What I Learned About My Own Daily Life From The Latest North Korean Propaganda Video
from the pigeons-are-delicious dept
I find myself in the peculiar position of having to congratulate one of my old nemeses in writing for Techdirt, North Korea. I would have thought, after having described their previous attempts at producing propaganda videos, one of which included Elder Scrolls music and the other Call Of Duty footage, that they had exhausted the human limits for laugh-inducing hilarity. As it turns out, if I'm to believe the translator of the following video, these were merely warm up acts for the true star of North Korean humor, which details daily life in America.
Now, should a mere YouTube video reach the limits of your workplace's filtering device, or that of your country, allow me to present to you some of the things I learned about my own life thanks to this wonderfully produced video.
1. All of America is covered in snow, which is a good thing because apparently all American coffee is somehow made from snow.Now, should you be of the same mind as I in that you're beginning to wonder why you can't recall all of these moments in your daily life, it is useful to remember that North Korea is a country which has a dead person as its President. This is not an exaggeration. As you can see for yourself, while Kim Jong-un is indeed the country's First Chairman, neither he nor his father ever held the office of President of North Korea. That position was, and to this day is, filled by Jong-un's grandfather, Kim Il-sung, who has been dead for nearly two decades, but holds the office of "Eternal President".
2. Americans, by and large, live in tents and spend all of our money buying guns to kill children.
3. There are no longer birds in America, because they have all been eaten by the gun-toting tent-dwellers.
4. It is common in modern-day America for our tents to have caved in roofs (?), but we are still proud of our tents, as well as our Green Bay Packers Starter jackets.
5. Before we stray away from our tents, note that all of them are built with supplies donated to us by North Korea.
6. Before we stray away from our propensity to eat birds, note that the most common day for the eating of birds is Tuesday.
7. Homeless people, in general, are former Republican candidates from Oregon.
8. America is very grateful to our government for the 1 cup of snow-coffee handout we all receive daily, after which we resume bird-eating and child-killing activities.
I submit that no amount of pigeon-eating or tent-dwelling can hold a candle the level of crazy required to have a zombie President.