Legal Issues

by Mike Masnick

Microsoft Patents Music Appreciation

from the double-groovy dept

theodp writes "Ever find yourself agreeing with a rock critic's assessment that a certain Nirvana song is 'angry'? If so, beware! From here on in, you could be infringing on Microsoft's just-issued patent for Training a trainee to classify fundamental properties of media entities, which Microsoft explains covers teaching one to recognize that the Beastie Boys' Hey Ladies is an example of a 'fun song.'" And as you read the patent, it just gets better and better. The "process" involves a "double grooving" phase that allows the listener to become a "groover." Well, isn't that just double groovy? Does anyone actually read these patents?

Reader Comments

Subscribe: RSS

View by: Time | Thread

  • identicon
    blankmeyer, 6 Jul 2005 @ 5:37pm


    Just when you think you've seen every dumb patent there could be, something new pops up. I'm forced to wonder whether I should have my daughter (age 5) apply for a job at the patent office. An education and the ability to read do not appear to be necessary qualifications.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Dex, 6 Jul 2005 @ 10:01pm

    The system's broken

    It's really sad, isn't it? Not only do we have the patent office issuing patents for such things, but the government is too corrupt to do anything at all about it. Every time any reform legislation comes along, those self-serving politicians twist it around until it just contributes to the problem even more.

    Corruption can only persist so long before the government loses the image of legitimacy in the eyes of the people. The U.S. needs to shape up now because these patent issues that keep popping up stem from the much bigger problem, and that is one that threatens to plunge the entire country into chaos.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Harry, 7 Jul 2005 @ 6:26am

    This *can't* be real....

    Is the USPTO 'parodying' itself now? What has the world come to? I can't believe that anyone could be so stupid as to grant a patent like this...

    *hooray for the EU rejecting the CII directive!*

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Anonymous Coward, 7 Jul 2005 @ 12:41pm

    Company or employee idea?

    When I see such a lame patent being awarded to a large company I wonder if it's really the company pushing for it or is it an employee's idea that becomes the property of the company due to an employment contract. For example, the rather large company I work for has it so that they own ANY IP that employees create. Even if it completely developed on my own hours. (subject to laws) Either way, the awarding of the patent is stupid.

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

  • identicon
    Chad Woolley, 10 Nov 2005 @ 1:39am

    Blurring the lines

    Ironically, Micro$oft seems to be supporting organizations which fight this type of nonsense:

    Nothing like spreading some extra filthy lucre to blur the lines, or at least to facilitate future attempts to seem like a less-evil empire...

    -- Chad

    reply to this | link to this | view in chronology ]

Add Your Comment

Have a Techdirt Account? Sign in now. Want one? Register here
Get Techdirt’s Daily Email
Use markdown for basic formatting. HTML is no longer supported.
  Save me a cookie
Follow Techdirt
Insider Shop - Show Your Support!

Report this ad  |  Hide Techdirt ads
Essential Reading
Techdirt Deals
Report this ad  |  Hide Techdirt ads
Techdirt Insider Chat
Report this ad  |  Hide Techdirt ads
Recent Stories


Email This

This feature is only available to registered users. Register or sign in to use it.