Protip: After Committing Drunken Hit And Run...Don't Brag About It On Facebook
from the still-just-saying dept
It turns out that Hollywood (shockingly) is wrong. Criminals are stupid. More specifically, they stupidly like to brag about their crimes, such as the woman who robbed a bank and then created a YouTube video about it. And now we can add an idiotic, drunk driving teen to the list, who side-swiped a couple of cars on New Years Day and then rushed to Facebook to post about it.
Jacob Cox-Brown, 18, of Astoria, Ore., about 100 miles west of Portland, was with friends when, police say, he posted the status update on his Facebook page: "Drivin drunk... classsic ;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P"Acting like such an assclown that even the people that know you turn you in to the police... classic! Seriously, if I had to decide which was better evidence that this young man doesn't deserve a driver's license, either the fact that he drank and drove or that he thought it would be okay to say so on a public social media platform after hitting two cars... well, I mean both are horrible, but I think the latter is dumber and I don't want someone that dumb behind the wheel of anything.
In an interview with ABC affiliate KATU-TV in Portland, Cox-Brown says the post was meant as a joke. But his friends who spotted the update didn't see the humor behind it. Instead, one friend sent a private message to an Astoria police officer's personal Facebook account while another friend called police Sgt. Brian Aydt.
No, not even that travesty of an automobile.
Image source: CC BY 2.0
Look, let's make this simple: don't drink and drive. But, if you do drink and drive, make sure you're the kind of moron that posts about it on social media. Better yet, just drive to the nearest police department, park your car on their front lawn, and pass out at their front door. You'll be saving us all a great deal of trouble.