Should You Spy On Your Kids' Every Online Move?

from the missing-the-point dept

With the news breaking yesterday concerning MySpace getting sued because a teenaged girl who used the site was sexually assaulted by someone she met through the site, it's no surprise that we're going to see more and more stories about how to "protect" kids online. There's been a glut of these stories recently, and they seem to involve more and more draconian solutions. The latest, in USA Today, is no exception, profiling a number of parents who seem to think the only answer is to monitor and record every single thing that their kids do. In fact, in one story, a mother watches from another room as her son received an instant message that included "an obscene phrase and link to a sexual website." The kid, smart enough to know not to click on it, didn't. So what happens? The mother still suspended his instant messaging privileges. That's not raising a kid. It's over-protecting. Only one family profiled seems to actually focus on parenting: teaching the kids that the world isn't always a safe place, and explaining to them the risks they might face, how to recognize them and how to avoid them. They have regular dinner discussions about those risks. In other words, they're teaching the kids how to deal with the risks, not hiding them from the risks. Over-protecting kids puts them in a difficult position when they inevitably do face a risk: they don't know how to deal with. Educating kids, teaching them how to do the right thing, and trusting them to think on their own is what parenting is about. Being over protective and then suing everyone else as soon as anything goes wrong only teaches kids how to blame others and put their head in the sand about real risks.

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  1. identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 21 Jun 2006 @ 12:32am

    This kind of thing irritates me, when will parents learn that doing that kind of thing just annoys their kids and makes them want to rebel more, a lot of those "kidnap" stories are milked for all their worth when they do come along, which is even more annoying, they always make it out like everybody who dares talk on the net is a paedophile, I've met up with people twice off the net and it went fine, you just need to have the maturity and experience to know where to look and who to trust. Spying on your kids will just make things worse, like the other family discuss with your kids, maybe even give them examples but don't spy on them and don't make them feel like they are the ones doing something wrong, punishing them for somebody elses crudeness is not effective.

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