Bank of America's We-Don't-Need-No-Stinking-America Patent Application

from the how-nice-of-them dept

theodp writes "Americans are a real problem, explains Bank of America in a just-disclosed patent application for County Assessment. 'A typical American employee,' complains BofA, 'demands a high salary, good benefits, a good work environment, vacation time, and other job-related perks.' Such problems are solved with BofA's patent-pending methodology, which eliminates 'demanding work force' problems by identifying another country for a corporation to relocate its work force to."

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  1. identicon
    J. P. Morgan, 9 May 2008 @ 10:55am

    This is great. I'm going to file for a patent for a method of replacing corporate executives.

    A typical American executive demands a high salary, good benefits, a good work environment, vacation time, and other job-related perks such as reimbursement for higher education. These job-related perks are expensive and may not be cost-effective for the business entity. A business entity is forced to commit significant resources to employ an American executive and may often find that the demands of American executives far exceed the allotted budget. A monkey with a stick can watch a billion dollar corporation go down the tubes.

    I think it's high time ALL Americans pull ALL their assets out of Bank of America and relocate them elsewhere. Show them just how effective relocation can be. I'm also going to stop paying my Countrywide mortgage...

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