Should You Spy On Your Kids' Every Online Move?

from the missing-the-point dept

With the news breaking yesterday concerning MySpace getting sued because a teenaged girl who used the site was sexually assaulted by someone she met through the site, it's no surprise that we're going to see more and more stories about how to "protect" kids online. There's been a glut of these stories recently, and they seem to involve more and more draconian solutions. The latest, in USA Today, is no exception, profiling a number of parents who seem to think the only answer is to monitor and record every single thing that their kids do. In fact, in one story, a mother watches from another room as her son received an instant message that included "an obscene phrase and link to a sexual website." The kid, smart enough to know not to click on it, didn't. So what happens? The mother still suspended his instant messaging privileges. That's not raising a kid. It's over-protecting. Only one family profiled seems to actually focus on parenting: teaching the kids that the world isn't always a safe place, and explaining to them the risks they might face, how to recognize them and how to avoid them. They have regular dinner discussions about those risks. In other words, they're teaching the kids how to deal with the risks, not hiding them from the risks. Over-protecting kids puts them in a difficult position when they inevitably do face a risk: they don't know how to deal with. Educating kids, teaching them how to do the right thing, and trusting them to think on their own is what parenting is about. Being over protective and then suing everyone else as soon as anything goes wrong only teaches kids how to blame others and put their head in the sand about real risks.

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  1. identicon
    Straightline, 20 Jun 2006 @ 11:01pm

    Re: you can't play that card

    Consider a flaw in your logic. You have essentially said that 'she was asking for it' - our society and our legal system do not agree with you.

    It's not ok to rape a woman just because she wore a provocative outfit. It's not ok to sexually assault a minor for any reason. (!)

    This case does not seem to much different than one where a bar is held responsible for patron's actions after they were served too many drinks. And since our society evolved without the benefit of a worldwide network of computers, save for the last 20 years, we may need to allow sufficient time for society/the courts to decide some groundrules for who's responsible for what behaviors online.

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