If Your Cable Company Were Honest, This Is What Its Commercial Would Look Like

from the well-done dept

You may have already seen this, as it seems to be getting passed around everywhere this morning, but for those of you with actual important stuff to do all day, you may have missed this amusing mock cable company commercial from what Extremely Decent Films has dubbed "The First Honest Cable Company." It is marginally NSFW depending on your work environment and their likelihood of being offended by a the occasional swear word or vague reference to a sexual act.
Just a snippet of the transcript in case you can't watch the video right now:
You'll have the option of choosing from several of our completely unwarranted ripoffs, including internet speeds almost 200 times slower than Korea... at twice the price. TV packages with over 500 channels, 90% of which you can't view and we guarantee a plethora of hidden fees. Then our barely trained technicians will come to install your service somewhere between the hours 8am and 10 pm, knock once while you're in the shower, and promptly leave.... Why you ask? We're part of what is called an "oligopoly." It's like a monopoly... only legal!
Good stuff.

Filed Under: cable companies, oligopoly, truth in advertising


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  1. icon
    RoyalPITA (profile), 29 Mar 2013 @ 4:37pm

    ...TV packages with over 500 channels

    I wished! In my area I'm lucky to be offered over 100 channels. Dish and DirectTV offer more, but not 500.

    Then our barely trained technicians will come to install your service

    Every installer I've seen in my area is a contractor and NOT an employee of the cable co. I've seen several do both cable and dish installations. And yes, I've seen some "barely trained".

    Make 'em public utilities

    In my area the cable co had to get a charter from the city, just like a utility. The bad news is that neither the city nor the state regulates the rates they charge.

    And the city won't grant multiple charters because the companies don't want to share the same cable/fiber/infrastructure, etc.

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