Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt

from the troll-responders dept

Well, this is a first. We've had one comment take first place in the voting for both funniest and insightful before, but I believe that this is the first time that the top two comments in both lists were the same (and yes, in the same order). Neat. Also odd, but worth noting. Both comments were from anonymous commenters (who says anonymous commenting is a bad thing?), both came on Friday and both came in response to comments to the same anonymous commenter who seems slightly unstable in his seething, angry, often incomprehensible rants against us. Anyway, the absolute consensus for both funniest and most insightful comment this week was on the story about the MPAA's bizarre response to Jimmy Wales suggesting that the industry's failure to provide what consumers want was crazy talk. The AC made the situation quite clear:
Consumers: We would like to pay you for x

Distributors: We don't want your stinking money.


Distributors: We aren't making as much money as we think we should be making.

Politicians: How about we pass laws effectively tax people but give you the proceeds.

Distributors: That's not enough.

Politicians: Well what do you want?

Distributors: We're spending a fortune trying to enforce copyright against the vast bulk of the global population.

Politicians: Ah, so that's why you're making less money.

Distributors: Well strictly speaking no, but if you're willing to believe that against all evidence, then why not.

Politicians: How about we take over the vast bulk of those costs that you are currently wasting on ineffective recourse to the law to fix a problem that isn't actually affecting you?

Distributors: Well, that's something but we still get the feeling that you're not really trying.


Consumers: WTF?
This is more accurate than you might imagine -- though the part about politicians actually understanding why the industry is having problems is a bit far-fetched.

The comment that came in second place on both lists was in response to that same angry commenter, who insisted that I was wrong to suggest that a terms of use buried on the Olympics website somehow bound users not to link to the Olympics website, and demanded a full legal analysis for what is basic common sense. Before I could reply, this Anonymous Commenter succeeded in making the point clear:
By reading this comment you agree to be legally bound to immediately throw your computer out of the nearest window.
As of the time I'm writing this (about 12 hours after the comment was made), that individual has not come back to comment. So, perhaps he was actually intellectually consistent for once and did, in fact, throw his computer out the window. I doubt it, though.

Moving on to editor's choice, we'll start with insightful, with another comment, this one from Jeremy Lyman, also in response to that same article about the MPAA's response to Jimmy Wales. Lyman pointed out that for all of the "services" the MPAA listed off as proof that they're responding to customer needs, the reality is a bit different.
Okay so we've got six studios with thousands of titles and we've got dozens of online streaming sources, lets match up which titles are on which services. Remember, the consumer has NO FRAKING IDEA why some shows are on some services but not on others.

Connect the Title to the place you'd go you view it.

Terminator----------Amazon Streaming
Family Guy-----------Hulu
The Daily Show------HBO Go
All in the family------Vudu
Game of Thrones----Crackle
Shrek 3------------------UltraViolet
The Office--------------Epix
Batman Begins---------Mubi
Arrested Development----Torrent

It should not be this hard to figure out how to watch that you want to see. And I'm not subscribing to 10 different services even if I can figure it out. That's the barrier that Studios need to break down.
While we're on this theme, I'll also point to another Anonymous Coward's response on that same thread, pointing out that Jimmy Wales is in the UK, and every service the MPAA named does not provide the content he wants in the UK:
Hmmm...lets see, the guy is from London and the MPAA representative gave him the options below:

Wikipedia quote:
Currently, Hulu's content is only available in the United States and Japan with licensing reasons cited.
Hulu was planning on launching in the UK and Ireland in September 2009, but as of April 2010 these had been abandoned for the foreseeable future after failure to sign any content deals.

To access HBO GO, you must reside within the fifty states of the United States of America.
If you reside in this area and are still experiencing difficulties, please contact your television provider.


Not available in the U.K.

Only available in the US.
Owned by Walmart.

Authentication scheme, not a delivery of media or services.
Wikipedia quote:
UltraViolet does not store files, and is not a "cloud storage" platform. The rights for purchased or rented content are stored on the service. UltraViolet only coordinates and manages the licenses for each account, but not the content itself. The content may be obtained in any way, in its standardized multi-DRM container format.

Owned by Viacom (via Paramount Pictures), Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer and Lionsgate.
Wikipedia quote:
Epix offers a companion video on demand service. In order to access online on-demand program content, subscribers must have a digital cable television receiver.

Only available in the US.

EpixHD quote:
Access Denied
You don't have permission to access "" on this server.

Quote from MUBI:
amazing independent, international and classic movies and visit our curated cinemas. Stream for $1.99/film or an unlimited number with a $5.99/month subscription

I don't know about you guys, but I don't think it has Game of Thrones in there either.


Owned by Sony doesn't have the rights to show anything in the UK from HBO.

HBO owned by Time Warner.

Game of Thrones produced by HBO which in the UK have an exclusive contract with Sky Atlantic which may or may not show Game of Thrones ont their Sky Go( website.

So there is not that much places to watch a show because studios keep making "exclusive" deals with other companies and so, those things keeps getting fragmented and nobody will sign up for 10 services to watch everything, I think they will just pirate that crap instead, which is the way to go me thinks.
If the MPAA wants to know why the online landscape pisses off so many people, they really need to spend some time reading and re-reading those two comments. But that won't ever happen.

Anyway, moving on to editor's choice for funny comments, I'll start with Torg's comment in response to a ridiculous column that suggested the failure of ACTA was a "cultural disaster." Torg explained why:
Cultural disaster is when the Visigoths overrun our borders and advance towards the capital, raping and killing any men, women or children that cross their path.

Rome didn't have copyright, and look what happened to them. We have to learn from history!
And, finally, we've got Chris-Mouse responding to the fact that Lamar Smith and the House Judiciary Committee don't seem at all interested in engaging with the public:
There's a lobby group called 'The Public'? How much did they contribute to my campaign fund?
Not enough, apparently. Not enough.

Reader Comments

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  1. icon
    Hephaestus (profile), 16 Jul 2012 @ 5:49am

    Re: Re: Re: Re:

    First - You are the one that's scared. All you do is throw out insults and change the subject. You use disproved talking points and are insignificant in the large picture.

    Second - you really do not understand what is happening in the world do you? If you look at what I have written here and elsewhere you will see I am balls accurate when it comes to predicting future trends. This rising up of the masses against ACTA-SOPA-etc is just the beginning of a much larger social change that is occurring worldwide. Don't be surprised if in five to ten years mandatory worldwide licensing, shortening of copyright lengths, and registration is required of all copyrighted material.

    Third - And most important. Take Wil Wheaton's advice "Don't be a dick" or in your case stop being one.

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