myers.

     

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  27.  
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    Yakko Warner (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 11:56am

    Re: Update: They're back on the air

    For their next trick, they should try issuing an alert that people are walking around downtown with their epidermis showing.

     

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  28.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:01pm

    It seems as Americans grow thicker, their skin gets thinner.

     

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  29.  
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    Greevar (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:01pm

    The next threat...

    Adenosine triphosphate. It's in every living thing on the planet. When it is broken down in our cells, it becomes adenosine diphosphate. These two substances affect your metabolism. The process of breaking down ATP into ADP can cause oxidative damage to cells. The only solution is to consume plenty of antioxidants such as dihydrogen monoxide, a substance that can kill you if you get too much of it in your lungs.

     

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  30.  
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    David (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:03pm

    Re:

    Hey I live in Florida! And most of the people around me.... Oh. Yeah. You may have a point...

     

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  31.  
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    Some Guy, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:04pm

    It's no joke. Dihydrogen Monoxide kills. If we don't address the problem now, we'll soon be swimming in the stuff.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  32.  
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    Chosen Reject (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:05pm

    Re: Re:

    Oh I am well aware. Thankfully, there is an easy test to see if you've been contaminated with both iron and dioxygen: check your blood color. If it is red, you've got them both in your system. I happen to have a system for ridding yourself of these substances, PM me for prices.

     

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  33.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:06pm

    Re:

    Well, yeah - obviously it has to stretch out to accomodate all of those Big Macs we're shoveling into our gullets.

     

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  34.  
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    Paul Harrgus, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:08pm

    Slobbo!

    The high "NEVER" response on the article was due to listeners of the Opie and Anthony Show on SiriusXM going to the website and purposefully slanting the poll's (not scientific) results on Tuesday morning. It has nothing to do with the jocks' popularity or lack thereof.

    These same listeners also left some delicious appendage photos on the station's facebook page, which were eventually deleted.

    Let me babysit your children.

     

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  35.  
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    Greg G (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:23pm

    Re: How the water company should've handle this

    Yes, I so wish we could respond to the Delta Alpha callers like that.

    I don't work for the Ft Myers water works, but I do work as a CSR, and get a LOT of callers like that.

    More proof that you just can't fix stupid.

     

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  36.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:23pm

    Blown out of proporation

    Just like every good practical joke on April 1st.


    "My understanding is it is a felony to call in a false water quality issue"

    They never called it in. They just spread the harmless rumor that actually forced the workers at the water center to get a few more phone calls than normal.

    Now if only the water company could set up adds and make a profit off all the extra traffic, everyone would be happy.

    The real question is though, what prank will they use next year to outdo this one? Chances are I'll be listening in....

     

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  37.  
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    Zos (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:24pm

    Re: Another update

    it's entirely possible that the local DA's idea of a prank is threatening felony charges.

     

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  38.  
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    Mr. Oizo, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:25pm

    Hydrogenhydroxide

    A sad thing the DJ's didn't mention the huge amounts of hydrogenhydroxide mixed in with that dihydrogenmonoxide. This acid-base has already killed uncountable people.

     

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  39.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:30pm

    Re: Re: Re:

    Make sure you patent it!

     

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  40.  
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    radarmonkey (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:33pm

    A few observations:

    1. Anyone who uses morning-show DJs as their primary source of news (especially life threatening news) should be classified as 'non-sentient'.

    2. I would love to see the DJs forced apology to read "We're sorry for our April Fools Day broadcast. We had no possible way to believe people would be stupid enough to believe a 7th-grade joke."

    3. Further, I believe the DJs should quit, because their listeners *ARE* stupid enough to believe a 7th-grade joke!

     

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  41.  
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    Chip Chipperson, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:37pm

    Re: Slobbo!

    tsssss! Those guys are funny.....

     

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  42.  
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    Coogan (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:42pm

    Re: The next threat...

    I'm not worried about that crap. I just found out that my body is swimming in something called deoxyribonucleic acid. ACID! Like, that metal-eating slobber that that alien thing leaves all over the place. If it can eat thru a metal floor, imagine what it's doing to my body! Yuck!

     

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  43.  
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    Coogan (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:43pm

    Re:

    It's no joke. Dihydrogen Monoxide kills. If we don't address the problem now, we'll soon be swimming in the stuff.

    Lawsuit against Monsanto in 3.....2.....1....

     

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  44.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:47pm

    The water utility statement should have read the following.

    Lee County UtilitiesWater Safe To Drink

    BECAUSE DIHYDROGEN-MONOXIDE IS FUCKING WATER YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH.

    Now for the love of god go back to grade school.

     

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  45.  
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    AB (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:49pm

    Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this

    I did a stint as a technician and dealt with the same thing. I had one customer who would call at least four times a week needing us to come over and either unjam or reload their tractor feed printer. That particular customer was a secretarial school.

    If only their were a way to isolate these people and prevent them from breeding.

     

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  46.  
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    Capitalist Lion Tamer (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:49pm

    Re: Adblock

    Weird. I was running Chrome w/Adblock and saw stuff lining the right side of the screen.

     

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  47.  
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    Jay, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:50pm

    RE: The next threat...

    Just think most soft drinks contain a large quantity of dihydrogen-carbontrioxide, an unstable chemical compound which starts to decompose when exposed to air and heat…

     

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  48.  
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    znmeb (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:51pm

    The DiHydrogen Monohoaxxide hoax has been around for decades. Personally, I think they should be fired for not only being irresponsible but for plagiarism.

     

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  49.  
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    John Fenderson (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:56pm

    Re: A few observations:

    Anyone who uses morning-show DJs as their primary source of news (especially life threatening news) should be classified as 'non-sentient'.


    True, although in fairness, using that as your source of news is not significantly dumber than using any other radio or TV broadcast as your source of news.

     

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  50.  
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    Wolfy, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:57pm

    Hey guys? I'm trying to find the "Home of the Brave". Anyone know how to get there from here?

     

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  51.  
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    Jim G., Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 12:57pm

    I can't believe everyone here thinks dihydrogen monoxide is harmless. Don't you realize this dangerous substance:


    -is the major component of acid rain.
    -contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
    -may cause severe burns.
    -is fatal if inhaled.
    -contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
    -accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
    -may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
    -has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

     

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  52.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:01pm

    Re: Re:

    I'll bet most of the people around you live in Florida too......

     

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  53.  
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    Tom (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:05pm

    Re: Re:

    Those Ferrous metals are everywhere! In my food! In office buildings! In our CARS, for deity's sake!!

    Please sign my petition to have Ferrous metals banned from all public places and all commercial products.

    http://youso.stupid

     

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  54.  
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    Lord BInky, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:08pm

    Re: Re:

    I just wave a magnet through my cereal and extract the added iron. Sadly it honestly does pick up iron flakes... (you may have to crush up your cereal but it is there if it's enhanced with iron)

     

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  55.  
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    Tom (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:08pm

    Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this

    Don't forget about the PEBCAK's, and the ID-Ten-Tangos. We will never escape them. They're like zombies.

    Err. Life-challenged Americans.

     

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  56.  
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    It's Just Me, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:10pm

    Re: Re: Re:

    Settle down Cooter.

     

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  57.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:14pm

    Face it - April 1st ruins lives. My April 1st was tanked 'cuz I just KNEW the story about Jerry Jones selling the Cowboys to Mark Cuban could'nt be true. I was so looking foward to him getting fined by the NFL *and* the NBA at the same time. (That, and Mark Cuban would've NEVER given Romo that contract...)

     

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  58.  
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    New Mexico Mark, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:15pm

    Re: Re: Update: They're back on the air

    Not to mention how many people are walking around exposing their philtrums... even in front of minors.

    pervs

     

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  59.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:15pm

    Re: Re: Re:

    Yawn.

     

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  60.  
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    Lord Binky, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:21pm

    "My understanding is it is a felony to call in a false water quality issue"

    I guess stating that your tap water contains an increased amount of pure water is a water quality issue then. Imagine the problem if they reported that the domestic water supply contained chlorine, hydrofluosilicic acid, or sodium silicofluoride that was added at the water treatment plant.

     

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  61.  
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    dennis deems (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:23pm

    Re:

    One wood of thought is what I get for daydreaming about Alfie Allen.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  62.  
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    OldGeezer (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:29pm

    This stunt wasn't even original. Penn & Teller did a Bullshit episode about how everybody is ready to ignorantly jump on anything that sounds environmental and had people passing around petitions to ban dihydrogen monoxide. Same clueless people were signing that fall for the global warming hoax. One single volcano produces more CO2 than man made causes can in decades but everybody is falling for this crap.

     

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  63.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:33pm

    Can you imagine Orson Welles trying to do his "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast in today's environment? He'd be locked up in Gitmo and never heard from again.

     

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  64.  
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    Mason Wheeler (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:40pm

    Re: Re: Re:

    Isn't that exactly what he said? Teaching religion instead of science? ;)

     

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  65.  
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    Anonymous Monkey (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:42pm

    Re: The next threat...

    ROFL .. you make it sound like a catch-22 situation .. bravo

     

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  66.  
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    Chosen Reject (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:43pm

    Re: Re: Re:

    Kindly check your link as it is not working. Please do it quickly. I found myself full of both iron and dioxygen and immediately covered my body in leeches and put a plastic bag over my head, but I faer Imayy hvae bene to late asIm getnig vyr dzizy. WYH DID OMBAA LET TISH HAPPEAWZrAWbg

     

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  67.  
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    special-interesting (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:46pm

    Anyone can, if they try, that these guys did not in any way question the quality of the water with claims of 'dihydrogen monoxide' coming out of water faucets. (this is actually an old joke of which the upper staff at WTSP should feel bad at not recognizing)

    One could also claim that it is good to question the quality of any source of food or water regardless of some silly government claim of fitness. Questioning government is good at every level. This would of course require common sense and that is extraordinary these days but its still a valid concept for any democracy.

    This was what? An April Fool's joke presented on April fools day? LOL! Now watch some preposterously stupid prosecutor present this as coming from out of the blue and shocking. (I hope there are TV cameras in that courtroom)

    Was it shocking to anyone? GOOD! Every radio and TV broadcast must be questioned and verified by other means hopefully at least 3 independent sources if only for basic human behavioral reasons that most stories are skewed if not totally bent by special interest groups or worse by government agencies protecting their own arses from whatever scandal/mistake/pogrom cover-up of the time(s).

    It is up to the individual to do this hopefully easy research. To rely on any once source of info is to be spooked by the ghosts/fears of others repeatedly. It facilitates living a life of fear raised by others who may not have your best interests at heart.

    Anyone can remember the Orson Wells's War of the Worlds alien invasion from Mars April 1st broadcast which panicked several towns and entertained thousands of others. Such a great lesson of group cultural awareness can rarely be obtained in the classroom. Hysteria is its own lesson and our cultural awareness levels up by experiencing such. Even trying to be harmless and fun some would panic anyway and that is the lesson/wisdom gained.

    Questioning the gossip one hears over the backyard fence it good. Questioning the rumors heard from friends is good. Questioning ANY news overheard from radio, TV or Internet is good. Questioning anything ANY government says regardless of presentability or apparent fitness is GOOD and HEALTHY. Such self verification breeds a culture that loves facts not fiction.

    Because just saying such a thing as “,felony to call in a false water quality issue," is ridiculous in the first place its another law that should be thrown out. On the face of it we criticize water quality all the time and worry about it to much calcium/lead/fluoride/volatiles/suspended-solids/rust/etc. harm us every day and sometimes we are wrong and other times right! Making such a law prohibits public debate about water quality matters of which are vitally important to both public health and understanding.

    The DJ's from WTSP were basically questioning the validity of water being healthy or even necessary to human life is good and healthy but no way can be considered criminal. Even if they are not ultimately charged just the brouhaha raised brings to light much self critical insight.

    So if it is considerd a felony or punishable offense by WTSP or its listeners... Shame on the involved parties. Pants on fire? Nose too long? Brain dysfunctional? Likely! Since the average listener seems likely to kick someone rather than laugh one might reconsider any property values in the area.

     

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  68.  
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    Digitari, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:48pm

    Re:

    The Faster the Universe expands, the Denser we become...

     

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  69.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:51pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re:

    I see what you did there.

    Well played.

     

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  70.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:52pm

    Re: Knee jerk over reactions

    Maybe they could be Dihydrogen Monoxide-boarded?

     

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  71.  
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    Benjamin C. Wade (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 1:59pm

    This comment is my favorite. In the words of Captain...

    In the words of Captain Picard, "Make it so!!!"

     

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  72.  
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    Malor (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 2:05pm

    Stupid people

    Stupid people don't like being reminded that they are stupid.

    That's the whole of the DJs' "terrible crime"; demonstrating to people that they are incompetent boobs, and the people being resentful of that.

    Demonstrating someone's stupidity by telling the truth in a complex way being criminal? Yep, that sounds like modern America.

     

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  73.  
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    IronM@sk, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 2:12pm

    Re: Re: Adblock

    Very weird. I came to post that I didn't see any ads in Firefox, then saw you were using Chrome, so was going to then post about that instead, but then I fired up the site in both browsers and it looked exactly the same in both, ie, sans ads.

    I also run NoScript in Firefox, but not in Chrome and it still looked the same. I got nuthin'

     

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  74.  
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    Rekrul, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 2:30pm

    (warning: ads frickin' everywhere even with Adblock)

    Try the MVP Hosts file. I don't see a single ad on that site and I didn't have to install a special browser add-on.

     

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  75.  
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    Cowards Anonymous, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 2:32pm

    Oceans

    Wait until their listeners hear that the ocean surrounding them is not just full of that dihydrogen monoxide stuff, but contains toxic levels of sodium chloride as well.

    And since when is reporting facts taught in school considered a joke or a prank?

     

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  76.  
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    Bergman (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:01pm

    Re:

    Look on the bright side. If they get just a little dumber, the next time it rains they'll look up to see what is hitting them and drown.

     

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  77.  
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    btr1701, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:03pm

    Re: They have a right to be concerned

    Surely some people must drown in something other than water. Can't be 100%

     

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  78.  
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    Bergman (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:07pm

    Re: Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this

    Unfortunately, our society is not selecting for intelligence.

    When you go on a date, do you prefer the highly attractive person who may not be very bright or do you prefer the ugly but highly intelligent person?

    If you won't date ugly people, you probably won't ever get to later relationship stages with them, won't marry them and won't have kids with them. This de-selects unattractive people. Attractive and intelligent people still reproduce, except...

    Intelligent people often have careers. Some make time for kids, but a lot don't. That removes them from the gene pool.

    Meanwhile, attractive stupid people are often confused by how birth control works or don't believe in it. They don't have careers that get in the way of having kids. And as a result, they breed like rabbits as a demographic group.

    In the end, natural selection might just kill us off as a species.

     

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  79.  
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    Bergman (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:09pm

    Re: They have a right to be concerned

    Actually, it's not. Drowning is caused by a lack of oxygen reaching the lungs because it's blocked by something else. The most common form of material causing such a blockage IS dihydrogen monoxide, but it's not the only one.

    Pure nitrogen environments, direct exposure to Halon, aspirating whipped cream (during a pie in the face incident) and other things can also drown you.

    So no, dihydrogen monoxide is not responsible for 100% of all drowning deaths.

     

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  80.  
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    Bergman (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:11pm

    Re:

    Soda contains very high levels of dihydrogen monoxide.

     

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  81.  
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    MAC, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:11pm

    dihydrogen monoxide

    Almost 90% dihydrogen monoxide and 100% sheer stupidity.
    That's what most human beings are composed of...

     

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  82.  
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    Bergman (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:14pm

    Re: Re:

    That's been debunked. The guy who made the Supersize Me movie falsified his research. You cannot reach the calorie counts he claimed without violating the rules he claims he followed.

    Someone who actually does follow the rules claimed in Supersize Me tends to maintain or even lose weight on a McDonalds diet unless they are a total couch potato.

     

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  83.  
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    Bergman (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:18pm

    I feel a little lame now

    I only played fairly minor pranks on April 1st. A phantom keystroker on a friend's laptop was the most severe one (and I moderated it by attaching a bag of chocolates to the thing).

    Most of the pranks I played consisted of a pad of post-its and a pen. I wrote 3.14159 on the post-its and stuck them the the foreheads of everyone I met that day. About half of them got the joke. One of them even asked for a few extra to pass out (via foreheads) to their friends.

    A local scale panic due to hihydrogen monoxide? I am in awe.

     

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  84.  
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    Bergman (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:19pm

    Re: I feel a little lame now

    Want to Buy: edit button!

     

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  85.  
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    AB (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:28pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this

    When I was looking for a potential mate I always started with the eyes. If I didn't like the eyes that was the end. The other requirement was intelligence, but interestingly I never have met a stupid person with what I consider attractive eyes.

    As a result I may have missed out on a lot of dates with attractive and stupid people, but that's okay. I choose very wisely and don't have any regrets. :)

    But I do understand your point, and it is all too true in general.

     

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  86.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:31pm

    How did we ever manage to go to space?

     

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  87.  
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    AB (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:32pm

    Re: I feel a little lame now

    Ha, I like that one! Never heard of it before.

     

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  88.  
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    nasch (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:34pm

    Re:

    Alternatively, anyone who paid attention during seventh grade science class knows that dihydrogen monoxide is water.

    I'm guessing that means a small minority of people.

     

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  89.  
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    nasch (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:45pm

    Re: The next threat...

    The process of breaking down ATP into ADP can cause oxidative damage to cells.

    It can help cause involuntary muscle contractions as well.

    The only solution is to consume plenty of antioxidants such as dihydrogen monoxide, a substance that can kill you if you get too much of it in your lungs.

    Even swallowing too much of it is toxic.

     

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  90.  
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    Aza, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 3:57pm

    Here is the email address to the station....

    Can we please bombard the station with how idiotic it is that these men are being punished for the ignorance of others! Holy crap!

    rsavage@rendabroadcasting.com

     

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  91.  
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    Almost Anonymous (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 4:41pm

    Re: Re: Another update

    Golf clap my friend. You deserve it.

     

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  92.  
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    Almost Anonymous (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 4:45pm

    Re: Re: Re:

    That's been debunked. The guy who made the Supersize Me movie falsified his research. You cannot reach the calorie counts he claimed without violating the rules he claims he followed.

    I suppose that it's possible he faked his data.

    Someone who actually does follow the rules claimed in Supersize Me tends to maintain or even lose weight on a McDonalds diet unless they are a total couch potato.

    Nope, sorry, I probably wouldn't believe this statement with a mountain of data to back it up.

    And just a side note: as I recall, he wasn't having as much trouble with weight gain as he was with liver damage...

     

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  93.  
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    Almost Anonymous (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 4:48pm

    Re:

    Are you suggesting that our planet is not experiencing global warming, either aided by man or not?

     

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  94.  
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    Capitalist Lion Tamer (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 5:31pm

    Re: Re: Re: Adblock

    Hallucinogens?

     

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  95.  
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    athe, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 5:39pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Adblock

    Probably in the dihydrogen monoxide...

     

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  96.  
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    DOlz, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 5:57pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this

    Of course this was the premise of "The Marching Morons" published in 1951.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons

     

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  97.  
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    madasahatter (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 6:02pm

    Re:

    And country music fans.

     

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  98.  
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    DS, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 6:04pm

    Fake fake totally fake.

    Also, the majority of the "Never back on the air" voters are Opie & Anthony fans, or otherwise just hate totally stupid radio pranks.

     

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  99.  
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    AB (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 6:19pm

    Re: Re: Re: Update: They're back on the air

    That one I had to look up.

     

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  100.  
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    OldGeezer (profile), Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 6:29pm

    Re: Re:

    There is some evidence that the earth is currently in a warming trend just has occurred many times in history. Man has very little if anything to do with it. When I was in school in the 60's there was some signs of the opposite and the Chicken Littles were warning that we were headed for an ice age.

     

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  101.  
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    Digitari, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 7:38pm

    Re:

    we went to the moon back in the 60's ya know before all the "war on drugs" nonsense. they had "expanded" minds back then....

     

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  102.  
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    thnidu, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 8:21pm

    a song about it

    There's a song about it, dated 1997, to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic: you know, "Glory, glory, Hallelujah...". (Full disclosure: I wrote the lyrics, and it's on my website at http://filk.cracksandshards.com/DHMO.html .) It starts:

    There's a chemical that poses deadly danger to us all
    If we don't eliminate it, we are headed for a fall
    But our governments refuse to see the writing on the wall
    They're going to let us die!

    Ban dihydrogen monoxide!

    Ban dihydrogen monoxide!
    
Ban dihydrogen monoxide

    Before it kills us all!

     

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  103.  
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    Sambo, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 9:26pm

    imagine the outrage

    Imagine the outrage if they had told people they were getting bombarded with advertisements and other messages via high frequency sound waves.

     

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  104.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 10:40pm

    Re:

    I'd take offense at that, but I imagine that your own intellect likely doesn't intersect within such a diagram.

    I still have nightmares of my college chemist prof blasting that horrid Garth Brooks crap, by the way.

     

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  105.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 3rd, 2013 @ 10:58pm

    Re: What about the date?

    Alzheimers

     

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  106.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 12:48am

    Personally I've always been a big fan of the dihydrogenmonoxide joke. Even participated in one of them myself in Sweden, collecting signatures to stop the polluting industries.

    Aside from being fun on april fools, it teaches three important things:

    1) The value of a functional education system.

    2) It teaches people to stop worrying about and signing things they don't understand, and instead go do some homework.

    3) It raises awareness about professional peddlers of panic. "WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!" is never a good start for making public policy, creating laws, or starting protests. The sheer amount of crap that's been done "for public safety, for the children, to stop terrorism, to fight crime, to fight drugs" etcetera is mind boggling.

    If you don't know what things are really about, here's a tip: Stay calm, and eat cupcakes.

     

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  107.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 2:22am

    Re: Re: Adblock

    I always find the chrome Adblock to be piss poor in comparison to the firefox one. But maybe its just the default ad lists?

     

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  108.  
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    ethorad (profile), Apr 4th, 2013 @ 3:39am

    Re:

    The other one I've seen done was a petition to end female suffrage. They got a lot of women to sign it in particular.

    Suffrage sounds like suffering so it must be bad, right?

     

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  109.  
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    Terry, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 6:35am

    I'm just glad they didn't do the "Something has released dioxygen into the air, we should all be afraid!"

     

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  110.  
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    The Gray Adder, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 7:37am

    A true Foxworthy moment.

    They should have had a fifth grader explain it to them.

     

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  111.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 7:46am

    H G Wells

    You should just count yourself lucky it was not someone telling you aliens had invaded the earth !!!!..

    You don't have to be from Florida to be stupid it seems..

     

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  112.  
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    TaCktiX, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 7:53am

    Re: Re: They have a right to be concerned

    Actually, what you're describing is "asphyxiation." According to the World Health Organization, drowning specifically requires liquid to be the cause of no longer getting oxygen. However, you are right that you can asphyxiate in more than just water.

     

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  113.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 7:53am

    Water

    very dangerous substance, have too little of it you die, have too much of it.. you die.

    a tea spoon of the stuff is enough to kill you (you can drown in as little as a tea spoon of water), it's responsible for thousands of deaths a year.

    It can crush you, burn you, vaporise you, freeze you, it can cut through steel!!

    It's 'natural' so you can assume it's safe, just like Uranium is natural, or snake venom, or the plague.. All 100% natural..

     

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  114.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 7:56am

    Re: imagine the outrage

    were not though !!!

     

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  115.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 7:59am

    April food trick for tech support..

    "how do I fix this problem??? "

    A. Easy, click on your desktop, select Ctrl-A and press ENTER..

     

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  116.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:07am

    War if the worlds

    "Hand cites studies by unnamed historians who "calculate[d] that some 6 million heard the CBS broadcast; 1.7 million believed it to be true, and 1.2 million were 'genuinely frightened'". NBC's audience, by contrast, was an estimated 30 million."

    so 1.7 million people believed it, and 1.2million people believed it but where not scared !!!!..

    New that's dumb..

     

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  117.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:25am

    Re:

    "One single volcano produces more CO2 than man made causes can in decades but everybody is falling for this crap"

    NOT TRUE !!!!.. yes, volcanos do release CO2, but not as much (from even the largest volcanos) produce as much CO2 as mankind would product in a year.

    Worse, it is the Sulphur Dioxide gas and particulate matter that is more damaging than the CO2 emissions.

    and no a volcano does NOT release anywhere near what mankind can put CO2 into the environment.

     

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  118.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:27am

    Re:

    70% of Adolf Hitler was made from it !!!!!!....

     

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  119.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:29am

    Re:

    I believe he moved to New Zealand !!!

     

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  120.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:30am

    Re: Re:

    built his home on the land of the free.

     

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  121.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:37am

    Re:

    what did they plagiarise again ??

    the correct name for water ??

    it's not a hoax either, it is a factual statement.

    a hoax is a false statement that is not true, what is false or not true about this ?

    Is it a hoax and am I plagiarizing if I call salt sodium chloride ?

    or baking soda NaCh0s ?

     

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  122.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:39am

    Re: RE: The next threat...

    H20 is an unstable chemical compound which starts to decompose when exposed to air and heat.

     

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  123.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:47am

    Re: Hydrogenhydroxide

    uncountable people, now if you can count everyone one on the planet, how could that base..

    you need to adjust your acid-base I think !

     

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  124.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:51am

    I hear alot of sport people are taking a new

    Performance enhancing drug..

    DHMO

    .... they been seeing drinking while riding their bikes !!!.

    If you see someone taking this new potent strain of DHMO report it at once...

     

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  125.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 8:54am

    Dihydrogen monoxide is NOT the correct chemical name for water..

    as officially defined in the

    International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry

    So to call water DHMO is a LIE...

     

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  126.  
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    nasch (profile), Apr 4th, 2013 @ 9:01am

    Re: Re: RE: The next threat...

    H20 is an unstable chemical compound which starts to decompose when exposed to air and heat.

    It evaporates, it doesn't decompose (unless you're talking about 2000+ degrees C).

     

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  127.  
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    Miff (profile), Apr 4th, 2013 @ 11:49am

    I prefer more obscure alternate names for water, such as hydrogen hydroxide, hydroxylic acid, hydrogen oxide, and oxidane (the last of which is the official IUPAC name! (when it's necessary to disambiguate between liquid water and H2O regardless of state)).

     

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  128.  
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    art guerrilla (profile), Apr 4th, 2013 @ 12:37pm

    Re: Knee jerk over reactions

    well, it *is* the "universal solvent", too, and *that* sounds scary...
    don't you maroons get it: it will dissolve THE UNIVERSE ! ! !

    (and, yes, i'm from la florida...)

    art guerrilla
    aka ann archy
    eof

     

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  129.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 4th, 2013 @ 4:12pm

    Re: Re: Re: RE: The next threat...

    ill say it again, H2O is an unstable chemical compound which starts to decompose when exposed to air and heat.

    no I am not just talking about water changing from liquid to vapour. What I said is what I said, it is true.

    I also hazard a guess that 2000+ Degrees C, IS A HEAT RIGHT ????

    do you think 2000+ Degrees C is not heat ???

     

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  130.  
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    nasch (profile), Apr 4th, 2013 @ 7:32pm

    Re: Re: Re: Re: RE: The next threat...

    Your statement is not strictly accurate. For example, if I expose water to 70 degree air, that's exposing it to air and heat, but it will not break apart.

     

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  131.  
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    Anonymous Coward, Apr 5th, 2013 @ 2:38am

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: RE: The next threat...

    possibly not so much with air, but water is an excellent solvent, which means it does break up and form different molecules that H2O, it also naturally breaks down or sublimate but far less then what occurs in the evaporation process alone..

    water will break down or gain extra molecules very easily, that's why it is an excellent solvent.

    So yes it is strictly accurate.. liquid water turning into water vapour is not what I am talking about, it's still water.

    But water placed in a car battery quickly ceases to be water, it is not a stable molecule.

     

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  132.  
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    Trash, Apr 6th, 2013 @ 10:58pm

    Virus Alert!

    If you receive an e-mail entitled “Bad times,” delete it immediately! Do not open it. Apparently, this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on CD’s, DVD’s, LP’s or chiseled in stone within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on all of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator’s temperature settings so that all your ice cream melts, your milk curdles, your ice rots and your meat reanimates. It will program your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law’s number. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank and remove the O from your H2O. It will drink all your beer and refill the bottles with fermented Yak slobber. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and belly button fuzz to migrate behind your ears. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, replace your K-Y jelly with Poligrip then start dating your boyfriend/ girlfriend behind your back and bill their hotel rendezvous party to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors in your hands and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and tinea. It will rewrite your backup files and reveal your PIN number via skywriting over South Central L.A. It will change all of your active verbs to the passive tense and incorporate undetectable misspellings that grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. If the “Bad times” message is opened in a Windows ME environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and hard wire your hair dryer dangerously close to a full bath tub. It will not only remove the “Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law” tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with the rancid waste byproduct of liposuction. It will replace all of your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like a wino’s hat. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It will cause your goose bumps to rise and make you wake up screaming in the middle of the night. You will be afraid of the dark, open areas, heights, widths and anybody with the last name Beaman. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
    And it is mutating as we speak.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  133.  
    identicon
    nubwaxer, Apr 7th, 2013 @ 12:29pm

    ignorance

    i dread the downward path through religion and right wing education agenda resulting in our shameful ignorance. the guy should be commended stupid people got embarrassed by revealing their stupidity. it's so easy to type the term into a google search box to reveal what should have been obvious when it was stated the substance was flowing out of water taps. talk about killing the messenger.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  134.  
    identicon
    nubwaxer, Apr 7th, 2013 @ 12:34pm

    Re: How the water company should've handle this

    of course water company guy first puts caller on hold while he laughs his a** off.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  135.  
    identicon
    Hopponit, Apr 7th, 2013 @ 8:39pm

    h20

    This reminds me of years ago (alot of 'em.) while taking a remedial driving class. The state trooper teaching us told us about cleaning up after accidents. He told how there was a big tanker wreak where some of the first responders and one of the troopers on the site went to the hospital. They complained of being overcome by the fumes from the tankers load. It was carrying "laboratory grade H2O!" The other troopers didn't let him live that one down.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  136.  
    identicon
    Mike D, Apr 7th, 2013 @ 11:18pm

    Re:

    You're assuming that the listeners of that show actually made it to 7th grade. It's Florida after all.

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  137.  
    icon
    art guerrilla (profile), Apr 8th, 2013 @ 6:44am

    Re: Re: Re:

    urine idjit

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  138.  
    icon
    Niall (profile), Apr 8th, 2013 @ 7:50am

    Re: Virus Alert!

    Anyone who uses Windows Me deserves all this!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  139.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 8th, 2013 @ 2:59pm

    Re: Re:

    ...do too..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauLgZISozs

    Oh, I
    could tell you why
    the ocean's near the shore

    If I only had a brain!

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  140.  
    identicon
    Anonymous Coward, Apr 8th, 2013 @ 3:07pm

    Re:

    Look on the internet and you get *THIS* !!!!!

    http://www.dhmo.org

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]

  141.  
    identicon
    Eckerman, Jul 25th, 2013 @ 3:42am

    Thank you..

    If the trees are container-grown or balled-and-burlapped (not bare-root), you can plant them in fall or early spring, when they are dormant. Eckerman

     

    reply to this | link to this | view in thread ]


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